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Road Rage Doesn’t Pay

, , , , , , | Friendly | February 27, 2023

I’m heading to a strip mall. Due to a lot of construction around the main exits of the shopping area, the traffic is really backed up, with three rows of traffic trying to merge into a single lane to reach the nearest exit. It’s slow and annoying but nothing too serious.

As I drive from my lane into the one exit lane, I am suddenly bombarded by a symphony of obnoxious horn-blaring to my left. To this day, I do not believe I cut this lady off or butt in front of her by accident, but the woman clearly thinks I did and is letting her displeasure at being slighted be more than apparent. She starts flipping me off, really laying into the horn while shouting what I imagine is a very foul string of insults and acting like everything wrong in her life is somehow my fault.

It only gets worse when I choose to ignore her tantrum-throwing. She somehow manages to throw her coffee out her window and hit the back of my car, which only succeeds in making me laugh at this woman’s road-raging antics.

After several more minutes of honking, bird-flipping, and swearing that I can’t hear — she’s got some strong lungs, that’s for sure — we finally get through the one-lane area of the construction zone. Almost immediately, once free to do so, the woman floors it, racing out and around me and cutting in front of me. Apparently still not done with her onslaught of rage, the woman actually leans out of her open window to give me one more flip of the bird.

As she does so, her car veers a bit too far to the right of her lane, running over several construction cones and nearly crashing before she is able to get back in and control her vehicle.

Seconds later, with almost perfect timing, a police car passes me with lights blaring and pulls this road-raging woman over.

I have a good laugh on my way home. Instant Karma at its finest.

Some People Don’t Belong In Customer Service… Or Public In General

, , , , , | Working | February 15, 2023

My brother and I are identical twins. It’s easy to tell us apart just by looking at us; I have long hair and he doesn’t. Due to complications at birth, I have aphonia, meaning I can’t speak at all. I use sign language to speak with my friends and family; otherwise, I use my tablet or phone with a text-to-speech recognition software.

My brother and I are at the mall when we split up; he needs a new phone and I went to preorder a video game at a different store. I frequent this store often, so the managers and most of the staff know me and never give me any trouble. They have just had a hiring spree and have acquired a few new employees that I haven’t met yet. I browse for a while before one of the new employees comes up to me.

Employee: “Hey, is there anything I can help you with?”

I shake my head with a smile.

Employee: “Anything at all?”

I shake my head again.

He seems to get the idea and wanders off back to the front. I browse for a few more minutes before he approaches me again.

Employee: *In a condescending tone* “You know, it’s really rude not to tell someone if you’re looking for something when you obviously are. I saw you in here the other day and you were speaking just fine to everyone else. It’s because I’m [Race], isn’t it?”

The employee looks white, and I’m Japanese-Italian, though I don’t look it. I shake my head, giving him the sign to wait, and I start to type into my app. He shakes his head, snatching my phone from me.

Employee: “I’m going to hold this as collateral until you leave! Maybe then you can show some respect!”

With that, he heads to the back room. I quickly run to the front of the store where one of the managers I know is and frantically try to get his attention. Thankfully, he knows a little sign language from our interactions.

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], what’s going on today?”

I slowly make the signs for “employee”, “steal”, and “phone”. He seems perplexed.

Manager: “[My Name], what are you talking about? How about you get out your phone and tell me?”

I shake my head, pointing back to the break room door.

Manager: “Are you saying an employee stole your phone? From here?”

I nod.

Manager: “Let me go take a look. You and [Employee #2] can hang out up front until I get back.”

With that, the manager heads back to the break room. I am left with [Employee #2], who goes to university with my brother and knows a decent amount of sign. We speak in sign for a few minutes before the manager comes back, the employee who took my phone in tow.

Manager: “[My Name], is this who took your phone?”

I nod, glaring at the employee now.

Employee: “Hey, he was being rude! He wouldn’t answer me when I asked if he needed help! His phone is collateral in case he does something shady, like you said!”

Manager: “First, we never take away customers’ belongings! Ever! I don’t know where you got that idea from, but you never take anything from a customer. The only time we would is if it’s a large bag, like a backpack — just so there’s room in the store for others! Secondly, [My Name] has never been a problem; in fact, he is one of the best customers we’ve ever had, and if he had been looking for a job, I would have hired him. Third, he can’t speak. He’s mute. That’s why he wouldn’t answer you; he couldn’t!”

Employee: “That’s not true! I saw him in here the other day! He’s just wearing a wig!”

Manager: “That was [Brother], not [My Name]. They are identical twins!”

The employee seems to not believe him.

Manager: “Right. Give [My Name] back his phone.”

Employee: “But—”

Manager: “Now.”

The employee scowls but hands me my phone back.

Employee: *Under his breath* “F****** racist a**hole.”

Manager: “You now have three minutes to get your things from the back, give me your name badge, and then get the f*** out of my store. If you’re still here after those three minutes are up, I’m calling the police to have you escorted off the premises.”

Employee: “But—”

Manager: “Why are you wasting time arguing with me when you could be getting your s*** out of here?”

The employee huffed and then glared back at me. He did as he was told; he gathered his things from the break room and left the store. The manager apologized and offered me a discount on anything in store, but I told him I didn’t need it. He rang me up and asked me to pick out a Funko Pop from the wall, which he knows I collect. He gave it to me free of charge, and now, whenever I go in there, I get an employee discount.

A Stony Silence Followed Hopefully By Stony Stares

, , , , | Right | February 8, 2023

On Tuesday, September 18, 2001 — exactly one week after the 9/11 attacks — I was in the packed food court of a local shopping mall on my lunch break. Starting at 11:30 am and repeating every five minutes until 12:00 pm, an announcement was made over the mall’s public address system that could be heard clearly over the racket of the crowd.

Announcement: “Please join us and participate in the national moment of silence at 12:00 pm to honor the memory of the victims of the 9/11 terrorist attacks.”

At that moment, the US population was still united in deep shock from the attacks and in mourning for its victims. So, at 12:00 pm, everyone in the food court actually stopped whatever they were doing and became silently contemplative for a minute — everyone except for That One Guy, whose voice carried throughout the food court.

That One Guy: “Yeah, I’ll have the number four combo with [soda #1] and the number three with [soda #2]. Do you take credit cards? Hey! Why’s it so quiet?”

There was a pause.

That One Guy:Hellooooo! Customer ordering here!”

Right then, everyone’s attention turned back to their own business and the noise level went up.

It will never cease to amaze me how oblivious people can be to their surroundings.

If Only He Listened As Well As He Pressured

, , , , , , , | Working | February 6, 2023

Many years ago, when I was around sixteen years old, I had carefully budgeted my pay from my casual part-time job to buy some presents for my friends. (I can’t remember whether it was Christmas or birthdays.) I was at my local shopping centre (which is in a lower socioeconomic area), and when I was about to leave, I was pulled to the side by a pop-up kiosk guy selling some kind of fancy-looking nail care.

Kiosk Guy: “Can I get some of your time to look at our range of nail care? This red sea salt buffer will do you wonders.”

Me: “Look, mate, I’m a student, I work only a few hours a week, and I budget my money. Plus, it’s all spent and I’ve got no money left.”

Kiosk Guy: “That’s no problem. Let me have a look at your nails, I’ll show you how nice it is, and you can look at it for the future.”

He started showing me the product, and again, I made it clear that I had no money and wasn’t going to be making a purchase, but I didn’t have the confidence to just walk away at that age. He showed me a “sample” of how it worked by buffing one of my nails and putting a serum on it.

Me: “It sure is nice, but it looks pricey.”

Kiosk Guy: “Well, if you buy it today, I could give you a great discount!”

Me: “Ah, that’s nice, but I know you couldn’t bring it down to a price I can afford.”

Kiosk Guy: “Of course, I could! The price to buy this kit at a spa or online is $160, but today I could do it for $100!”

Me: “Ha! Yeah, nah, I still couldn’t afford that.”

Kiosk Guy: “You know what? You seem like such a nice girl who could really use this product. How about just $80 for the kit?!”

Me: “Remember when you pulled me over here and I said I was on a budget and had no money? And during this conversation, I told you that I am still in school and won’t be able to afford this?”

Kiosk Guy: “I’m sure I can find you a deal on one of our products. How much could you spare for a purchase today?”

Me: “Five dollars is what is left in my account right now.”

Kiosk Guy: *Confused* “Just five dollars?”

Me: “I told you I wouldn’t be able to buy anything today. I wasn’t having you on.”

The Kiosk Guy just looked at me so stunned and confused, and I just stood awkwardly for a few moments and walked away.

When It Comes To Shopping It’s All About Location, Location, Location, Part 2

, , , , | Right | January 26, 2023

During the 1990s, I worked at a loan company located in a strip mall. We were next to a women’s clothing store. A woman walked in and saw all of us sitting at our desks.

Woman: “Why is no one assisting me with the clothes?”

Coworker: “I think you’re in the wrong place. [Women’s Clothing Store] is next door.”

After she realized she was in the wrong place, my coworker walked her to the right store. After she got to the other store and presumably did her shopping, one of the employees of that store came over to talk to us.

Store Employee: “That woman you walked over? She called to complain that she was escorted out of our store and was treated poorly by the staff. She thought you were one of our locations!”

Some people will make the pettiest complaints about anything!

Related:
When It Comes To Shopping It’s All About Location, Location, Location