Trick Or Tipsy

| Australia | Friendly | November 14, 2016

(I overhear the following conversation of a good looking, early- to mid-20s-year-old girl as she is talking on the phone. It is also a few days after Halloween.)

Girl: “Did I tell you the wild Halloween that I had?”

(She pauses for a few seconds as the person replies.)

Girl: “Yeah, so, get this. I’m at home and there’s a knock at the door. So I go and open it and there are two boys standing there in costume, pretty s*** costumes, too, and they do the whole ‘trick or treat’ thing. I didn’t want to be a b**** but I also had nearly nothing in the house and the only thing I could spare was some cans of [Cheap Beer] that were left-over from that party a month ago, so I gave them that.”

(Pauses again.)

Girl: “So, yeah, their parents found out and f****** dobbed me in, so I got fined.”

Eh, Romance…

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Romantic | November 7, 2016

(My brother is walking through a shopping complex with the woman who has been his girlfriend since high school. They are now in their early 20s. They walk past a jewellry store and there is a sale with 50% off on rings.)

Brother: *turns to his girlfriend and says* “I suppose I should get you one of those, eh?”

(And that is the story of the least romantic proposal of anyone I’ve ever known.)

This Can’t Be Right

| MN, USA | Right | November 2, 2016

(A group of teenagers comes in and one of them approaches me.)

Teenager: “Can you tell us how to get to [Location]?”

Me: “No problem. You just go out my door, turn left, and it’ll be just around the corner. Can’t miss it.”

Teenager: “Thanks.”

(They go out the door, look around for a moment and their spokesperson returns.)

Teenager: “Which way is left?”

Invading Personal Space Requires A Personal Response

| Germany | Friendly | October 31, 2016

(I am shopping at an outlet mall with my friends and their two-year-old daughter. It’s very crowded due to the time of year and some customers are getting a bit pushy.)

Friend #1: *after several close encounter of an awkward kind* “I hate it when people stand way too close in line behind you.”

(We went to a coffee shop for lunch. Friend #2 and I went to stake out a table while Friend #1 got in line with his toddler on his shoulders. A man got in line behind them, standing weirdly close despite there being plenty of room. My friend didn’t notice this but his daughter did. She twisted around, reared back, and WHACKED the guy on his head. Friend #1 didn’t even see this while Friend #2 and I were dying in a fit of laughter. We had to tell him afterward. I guess the toddler had had enough as well.)

You’re Such A MAN(ners)

| Oshawa, ON, Canada | Friendly | October 21, 2016

(I have just been dropped off near a shopping mall and proceed to enter. At the same time a woman enters from the opposite doors. I have reached the next set of doors just before the woman gets there.)

Me: *while opening the door* “After you, please.”

Woman: “What, because I am a woman I can’t open a god-d*** door myself?!”

Me: *after a brief pause to recover from the shock of the outburst* “No, ma’am. My parents brought me up to be polite, and to treat others with respect, regardless of age, race, gender, or sexual orientation. The fact that you are a woman has no bearing on me opening and holding the door. I do apologize that you did not receive the same sort of upbringing. I will be more than happy to oblige you.”

(I then proceed the enter the store and close the door behind me, leaving the dumbstruck woman standing on the other side. With a final smile, I turn to see a female employee of the store standing within earshot of the situation.)

Employee: “You handled that perfectly. I hate how some people act.”

Me: “Unfortunately, I am getting used to it. Have a good day.”

(As I walked away I glanced over my shoulder to see the woman still on the other side of the door.)

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