“Professional” Means Getting Paid For Your Time

, , , , , , | Working | April 23, 2020

(This takes place at my first job. I work at a popular teenage clothing store at the mall. The earliest we are allowed to clock in is five minutes before our shift starts. My shift starts at 11:00 am and I walk in at 10:50 to go to the break room before clocking in. At 10:55, I clock in, when the manager on duty approaches me along with some of my coworkers.)

MOD: “[My Name]! You’re late!”

Me: *glances at my watch* “What do you mean? It’s 10:55. Doesn’t my shift start at 11:00?”

MOD: “Yes, but you’re supposed to be here fifteen minutes before your shift starts so the team can go over stuff.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. No one ever told me that.”

MOD: “Be here on time next time.”

Me: “Okay. So, just for clarification, we are allowed to clock in fifteen minutes before our shift? Because I thought it was only five minutes.”

MOD: “No. It’s still only five minutes before.”

Me: “Wait. What? So you want us to show up fifteen minutes before our shift but we can’t clock in?”

MOD: “Yes.”

Me: *long pause* “Yeah, that’s not going to happen. If I’m required to be here fifteen minutes before our shift to do work-related things, then I’m clocking in so I get paid for that time.”

(The MOD didn’t really know how to respond to me telling her no. Apparently, I was the only one who had actually said something back. Later, she told me it was unprofessional of me to talk to her that way in front of the other employees. I responded that it was unprofessional of her to talk to me about being “late” in front of my coworkers.)

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Our Brain Is Shredded Trying To Think About This Exchange

, , , | Right | April 14, 2020

My mom and I are at the mall. The first place we stop is the food court, and we head over to a sub shop. My mom always gets the same sandwich. Everything is going smoothly until the following exchange.

Employee: “Cheese on your sandwich?”

Mom: “Yes, please.”

Employee: “What kind?”

Mom: “Shredded.”

Employee: “Cheddar or mozzarella?”

Mom: “Shredded.”

Employee: “Cheddar or mozzarella?”

Mom: “Shredded.”

Employee: *a little louder* “Cheddar or mozzarella?”

Mom: “Shredded.”

Me: “Mom, she knows you want shredded cheese. She wants to know what kind. Do you want cheddar or mozzarella?”

Mom: “Shredded.”

Employee: “Cheddar or mozzarella?”

Mom: “Uh, mozzarella.”

Me: “Then why didn’t you just tell her that?”

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How To Catch A Cat-Caller

, , , , , , | Friendly | April 10, 2020

One of my friends is what I’d politely call an “agitator”. She particularly likes to try and dress and act in a “provocative” manner, specifically so that she can give a tongue-lashing to anyone who comments on it. And before someone jumps down my throat about misinterpreting things, she has straight-up told us that that is why she dresses and acts like she does. She takes quite a bit of pride in it.

Anyway, on the day of the current crisis, we’ve met up at the mall for shopping and lunch. We’ve finished up and are on our way out the doors when we hear some boys calling.

Guy #1: “Hey! Hey, gorgeous, over here.”

Guy #2: “No, no, this way! Come here.”

Guy #1: “Come here, come to papa.”

My friend immediately whirled around, all puffed up and ready to let them have it, only to pause when she actually saw them. There was a group of four teenage guys, none of them facing us, circled around a cat, offering little bits of what I think was chicken as it lazily paced around between them.

My friend let out a loud huff before turning and stomping off, upset that she couldn’t get upset over them doing some literal cat-calling.

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A Fountain Of Jerkitude

, , , , | Friendly | April 10, 2020

I am shopping at a mall in Pennsylvania and I sit down at the fountain in the middle. I get up to strap my shoes on properly and find someone has already sat down where I was.

Me: “Excuse me, I was already sitting there.”

Customer: “Well, I’m sitting here now.”

Me: “I’m sorry if you thought I was going, but I was still using that place.”

Customer: “You’re not sitting here now, so I suggest you get your skinny little a** out of here.”

Me: “Don’t call me that.”

The guard comes up and hears me argue.

Guard: “What’s going on here?”

Customer: “This boy told me to piss off and did the finger.”

Me: “I didn’t! I promise that I didn’t do that. You can check the cameras; I didn’t do that!”

Guard: “What happened?”

Me: “I got up to strap my shoe. I was less than six inches from the fountain edge but he just sat down. And he wouldn’t let me get up.”

The customer tuts and shakes his head.

Customer: “When will you kids learn that lying gets you nowhere? Just look at him; he’s obviously a yob. Besides, he’s scruffy.”

I am sweaty because I had to run across the store from one side to the other, hence my rest.

Me: “But you did! I didn’t do anything.”

Customer: “It’s wrong to lie. I just don’t know where the young people get their ideas from.”

I plead with the guard but he grabs my arm and starts taking me away when he suddenly stops and picks something up from the ground. It is a bag of weed.

Guard: *To the customer* “Care to explain where you got this from? I obviously saw you trying to put it in the boy’s pocket, so whatever you say will be taken against you as evidence. Shall we?”

The customer was arrested on false accusations and drug charges. It turned out he had also gotten a child in trouble with her parents some years earlier because he planted stolen items in her house.

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How Some People Become Train-Wreck Parents Is A Real Puzzle

, , , , | Right | April 9, 2020

(I am working at a puzzle store; it’s like a toy store just with a lot of puzzles, though we do sell a lot of toy trains. To help selling them in a store not meant to sell trains, we put some in the middle of the store so customers’ children can play. The train set can be seen clearly from outside the store — we are small — and for a lot of parents, that is a sign for free childcare.

It is almost closing time, which is 11:00 pm. It’s mostly empty at this time at the mall, and my store is empty completely. The lights are already off, trains aren’t moving, and I’m just about to close the register when a woman and a little child enter the store.)

Me: “Hello, can I help you? I’m about to close, but the register is still open if you know what you want.”

Woman: *ignores me, talking to her four-year-old child* “Just stay here and play with the trains.”

Me: “I’m sorry, you can’t lea—”

(She leaves mid-sentence, completely ignoring me. I feel a little worried about the child in the mall alone, but he also doesn’t make a mess, so I let him be and continue with closing. Mall security comes just before I leave every day, so I plan to just pass him to them after I close. The kid only lasts for a minute or so, though, and walks out of the store alone. At this time, my dad is already here to drive me home, and we both see a strange man getting close to the kid. We can also hear what he is saying:)

Strange Man: “Hey there, where is your mom? I can’t see her… Maybe you want to come and wait for her with me?”

(My dad sits next to the child and asks the man how he is; he doesn’t know how to answer so my dad tells him to leave. I see the woman walk out from the clothing store next door and watch my dad tell the man off. She waits a bit until the man leaves and only then comes running to her child, snatching him and starting to yell.)

Woman: “Who the h*** do you think you are?! This is my child!”

Dad: “I’m sorry, he was alone and that man was trying to take him. Was he your husband?”

Woman: “I don’t know him and I don’t know you! How dare you talk to my child?!”

Me: *coming over* “You left your child alone in my store; you should be thankful we watched him, saved him from that stranger, and didn’t call the police!”

Woman: “It’s your job! You were supposed to watch him!”

Me: “Actually, I was supposed to call the police, and I did call the security to come get him.”

(Right on time, the nice security guy came my way, and even waved at me to say hello. The woman took her shopping in one hand and the child the second and RAN away.)

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