A Fountain Of Jerkitude

, , , , | Friendly | April 10, 2020

I am shopping at a mall in Pennsylvania and I sit down at the fountain in the middle. I get up to strap my shoes on properly and find someone has already sat down where I was.

Me: “Excuse me, I was already sitting there.”

Customer: “Well, I’m sitting here now.”

Me: “I’m sorry if you thought I was going, but I was still using that place.”

Customer: “You’re not sitting here now, so I suggest you get your skinny little a** out of here.”

Me: “Don’t call me that.”

The guard comes up and hears me argue.

Guard: “What’s going on here?”

Customer: “This boy told me to piss off and did the finger.”

Me: “I didn’t! I promise that I didn’t do that. You can check the cameras; I didn’t do that!”

Guard: “What happened?”

Me: “I got up to strap my shoe. I was less than six inches from the fountain edge but he just sat down. And he wouldn’t let me get up.”

The customer tuts and shakes his head.

Customer: “When will you kids learn that lying gets you nowhere? Just look at him; he’s obviously a yob. Besides, he’s scruffy.”

I am sweaty because I had to run across the store from one side to the other, hence my rest.

Me: “But you did! I didn’t do anything.”

Customer: “It’s wrong to lie. I just don’t know where the young people get their ideas from.”

I plead with the guard but he grabs my arm and starts taking me away when he suddenly stops and picks something up from the ground. It is a bag of weed.

Guard: *To the customer* “Care to explain where you got this from? I obviously saw you trying to put it in the boy’s pocket, so whatever you say will be taken against you as evidence. Shall we?”

The customer was arrested on false accusations and drug charges. It turned out he had also gotten a child in trouble with her parents some years earlier because he planted stolen items in her house.

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How Some People Become Train-Wreck Parents Is A Real Puzzle

, , , , | Right | April 9, 2020

(I am working at a puzzle store; it’s like a toy store just with a lot of puzzles, though we do sell a lot of toy trains. To help selling them in a store not meant to sell trains, we put some in the middle of the store so customers’ children can play. The train set can be seen clearly from outside the store — we are small — and for a lot of parents, that is a sign for free childcare.

It is almost closing time, which is 11:00 pm. It’s mostly empty at this time at the mall, and my store is empty completely. The lights are already off, trains aren’t moving, and I’m just about to close the register when a woman and a little child enter the store.)

Me: “Hello, can I help you? I’m about to close, but the register is still open if you know what you want.”

Woman: *ignores me, talking to her four-year-old child* “Just stay here and play with the trains.”

Me: “I’m sorry, you can’t lea—”

(She leaves mid-sentence, completely ignoring me. I feel a little worried about the child in the mall alone, but he also doesn’t make a mess, so I let him be and continue with closing. Mall security comes just before I leave every day, so I plan to just pass him to them after I close. The kid only lasts for a minute or so, though, and walks out of the store alone. At this time, my dad is already here to drive me home, and we both see a strange man getting close to the kid. We can also hear what he is saying:)

Strange Man: “Hey there, where is your mom? I can’t see her… Maybe you want to come and wait for her with me?”

(My dad sits next to the child and asks the man how he is; he doesn’t know how to answer so my dad tells him to leave. I see the woman walk out from the clothing store next door and watch my dad tell the man off. She waits a bit until the man leaves and only then comes running to her child, snatching him and starting to yell.)

Woman: “Who the h*** do you think you are?! This is my child!”

Dad: “I’m sorry, he was alone and that man was trying to take him. Was he your husband?”

Woman: “I don’t know him and I don’t know you! How dare you talk to my child?!”

Me: *coming over* “You left your child alone in my store; you should be thankful we watched him, saved him from that stranger, and didn’t call the police!”

Woman: “It’s your job! You were supposed to watch him!”

Me: “Actually, I was supposed to call the police, and I did call the security to come get him.”

(Right on time, the nice security guy came my way, and even waved at me to say hello. The woman took her shopping in one hand and the child the second and RAN away.)

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Unfiltered Story #191596

, , , | Unfiltered | April 7, 2020

I worked as a Loss Prevention Supervisor for a mall department store. One day, while monitoring the store on camera, I see four young men ( no older than 21) march into the store in a single file line. The first young man is carrying a small bag from Fredrick’s of Hollywood in front of him.

All four March to the young men’s department, where the guy with the bag entered the fitting room. The other three line up next to each other in facing of the fitting room entrance with their hands clasped in front of them. A few minutes later, bag boy emerges wearing the skimpiest, fringed, flesh-colored thong I have ever seen, and nothing else. He shakes his hips in front of his mates, shimmying the fringe like nobody’s business for exactly one minute. He then turned around military style and re-entered the fitting room.

After dressing and coming back onto the sales floor, they get back into line and march out of the store. Not a single one of them so much as cracked a smile the entire time they were in the building.

Meeee, Meeeself, And I

, , , , , | Right | April 6, 2020

(A young kid gets lost and my coworker is trying to help but has trouble understanding her.)

Coworker: “What’s your name?”

Kid: “Meeee.”

Coworker: “I mean your name.”

Kid: “Meeeeya.”

Coworker: “Umm, are you with your parents? Mom and Dad?”

Kid: “Yoo.”

Coworker: “Yes?”

Kid: “Yoo.”

Coworker: “No?”

Kid: *shakes head*

Coworker: “Are they here?”

Kid: “Yooos.” *nods head*

Coworker: “Okay, do you know their names? What’s your mom’s name?”

Kid: “Maanyi.”

Coworker: “Mommy? No, her name.”

Kid: “Maannii.”

Coworker: “Dad’s name?”

Kid: “Dedyi!”

(It turned out her name was actually Mia, her mom was Mandy, and her dad was Teddy. She wasn’t just a silly girl with no clue!)

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Unfiltered Story #191448

, | Unfiltered | April 2, 2020

(I was doing grocery in a popular shopping mall near my area when heard the below conversation between a elderly man and cashier. The mall was giving a offer,”Buy Product#1 and get 30%off on 2ltr of coke”. The sign was big and placed next to the counter)

OldMan: I want this. * handing 2ltr of coke of same brand on which offer is there*
Cashier: Sure Sir.You total is *amount*.
Old Man: You did not give me discount.
Cashier: Discount will be available if you buy Product#1.
Old man: But i want only this coke.
Cashier: In that case ,I am sorry sir but you have to pay in full.
Old man: *shouting at this point and gathering attentions* BUT ITS WRITTEN HERE “GET 30% OFF ON COKE”.
Cashier: It is also written with picture that you have to buy Product#1.
Old man: You are cheating me. Its day light robbery.
Cashier: I am sorry sir but I can’t give you discount unless you are buying product#1
Oldman: So you will give me discount or not?
Cashier: NO.

*storms off crushing on native language*