Not Talking Turkey This Thanksgiving

, , , , , , , | Friendly | September 15, 2018

This happened in the 1990s when tokens were the main way to pay for public transit.

A friend of mine got on a bus around Thanksgiving. After he got on, a weird-looking guy carrying a huge frozen turkey got on the bus. He dropped a token in the slot ostentatiously, announcing, “This one’s for me,” and then did it again, saying, “This one’s for the turkey.” Then he sat down and put the turkey in the seat next to him.

As the bus went along its route, it started to fill up. At a certain point, there were no empty seats left. A lady went up to the guy and asked him to move his turkey so she could sit down. At that point, the guy said dramatically, “The turkey pays, the turkey stays.” The bus driver confirmed that the man had paid for the turkey’s seat, so there was nothing the lady could do about it.

Frankly, I think he was brilliant for buying a seat for his turkey — carrying a frozen, 20-pound object on your lap would not be fun!

They Just L-SAT There

, , , , , , | Learning | September 14, 2018

(I am looking for a summer job in law school and I apply to an LSAT tutoring company. They give me a Skype interview where I have to go through a practice problem as if I were teaching it to a student.)

Me: “So, do you want me to demonstrate the problem, or go through it in Socratic Method?”

(Socratic Method is where you ask the person questions so that they figure it out themselves.)

Interviewer: “Doesn’t matter to me, man.”

(I go ahead and demonstrate the problem, figuring it is a lot easier than trying to walk the interviewer through it Socratically. After I’m done, the interviewer says:)

Interviewer: “Okay, that was fine, but unfortunately we wanted you to teach it Socratically.”

Me: “Okay, but I asked you specifically at the beginning if you wanted me to, and you said I didn’t need to.”

Interviewer: “Hm… I don’t remember that.”

Me: “Well, do you want me to teach it Socratically now, then?”

Interviewer: “Meh, sure. Go ahead.”

Me: “Okay, so, starting from the beginning, what’s the first thing we need to figure out about the problem?”

Interviewer: “I don’t know.”

Me: *slightly taken aback, I go even simpler* “Okay, so, what information do we know from the problem?”

Interviewer: “I don’t know.”

Me: *getting frustrated* “Okay, starting with the first sentence, what does it tell us?”

Interviewer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Okay, the first sentence says, ‘[Sentence],’ doesn’t it?”

Interviewer: “I don’t know.”

(The entire rest of the interview proceeded like this, with the interviewer never answering anything other than, ‘I don’t know.’ He made me basically go through the entire problem myself without making any attempt to role-play as a student, meaning that I basically just ended up demonstrating the problem all over again but much slower. I should also note that this was a tutoring position for LSAT, which means that all of the students I would have been tutoring would have at least three years of university behind them. If any of their students were as dumb as the interviewer was playing them to be, they don’t deserve to pass the LSAT.)

Unfiltered Story #120929

, | Unfiltered | September 13, 2018

(It’s a late-night rush on a saturday)

Customer: “Hi there, can I get a bacon poutine but without the bacon?”

Me: “Oh you mean just the traditional?” (the traditional has only fries, cheese curds and gravy).

Customer: “Noo I mean the bacon but without the bacon.”

Unfiltered Story #119936

, , , , | Unfiltered | September 9, 2018

When I was in grade school I had a really terrible teacher I’ll call Ms. Trunchbull because she was a shot put champion in high school. Now Ms. Trunchbull hated my guts with a fiery passion and being all of nine years old just could not figure out why. In early October the district psychologist had diagnosed me with a mild executive processing disorder, so for the first time I had an IEP (many years later I learned that this was why she hated me). Immediately after she changed all her lesson plans to things that I absolutely could not do and denied me any extra time for tests and assignments. The smallest excuse was used to give me detention, so I was an hour late everyday and never got recess. I tried to tell the support teacher but she either didn’t believe me or didn’t have the power to do anything about it.

Now because I had an IEP our classroom got a computer a full year before every other class because it was supposed to help me learn or something. This was where the Big Bad Terrible Thing happened. You see Dad was a computer programmer, we had a computer so he could supposedly work from home, but if he wasn’t using it I could. Ours was a dos machine and far, far, more complicated to use than the simple IBM terminal in class that could only run programs off floppies (the big ones not the little 3 1/4 inch floppies). The day after we got the class computer, Ms. Trunchbull was very late. So late that the VP was supervising my class of very bored nine year olds. Me being a big nerd even at that age, asked to use the computer to play games and the VP agreed as long as I showed everyone else how to use the computer.

As I was walking my class through playing Number Munchers, the VP got called away. So out walks the VP and about ten minutes later in walks Ms. Trunchbull. To a crowd exclaiming how smart and cool I was. She absolutely lost it. She screamed at me that I was stupid, I was infecting all the normal kids with my stupid and that the entire class had detention for the rest of the week for allowing themselves to be infected with my stupid. From that point on any kid that spoke to me got detention, I was not allowed to participate in gym and she tried to get me barred from field trips.

Up until this point she had plausible explanations for everything but couldn’t explain this away. My parents didn’t believe me, but the other kids told their parents, who complained to the school. Then she screwed up big time. She just left me in the classroom after school for detention, while she went to a staff meeting; a three-hour staff meeting. I was supposed to go over to a friend’s so Mom didn’t know anything was wrong until about 4:30 when my friend’s mom called her wondering where I was. My mom called the school and of course Ms. Trunchbull lied. Unfortunately for her the janitor was doing an early room check and found me reading a book in the cloakroom. I’d like to say that they fired her on the spot but it was my word against hers and she remained my teacher for the rest of the school year.

It did however spark an investigation into her and eventually her contract was not renewed two years later. They made her the computer teacher the next year to minimize her contact with children, and the 5-8 gym teacher the year after. I found out through my friendship with the school secretary that her behaviour towards me was not an isolated incident, during the investigation several parents came forward about her bullying and it was suspected but not proven that she drove a student to suicide (she was his teacher the year he killed himself). She was deemed un-hireable by the school board, so I don’t think she was ever a teacher again.

Unfiltered Story #119558

, , | Unfiltered | September 6, 2018

(Note: The store I worked at only sells items that you can see, we do not have a back area to the store because we get only a set amount of items from other companies to sell, also if something is missing from the item it’s likely we don’t have it if it wasn’t already with the product. I had just started cleaning clothing racks when a older woman approached me)

Me: hello ma’am

Customer: Hi this dress is missing it’s belt can you check the back for it?

Me: I can see if my coworker brought it to the front (I go and check and there is no belt. I come back and tell her this)

Customer: oh okay (leaves)

*I continue cleaning when behind me I can hear the woman on her phone*

Customer: I can’t believe the service here. They don’t even have all the parts of the dress. It’s over priced too. F***ing ridiculous. *Towards me* Hey why is this so d*mn expensive?

Me: It’s the prices we were given. We can’t change them.

Customer: I should get a discount for the belt missing

Me: If there is a problem with the dress you can ask the cashiers to help you with that. However it’s likely we didn’t get a belt with it to begin with.

Customer: Well that’s f***ing stupid. You are no help. I want my discount now.

Me: Ma’am I cannot authorize a discount, the cashiers can call a manager to help you. Or if you wish I can go find one to help you now.

Customer: I don’t want the d*mn manager. I WANT A DISCOUNT!

Me: *Gets one of the managers on duty and explains the situation.*

Manager: [My name] has informed of the situation with the belt. And she is correct if there is no belt on the dress and it’s also no upfront there is no belt. We cannot give you a discount for this because you can get a different belt or remove the belt straps.

Customer: THIS IS B***S*** I JUST WANTED A DICOUNT. HORRIBLE SERVICE. WHAT STORE DOESN’T HAVE THE BELT. (She than drops the dress and storms out of the store)

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