Interrupted Development

, , , , , | Right | October 12, 2017

(I’m a developer at a tech startup. I’m working on some analytics for the Business Development team. The CEO and one of the BD managers are in the office with me. The BD team asks the CEO a question about the analytics I’m building. The CEO stops what he’s doing, turns to me, and repeats the question.)

Me: “Yes, I can do that.”

(I go back to work. A few minutes pass.)

Business Dev Team: “Hey, [CEO], can the report give a breakdown by region?”

(Again, the CEO stops what he’s doing, turns to me, and repeats the question.)

Me: “No problem; give me a couple minutes and I’ll have it ready for you.”

(I go back to work. A few minutes pass.)

Business Dev Team: “Hey, [CEO], can we add—”

CEO: “Why do you keep asking me? [My Name] is sitting right there!”

Business Dev Team: “Yeah, but he’s working. I don’t want to keep interrupting him.”

He Wants No Treble

, , , | Working | October 3, 2017

([Coworker #1] is a Christian fellow who is always quiet and not at all into popular music. Our group is working on a technical problem. We need to establish the baseline signal for something and the lower we can get it, the better.)

Coworker #1: *after some thought, musing out loud* “So, really, it’s all about the baseline.”

([Coworker #2] and I start to crack up.)

Coworker #1: *embarrassed, and without meaning to escalate* “No; what I mean is, how low can we go?”

([Coworker #2] and I break out laughing.)

Peppered With Requests For Water

, , , , , | Working | September 28, 2017

(I and my two friends go out to eat after work. [Friend #1] was born in Peru, but was adopted as an infant by her white mother and as such, has no connection to South American culture. This means she has a very low tolerance for spicy food. We are eating, and [Friend #1] realizes she just ate a jalapeño accidentally. We flag down our server to ask for some water.)

Server: *with three glasses of water* “Wait, why do you need water?”

Friend #2: “Please, she just had too much spice.”

Server: *while still holding the water away from the table* “But, she doesn’t need water. Why do you need water? Aren’t you Spanish or something?”

Me: “Please, just give her the water. She is not Spanish, and that doesn’t matter anyway.”

Server: “But I don’t get it; why can’t she eat spicy stuff?”

(We looked at each other and glared at her until she gave our friend her water.)

Time To Draw A Line In The Sand

, , , , , | Right | September 28, 2017

(I’m a cashier. An older lady comes up with her grown son, looking for construction sand. The son explains that there are only two bags left in the bay where the sand is kept, and they need eight. I radio the back and the backlot staff tell me they need about ten minutes to bring more over with a forklift. Ten minutes go by, and the pallet still has not arrived. The mother checks back with me and I give the back a call. They tell me the forklift was in use and they are waiting for it. I tell the customers it will be a bit longer. Another ten minutes pass, and the mother is getting visibly annoyed and muttering under her breath.)

Mother: “I can’t believe it’s taking this long. We should have been out of here ten minutes ago. What kind of customer service is this?”

Son: “Mum, weren’t you just saying today that you want to make sure you don’t develop bad habits as you get older? This is how you end up as an angry old lady shouting at cashiers because your coupon is expired.”

(The mother shut up and waited patiently for the sand to arrive. The son flashed me a knowing smile as he paid. I get the feeling he’s worked retail before.)

Not Smart Enough For A Smart Phone

, , , , | Right | September 13, 2017

(A customer enters our store. She has been here before on multiple occasions to inquire about phones and plans. She doesn’t have an account with our company yet.)

Customer: “Hi, I have come back to try to purchase a phone and plan, once again.”

Me: “Okay, what kind of phone were you looking to get?”

Customer: “I don’t know. The [Brand] one that’s easy to use.”

(We sell a lot of the mini-version of a particular phone, as starter smartphones for the older customers.)

Me: “The [Starter Phone]? Sure, what did you need in your plan?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Okay, well, do you talk a lot on your phone?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Well, how much do you think you talk on the phone? On average.”

Customer: “I don’t know! How would I know?! You tell me how much I talk on the phone!”

Me: “I have no way of knowing how much you talk on your phone, as I am not you.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t know how much I talk.”

Me: “Well, do you text or need access to internet?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

(At this point, I’m just fed up and I give her two options for plans and ask her which one she thinks would suit her needs better.)

Customer: “This is too difficult! I just wanted to come in, get a phone with a plan and that’s it. You are giving me too many options! Just forget it” *stomps out in a huff*

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