Can’t Even Blame This One On Pregnancy Brain

, , , , , , | Healthy Legal Right | January 18, 2019

(My coworker is examining pee samples for a patient. They need to pass the drug test to be able to drive a vehicle for work.)

Coworker: “[My Name], come look at this.”

(He hands me the pee sample and the results.)

Me: “Hmm, well, it says here Mr. [Last Name] is pregnant, so unless he’s trans and it’s not on file, I’d say he cheated.”

(I’d doubted anyone would be stupid enough to have a pregnant woman cheat for them but, as it turns out, he was.)

When Dyscalculia Attacks!

, , , , , , , | Learning | January 14, 2019

I had a babysitter once who I found out was in the ‘slow’ class and I couldn’t understand why, since she seemed like a normally intelligent kid.

She said it was her math; she just didn’t understand it and could never get it right. I told her to come over after school and I’d tutor her.

I decided to start at the beginning so I could judge where she was, and got out the penny jar to use in demonstrating basic adding and subtracting.

I soon came to realise that she had absolutely no concept of written numbers. She’d see a number and it was just a meaningless squiggle to her. She was trying to memorize them and remember what it meant when you had one squiggle and did something with it with another squiggle. I have never come across this before and have no idea what you’d call it. I’m sure it has a name.

So, we started with the pennies, me showing her that this squiggle meant these many pennies and onward and upward, and it didn’t really take long, once we figured out the problem, to get her all caught up. She graduated high school in a ‘regular’ class with her age mates.

But I CANNOT understand how this child got to grade ten without any of her ‘educators’ figuring this out!

When You Become The Target Of Their Penny Pinching

, , , , | Right | January 13, 2019

(In Canada we have phased out the penny but we still accept American pennies once we do a currency exchange.)

Me: “Okay your total is $15.03.”

Customer: *hands me 15 Canadian dollars and three pennies*

Me: “Oh sorry, ma’am, we don’t accept pennies anymore.”

Customer: “But it says $.03.”

Me: “We just round up. Canada has phased out the penny.”

Customer: “But these are American.”

Me: “Ma’am, unless I do a current exchange the machine won’t accept any pennies. It will say error if I type in $15.03.”

Customer: “Well all I have left is these pennies and I’m not changing.”

Me: “Okay, well since I’m new I’m going to have to go and get my manager to show me how to do a currency exchange.”

Customer: *groans* “FINE!” *pulls out a dime and takes back pennies* “Happy? You know Target takes pennies.”

Me: “And there are no more Targets in Canada, so that makes sense. Here’s your change.” *hands her $.05*

Customer: “Oh but you accept $.05 cents?”

Me: “…yes.”

Customer: “I’m going to write a really angry letter to Parliament.”

Me: “You do that, ma’am. Have a good day.”

Santa To The Rescue!

, , , , | Right | January 13, 2019

(I work at a very small jewelry store known for its crystals. Our store is so small that having ten people in it makes it feel overcrowded. The cash register is right next to our back room. There is no sign on our back room that says staff only. As the store is in a local mall, all the core group associates have left to take a pic with Santa and send the pic to HR, leaving just us seasonals in the store.)

Customer: “I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO HELP ME!”

(I am new to this job and have been hired JUST AS A CASHIER. That means that while I was trained on all the jewelry, I am by no means knowledgeable. The manager gets mad when I help guests because the other workers get paid on commission while I don’t.)

Me: *as I start cashing out a new person* “Someone, will be right with you, ma’am.”

Customer: “Don’t call me, ma’am.”

Me: “Sorry.”

(She stays on the side tapping her foot as I cash the person out. Out of the corner of my eye I see her push open our back room door. I jump in front of her.)

Me: “Ma’am, you cannot go back there.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “That’s our back room for staff only.”

Customer: “I don’t see any signs saying that.”

Me: “Regardless, you cannot go back there.”

(She actually has me stumped because while common sense says that it’s obviously not for guests, there is no sign. It could’ve been a washroom or something for all she knows.)

Customer: “I know what I want. Let me get it!”

Me: “I cannot do that. I promise someone will be with you soon.” *I raise my hand and try to get noticed by someone on the floor*

Customer: “JUST LET ME THROUGH!”

(I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder and am starting to feel hot and anxious as this customer gets more irate, and guests are getting annoyed that I stopped cashing them out to deal with her. My manager comes back, still wearing the ridiculous Christmas gear she bought to take pictures with Santa, and sees me struggling with a guest.)

Manager: “How can I help you today?”

(I slide away and finish cashing out a guest as the manager deals with the customer.)

Me: “Your total is $125. How do you wish to pay?”

(The guest hands me $150.)

Me: “Oh you gave me too many $10’s.”

Guest: *winking* “The extras are for you.”

(I thanked her and put $150 amount in the cash register, put in $125, and pretended to pocket the rest. Once she left I opened the cash register and put the rest of the money in. It was a nice gesture but we weren’t allowed to take tips. But it showed that some people still have a heart, even though I could see my manager and security escorting the irate guest out.)

Total Coneheads

, , , , , , | Right | January 13, 2019

(“Coning” — grabbing the ice-cream by the cream and not the cone, while filming the drive-thru staff’s reaction– at fast food restaurants is popular and there are two ways we handle it. Some employees find it hilarious and others get annoyed because we often have to clean up the mess. Some would even refuse to give the ice cream if the customer made a move to grab it from the top.)

Customer #1: “Four vanilla ice creams.”

(I’m incredibly wary because I can see via camera they are four young teenagers.)

Me: “Okay, that’ll be $[total]. Please pull up to the first window.”

(Once they pull up and hand me the money, I can see they have a camera in the passenger’s seat. I nod at my manager, who is a friend of mine, in case there is any trouble.)

Me: “Here’s your change. And your ice cream.” *[Customer #1] goes to grab from the top and I pull away* “Just to let you know we do have the right to refuse service to anyone we feel will cause a disturbance. Now, I will give you this cone and you will take it from the BOTTOM and turn off your camera or I will call the police.”

Customer #2: “This is public property; I can film you!”

Me: “ACTUALLY, it’s private property open to the public, so we CAN ask you to stop filming, and I’m a minor and I don’t consent to getting filmed.”

(The four teens look at each other, clearly never expecting me to know this much about law.)

Me: “Now, will you take this cone from the bottom? You’ve already paid for it; might as well take it.”

(The customer reaches for the cone from the bottom and does the same for the rest while the passenger turns off the camera — after I make him show me the screen to prove he deleted the footage.)

Me: “Have a great day.”

Customer #2: “Hey, dude, let’s go to [Popular Hamburger Place across the road] and do it there.”

(I had a friend who worked the drive-thru there and texted her to watch out for those guys and reminded her of what to say. Needless to say, those guys weren’t getting any ice cream that day.)

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