Why Video Calling Never Took Off

, , , , | Right | October 15, 2019

(I’m of Indian descent but first-generation Canadian with no accent — unless you call Canadian an accent, which I don’t. We take calls from other Canadians in the same province as us. This is a regular occurrence:)

Me: “Thank you for calling; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Oh! Thank God you’re not Indian!”

Me “…”

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Unfiltered Story #169565

, , , | Unfiltered | October 11, 2019

I am waitress at my parent’s restaurant. Out on the street you would need to pay for parking and we usually get a lot of people in need of change for the parking meters. The following happens when a man comes inside to change some nickles for a quarter.

Man: “Hello miss, Can I get a quarter for these?”
He hands them to me and for some reason I hear dollar instead of quarter. I proceed to open the cash register getting a dollar out and then finally realize he’s given me five nickles, I just assumed he accidentally gave me nickles instead of quarters.
Me: Umm.. Sorry these are nickles.
Man: Yeah i need a quarter (starting to get confused).
Me: (slowly realizing) OH! *facepalm* I heard dollar instead. (giving him the quarter)
Man: I wish it worked like that, but sadly, it doesn’t.

Every Day At This Store Is A Steal!

, , , , | Legal | September 27, 2019

(I work at a small wine store in the heart of downtown. The store is right at street level and by one of the busiest intersections in the city. As such, odd characters, as well as theft, are daily occurrences, and I get used to them quickly. We also always have samples of wine — corporate policy — for patrons to try our sale items. A man walks into the store.)

Customer: *pointing at a tray of wine samples* “Are these free to try?”

Me: “Of course! Feel free to have one.”

(While the man is enjoying his sample, another guy who regularly steals walks in, grabs some large bottles off the shelf, and leaves quickly.)

Customer: “Did he just steal!?!”

Me: “Yeah, it’s pretty common. And that guy hits us up a few times a week.”

Customer: “D***, it’s that easy?!”

(With that he walked to a shelf, grabbed a bottle, and left. All I could think was, “At least he grabbed a poor-selling item!”)

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Retail Staff Earn Oscars Every Day

, , , , | Right | September 27, 2019

(I am working behind the customer service counter when a customer comes up to complain about some policy.)

Me: *smiling politely* “I’m so sorry that we can’t do anything about it; we have to follow the policy, too.”

Customer: *crossly* “You don’t look very sorry!”

(I am a moderately good actress and can’t resist the opportunity. Instantly, I crumple up my face into an anguished expression, bring tears to my eyes, and, in quiveringly heartbroken tones, pronounce the following:)

Me: “I am so, so sorry! I am devastated to have to tell you this, but I honestly can do nothing. I wish—” *gulping hard* “—I could do something for you, but there is nothing I can do.”

Customer: *staring with a dropped jaw and bugged out eyes*

Me: *sweetly, in normal voice* “Is that better?”

(The customer closes his mouth, I start laughing, and he joins in.)

Customer: “Wow! You’re an amazing actress!”

(I smile and he grins back.)

Customer: “Well, I guess if you can’t, you can’t, but thanks for the laugh, anyway.”

(And he left with a smile on his face.)

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That Was A Bad ID-ea

, , , , , | Right | September 18, 2019

(This post office is in the back corner of a shop. In the post office queue, the guy at the front is taking ages, getting annoyed.)

Guy: “Look, get me your manager. I was told this would be fine. She’ll back me up.”

Cashier: “Do you mean the manager of the post office or of the whole store?”

Guy: “The post office, obviously. God, are you stupid?”

(The cashier makes a phone call, and it’s obvious the manager tells her to go along with the guy’s demands.)

Cashier: “Okay, then, we’ll just need to see some ID…”

Guy: “But didn’t your manager tell you who I am? She’s a friend of mine, you know.”

Cashier: “Sir, my manager’s a guy, so…”

(The guy shut up and handed over his ID.)

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