Too Chicken To Order Anything Else

, , , , | Right | May 15, 2018

(A middle-aged man comes in when I am working the register.)

Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “What’s the difference between the pork loin sandwich and the chicken sandwich?”

(I stand there trying to figure out how to tell him that one is pork and one is chicken without sounding like I think he’s an idiot, but before I can say anything, he changes his question.)

Customer: “Which one’s bigger?”

Me: “They’re about the same size.”

Customer: “I’ll have the chicken.”

(The rest of the transaction went smoothly, and he got his food and left. He came in about once a week for the rest of the summer. No matter which employee took his order, he always asked the same questions and always ended up ordering the chicken.)

Not Seeing Eye To Eye On This

, , , , , | Healthy | May 10, 2018

(It is important to note that every state in the USA has their own laws about eyeglass prescriptions. It is most common in Iowa for optometrists to write prescriptions that only last for one year, though they could write one that would be valid for up to two years. One day, I get this phone call.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Optometrist]’s Office. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yes, hello! I ordered a box of contacts from you guys about a month ago, for my son, and he says these ones aren’t working. He’s got blurry vision. I know the doctor changed his script a couple times and I just want to make sure the most recent one was ordered.”

Me: “Sure. I’ll pull his file and take a look. Please hold.”

(I go to have a look at the file and my heart sinks. It’s April, and this kid had his eye appointment last June. Kids tend to have a lot of changes in their vision thanks, in part, to hormones. Not only that, but he came back three times with the same complaint of his contacts not working. All of that was within thirty days of his appointment, so his script was finalized in July. And Mom waited to order… until March. I steel myself and pick up the phone.)

Me: “Thank you for holding, ma’am. It looks like the most recent prescription was what we ordered for your son. It is accurate.”

Customer: “Well, he can’t see out of them! Can you take this box back?”

Me: “Is the box unopened? We can do a refund for the box if it is, but we can’t take back an opened box for hygiene reasons.”

Customer: “Of course it’s opened! He’s been wearing them! But they are wrong now.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. The order was placed correctly. We put the same strength that your son told us worked, and so there’s nothing we can do. At this point, he’s almost due for another eye exam, as it is.”

Customer: “So, you’re saying I’m just out, what, $75?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but yes. He saw the doctor last July, and it’s been almost a year. It’s possible his eyes have changed.”

Customer: “That’s just ridiculous! This is the worst service I’ve ever gotten. I’m never bringing him back to your office!”

(And she hung up on me. I’m sorry, but who waits eight months to order contacts and THEN complains? Next time, don’t wait so long!)

Foiled Your Plan From The Beginning

, , , , | Right | May 8, 2018

(I work at a popular burrito place, where we make the burrito as the customer is ordering it. I recently transferred stores.)

Me: “Hello! What can I get started for you?”

Customer: “Yeah, can I get a bowl, but with the tortilla inside the bowl?”

(This request is common at my new store, but non-existent at my old store. As such, I’m not use to the proper procedures and forget to put a foil underneath the bowl.)

Customer: “Also, can you grill the steak a little longer? I don’t like it so rare.”

Me: “Of course. Do you want to get the other topping on while we wait on the steak?”

Customer: “No, I’ll wait.”

(The steak finishes a little while later, so I grab it, put in on the bowl, and add the rest of her toppings, right before she pays.)

Customer: “You know, you should really put a foil under the bowl, cause that’s just unsanitary. I don’t even want to eat this. It’s gross.”

Cashier: “Would you like us to remake it for you? Free of charge.”

Customer: “Yes.”

(I ended up having to toss out a perfectly good bowl and remaking it. I just can’t figure out why she didn’t point this out while the steak was cooking.)

Unfiltered Story #110330

, , , | Unfiltered | May 8, 2018

(I’m the customer in this story. My car needs to be fixed, and I’ve already made an appointment with my mechanic to go in the next week. The next day, I’m talking to my manager and we decide that given the current work load, I should try and get my car looked at this week instead of next week. I call my mechanic to reschedule and get everything sorted, and then hang up.)

Me: “Uh-oh…”

Coworker: “What did you do?”

Me: *starts laughing* “I forgot what day my appointment is! Is it tomorrow or Friday?”

Coworker: “You just called!”

Me: “Oh god, I’m going to have to call him back, he’s going to laugh at me…”

(I called him back and he laughed the entire time!)

I Speak The Queens(land) English

, , , , , , | Right | April 26, 2018

(I’m working as a server at a restaurant over the summer break between my freshman and sophomore years of college. Sometimes I like to use fake accents for my own entertainment, and sometimes I get bigger tips for being a “foreigner.”)

Me: “Hello! Welcome to [Restaurant]! My name is [My Name], and I’m going to be your server today. Can I get you started off with something to drink? [Soda]? Iced tea?”

Customer: “Can I ask where you’re from? I love your accent.”

Me: *obviously lying* “Queensland, Australia.”

Customer’s Boyfriend: “Really? That’s awesome! Hey, speak some Australian!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer’s Boyfriend: “Speak some Australian!”

Customer: “Honey, they speak English in Australia.”

Customer’s Boyfriend: “Really?”

Me: “Yeah. We do, actually. Sorry to disappoint.”

(For most of their meal, they argued about whether or not Australians speak English.)

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