Racism Pays!

, , , , | Right | April 25, 2018

(I’m a server at a restaurant. I stand out a little bit because I’m the only black guy on staff for this particular shift. I get a husband and wife at a booth in my section.)

Me: “Hi there! My name is [My Name], and I’m going to be taking care of you here. Can I get you started off with something to drink?”

Husband: “I’ll have a [soda].”

Wife: “I’ll just have a water, please.”

(I get their drinks, take their orders, bring them their meals, etc. They leave behind a small tip. But it’s a tip, so who cares, right?)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name]! Come here for a second.”

Me: “What? Did I do something wrong?”

Manager: “No. This is for you.” *she hands me a couple dollars*

Me: “Okay? What’s this for?”

Manager: “That couple that you just served? Yeah, the guy came back in and asked if he could give you a little extra tip.”

Me: “Why didn’t he leave it at the table?”

Manager: “That’s what I asked. He said, and I quote, ‘I just wanted to tell you… I don’t really like black guys. But that server was pretty great, and you should keep him around.’”

(This guy, who didn’t like black people, liked me. Still the funniest bit of racism I’ve ever encountered in my life.)

The Eternal Battle Between Light And Dark

, , , , | Right | April 13, 2018

(I have been working at a local coffee shop for about three months. We offer three different daily coffees: A light roast, a dark roast, and a decaf. This happens almost every day.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Coffee Shop]! What can I get started for you today?”

Customer: “I want a large, dark, light roast, please.”

Me: *slams head against wall*

Lost The Corded Connection To The Refund

, , , , , | Right | April 6, 2018

(I work at a local video game store, where we buy and sell used games and electronic accessories. Every item in our store comes with a 30-day same-item exchange warranty to insure the customer always gets a working product. I am helping another customer out when a new one comes in, approaches the counter and, seeing that all our employees are busy, tries to talk to me, anyway.)

Customer: “Excuse me, sir. I just have a quick question.”

Me: *while I am looking up prices for the previous customer already standing at my counter* “Yeah, shoot.”

Customer: “Well, I bought this charging cable for my [Console] controller a while back, but it doesn’t seem to be working. I was told last time I could bring it back for an exchange.”

Me: “Once I finish here, I will take a look.” *I finish helping my previous customer* “All right. Can I take a look?”

(The customer hands me a charging cable. It is covered in dust, and the inside of the USB is actually rusted over.)

Me: “Um, you just bought this?”

Customer: “Yes, very recently. I was told I could return it for another one if there were any problems, and it isn’t working.”

(I look over the cord incredulously, refusing to believe we could possibly sell something in such terrible condition.)

Me: “Can I see a receipt, sir?”

Customer: “Yup, I thought you might need it.”

(He pulls out a crumpled piece of paper and hands it to me. Upon inspection, I am not surprised to see that the receipt is from over six months ago.)

Me: “Sir, I am sorry. There isn’t really anything I can do here; this purchase is from nearly half a year ago.”

Customer: *looking at me as if I am some sort of madman* “But I was told I could return it.”

Me: “We only offer a thirty-day same-item exchange on all of our products. We can’t possibly begin to cover something that has been in your possession for so long.”

Customer: “Oh, I must’ve brought the wrong receipt. I have another one in my car. I’ll be right back.”

(After a quick trot outside, the customer returns to the desk with a new receipt. I almost facepalm after looking at the date.)

Me: “Sir, this one is from four months ago.”

Customer: “See? I told you I had a more recent one.”

Me: “We only cover it for thirty days.”

Customer: “Look. I can’t waste anymore time on this. I want to speak to your manager. I bought both these cords from here, and now you’re telling me I can’t return one that didn’t work.”

(My manager came over and had the exact same talk with the customer. After about twenty minutes of having the exchange policy explained to him, he threw a fit, claiming that no one ever told him about the policy before. When we pointed out that the policy was both written on his receipt and posted on signs within the store, he then threw the cord on the ground and stomped off. He started shouting to people outside that we were con artists and should be arrested for stealing his money.)

Their Acting Is On Fire(d) Tonight

, , , , , , | Right | April 2, 2018

(It is near the end of my shift on my last day, and I am taking orders at the counter. I have been helping a customer with a thick accent which I am having trouble understanding. Although I have tried to be polite, it is obvious he is getting frustrated, and he has asked to see a manager.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “This boy is incompetent. I have been trying to order for over ten minutes. I make over 100k, and my time is very valuable. I demand you fire him.”

Manager: “Okay. [My Name], go home. You can pick up your last paycheck on Friday.”

Me: *over-acting* “What about my wife and kids? I need this job!”

Manager: *also over-acting* “You should have thought about that before upsetting this fine gentleman who makes over 100k.”

(Mimicking Hollywood movies, I fell to my knees and yelled, “NOOOO!” to the ceiling. My manager laughed and gave me a hand up. We “bro-hugged” and I clocked out. The bewildered look on that customer’s face is one of my favorite work memories.)

Bacon, Lettuce, and Carcinogens

, , , | Right | April 2, 2018

(I am a clerk at a local mom-and-pop gas station and convenience store. A couple with a young child walks into the store after I’ve already cleaned out our warmer of prepared food items, as we do when it’s late in the shift.)

Man: “So, no food?”

Me: “Not in the warmer, no, but we do have sandwiches in the cooler.”

Man: “Aw, but I wanted something hot!”

Me: “Well, we have a microwave you are welcome to use to heat up any of the sandwiches.”

Man: “Don’t you know those things give you cancer?”

Me: *under my breath* “So, just stand back, then.”

Man: “Never mind.” *turns to woman* “Do we need any cigarettes today?”

Me: “…” *blinks*

Page 5/14First...34567...Last
« Previous
Next »