New Addition To The Millennium Trilogy: The Girl With The Twitter Account

, , , , , , , | Learning | November 7, 2018

(It’s Halloween night. I live in college residence, so a lot of people are trick-or-treating with their neighbours, and milling around to check out each other’s costumes and decorations. I bump into one of my roommate’s friends. She’s dressed a bit punk or goth, but not as a costume.)

Roommate’s Friend: *joking* “I’m dressed as a serial killer.”

Me: *looking at her outfit* “No, you’re dressed as Lisbeth Salander!”

(Lisbeth Salander is the protagonist of the Millennium trilogy, most famously “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.”)

Roommate’s Friend: “Yeah! Wait… How did you… Have you been stalking my Twitter?”

Me: *confused* “No?”

Roommate’s Friend: “Then… How did you know I… said that I…”

Me: “I didn’t…”

Roommate’s Friend: “Then how did you know I look like Lisbeth Salander?”

Me: “Because I’ve read the book and seen the movie?”

Roommate’s Friend: “Oh! I thought you were stalking my Twitter, because I literally just posted, ‘If anyone asks, I’m dressed as Lisbeth Salander.'”

No More Playing, As Students Realize That Literary Theory Is No Joke

, , , , , | Learning | November 5, 2018

(I have ordered textbooks for class online and go to the reception building to pick them up. After signing for the package, I go to take the books from the man behind the counter.)

Man: *playfully pulls the box away from my hands*

Me: *jokingly* “Go ahead. They’re books on literary theory. You can have them if you want.”

Man: *looks from the box to me* “Take them.”

, , , , , , | Learning | November 5, 2018

The college I attend has a rather large exchange program with a university in South Korea. They speak English quite well, but they don’t always know what they’re looking at, especially when it comes to animals. One fall, as it starts to get cold, the following messages appear on the “maintenance requests” board in our dorm hall:

“There are a few bugs in our room. They seem to be coming in through the window.”

A few days later: “There are a lot of bugs in our room. We are worried, as we do not know what kind of bugs they are.”

A few days after that: “WE ARE BEING INVADED!!! Our window is FULL of round, red bugs. PLEASE, someone come help us; we are very afraid because they can fly, and we don’t want to be bitten.”

A few days after that one: “We have been informed that ladybugs are not dangerous. We are not afraid anymore, but please do send someone, because there are still a lot of them.”

Lest someone think my school was lax in letting it go that long: an appointment had been scheduled for someone to come look at them after the first message had been posted, but it took that long for the person to be able to come out. It was that time when ALL the bugs were trying to come inside to stay warm, so he was very busy around town.  

But every year when the bugs start coming in, I think of those poor Korean girls, terrified of ladybugs.

An Alarming Lack Of Consideration

, , , , , | Learning | October 27, 2018

(I have classes that start before 9:30 am every weekday except Wednesday. My roommate has a nearly identical schedule, but his girlfriend who sleeps over often, even though she lives in a room by herself, does not. Lately, my alarms have not been going off, causing me to either be late for classes or miss them entirely. Since these are classes that relate to my major, I need to get good grades for these classes. One morning after waking up and being late for class again, I come back to my room to my roommate’s girlfriend waking up.)

Roomie’s Girl: “You need to stop letting your alarms go off so long.”

Me: “What? They haven’t even been going off.”

Roomie’s Girl: “Yeah, they have. I wake up every freaking morning and turn them off, because you can’t be bothered to wake up from them.”

Me: *instantly irritated* “YOU’RE TURNING MY ALARMS OFF?”

(It turned out my alarms had been going off, but only for a few seconds before she would turn them off. I don’t wake up right away, but it doesn’t take more than 30 seconds, often less. So, in her mind, turning off my alarms and NOT waking me up so that I could make my classes on time, so that she could sleep in, was acceptable. She is now prohibited to be in my roommate’s and my room or else she will be charged with disruption.)

It’s Going To Be A Long (Fort)Nite

, , , , , | Friendly | September 25, 2018

(I am a freshman in college. Let it be known, I am loving life on campus; my classes are intellectually stimulating, and there are plenty of coffee shops to fuel my growing addiction. The only issue I have — as is to be expected — is my neighbors in the dorms. We’ve been on campus for about a month and a half now, and every other day or so our neighbors end up staying up until two or three in the morning playing “Fortnite.” We’ve asked them to keep it down three or four times by now, but it seems to be a bit of a lost cause. Today, I had a conversation with them that went something like this:)

Me: *knocks on door*

Neighbor #1: “Oh, hey. What’s up?”

Me: “Would you guys be willing to turn your video games down? We’re trying to study, sleep, and not have to listen to you screaming at a video game at three am.”

Neighbor #2: “Oh, sure. We’ll try to keep it down. We just get so into it.”

Me: “I understand. I’m an avid online gamer, too. I play Star Wars online… which means I also understand that you should keep your game volume at a reasonable level, and not curse at a screen at three in the morning, as evidenced by the way you don’t hear ‘pew pew’ noises coming from our room. Thanks.”

(This was all said very calmly. I am a very polite person, so the fact that I said this at all goes to show how fed up I am. I’m hoping for results, but I’m not holding my breath.)

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