Even Happier To Say Goodbye

, , , , | Right | July 27, 2018

Customer: “Do you say hello to every customer like that?”

Me: “Yes! Of course.”

Customer: “That’s really nice! I never say hello back, but it is so nice that you say it!”

This Apple Fell Very Far From The Tree

, , , , | Related | July 25, 2018

(A girl — maybe seven or eight — and her mom come up to my register with an apple.)

Me: “Hi!” *I ring up the apple and it comes up around $2* “Anything else for you today?”

Mom: “Yeah, five packs of [Brand] cigarettes.”

Me: “All right.” *grabs the cigarettes and her ID, rings them up* “Your total is [total].”

Mom: “Oh, I only have [less than total].”

(The total is only about $2 over what she has.)

Mom: *to girl* “Go put your apple back.” *to me* “Can you just take that off? That will do it.”

(She handed me her cash and her daughter put the apple back, looking very sad.)

Call Of Grandma: Outdated Warfare

, , , , , | Right | June 30, 2018

(My fiancé works in a customer service call center for a large cable, Internet, and phone company. He takes mostly calls related to cable, or payment questions and issues. This occurs one night close to the end of his shift.)

Fiancé: “Thank you for calling [Company]. This is [Fiancé]. If I could just start off with your name and account number, I’d be happy to assist you.”

(The caller, an elderly woman, gives her information.)

Fiancé: “All right, Ms. [Caller]. What can I do for you this evening?”

Caller: “I’m trying to buy a game for my grandson, but I’m not entirely sure how to do it.”

Fiancé: “All right, ma’am. I’m sure I can help with you that. Were you talking about [Special Product]?”

(This is a product sold by the cable company, allowing access to several PC games provided by the company, with an addition to the customer’s bill.)

Caller: “No, no. It was some kind of war game… Modern Duty, Calling Something… I’m not entirely sure.”

Fiancé: “Okay, well, I’m not seeing anything in my system matching that description. Is there any other information you could give me?”

Caller: *yells to grandson in background* “[Grandson]? What was the name of that game you wanted?”

Grandson: “‘Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2.’”

Fiancé: *overhearing the grandson and containing his laughter the best he can* “Ma’am, we are an Internet, cable, and phone provider. The only video game service we offer is [Special Product]. What you are asking for is a disc game, designed to be played on a gaming console. Now, it’s a decently dated game, so your best options for finding it would probably be Amazon or eBay.”

Caller: “What’s Amazon?”

Fiancé: *facepalm*

No ID-ea Who You Are

, , , | Right | June 29, 2018

(I work at a store where the policy is to ID everyone regardless of if they look old enough or not. I especially adhere to this policy if I don’t recognize the customer. A lady I don’t know enters the store and, without a word, goes to the pull-tab lottery machine and starts putting in money.)

Me: *approaching with a smile* “Excuse me, ma’am. Could I see your ID, please?”

Lady: *rudely* “I’m 51 years old.”

Me: “I understand that. Store policy is that I need to see ID.”

Lady: “It’s out in the car.”

Me: “Okay, well, can you get it for me, please?”

Lady: *suddenly rude and annoyed* “Seriously? That’s r*****ed.” *goes out to get ID from car*

Coworker: *who is not on duty, and is annoyed* “She’s just doing her job!”

Me: *to coworker* “I don’t know her; do you?”

Coworker: “No, I don’t.”

(The lady comes back in and shoves her ID in my face, barely letting me see that she is, indeed, 51 years old.)

Lady: *rudely* “That is a stupid policy! In [Town we’re in], everyone knows everyone!”

Coworker: “To be honest, I don’t recognize you, either.”

Coworker’s Dad: “I also don’t know you, and I’ve lived here a long time.”

Lady: *grabs her pull-tabs* “Well, you’ve just lost a customer today!”

Coworker: *under her breath* “Good riddance.”

Do you hate bad behavior? Well, misery loves company. Join us at our Antisocial collection in the NAR Store!

You Are My Sunshine, My Only Sunshine

, , , , , | Healthy | June 4, 2018

(I’m a CNA at a local nursing home. I take care of one elderly gentleman in particular that I’ve developed a very good relationship with. He calls me “Sunshine” because of my sunny demeanor, very blonde hair, and love for yellow scrubs. I am chatting with him one evening when this exchange happens:)

Me: *telling a story* “And my friend said, [My Name], what did you do now?”

Resident: *looks confused* “Sunshine, who is [My Name]?”

Me: *laughing* “[Resident], I’m [My Name].”

Resident: *pondering this for a moment…* “No, you’re not. You’re Sunshine! End of story!”

(It made my day!)

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