Unfiltered Story #200596

, , , | Unfiltered | July 11, 2020

Customer calls in and nothing comes up under the phone number she called on, so I try to probe her for more info.
Me: Can I have the first and last name of the customer you are calling about today

Caller: John Smith
(Wasn’t John Smith but it was a extremely common name which yielded many results in the system)
Me: OK I have a lot of customers with that name, can I get the address of the customer?
Caller: I don’t know, but will you please just listen to my problem?
Me: I would love to help you but in order to get the most accurate information I have to have an account pulled up. Do you have the phone number of the customer?
Caller: No! Seriously why can’t you just listen?
Me: Again I’d love to help you but I don’t have an account to associate with so until I get more information there’s not much I can do.
Caller: BUT YOU ARE CHARGING MY CARD AND I DONT WANT YOU TO ANYMORE!!!
Me: I definitely understand and want to help but I have many John Smith’s in my system and to make sure I am making the proper changes I need more information about the customer you are calling about.
Caller: OH F**** YOU I’LL JUST CANCEL IT
and the caller hangs up.
I don’t know what baffled me more, the fact someone would give payment information for someone without knowing any more than their name, or how she expected me to find the account!

Unfiltered Story #195800

, , , | Unfiltered | June 1, 2020

(I work for a car breathalyzer company. As you may know there are many products other than alcoholic beverages that contain alcohol. Since people with court ordered breathalyzers are at a lowered limit we advise to look at ingredients lists to avoid failed readings)
Customer : hi so your device is messed up it’s saying I am failing.
Me: I’m sorry to hear that, the device pics of any type of alcohol including those in food products and even non-alcoholic beverages have you consumed anything in the last 15 to 20 minutes other than water?
Customer : yeah I was eating a Clif Bar
Me: well a lot of food products and contain small amounts of alcohol we advised to look at the ingredients list to determine if a product has alcohol.
Customer: on the back it says it has “sugar alcohol” but that’s not alcohol that’s sugar alcohol. You can’t count this!
Me: unfortunately sugar alcohol and alcohol, like an alcoholic beverages do contain the same molecule and that’s why it’s picked up by the device and there’s not a way around that I do apologize.
Customer screams at me for 20 minutes about how sugar alcohol isn’t alcohol and eventually hangs up

Unfiltered Story #178368

, , , | Unfiltered | November 26, 2019

(There is a woman who periodically and we all dread to see. She is foreign with an unknown accent and although she is fluent, she seems to have trouble understanding us. She always manages to catch the same employees somehow. One girl has seen her every time. The first time started out normally.)
Customer: “Where is the marmalade?”
Coworker: “On this shelf over here.”
(After a while, the woman caught my coworker.)
Customer: “Where are the strawberry preserves?”
Coworker: *checks the only shelf they would be on* “It doesn’t seem like we carry strawberry preserves from that brand. I’m so sorry. We also have these strawberry preserves or these strawberry-rhubarb preserves.”
Customer: “I want just strawberry! And I like this brand. You have to check. You have to ask someone about it!”
(My coworker was very surprised by this outburst but fetched a manager. They confirmed that we did not have them, but the customer still threw a fit. A few months later, she came again and the entire process repeated, including the bit about calling the manager.)
Customer: “When will you have more?”
Manager: “I believe the strawberry preserves from that brand have been discontinued, so we will never have them again.”
(The third time that this woman came to the store, she once again asked about these specific strawberry preserves. Once again, my coworker explained with the aid of a manager that that flavor no longer existed with that brand. She would have to choose something else. She refused, and picked some other items before coming to my register. I knew nothing about anything that had been happening with my coworkers. I did, however, know that this woman was problematic. I had seen her once before and she had been very difficult and rushed me. Still, I tried my best to be polite.)
Me: “Did you find everything okay?”
Customer: *sadly* “No, actually. I have been coming here for months and you still do not have the strawberry preserves I want.”
Me: *sad for her* “I’m so sorry.”
(I rang up the woman’s two bags of cookies and one other thing that were about $8 altogether. She typed in her member information very slowly and I told her the total.)
Customer: “I though the cookies were on sale.”
Me: *checking the prices* “Yup, they were originally $2.99 and are now $2.69.”
Customer: “I thought they were $2.49.”
Me: “Oh… Was there a sign with them that said that?”
Customer: “Yes.”
Me: “Would you mind showing me the sign?”
Customer: *huffy* “Fine, but you should know.”
(For the record, our store is so big and so varied in its products that no one really knows everything that we have or every single sale, but I held my tongue, called another cashier, and followed the woman. The cookies turned out to be all the way in the back and we found the sale sign.)
Me: “$2.69.”
(The woman stared at it for a solid 30 seconds as though she was waiting for it to change, but eventually gave in and apologized for being a bother. We walked back to the front of the store to finish the transaction. She decided to pay with a check. We do accept checks, but we have to see a valid driver’s license and write down the license number and the driver’s date of birth on the check. This is just in case something goes wrong with the check. Most people have no problem with this. They are just happy that we accept checks at all.)
Me: “May I see your driver’s license please?”
Customer: *huffy, taking out wallet* “You must have a lot of trouble here if you need all this information from everyone.”
(I largely ignore her comments since I just want to get this written down so that I can submit the check and get her away from me. Unfortunately, she did not take her license out of her wallet and I cannot see the date of birth. I decide to just ask, since that’s faster.)
Me: “My I have your birthday please?”
Customer: “My birthday? You already have another information! You my phone number and my driver’s license here! I am about to just walk out of here without this stuff!”
(Alarmed by this outburst, I try to stay calm.)
Me: “Ma’am, your wallet is covering your license and date of birth.”
(Exasperated, she pulls the license out and I scribble down the birthday, then I submit the check and get the receipt. She holds the bag open and I drop the receipt inside.)
Me: “Have a nice night.”
Customer: *smiling* “You too!”

Unfiltered Story #178342

, , , | Unfiltered | November 23, 2019

(The first part of this story comes from my coworkers. This middle aged man came in the store and was shopping, but one item he wanted was still unpacked and at the bottom of a shipment. He wanted my coworkers to dig to the bottom of this shipment and get it out of the box for him, but they simply could not even though he was mad. They wrote down the item number and sent him to the front to fill out a hold form so we could call him when the item was unpacked. I was the cashier he came to.)
Customer: *setting down four small tin boxes of tea* “I would like these to be separate from the rest.” *he indicates the tea and items in the cart he hasn’t taken out*
(Usually when a customer says this, it means that they want to make two separate transactions, so I wrap up the tea and get ready for him to pay. Before I hit Total, I double check.)
Me: “So, you want to make two separate transactions?”
Customer: “What? No! I want the tea to be separate from this!” *he holds up a very large, sturdy tea pot* “Those are metal! This is porcelain! Those will crush this!”
(I look at the tea tins, which weigh less than a pound a piece. Did he really think that these little tea tins would break his tank of a tea pot? I decided just to wrap everything separately and get on with the transaction. After handing him the bag of tea tins, he handed me the tea pot, which I scanned and wrapped. He proceeded to hand me a single item at a time, holding the rest hostage in the cart while I scanned and bagged the items. The last thing he has to do is write his name and phone number on the form with will tell us to call him when the unpacked items are ready for him. Out of curiosity, I looked up what the item was. It was a tea bag holder worth $8!! I thought he had been getting mad about a chair or something!!)
Customer: *finishes writing his number* “Do you know what’s different about the handwriting of my numbers?”
(I have absolutely no idea what he means. No one has ever asked me a question like this, so I ask him to repeat it. Then I look at the phone number he has written down. All I can think of is that the seven is crossed.)
Me: *going out on a limb* “….the seven?”
Customer: “Yes! Why?”
Me: “…it’s crossed. My mom does that.”
Customer: “Do you know why it’s crossed?”
Me: “…to make it different from the one?”
Customer: “Yes! Do you know why?”
Me: “No.”
Customer: “It’s from Germany.”
(He wrote down a long name that looked like it started in A, J, and K where I was standing. Finally we were done, he had paid in cash by tossing the money on the counter as if I had failed the handwriting test, and was about to leave.)
Me: “Have a lovely day!”
Customer: “Thank you!” *he paused thoughtfully, blocking my counter despite there being a line* “You know who says that a lot? ‘Have a lovely day?'”
Me: “Nope.”
(At this point my manager, who is standing at the opposite counter, is looking past this guy’s shoulder to smile knowingly at me. I send her a “shut up” look in return.)
Customer: “Do you know who Cruise’s first wife was?”
Me: *figuring he meant Tom Cruise* “No.”
(He couldn’t remember either, or even the name of the movie he was talking about, but he went ahead and tried to explain a bit of the plot and how the main character says “have a lovely day” various times.)
Customer: *as he finally walks away* “She also said ‘toodaloo!'”
Me: “Toodaloo!”
(After a minute or two of other customers, I signed off my register and told my boss I was going on break. She just laughed. In the break room I learned that this guy had been unpleasant to my coworkers earlier and we were all laughing about how ridiculous it was. They also informed me that Nicole Kidman was Cruise’s first wife. When my break was over, I headed back out and as soon as I stepped out onto the shop floor, there he was! All the way at the back of the store when I’d thought he’d left!)
Customer: *excited* “Hey! I remembered who that actress was!”
Me: *playing along* “Nicole Kidman!”
Customer: “And the name of that movie was Ms. Meadows!”
(He had come back to the store because he had forgotten something and had come all the way to the back to the office section where the globes are. He explained that he liked a blue one but it was slightly damaged and wanted to see if we had another one. My coworker, who was watching this conversation suspiciously since he is an older man talking a young woman like an old friend although he obviously just met her, helped me get a ladder. The guy pointed to another globe up top that was a brighter blue that he liked better, so I brought that down so he could compare it to a very large, very tall black globe. He asked about the prices to decide which was better and went with the black one, which was twice as expensive. I was under the impression that he thought it was better quality than the blue mostly because it cost more. That decided, I picked up the globe because I didn’t think he would and carried it to the lamp section. He launched into a long, confusing story about an Eiffel Tower lamp he had at home that was as tall as him and after a while I figured out that he wanted some sort of table lamp to match it. I led him to an Eiffel Tower table lamp.)
Me: “Here is an Eiffel Tower lamp. Was that the sort of thing you were looking for?”
Customer: “No, I saw you had ones that looked more like the base of the tower.”
(I spotted the lamp he meant and led him to it, but he didn’t like how low the lamp shade sat on it. We spent a while looking at the different shades before he spotted the exact same lamp with the exact same style of lamp shade on a different shelf.)
Customer: “This is the right sort of thing.”
Me: “Okay, I think that these are the same sort.”
Customer: “I really like this one.”
(After a while, I gave in to his rambling about liking that lamp better, since he seemed to always be saying something about something, and got down the lamp. It was exactly the same as the first one, but its cord was unwrapped and plugged in, and it had a light bulb screwed in that I had to take out. He then sat down in a nearby chair to consider his choices. I set the black lamp with its cream colored shade down next to the black globe.)
Customer: “The other thing I needed was bookends. I saw some mutt bookends while I was walking back here. Where were those?”
(I honestly had no idea that we had bookends of any kind. Our store carries so many things that it can be hard to know, but we don’t have enough books to really justify a lot of bookends. I also could not understand why he said ‘mutt’ bookends instead of ‘dog’ bookends. We ended up walking towards the front. He wandered off to look for the bookends and I carried the lamp and globe to the registers.)
Coworker: *dealing with the line of customers but concerned* “What is going on?”
Me: “I really don’t know.”
(The guy arrived at the registers with the pug dog bookends he wanted and I thought we could get on with the sale, but he wanted to see any other bookends we had. Since I did not even know where he got the dog ones, I asked all my local coworkers about it and they pointed me to the foreign themed kiosk. We walked back there and I found the elephant bookends they had suggested. They were massive and colorful, and not what he wanted. I also found some iron Eiffel Towers that could work.)
Customer: “No. They have to push against the books.”
(Desperate for other choices, I grabbed a passing coworker and asked about bookends. They were sure those were all of the ones we had.)
Customer: *incredulous* “Don’t you people read?”
Me: “Well, we don’t really carry a lot of books.”
Coworker: “You could try [large bookstore nearby].”
(The guy reacted as if this was the most novel idea in the world, that a bookstore might carry bookends.)
Customer: “I do get most of my books from there.”
(I waved my coworker off, who gave a “give up” sort of eye roll. The guy said he would just stick with the dog bookends and we headed back to the registers. Along the way he talked about how he had dogs, what kinds of dogs he had, what kinds of dogs he had met, and asked if I had dogs. I entertained him as well as I could as I tried to get him to the front, but he kept stopping to explain something to me. He actually thought it was necessary to explain that a b***ch was a female dog, as if that was better than just saying “female dog.” At first I tried to send him along in line, since we were pretty busy, but it was clear that he would not stop talking to me or leave my side, and we were blocking the way of other customers. I made the executive decision to simply check him out before anyone else in order to get him out of the store and out of my way. By now I had been helping him for about 30 minutes. I got his purchases lined up on the counter.)
Me: “Will that be all for you today?”
Customer: “Hmm, you know, I think this lamp shade looks brown in this light. I think white would look better with the black Eiffel Tower style.”
(I could hardly believe it. The lamp shade was a textured cream that is nowhere near brown. Determined to get through this, I suggested that we go look at a white one we had. I led him all the way back to the lamps. At this point he decided to quiz me on the name of the Nicole Kidman movie that he said I should watch. I couldn’t remember because I had been dealing with him for so long.)
Me: “…Mrs. Weathers?”
Customer: “Ms. Meadows! Like a meadow, with grass and flowers and open spaces and birds…”
(I could not believe that he had actually just explained what a meadow was to me, but I held my tongue and got him back to the lamp shades. I pulled a white one off of a stack and held it up to show him.)
Customer: *examining a lamp shade on a lamp* “I think I like this one.”
Me: “That’s the same as this one.”
Customer: “Really?”
Me: “Yes, the color and texture and hem are the same.”
Customer: *spotting the stack of white shades behind me* “Is it the same size as those?”
Me: “Yes.”
(We walked all the way back to the front and spent a few minutes trying one shade on the lamp and then another. After a while, he finally chose the textured cream one he had originally picked out, but only after I promised that he could return things if they didn’t work out. I set the white one aside before jumping back to my register.)
Me: “Does that seem like everything?”
Customer: “Yup, I think so.”
(Before we could get on with things, he insisted on showing me where Austria was on the map, along with Vienna. We had already established earlier that my name was Scandinavian, so I felt very peeved that he thought I didn’t know where these places were. I was also annoyed to see that most of his items were on sale, since I had hoped to at least get a lot of money out of this guy. After showing him the total, I realized that he would not pay until everything was wrapped or bagged. This is not an easy thing. He had a very large globe and a large lamp and a plastic wrapped lamp shade, which are all items that most people would simply carry to their cars. I had to get really creative with the tissue paper, taping it around the base and around the enormous globe. That was then unnecessarily double bagged. The bookends were easy, but when I came to the lamp I stopped. Did he actually expect me to wrap a fairly large metal lamp? He did, so I did my best to cover all of it and stick in a bag. The lamp shade went in another bag. When a shopping cart was all loaded up, he paid in cash.)
Customer: “What’s the name of that movie?”
Me: “Ms. Meadows! Here on your receipt is a survey you can take online.” *writing my name on the receipt for a good review*
(He looked at the survey, then gestured for my pen.)
Customer: “I have such a bad memory. I will forget.” *glances at my name tag*
(He wrote down my name at the top of the receipt since he didn’t see me write at the bottom, and then backtracked to put “Ms.” in front of it. I had a horrible moment of realization that if he came in the store again, he might request me. I learned later that he had asked about me when he returned and I was on my break.)
Customer: “Treelidoo!” (That is not a typo. He said it wrong leaving the second time.)
Me: “Toodaloo!”