A Sex Pool That Accepts Both Genders

, , , , , , | Related | December 13, 2017

(I am a bisexual woman. This has never been a problem, as I live in a very accepting community and my family is great about it. However, my coming out was rather funny. Note: my dad and I are extreme morning people, while my mom is most decidedly not and requires her coffee before she is remotely functional.)

Dad: “So, you’re bisexual?”

Me: “Yup. Is that a problem?”

Dad: “Of course not. Just keep in mind that the rules for dates still apply, whether you date a man or a woman.”

Me: “I know!”

(My mom walks in. It is approximately 6:15 in the morning, and she has had no caffeine.)

Mom: *grunts*

Me: “Good morning to you, too!”

Dad: “[My Name], don’t you think you should tell your mom what you just told me?”

Me: “Mom, I’m bisexual.”

Mom: *grunts, drinks coffee*

Me: “Okay, then.”

(One hour later:)

Mom: “Hey, honey, what did you try to tell me earlier? I can’t remember.”

Me: “I’m bisexual.”

Mom: “Oh, you are? Good! I was worried there for a second!”

Me: “Why?”

Mom: “I thought you said you were in a sex pool!”

(Yes, this conversation really happened, and yes, this is a common occurrence. I just generally don’t say anything important before she’s had her coffee, anymore.)

Unfiltered Story #101599

, | Unfiltered | December 9, 2017

Set the scene: 6:10pm and I order a sandwich from [sandwich delivery place]. Normally, I get my food within 15-25 minutes. It’s a small location with only one driver. By 6:50pm, I call in to see where my order is.

Me: My name is [my name] and I was calling to see where my order’s at?
Rep: Is that the order for [my address]? That’s out with the driver and should be there shortly.
Me: Sweet, thanks.

Cut to 7:15pm. I still don’t have any food. So I call the shop again.

Me: Hello, this is [my name] again. Just calling to see where my order is?
Same Rep: Yeah, that’s still with the driver. He had like 9 other deliveries to get to. He should be there shortly.
Me: Are you sure? That’s the same thing you told me 20 minutes ago.
Rep: Yep. It should be there shortly.

Finally, at 7:30 my food arrives. Almost an hour and a half after I ordered it. No apologies from the driver, nothing. Incensed, I got online and sent a message to corporate. The next day, I was contacted by the owner of that location. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one with an issue, The owner said that this would be taken as an “educational opportunity for the evening shift” and sent me a gift card worth a couple free sandwiches.

No One Knows What’s In Store

, , , , , , | Working | December 4, 2017

(I’m the dumb employee in this story. I work at a craft supply store, but I used to work at a home improvement store. It was only a matter of time until something like this happened.)

Me: *answering the phone* “Thank you for calling [Home Improvement Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Wait, this is [Home Improvement Store]? I thought I was calling [Craft Store]!”

Me: “Oh, God. Yes. It is. You are. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “You used to work at [Home Improvement Store], didn’t you?”

Me: “What told you?”

(The customer asks whether we carry a specific item. I tell him we do, and that is that… until about half an hour later, when a man walks in with a big grin on his face and spots me at the front end.)

Customer: “IS THIS [HOME IMPROVEMENT STORE]?”

(It was the same guy! I’m pretty sure I turned bright red, but I also laughed.)

Unfiltered Story #101091

, | Unfiltered | December 2, 2017

(I take riding lessons at a small, family-owned farm 10 minutes outside my hometown. The horses there are fairly used to traffic noise, and except for the occasional small spook, we very rarely have problems with cars. I am riding my big gray gelding bareback in my instructor’s front yard, which borders the road, but has a tree border between us and it. A tiny white pickup truck pulls into the driveway and turns around, so that it’s facing me sitting on the road. I don’t think much of it, as people do this once in a while. However, the people in the car wait until I’m right in front of the car with my horse, rev the engine as loud as they possibly can (which was incredibly loud; I don’t think they had a muffler), and take off at about 100 mph down the road. I was extremely lucky, as my gelding is absolutely rock solid and doesn’t spook at anything. However, even though I always wear a helmet, I could easily have been seriously hurt, or killed. If my horse had decided to spook and thrown me, I would have hit the ground from over 5 feet in the air, breaking several bones, perhaps even my spine or my neck. If he had then continued to buck, and stepped on me, he would have for sure broken any bone he stepped on, killing me almost instantly. I will forever be grateful that he is the amazing horse he is, because he didn’t bat an eye at the noise. And to the two young boys in the truck: Gentlemen, if you’re reading this, I just want you to know that you are also extremely lucky people, because if my horse had spooked because of your purposeful attempt to scare him, and I had gotten hurt/killed in the process, you would have faced charges of vehicular manslaughter and criminal negligence. I hope that you think about the choices you make for the rest of your lives, and understand that your actions have consequences.

He Is All Talk… And That’s It

, , , | Right | November 23, 2017

(I work for a cell phone retailer. An older gentleman comes into the store and states that he has lost his phone. We go over the process of checking if he has insurance on his device, as well as going through the steps for filing a claim. He opts to file the claim in-store. While going through the automated steps on the phone with the insurance company, and as we are issuing him a loaner device, we hear things like this:)

Customer: “Why do I have to talk to a robot?”

Customer: “These d*** robots are taking over everything!”

Customer: “I don’t understand what this robot is asking me.”

(Not many people enjoy automated systems, so though this is a wee bit strange and annoying, it is understandable. Once his claim is filed, we begin to issue him a loaner phone. Since one of our devices is malfunctioning, we have to remove that one and activate another one. While thanking him for being patient as we do this, he completely ignores us, which we don’t mind. He is muttering profanities as well as having a full on conversation — with no one. My manager and I exchange confused looks. My manager then pulls up the memo pad on the computer while waiting for the claim to fall through. I think she is making account notes, but she is actually writing a message for me to read over her shoulder. She writes:)

Manager: “I’m pretty sure he’s talking to himself…”

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