What The “F”?

, , , , | Learning | October 2, 2017

(I teach seventh grade social studies. To start the year, each student is drawing a map of the school.)

Student #1: “Miss! I can’t do this! I don’t know what the school looks like!”

Me: “It’s shaped like a backwards capital ‘F.'”

Student #1: “I forgot what an ‘F’ looks like!”

Student #2: “Dude, she’s about to show you what an ‘F’ looks like.”

Having Some Coffee With Their Baked Goods

, , , , | Right | September 27, 2017

(Please note that this is a small, two-sided, two-windowed coffee shop. We currently have two customers, one at each window.)

Customer: *speaking slowly* “Wow. Y’all are really busy. Man. Can’t believe you’re so busy right now.”

Manager: *laughs* “Yeah, we’re totally slammed.”

Customer: “Y’all gots a lot of cars here for a tiny place.”

(At this point, we realize the woman is serious.)

Manager: “Uh…yeah. We’re actually really slow right now. Have a nice day, bye!”

Customer: “What?” *muttering* “There’s just so many people…”

Manager: *closes window* “I haven’t seen anybody that baked since I was in high school. Wow.”

(It took the woman three minutes to pull out of the driveway and onto the completely empty street. I hope she made it home okay.)

Every Five Minutes

, , , , , , | Working | September 25, 2017

(I am working in the drive-thru. It is a very busy Friday night during dinner rush, and it also happens to be a payday. This is before the proliferation of debit cards, so we only accept cash, and four out of five customers are paying with twenty dollar bills from their fresh paychecks. My drawer is running low of small bills to make change with.)

Me: “Hey, when you get a chance I need fives; they keep paying with twenties and I am running low on bills for change.”

Manager: “Okay, give me a minute.”

(The drive-thru line is wrapped around the building, and there is a steady stream of customers at the counter as well, but she manages to deliver some fives to me relatively quickly. However…)

Me: “Only 4 fives?”

Manager: “You don’t need any more than that.”

(The next two cars in line both order a single value meal, costing around six dollars each, and each pays with a twenty. After taking both payments, I make a new request for fives.)

Manager: “But I just gave you some a minute ago!”

Me: “And I used them to make change for two cars, and now I’m out of them again.”

(She returned another minute later with another 4 five dollar bills, and the cycle repeated where I needed more fives after a handful of cars. After yet another request for fives came in that five-minute period, she got the hint and came back with a hundred dollars worth of fives, ensuring that I would have enough change in reserve for the remainder of the dinner rush.)

Unfiltered Story #94375

, | Unfiltered | September 20, 2017

I’m sitting in a restaurant, and the only other occupant is a guy in a suit who hasn’t ordered anything. Instead, he’s reading a book. When I’m halfway done with my meal, a girl a few years young with badly done make-up comes in and nervously makes her way to his booth before speaking in a deep voice.

Girl: Um… Hi?

He looks up from his book and immediately blinks in shock. Slowly, he closes his book and tosses it to the side.

Guy: This isn’t a one-time thing, is it?

The girl says something that I can’t hear. After a moment, the guy points at the booth opposite him, and she settles down. I start to get worried because the guy’s face is completely even.

Guy: So, uh, are you going all the way with this?

Girl: I’m saving up for the surgery, yeah.

Guy: Ah.

There is a long pause before the girl speaks again.

Girl: I wanted to come out to all of you before my family.

Guy: Smart.

He takes a slow breath, and when he speaks, he sounds almost angry.

Guy: This is going to be hard for you. I cannot trans.

Girl: *Quietly.* I’m sorry.

Guy: I cannot at all. I’ve tried, and I can’t wrap my brain around it.

The girl lowers her head, and the guy remains silent for a little bit. I’m afraid that I’m going to have to chase a crying woman out of the restaurant to comfort her when he speaks again.

Guy: So. No trans. You’re a girl now.

The girl’s head snaps up.

Girl: What?

Guy: You heard me. I can’t help you with any trans stuff, and I got to ask that unless someone is threatening you, we don’t talk about it. You’re a girl now. I’ll help you with girl stuff, listen to you complain about sexist guys or catty girls or whatever. Other than that, the only thing different is that you have to put up with me calling you ‘Darlin’.

Girl: *Near tears.* But you said…

Guy: Oh, no! My dude buddy is now a dudette buddy! I can handle you being a girl, but I can’t figure out the… in between stage. You’re my friend, and you’re going to need someone who’ll treat you like the woman you are, not the dude you were that’s becoming a woman. So you’re a woman now, and that’s final.

Girl: Thank you…

Guy: Oh, don’t thank me yet! Dear God, woman! That jewelry! Is that costume jewelry? No. No! None of my lady friends wears that unless it’s on stage. No, we’re getting you some real stuff as soon as we have some cheesecake, do you understand me?

Girl: You don’t…

Guy: Nyet! Nein! Negative! This isn’t up for negotiation! Fight me on this, and I’ll help you with your wardrobe, too! *He calls out to the waitress.* I need two slices of cheesecake over here, stat!

Girl: You’re a jerk.

Guy: We’ve been friends for how many years now, and you’re just now learning this? Now, I think you’re more of a silver girl than a gold girl…

Until the two of them left, I couldn’t help but smile over his antics. By the time that I finished my meal, he was already coming up with the best way to inform some of their friends, warning her that just showing up in makeup wasn’t the best way for a few of them and offering to be there with her for support. While I don’t think that he reacted the best way, the fact that he was so excited about helping her warmed my heart. I only regret not having gotten their bill when I left.

It’s Not “Looking” Good, Ladies

, , , , | Right | September 14, 2017

(I am a customer in line. Because this is a party town, this particular gas station closes its restrooms at 10 pm to avoid drunk college students messing up the place. There are two 20-something girls talking to the male cashier.)

Girl #1: “Please let us use the restroom. It’ll be quick.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, but the owner doesn’t want us to make exceptions. There are port-a-potties outside by the parking lot you’re free to use.”

Girl #1: “Come on. Look at me.”

(She starts batting her eyes and pushes out her chest.)

Girl #1: “I bet you don’t meet many girls who pay attention to you. But I’m looking at you.”

Girl #2: “What if I look you in the eyes? Then will you let us use it?”

Cashier: *stares blankly* “…No, I’m sorry but I am not allowed to unlock it.”

Girl #2: “BUT I’M LOOKING AT YOU.”

Cashier: “Okay, but—”

Girl #1: “GOD, WHAT AN A**-HOLE! You’re lucky we even talked to you, and this is how we’re treated!”

(Both girls stormed out, leaving everyone else in the store bewildered.)

Page 1/41234
Next »