Thinking Too Highly Of Those Eye Drops

, , , , | Right | September 14, 2020

I am a cashier at a large chain pharmacy. A customer comes up to my register with a bag of chips, a Mountain Dew, and a box of eye drops, specifically eye-whitening eye drops. He is very clearly stoned.

Me: “Did you find everything okay?”

Customer: “Yeeaaaahhhh…”

I finish the transaction and then turn to a coworker.

Me: “I don’t know who he thinks he’s fooling, buying those eye drops.”

Coworker: “Yeah, his eyes aren’t the only giveaway!”

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Unfiltered Story #207895

, , | Unfiltered | September 9, 2020

(I am visiting my sister at work, She works at a sandwich shop inside a grocery store. I have to go to the bathroom but I see a sign that says “No bathrooms in the sandwich shop, bathrooms in the grocery store only” so I go out to the grocery store to use the bathroom then come back to talk to my sister.)

Me: “How many customers ask if you have a bathroom in the shop?”

Sister: “Several customers everyday”

Me: (Smugly) “I read the signs”

Sister: (To her coworker) “Hey, come here”

Me: (To Coworker) “How many customers ask if you have a bathroom in the shop?”

Coworker: “Daily, or in general?”

Me: (Smugly again) “I read the signs”

Coworker: “Thank you, you are officially the best customer we’ve had”

When The Problem Solves Itself

, , , | Right | September 8, 2020

I help provide technical support for several products. One of these is a pain because parts of it are handled by a different company. I get a call from someone saying that he is seeing a message to call us.

Me: “Well, what does the message say?”

Customer: “It says, ‘Need Assistance? Contact the Digital Support Staff.’ I don’t need assistance, do I?”

Me: *Pause* “If you don’t need assistance, you don’t need to call. That’s just there so you know where to call if you need help.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, I don’t need help. Bye.” *Hangs up*

My coworker looks at me, a little alarmed.

Coworker: “What was that about?”

Me: “He didn’t need any help!”

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Unfiltered Story #207164

, , | Unfiltered | September 5, 2020

(I’m working a register and a couple come through my line with several items. There’s a short line and the transaction proceeds as normal, until…)

Customer: Can I just enter my PIN?
Me: (surprised): You’ll have to slide your card first…
Customer: (Sends her husband out to get their card. Everything else is normal.)

(I’m not sure if there are places that let you enter your PIN without your card, but I thought this was strange.)

Being A Helicopter Mom Never Gets Old

, , , | Related | August 30, 2020

I’m talking on the phone with my mom, who is overprotective.

Mom: “What’s your son doing?”

Me: “He’s outside.”

Mom: “Aren’t you afraid someone will take him?”

Me: “He’s fifteen, Ma.”

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