The Classic Hallmarks Of A Grumpy Customer

, , , , | Right | September 4, 2019

(I work in a grocery store. We have a selection of greeting cards, but nothing fancy. A customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Do you have giant thank-you cards?”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t carry oversized cards here.”

Customer: “Where can I find one?”

Me: “You could check [Big Box Chain down the street]. I think that would be your best bet.”

Customer: “[Big Box Chain] has them?”

Me: “I don’t know for sure, but that would be my guess. Either that or a Hallmark store.”

Customer: “Hallmark? Where’s that?”

(I’m fairly new to the area, so I don’t know off the top of my head whether there’s a place nearby. I offer to Google it for the customer.)

Customer: “Yes! Do that! Google it! Technology is so amazing these days!”

(I pull out my phone and do so. It looks like there is no such store nearby, and I tell him so.)

Customer: “Google ‘Hallmark’ and ‘giant cards’!”

Me: “Unfortunately, that wouldn’t help you much, sir. That would just show me a lot of giant cards that you could buy online, but wouldn’t say anything about whether there’s somewhere nearby you can get them.

Customer: “Can’t you Google it? Google ‘thank-you cards’!”

Me: “I really think [Big Box Chain] is your most likely option.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: *just wanting to get back to work at this point* “Tell you what. Let me check for you.”

(I look up product listings with my phone, getting a little irritated at this point because it’s clear this customer isn’t going to buy anything here, and everything I’m doing, he could do himself. It looks like the store probably does carry oversized cards, but it’s not clear what kind, and the customer is barking out various things he wants me to Google the entire time.)

Me: “How about I just call [Big Box Chain] and ask whether they have them? They’re right down the street.”

Customer: “What was that Hallmark thing you said?”

(I give up and just start calling the store. Just as the answer recording kicks in–)

Customer: “I don’t want to go to [Big Box Chain]! That store is too big!”

Me: “…” *hangs up*

Customer: “So, where do I go?”

Me: “As I said, you can go to [Big Box Chain]–“

Customer: “I don’t want to go there! You have to walk too much there! What about Hallmark? Didn’t you Google that?”

Me: “As I said, sir, there isn’t a Hallmark store around here. I’m pretty sure [Big Box Chain] does have what you’re looking for, though.”

Customer: “I don’t want to go there if I don’t have to. That store is a mile across!”

Me: “Beyond that, [Big Box Chain #2], or some kind of party store, I really don’t know what to tell you, sir. I’m sorry. I know we don’t have them here.”

Customer: *huffs* “Fine. Another forced march.” 

(And he grumped away without so much as a “thank-you.”)

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Unfiltered Story #160890

, , , | Unfiltered | August 23, 2019

(I work two jobs, both in retail. On this particular day, I work a double shift–going straight from one job to the next–with no break in between, making it a 12-hour day for me. I also worked double shifts for the previous two days, and I’ve been sleeping badly and not having time to eat enough. Needless to say, I’m exhausted, but I’m trying to make the best of it and be cheerful and friendly for my customers. At my first job, I have a lot of stocking to do but I keep getting called up to the registers because we’re very busy in spite of the thunderstorm going on outside. A regular comes through my line. I’ve seen her a lot. I ring her up, and then…)

Customer: You know, I just love it when you’re here. You’re always so kind.

Me: Oh! Thank you so much!

Customer: You’re just wonderful! You’re so good at this. I’m so glad you’re here.

Me: Well, it’s always good to see you, too! You’re always polite.

Customer: So are you! Thank you so much! And have a good day, okay?

Me: You too!

(Thank you, sweet customer, for being awesome. Your kindness meant more than you know. It was a lot easier to smile for the rest of the day!)

Has A Ring Of Familiarity To It

, , , , | Right | August 18, 2019

(A customer comes in, purchases her things, and then leaves. After a couple of minutes, she comes back in.)

Customer: “I can’t find my phone in my car. I don’t remember bringing it in here, but can you help me look for it?”

(She and I both start to look for it.)

Me: “Do you want me to call your phone to make this easier?”

Customer: “Yeah, let’s do that.”

(She gives me the number and I call her phone. After a moment, the ringing starts in her jacket pocket.)

Customer: *embarrassed* “On that note, this idiot is leaving.”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Have a nice day.”

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You’re On Thin Ice With This Customer

, , , , | Right | August 2, 2019

(I work as a student supervisor at a smoothie place on campus. A woman says this to me one Saturday night.)

Customer: “Is there any way you could make that smoothie less cold?”

Me: *confused* “Um, excuse me, ma’am?”

Customer: “Well, you see, it’s for the kids, and they cannot handle cold drinks.”

Me: “All right, would you like it made with less ice and more water, then?”

Customer: “No, no, no! That’ll dilute the flavor! I want it less cold!”

(Knowing there is no way to do this, I simply make her a normal kiwi smoothie. She smiles at me and says:)

Customer: “That wasn’t so hard, now, was it?”

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Mango Away!

, , , , | Right | August 1, 2019

(I work at a smoothie bar. When we prepare fruit, we leave them on the counter before we put on lids for each container. A woman comes up, takes a napkin, takes a whole handful of mangos from off the counter, and starts to walk away.)

Me: “Um, excuse me, ma’am! You cannot take those!”

Woman: “I’m sorry, they just looked so delicious!”

Me: *taken aback* “All the same, ma’am, you cannot take those.”

Woman: *completely serious* “It was very rude of you to tempt me by putting these out like this!”

(I look at her, confused.)

Woman: “And very unsanitary, too! Anyone could just come up and take some. If anything, I’m teaching you a lesson.”

(She stormed off after angrily throwing away the mangos.)

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