I am an American visiting an old village in Japan that’s popular with tourists. Part of the charm of the main street is the locals engaging in age-old crafts outside their places of business, from traditional mochi-making to calligraphy. It’s mostly for the tourists, of course, but it’s still charming.

Another American family is touring nearby. The two sons — the oldest is maybe seven — are impressed with everything they’ve seen so far.

Boy: “Dad! Dad! Look!”

Dad: “Yeah, that’s cool.”

Boy: “That man is 3D-printing a chair!”

I quickly turn to look, and I see that the boy is impressed with this old Japanese carpenter shaving off some unwanted pieces of wood from the side of a stool he is making.

Dad: “Ooh, boy. Okay, son, let me tell you what carpentry is…”

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Technically Correct: The Best Kind Of Correct, Part 3
Technically Correct: The Best Kind Of Correct, Part 2
Technically Correct: The Best Kind Of Correct

I’m on lunch from my shift at the grocery store, and I go across the street to the coffee shop to get some much-needed coffee and a snack. I’m standing in line, and the woman in front of me notices my uniform.

Customer: “Oh, you work at [Store]. I was just there; it’s so busy!”

Me: “Yeah, everyone’s buying last-minute items for Mother’s Day.”

Customer: “Well, I’m glad you’re getting a break from it all!” 

Me: “That’s an interesting pastry you’re getting.”

Customer: “Oh, yes! I love it. Have you never had it before?” 

Me: “Oh, well, I don’t normally come here, but I’m working a double today, so I thought I’d get myself a treat.”

Instead of getting three of the pastries (for herself, her partner, and their kid), she buys four. I don’t think much of this as I zone out a little and check all the text messages that came my way while I was on my shift. As I’m about to order my coffee, the woman hands me the fourth pastry.

Customer: “You’re doing a great job, and I wish you the best for the rest of your shift!”

Before I could process what had happened, she darted off toward the exit and left with her partner and kid. I weakly shouted out a thank-you before I realized there was a $10 bill on the counter that the barista said had been left for me to order whatever drink I wanted.

That was the nicest thing a customer has ever done for me, and she wasn’t even my customer!

CONTENT WARNING: Violence (Threats, Suggestion Of Sexual Assault)

It is currently hot as balls in our state, so even with the AC on, we are all very uncomfortable at the checkout lane near the constantly opening doors. Since we’re a small store and don’t have a set uniform (we can wear any top as long as it’s black), I am currently wearing a sleeveless top.

An older man in my checkout lane seems to not be too impressed that I — a young woman — wish to be comfortable for my own benefit.

Customer: “Typical. All you girls say you don’t want any of this attention, but I see you go out wearing all these tiny and tight outfits, showing off as much skin as possible.”

Me: “Sir, it may be hard for you to believe, but I wear what I wear for my benefit, not yours.”

Customer: “Always the same defense, but the truth is that you have a choice to dress revealingly or not, and every time you choose to, you’re asking for it. You girls really are asking for it.”

Me: “Excuse me, sir, do you want me to hold your items while you run back to our auto section to get a bike helmet or some protective headgear?”

Customer: “What are you talking about?! I don’t need one of those!”

Me: “Oh, I just assumed since you’re not wearing protective headgear, you’re basically asking me to smash your head in with a hammer? I mean, you’re not wearing one, so you must be asking for it, right?”

Customer: “That’s… that’s…”

Me: *To my coworker in the next aisle* “Hey, do you have a hammer I could borrow? I promise to be real quick.”

Customer: “That is not what I meant, and you—”

Me: *Fake speaking into my walkie-talkie* “Security to checkout, security to checkout. Oh… and bring a hammer.”

Customer: “Dumb f****** sl*t!”

He stormed off, leaving behind his shopping.

My coworker is serving a table with a couple and their child, about eleven years old or so. They order an apple juice for the kid, and [Coworker] brings it over in an adult glass.

Father: “I don’t want my kid to have all that sugar! Bring her a kid-sized drink!”

Coworker: “Sir, the glasses are the same size. The adult size just looks bigger because they have thick bottoms.”

Father: “Are you blind?! That adult glass is clearly bigger, and like I said, I don’t want my kid to have all that sugar!” 

My coworker is a bit of an a**hole. He gave the man a super deliberate exaggerated nod, said nothing, and marched to our little service alley behind the bar. He reemerged with a kids’ cup and set it down beside the adult glass. Then he picked up the adult and poured the juice into the kids’ cup, lifting it progressively higher until the last drops were dropped from like a foot over the glass.

He then darted the f*** off to the kitchen without even looking at the father, like he didn’t even exist. It was a challenge trying not to smile as I witnessed that!

When I started working at a hotel, I made a point to familiarize myself with our website so I would know what was there and what was not, how to do things, and where things were located. It’s much easier to debunk ridiculous claims when I know exactly how our website works. “But it didn’t say that online!” Yes, sir, it did, right here.

And let me just tell you, I get more than enough practice because people are dumb.

[Guest] gives me a call while he’s on speakerphone. His wife is in the room. They’re both b****ing at me. He starts his rant by saying:

Guest: “I went on your website to book a room, I put in all of my payment information, and then when I clicked the button to pay, your site redirected me to a third-party site and charged me an extra $50!”

Oh, for f***’s sake. What would be the point of our website redirecting someone to another site that takes half the money for themselves and only gives the hotel a tiny bit of it?

Me: “Sir, our website doesn’t redirect to any third-party website. It doesn’t even advertise or link to a third-party website.”

Guest: “So, what you’re saying is that you’re committing fraud?!”

Me: “I— Wha— Fraud for what? What exactly do you think is fraudulent here?”

Yeah, I am pissed.

Guest: “I told you I put in my payment information and it redirected me to a third party and charged me $50 more than I agreed to pay. And now you’re lying telling me your site doesn’t do that. That’s fraud. So what, should I call the police now?”

Oh, please do. Call the police. Do it. I dare you.

Me: “And I told you that our site doesn’t work like that. What’s the name on your reservation?”

Guest: “This is fraud!”

Me: “Hey! I asked what name the reservation was under. I can’t tell you anything if I don’t see your reservation.”

He tells me, and I look it up. Sure enough, there it is: prepaid, nonrefundable, noncancelable. Third party. Of course. I look through the change log and routing history and tell him it was booked through [Online Travel Agency] from the start — not our site.

He wants me to cancel, and I tell him he needs to call [Online Travel Agency] to cancel.

Guest: “But we stay there all the time! My wife and I have stayed there literally hundreds of times, and we always book direct!”

And because I’m petty, I later searched for him in our system, clear back to when the hotel first opened. Do you know how many times he’s stayed at our hotel? Hm? Five times. Five times since it opened over six years ago. And three of those five reservations were booked through a third party.

Me: “Okay, well, when you book through a third party, you’re not our customer. You need to call [Online Travel Agency] and ask them about this.”

Guest: “But it was your site that did this!”

Me: “Look, here, I’ll go through the entire booking process on our website just to show that it doesn’t redirect anywhere.”

I start doing that, and he and his wife are both still yelling at me at the same time. I lose it.

Me: “Hey! I told you I’d go through the process myself, but I can’t do anything if you’re both yelling at me.”

Guest: “Sorry, take your time.”

And he shuts up.

I go through the process. No redirects, no links to online travel agencies. I tell him as much, but he still insists he was using our website.

I ask him what the URL was on the website he used. And then I have to explain what a URL is because, apparently, that’s not common knowledge these days.

Guest: “It was [URL].”

Me: “Yeah, that’s not our website. Our website’s URL is [Official Website URL]. You were probably looking at the [Hotel] page on a third-party site.

Guest: “So, what am I supposed to do?”

Me: “Call the online travel agency. That’s all I can tell you.”

Guest: “Can’t you refund me?”

Me: “No, I don’t have your money or your payment information. You didn’t pay us; you paid the agency. That’s the bottom line. You need to call the company you booked it through because I can’t do anything here.”

He grumbled and hung up.