The Home School Fool

, , , , | Friendly | November 12, 2019

(I am visiting another state to attend a convention that my dad volunteers for every year. My mother and I are out shopping for some snacks. An old lady seems to be following us through the grocery store, until she finally speaks up.)

Old Lady: “Why aren’t you in school?”

Mom: “We’re on vacation.”

(It’s not a lie. I am still being homeschooled at this time, but during the convention I don’t have to do any school work.)

Old Lady: “That’s irresponsible! You shouldn’t go on vacation during the school year. Your daughter isn’t going to pass her classes.”

Me: “It’s fine. I’m homeschooled so I can do my work whenever I want.”

(The old lady is aghast at this point, so I slide closer to my mom. We’ve had so many interactions like this that I know what’s coming.)

Old Lady: “Homeschooled?! How horrible! You’ll never get into college or get a good job! And how will you get a husband with such poor socialization?”

Mom: “Hey! Don’t talk to my daughter that way. Get away from us.”

(The old lady grabs my mom’s arm and yanks her towards her. The cashier sees this happen and picks up the phone while the old lady chews out my mom.)

Old Lady: “You are ruining her life! She’s going to be stupid and too shy to do anything!”

Me: “Let go of my mom!”

Old Lady: “Don’t talk back to your elders!”

(She raises her hand to me, but my mom blocks her and then pulls her own arm away.)

Mom: “If you touch either of us again, I will be pressing charges. Look up, dumba**. You’re on camera, and the cashier already called the cops.”

(The old lady backed off and went back to shopping as if nothing had ever happened. When the police finally arrived, they took everyone’s statements but did little else.)

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Putting The Customers Back In Their Boxes

, , , | Right | November 2, 2019

(I work at a grocery store where, instead of providing free plastic bags, we use the cardboard boxes our stock comes in and sell reusable bags. We only get three deliveries per week, but some people seem to think we have a constant supply. When we are between deliveries and starting to run low, a couple who bought a dozen small items, like single candies and jerky, start rooting through the bins.)

Customer #1: “Excuse me? Why do you only have these little boxes out? Can you get more of the better ones out of the back?”

Me: “These are the only ones we have left; we’re waiting on our next delivery.”

(They roll their eyes with disdain.)

Customer #1: “Fine, we’ll just make do with these, then.” 

(Then, they bring over a shopping cart and start filling it up with boxes. While they’re doing this, all the items they bought are in a single box up on the kid seat of cart.)

Me: “Excuse me. What are you doing?”

Customer #1: “We’re taking all these boxes.”

Me: “Sorry, you can’t do that.”

Customer #1: “Why not? They’re free, aren’t they?”

Me: “These boxes are provided for customers to carry out their purchases.”

Customer #1: “But we are customers; we bought something! We’re running a home business, and we need boxes to mail our packages. Besides, we’re helping you by recycling these boxes; otherwise, you would just throw them away!”

Me: “No, we don’t throw them away; we use them instead of plastic bags. You can keep whatever box you need to carry out your purchase, but no more than that.”

(Another customer approaches the counter, and I start checking them out. The new customer and I look on in disbelief as they start dividing their purchase up one item per box, thinking they are being crafty.)

Me: “Excuse me. You need to stop that. I told you to only take what you need to carry out your items.”

Customer #1: *rattling a single truffle candy in a much larger box* “But I need a box for this, and one for this, and one for this…”

Me: “And how would you like it if you had a cart full of stuff, and you had to spend extra on bags or carry it all out in your arms because someone else had helped themselves to all the boxes? Put all the items back in the box you started with, and in the future, please go to a shipping supply store for your business needs.”

(The second customer, who has a much larger purchase on the counter, is also giving them a hard stare as an example of exactly how that would make one feel, so they are shamed into backing down, dumping their items into the largest box they had, and grumbling as they leave.) 

Customer #2: “Wow, do you get a lot of freeloaders like that?”

Me: “Only on a bad day.”

(Not long after this, another customer comes in and goes straight to the box bin, picking out the sturdiest ones.)

Customer #3: “I’m just grabbing these before I’m doing my shopping. I’ll be back in just a sec!”

(Some people do this just to make sure their items fit beforehand, but something about the way she grabs about five large boxes and says she’ll be back so quickly puts me on my guard. Sure enough, she comes back with only two cans, and no boxes.)

Me: “Um, where did the boxes go?”

Customer #3: “Oh, I went and put them out in my car before I did my shopping. I only needed a couple things, and they would have just been in the way.”

Me: “Just so you know in the future, we ask that customers only take what they need and not just take boxes.”

Customer #3: *demeanor flipping from cheery to snotty* “Well, I come in here all the time and spend hundreds of dollars, so I really don’t need that attitude from you.”

Me: *thinking* “With all due respect, ma’am, you’re not special, and if you’re such a big spender, then go buy your own boxes.” *out loud* “We value all our customers equally, regardless of how much they spend. It’s just that other people also need these boxes to carry out their items.”

Customer #3: “I come in here all the time, and the other cashiers kindly let me take a few of your precious cardboard boxes.”

(She snatched the receipt and flounced out with her nose in the air. Then, when the cashier came back from her lunch, I went back to my department. Later on, she called me up to the register because the customer demanded a manager because we had run out of boxes. The entire time they ranted, I was screaming internally.)

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They Made A Gumbo Dumbo

, , , , , | Working | November 1, 2019

(I go to a chain sandwich shop that’s given me a nice coupon for my birthday. It’s pretty slow; there’s one other couple eating food at a table, and no one else comes in for several minutes after I place my order. I want to try something new, so I order an Italian po’ boy and a cup of seafood gumbo. The sandwich comes with a choice of sides, and I opt for some BBQ-flavored potato chips. A seat myself and wait for my food. When it comes out, the potato chips on the plate don’t have the coloring one would expect from BBQ-flavored chips.)

Me: “Is this what your BBQ chips look like? They look a little odd.”

Server: “Oh, oops. No, those are our baked chips. Let me go get you your BBQ chips.”

(While she’s gone, I take a look at the soup she had placed on the table. It looks a little thin, and I stick my spoon in it and stir it around a bit. It’s all broth. The server returns shortly with my chips.)

Me: “I don’t think this is gumbo.”

Server: “No, it’s not. It’s the au jus for your sandwich.”

(I look at my sandwich. Since I am trying something new, I don’t know what my po’ boy is supposed to look like.)

Me: “So, this sandwich isn’t an Italian po’ boy, then?”

Server: “Oh, I’m so sorry. Let me fix your order for you.”

(She was very polite and apologetic, and we both had a good laugh. But seriously, with practically no one else in the restaurant, how did they mess up every single part of my order?)

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Is That For Here Or To Please Go Away?

, , , | Right | October 24, 2019

(I work in a burger place that also sells other types of meat. We’re better than fast food, but not fancy whatsoever. We get a lot of old people on the weekends, and they aren’t always understanding. So, as a female, I get talked down to a lot. This elderly gentleman with his quiet wife comes in and he walks up the register I’m standing at to order his food. Before I can put his order in for the cooks to start cooking, I need to know if it’s for dine in or to go, so…)

Customer: “Hi, I’ll have the [popular item on our menu].”

Me: *in my customer service voice* “Yeah, of course. Will it be for here or to go?” 

Customer: *gives me a look and laughs condescendingly* “I’ll tell you after I’m done with my order, okay?” 

(He’s ALREADY treating me like I know absolutely nothing about the place I work at.)

Me: *still smiling* “Sorry, sir. But I just need to know so I can put your food in the system properly for our cooks to prepare.” 

Customer: *now angry* “I said I’ll tell you at the end.” 

(He went on to order his and his wife’s whole meal, including a bunch of modifications I couldn’t possibly remember without typing it into the system. When he finally finished, I went, “Great! Will that be for here or to go?” He told me his answer and then, of course, I asked him to repeat the whole order because I couldn’t take any of it down until he told me how to prepare his food. He was very mad, but still repeated his order. They got their food perfectly made and delivered out to them in a short amount of time because sometimes you just have to smile through the angry old people.)

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Unfiltered Story #168452

, , | Unfiltered | September 29, 2019

(I work for a popular cell phone company and I deal with post paid accounts and we have another department for prepaid.)

Me: Thank you for calling [Company name], may I have your first and last name please?

Customer: (sweetly) My name is [name] and how are you today?

Me: I’m doing great and you?

Customer: Well, I’m about to ruin that cause I’m pissed. My boyfriend just put minutes on my card and it says I don’t have any f****** minutes. I’m so f****** pissed.

Me: Wow. I’m so sorry. But are you on prepaid?

Customer: Yes and you mother f****** keep telling me I have no minutes.

Me: I’m so sorry again. But I work in post pay I have to get you to prepaid to get this resolved. Let me get you to prepaid to get this taken care of right away.

(Now because I’ve kept my cool this is clearly agitating her and she feels like she needs to be meaner.)

Customer: Hold up! Take this number down because if you hang up on me, I’m gonna go Madea on your ass. My sister has 5 lines with you all and I will personally tell everyone how s***** [Company name] is! Cause I am pissed!

Me: (even nicer) Oh of course! I’m so sorry.
(She gives me the call back number) One moment, ma’am.
(I transfer her but I warn the prepaid rep about her before and he basically said he didn’t see a payment so her boyfriend probably lied to her. I surely hope she didn’t go Madea on his a**.)