We have a new coworker who just defended his dissertation, so he is now officially a PhD. I ask him his favorite cake and he says tres leche, so I end up ordering it at a popular discount grocery store chain known for their Mexican-leaning products. I order it for pickup at 7:30 am so I can get it on my way into the office. I have to give my phone number about six times, but I think nothing of it until I get there to pick it up and it isn’t ready!

Me: “Hi. I ordered a cake; it is under [My Name].”

Baker: “It isn’t ready.”

Me: “What do you mean, it isn’t ready?”

Baker: “I just got here at seven-thirty. It will be ready at eleven.”

Me: “Ooooookay. But I ordered it for 7:30 am.”

Baker: “I just told you I got here at seven-thirty. I can make you a cake for eleven.”

I’m thinking she doesn’t understand I have already placed an order.

Me: “I ordered it on Monday. It is under [My Name] for seven-thirty.”

Baker: *Frustrated* “I told you I got here at seven-thirty.”

This goes on a couple more times. I keep trying to figure out how the heck her getting in now has anything to do with a cake I ordered for 7:30 am. Each time, I ask a different clarifying question and get the same response. All the while, I shift from thinking that she’s assuming I am currently trying to order a cake and she just got in and needs to ask someone to thinking she’s explaining she is very late and making it my problem.

I used to work at this grocery store, and from experience, there is usually a night crew that works from 2:00 am to 6:00 am baking cakes and bagels.

Me: *Fed up* “Can I speak to a manager?”

Baker: “Fine.”

Turns out that they had tried to call me using whatever bad number they had written down to tell me my cake couldn’t be ready until 11:00 am because the baker that was supposed to be scheduled to make it the night before couldn’t come in. It would’ve been really great to know that context at any point in the conversation.

When I finally picked it up, Ms. Baker was not only rude and dismissive, even as I tried to apologize for getting heated, but she hadn’t even made the right cake! I went online afterward and found that all the one-star reviews for their store over the past month had been from the bakery and their attitude. Color me surprised.

I work for a call center for a major grocery store chain. Something I can do is make a temporary password for an account that’s a mix of numbers and both big and small letters. Most people understand when I say something such as “capital A as in ‘alpha’” or “lower case T as in ‘Tom’.” Today, I get a call regarding a password reset.

Caller: “I just got off the phone with another lady and I didn’t understand a thing she was saying about the temporary password she gave me. It made absolutely no sense.”

Me: *Thinking* “Okay, maybe she didn’t make sure she had the right letters.” *Out loud* “Not a problem. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, it was just a mix of random numbers and letters. What’s a capital?”

Despite dying inside, I try not to sound condescending.

Me: “It’s a large letter…”

Caller: “Well, can’t I just make up my own temporary password? Like a string of numbers?”

Me: “You have to use the temporary password we provide you; however, after that, you can change the password to something easier to remember.”

Caller: “Well, I don’t understand what she told me.”

Me: “I can generate a new password for you and walk you through the password reset over the phone.”

Caller: “Fine, but I don’t see why I can’t just do the numbers like what I had back when I first made my account in 1992.”

We did get her password reset. It was worse than pulling teeth. She kept asking why she couldn’t go back to like it was “before technology took over.”

I was running the self-checkout when this guy gave me the strangest look, called me by a name that was not mine, asked with a big smile if I recognized him, and then asked if he could hug me.

Normally, I wouldn’t freely hug a stranger, but I was in such shock and confusion that I just kind of stood there while he hugged me like an old pal. I’m pretty sure he was just trolling me, seeing as his friend was laughing his guts out.

After the guy left, my coworker told me that the same guy asked her if he could film inside the store. I didn’t see anyone filming, but if you ever come across a video on YouTube where a guy randomly hugs a blond-haired, wide-eyed, clueless-looking girl at the US’s largest employer… that’s probably me.

I work at a grab-and-go pizza place. Two guys come up around midnight, obviously having a good time. The first guy points to his friend.

Guy #1: “My pimp daddy is paying for my slice.”

Me: “All right. That will be [total].”

Guy #2: *Laughing* “She didn’t even blink!“

Me: “I’ve worked here for four years, through every holiday and sport event.”

Guy #1: “Fair enough.”

My grandma tells me a story that happened many, many years ago.

 As she’s browsing the aisles, she notices a woman following her and giving her a stink eye. She shrugs it off, doesn’t think much of it, and continues on.

At one point, the woman gives her such a glare that she can FEEL the line of her gaze on the logo on the front of the shirt of my grandma’s work. It’s nothing too big but the red-on-denim does stand out slightly.

Grandma: “Oh! I forgot this had a logo.”

She laughs it off, a silly mistake kind of thing.

Woman: *Snarky* “You shouldn’t be wearing the competitor’s brand here! I’ll have you fired!” *Turns and huffs off*

Grandma: “But I don’t wo— Ooookay?”

After that, she made a note to either wear a light jacket over her clothes or just go the couple extra miles out of the way to the company’s store to avoid more crazies.

Related:
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 35
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 34
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 33
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 32
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 31