Defining Moments

| NY, USA | Working | December 21, 2012

(I have just started a new job, and my coworkers and I have been tasked with signing up as many people as possible for our company’s loyalty card. I’m discussing my success, or lack thereof, with the coworker nearest me.)

Me: “Look! I got five people to sign up!”

Coworker: “Look how many I got!”

(She fans out all her slips; there’s at least a dozen.)

Me: “You got so many! You’re just very charismatic.”

Coworker: “…Does that mean like a b****?”

(She’s a wonderful person… she just could really use a dictionary!)

In Need Of Better High-ring Standards

| UK | Working | December 21, 2012

(I’m the room leader and am talking to a coworker. This happens during shift when we are in the room with the children.)

Me: “Did you have a good weekend, [coworker]?”

Coworker: “Yeah, I went out drinking with some friends last night. I was wasted!”

Me: “You were drinking last night?”

Coworker: “Yeah. I also didn’t feel like I was buzzing enough, so I mixed my alcohol with some [strong painkillers] and THEN I had a good time!”

Me: *stunned* “…And now you’re in work, responsible for other peoples’ children when there’s a chance you’re not only still drunk but high, too?!”

Coworker: “I feel fine! You worry too much.”

(I reported her that day and she was put on report. However, she handed her notice in the next week stating we were “too strict.”)

Exceeding Expecations

| Working | December 21, 2012


Just Remember That The Last Laugh Is On You

| Ohio, USA | Working | December 21, 2012

(I used to work in the kitchen at a small restaurant, and we had a stereo system where you could plug in your iPod to play music. I discovered that Coworker #1 also loves the Monty Python musical “Spamalot,” so I put on the cast recording to listen to while we cooked. Coworker #2 is famous for not having much of a sense of humor, and being a bit slow on the draw. This happened while listening to “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life”.)

Coworker #2: “What does he mean when he says, ‘the last laugh is on you?'”

Me: “He’s saying that you should try to make people happy while you’re alive, but to remember that at the end, you die.”

Coworker #2: *horrified* “That’s awful! Why is the music so happy for that?”

Coworker #1: “It’s a comedy; they’re just poking fun.”

Coworker #2: “What a terrible thing to say! Why would people ever watch this?”

(Coworker #1 and I just kind of blink at her, but she doesn’t say anything else. The next day, my manager pulls me aside.)

Manager: *to me* “[Coworker #2] has made a complaint about you and [Coworker #1]. She said that you might be a danger to customers because you think death is funny. Can you explain this?”

(Instead of explaining, I simply played the Monty Python song for me manager. After listening…)

Manager: *smiles* “Can I have a copy of the album? I love Monty Python!”

(We listened to it about once a month after that, ignoring Coworker #2 as she glowered at all of us singing along.)

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A Sad Truth

| Working | December 20, 2012

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