When Life Gives You Limes, Make Lemonade

| Boston, MA, USA | Working | August 10, 2012

(We’ve just started selling a new line of iced drinks for the summer. My usually stingy manager has been pushing hard to get sampling out, going so far as telling us to make free drinks for customers if they want to try more than one sample.)

Customer: “Hi, could I get a green tea lemonade?”

Me: “Sure thing! What size?”

Customer: “I’d like—”

Manager: “HEY THERE! Have you tried the new lime cooler yet? I bet you’d like it better than the tea! Hey [me], make one up for him, will ya?”

(The customer looks embarrassed, but seems too polite to decline a free drink. He mumbles a thank you as I set to fixing up the new drink. As soon as my manager goes into the back room, I switch ingredients and make the original order.)

Me: “Here you go, green tea lemonade. It’s on me today; I’m sorry about that. My manager’s a bit… excited about the new product. I figured you’d ask if you wanted a sample.”

Customer: *looks relieved* “Oh, thank you so much! I just didn’t know what to say to him!”

Me: “We usually just smile and nod, too.”

(The customer left me a fiver in the tip jar!)

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Danger: PMSer Approaching

| Working | August 10, 2012

Whether Sunday Or Monday, It’s Definitely Not A Fun Day

| New York, USA | Working | August 10, 2012

(Note: this happens to my friend one Monday evening.)

Friend: “I think I need replacement door hardware for the 400 series [brand].”

Employee: “Uh, what?”

Friend: “My door handle broke, and I need to get a replacement. It’s a [brand] door and the door is hanging over here, but I can’t find a replacement knob anywhere.”

Employee: “The knob broke?”

Friend: “Not the knob itself, but the internal parts. I probably need to replace the whole thing.”

Employee: “Door handles are… uh…”

Friend: “They are right over here, but I don’t see ones that are exactly like the one on this door right here.”

Employee: “Does it matter?”

Friend: “Well, the holes are already in the right place.”

Employee: “Oh yeah, makes sense.” *nodding and looking at floor*

Friend: “Is there someone else here in this department that could help?”

Employee: “No, I’m by myself on Sunday nights. You’ll have to call back Monday morning.”

Friend: “It is Monday, but I’m gathering I need to talk to the day guy.”

Employee: “No. It’s Sunday!”

Friend: “Well, I was at my office today and so were most of the other 200 people I work with, so I’m pretty sure it is Monday.”

Employee: “It’s really Monday?”

Friend: “Yes.”

Employee: “$#&%!” *hustles off*

A Knack For Detecting PEBCAK

| Chattanooga, TN, USA | Working | August 10, 2012

(I get a ticket that states that a user is not able to access their email. This particular employee works out on a factory floor, so they access their email via a webpage as opposed to email software like Outlook. I decide to call and see if we can figure it out quickly.)

Me: “Hi, this is [name] from the Help Desk. I have a ticket here that says you aren’t able to access your email.”

Employee: “That’s right. I’ve tried a hundred times, and it keeps saying that my ID or password is incorrect.”

Me: “Is the Caps Lock on?”

Employee: “Seriously? I’m not stupid. That’s typical of you IT-people. Always assuming us normal employees are stupid!”

Me: “I am not saying anything about your intellectual level. I am just going through the normal troubleshooting steps as I do with everyone. Let me remote into the machine so I can see what you are seeing.”

(Upon accessing the PC, the user is at a log-in screen with a username typed in and the password field blank.)

Me: “Okay, go ahead and try now.”

(I watch as the employee clicks “OK” without entering a password.)

Employee: “See? It didn’t work!”

Me: “You didn’t enter your password.”

Employee: “How was I supposed to know that I had to enter a password?”

Me: “The fact that there is a password box and you were getting an error message telling you that you password was wrong?”

Employee: “Smart***!” *hangs up*

Best Not To Press On With This Job

| Portland, ME, USA | Working | August 9, 2012

(I have just had my nails done and the cost is $35. I give the employee two twenties. She tries to give me a ten and a five as change.)

Me: “I thought you said it was $35?”

Employee: “Yes.”

Me: “I gave you forty.”

Employee: “Yes.”

Me: “You’re trying to give me $15 back in change.”

Employee: *confused* “Yes…”

Me: “Forty minus thirty-five is five. I gave you $40 for the nails and the tip. I don’t need any change.”

Employee: “A $15 tip? Thank you!”

Me: “Okay, let’s just stop. The cost for my nails is $35, right?”

Employee: “Right!”

Me: “And I gave you two twenties which is $40, right?”

Employee: “Right!”

Me: “Okay, so forty minus thirty-five is…?”

Employee: “Five, of course!”

Me: “Great! So my change would be $5, but I told you to keep it.”

Employee: “Yes, $15. Thank you again!”

(I am frustrated and am wondering if I should just forget about it and leave. The manager notices something is wrong and comes over to us.)

Manager: “Is there a problem?”

(I explain the whole thing to the manager.)

Manager: “No wonder our register is always short! What is wrong with you, [employee]? I have no idea if you’re playing dumb or not, but you are no longer allowed to TOUCH the register!”

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