(This is my first job. Part of my job training somehow did not include the register, so I was never properly trained. This means that if my boss, who normally does register, has to go out for a delivery, one of the cooks rings up customers instead. This time it is a rather hefty bill, the cooks have absolutely refused to help, and the customer isn’t waiting.)

Me: “Listen, at least come and show me how to do this. The customer is irate. I really shouldn’t, but you won’t help me.”

Cook: “It’s easy; just follow the buttons.”

(I go out and try to ring them up. Thankfully the customer is understanding enough when I keep messing up. I get through, take their payment, and send them on their way. I do come up short, but don’t realize it until the owner brings it to my attention.)

Owner: “You! Did you cash out that large bill?”

Me: “Yes. The cooks wouldn’t help, despite not having anything to do or being busy cooking, and [Coworker] wouldn’t answer her phone. I tried to do it. If I came up short, I’m sorry; I’m willing to pay for it at the end of the night.”

Owner: “You idiot girl! You came up $13 short! What were you doing on the register in the first place?! I told you that you are not to be on it! This is why! You’re the reason this place is going down!”

(The owner continues to berate me until I am in tears. The place has already been going down since before I started work, and she also knows I am autistic and have anxiety. She also does this in front of customers until one steps up.)

Customer: “Hey, she’s doing a good job; stop yelling at her. If anything, go yell at those cooks, if it was their job. Honestly, this girl is one of your better waitresses; at least she checks on us and smiles, and doesn’t smell like she’s been drinking on the job.”

Owner: “I-I… but she rang it up wrong!”

Customer: “And she offered to pay it up to make up the difference. Now, let her get back to her job.”

Me: “Th-thank you…”

(I was able to make more than enough to pay it up, and I did. This was just one of many times she got on my case, including letting my coworker’s friend steal my tips when I wasn’t looking. At the end, she didn’t even tell me she was closing the restaurant. I found out when my then-boyfriend — now my husband — asked if I was looking for another job. She also withheld checks for weeks. The place has been closed and a new, much better Chinese buffet has taken its place!)

(My toddler’s first word was “hiya,” and it’s probably still her favourite one. Strangers usually take her open nature very well, and I tell them that if they talk to her they’re her friends for life. Our apartment block’s ground floor consists of commercial units, so it’s a common occurrence to meet delivery drivers when leaving the car park. We are going out for a walk, and [Daughter] is in one of her make-friends-with-everybody moods.)

Daughter: *to everyone and everything* “Hiya! Hiya!”

Delivery Driver: *turns around as he’s carrying a load into the shop* “Hiya! How are you?”

Daughter: “Hiya!”

Delivery Driver: “Hiya!” *brings load inside*

Daughter: *to shop owner* “Hiya!”

Owner: *looks up* “Hello.”

Daughter: “Hiya!”

(The driver comes back out.)

Delivery Driver: “Hiya! You’re a chatty wee one, aren’t you?”

Me: “Oh, yeah. She’s friends with everyone in the world!”

Delivery Driver: “Ah, I wonder where she gets that from?”

Me: *laughing* “Me, too!”

(We keep walking, and we get to a corner at a bottleneck when a delivery truck stops.)

Delivery Driver: “Hiya!”

Daughter: *silent, but she recognises him so she smiles*

Delivery Driver: “Ahh, are we all shy, now?”

Me: “Yep, when you talk to her first, she’s quiet. She wouldn’t stop talking up until now!”

Driver: “Ah, that’s okay. Come here!” *he holds up a lollipop* “I got two of these; here you go!”

Me: “Oh, wow! Say, ‘Thank you,’ [Daughter]!”

(I lift her up to the door to take it.)

Me: “Thank you so much!”

Daughter: “Hiya!”

Driver: “Hiya! You’re a great girl! You be good for your mammy, now!”

Daughter: *waves* “Bye bye!”

(This isn’t as rare of an occurrence as you’d think; she is literally friends with everyone, and strangers often give her things. I’m hoping that I can teach her to be just as generous!)

(I’m opening boxes with my manager.)

Manager: *looks over at me* “Hey, [My Name], do you know the safety regulations for opening boxes?”

Me: “Yeah. Use a box cutter, only have as much blade revealed as needed, and cut away from yourself.”

Manager: “And you are?”

Me: “Using scissors and cutting towards myself.”

Manager: “…”

Me: “Just because I know the safety regulations doesn’t mean I’m going to follow them.”

(I am walking past the checkouts and see a few workers pointing at random customers. One points at me. I decide to investigate.)

Me: “Sorry, I couldn’t help noticing… What are you talking about?”

Coworker #1: *nervous* “Umm, we were just playing a game.”

Coworker #2: “F***, marry, kill?”

Me: “Oh, I know that.” *walks away* “Wait… Which one was I?”

Coworker #2: “Umm, f***.”

Me: “Oh!”

Coworker #2: “But I would have to get really drunk beforehand… but only because I’m gay. Not because you aren’t attractive, or anything.”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

Coworker #2: “I think I’ll just go over there and kill myself now.”

Me: “Oh, well. Nice knowing you!”

(As I walked away I heard them grilling him on why he told me. Despite it being highly inappropriate, I found it quite funny. I also was the one who asked, so I didn’t really have a right to be offended, anyway.)

(My dad is the manager of a group of people at an office. Normally, my dad keeps the door to his office open when talking to employees, but on occasion, he will close the door to have a conversation. Often, my dad’s coworker, [Coworker #1], will see someone leave his office after a closed-door meeting and jokingly say, “Well, it was nice working with you!” [Coworker #2] is unfortunately not working out at the office, so my dad has decided to let him go. [Coworker #1] has been away for the afternoon, but comes back just as [Coworker #2] steps out of my dad’s office after their fateful closed-door meeting.)

Coworker #1: “Well, it was nice working with you!”

Coworker #2: *gives him a ferocious glare*

Coworker #1: “What the h*** was that?!”

Dad: “I actually had to let him go.”

Coworker #2: *puts head in hands* “Oh, no!”