A Vacation With No End Date? Must Be Nice

, , , , | Right | February 17, 2020

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. This is [My Name]; how can I assist you today?”

Caller: “I want to book a flight to Virginia Beach for Christmas break.”

Me: “Okay, and what day would you like to leave?”

Caller: “Oh… I didn’t know you were going to ask me that… I guess I’ll have to call back.”

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When You Become A Parent, You Become The ONLY Parent

, , , , | Right | February 7, 2020

(I’m working a kiddie ride at an amusement park, and the ride is full. A little girl rushes to get on, but I stop her.)

Me: “Excuse me, sweetie. Can you wait?”

(The little girl ignores me, so I gently grab her and stop her from sprinting up the stairs. Her mother steps forward.)

Mother: “She’s only two.”

Me: “It’s all right.”

Mother: “You should be able to deal with little kids; it’s your job.”

Me: “I’m fine, miss. The ride’s just full, so I couldn’t let her on.”

Mother: “You could have told her parents.”

Me: “I don’t always know who the parents are, miss.”

Mother: “You could have looked up and seen me standing right here.”

Me: “Along with seven other parents.”

(She got all pissy and grabbed her kid and ran off.)

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They Probably Can’t Count Higher Than Five

, , , , | Right | February 5, 2020

(We have a special right now where, depending on what sandwich you order, for either $4, $5, or $6, you get a small sandwich and a drink. Secondly, you can add bacon or avocado to a sandwich for an extra charge; however, if you do that, the sandwich no longer applies to the $4, $5, or $6 deal. Some people don’t understand that. A customer comes in and orders a small turkey sandwich, which applies to the special, but adds bacon and avocado.)

Coworker: “Okay, that’s [total].”

Customer: “Why is it so expensive?!”

Coworker: “Well, you got a turkey bacon avocado; both the bacon and the avocado are $.75 extra.”

Customer: “But it should be $5 for the sub and the drink!”

Coworker: “Yes, if you got the plain turkey, but you added on the bacon and avocado.”

Customer: “I don’t understand.”

(I finally come over since it seems like my coworker is just going in circles with the customer.)

Me: “All right, so, it comes to [even higher total] because the sandwich is [total] by itself, plus the bacon and avocado which makes it [higher total], plus the drink which makes it [even higher total].”

Customer: “But I got a turkey last night with a drink and it was only $5!”

Me: “Right, but it didn’t have bacon or avocado. Those are both $.75 extra plus the drink.”

Customer: *shakes her head* “I don’t understand.”

Me: “Okay. The turkey with veggies and cheese without bacon and without avocado is [total]. If you add both of those, it becomes [higher total]. Then, if you add the drink it becomes [even higher total]. I apologize; we should have told you the additional charges for the bacon and avocado, so for tonight only, I will ring it through as a plain turkey so it will only come to $5 with the drink.”

Customer: “Okay… Wait, why is it only $5 now?”

Me: “Because this one time I’m not charging you for the bacon and avocado.”

Customer: “So… it comes to what now with the drink?”

Me: “$5.”

Customer: “Oh, okay… Thanks… I’m still confused, but thanks.”

(I ring her through and leave to take care of the growing line. My coworker goes back to the register to ring someone else through only to find the previous customer still standing there.)

Coworker: “Erm… can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah… I know it came to $5 now… but how much would it be if I added soup and chips?”

(The customer proceeded to hold up the line for another five minutes trying to decide if it was worth it to buy chips and a soup.)

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Ordering Like A Headless Chicken

, , , , | Right | February 5, 2020

(We have a family — a mother and her two girls: one teenager and one pre-teen — that comes in every week. All three of them are obnoxious, particularly the pre-teen.)

Coworker: “Okay, and what’s the next sandwich?”


Mom: “I don’t know! You order your own food!”

Pre-Teen: “Ummm… Can I get a six-inch… chicken Neapolitan?”

Coworker: “I’m sorry?”


Coworker: “We don’t have a sandwich by that name.”


Me: “Do you mean the chicken chipotle?”

Pre-Teen: “YES! THAT THING! DUH! A SIX-INCH CHICKEN CHIPOTLE! That’s what I said in the first place!”

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Customer Reactions Are A Lottery

, , , , | Right | January 9, 2020

(This occurs the night of a drawing for a large-winnings lottery. It’s the highest the payout has been in recent memory, and everyone is buying lottery tickets for it, even those who don’t normally play. All day long, I’ve gotten, “[Number of Plays] of [Game]” in response to my, “How are you?” and I’m getting sick of being seen as a lotto robot instead of a person. I get one too many customers doing this, and finally I snap.)

Me: “Hi! How are you?”

Customer: “[Game].”

Me: *irritated* “Really? That’s funny, I’m feeling pretty [Other Game] myself; thank you for not asking!”

(The customer gapes at me while the line goes quiet, and I immediately realize I’ve let my customer service go. Before I can even begin to apologize, the customer laughs.)

Customer: “I’m sorry, I deserved that. I’m fine, thank you. How are you?”

(I and the line visibly relaxed, and his transaction ran smoothly. Everyone in line after him who heard me made sure to respond to me properly and politely.)

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