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That’s A Fuphy Way To Spell It!

, , , , , , | Working | September 15, 2021

My wife and I are on vacation with my friend and his wife. After I check in, I wait by the desk while my friend checks in.

Desk Clerk: “Okay, I’ll check you in now! What name is your reservation under?”

Friend: “It’s under Stephen [Last Name]. That’s Stephen with a ‘ph’.”

Desk Clerk: “Very good, sir! One moment while I get your key card set up.”

The clerk enters everything into his computer, programs the keycard, hands him a map of the grounds, etc.

Desk Clerk: “Okay, Mr. & Mrs. [Last Name], you’re all set! Here’s your key card, a map of the hotel, and a list of restaurants and activities in the area. Hope you enjoy your stay with us! If you need anything, just call the front desk!”

Friend: “Thank you very much.”

A few days later, we were all checking out. My friend got his statement and noticed that the clerk had entered his name into the computer and spelled his first name “Pheven” [Last Name]! It’s not like his name wasn’t spelled correctly on the credit card my friend used to pay for his room!

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The Suit Fitted Twice!

, , , , | Right | August 10, 2021

I am a customer service manager at a dry cleaner. I’m on the register when a guy calls up around 9:20.

Caller: “Can you clean my suit? I just got a call for a job interview tomorrow morning!”

The name on the caller ID is a very Irish-looking name, starting with O’N***, and the phone number doesn’t belong to any existing customer accounts.

Me: “No problem. If you can get it here by 9:45, we’ll have it ready this afternoon.”

Caller: “I’m a ways out, but my GPS says I should be able to get there by ten. Could you still do it?”

Me: “That wouldn’t be a problem. They start the final load of same-day rush orders around ten; I’ll just have them hold off a bit to make sure your suit gets cleaned in time.”

At 9:50, he calls back to say that the traffic is heavier than expected, and he is still about twenty minutes away. I tell him not to worry; we’ll still hold the machines for him. I then tell the plant manager out back that the customer is running a bit late, and she says to let her know as soon as the suit comes in so they can start the load.

At 10:05, a guy comes in with a suit.

Customer: “I have a job interview, and I need my suit done for tonight!”

Me: “Are you the guy who called ahead?”

Customer: “Yes. I’ve never been here before.”

No problem. I create a new customer account, but the name he gives looks Spanish. I don’t notice that the phone number is different, too. I have only spoken to one person on the phone who needed something rushed, but sometimes the caller ID gives the name of the previous person who had that number. I didn’t actually ask for the customer’s name over the phone.

After I make the tickets, I give him his copy and comment:

Me: “Funny thing, the name on the caller ID was O’N***. Must have been the name of the guy who had your number before you.”

Customer: “No, that’s actually my dad’s name.”

This seems a bit odd to me, but I figure maybe he’s adopted or has his mother’s last name.

I tell him to have a nice day, and then I bring the suit to the crew out back and tell them that this is the suit we’ve been waiting on. They start the machines, and I return to the register.

Ten minutes later, a red-headed guy comes rushing in with a suit.

Caller: “Thank you so much for holding the machines. I’m new to the area and didn’t know how bad the traffic got. I really want to make sure I look good for the interview tomorrow!”

My heart sinks.

Me: “Oh, are you Mr. O’N***?” 

Caller: “Yeah, how’d you know?”

Me: “That was the name on the caller ID. I’ll be right back.”

I had to go tell the crew and the plant manager that the real suit we were waiting on just came through the doors. 

It was too late to stop the load to add another suit in. We had to run an extra load to get them cleaned as promised, and it put our schedule back a bit for the day. 

The previous guy probably figured it was a harmless white lie to say he had called in when he hadn’t, or maybe he thought we’d say no if he was honest, since it was past our advertised cut-off time for same-day service. If he had been honest, he still could have gotten his suit cleaned on a rush since we were already holding the machines for someone else. Why he went as far as claiming O’N*** was his dad’s name is completely beyond me.

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Power’s Out, Brain’s Out

, , , , | Right | January 22, 2021

I am the opening manager at a car wash, convenience store, and gas station. A well-forecasted, major windstorm knocks out power ninety minutes after opening. I stay on in case power comes back. I place signs and cones where they can be seen, but all my electric doors are up. Here are a few of the highlights from yesterday and today.

A customer goes up to the pump.

Customer #1: “Why won’t my card go through?”

Me: “Our electricity is out; we can’t sell gas.”

Customer #1: “But I’m on empty! What do I do?”

Me: “I’m told that [Station] across the river is operating.”

Customer #1: “But they make you pump your own there.”

Me: “Well, sorry, I can’t help.”

Later, another customer walks into the dark, silent store.

Customer #2: “You take credit cards, right?”

Me: “Not without power, we don’t.”

Customer #2: “Oh, your power’s out, too?”

I kept count; fourteen times yesterday I was asked if the power was out.

What is going to happen when some weapon attack or act of nature knocks the whole country or world offline?

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In For A Penny, In For A Whole Bunch Of Pennies

, , , , , , | Working | January 15, 2021

About twenty years ago, when I was in high school, I worked after school at a drugstore chain. One of the shift supervisors was a real jerk. He made the girls who worked there very uncomfortable and was all around just a bully.

One day, he decided to sneak up behind me and dump some cologne on me that was marked to be thrown away. I absolutely reeked for the rest of my shift. I was furious. I have a sensitive nose and I was miserable. He thought it was hilarious.

I got my revenge when I left for the night.

Earlier on in my shift, I got extra rolls of change for my register in case I needed them. It was pretty quiet so I didn’t end up needing them. I worked until close, and it was the supervisor’s job to count the register; I was scheduled to be off as soon as the store closed.

Just before leaving, I opened and dumped out every single roll of coins in my register. The spaces for the coins were completely full. My supervisor had to count it all out before he could go home for the night.

He never messed with me again. He couldn’t do anything to me because then it would come out that he’d dumped the cologne on me. And technically, I didn’t break any rules.

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This Bank Is So Cancelled

, , , , , , | Working | January 5, 2021

I am a female in my twenties. I am on my bank mobile app reviewing purchases and withdrawals from the last few months when I notice a couple of charges on my debit card that I don’t recognize. After determining that they came from two online stores that I have never visited, I decide that I should cancel the card and get a new one issued. The charges only total about $6, but I know thieves will sometimes test a card with a small purchase to see if it works before making a larger one.

I drive to the bank and ask the teller about how to get a new card, and they direct me to a specific manager’s office.

Me: “Hello, I was told you could help me get a new debit card issued. There have been some fraudulent charges on—”

Manager: *Interrupting me* “Are you sure they were fraudulent?”

Me: *Pauses* “Yes? I reviewed where the charges came from and I don’t recognize them.”

Manager: “You must just not remember. Happens all the time. I’m sure you went on a shopping spree with your friends and forgot about something that you bought.”

I am definitely not the type of person to go on random “shopping sprees” with my friends nor forget what I purchased, and it irks me that she is stereotyping me in this way, but I try to remain calm.

Me: “Um, no. These charges came from online stores that I have never even heard of. If you bring up my checking account, I can show you. One was on [date] and another was on [date].”

Manager: “We can’t refund those. We can only refund you if the purchase was made less than thirty days ago. If you really thought someone was using your card, you should have come in sooner.”

Me: “I understand that. The charges were only about $6 and I didn’t notice them until very recently, so if I can’t get reimbursed that is fine. I just want to cancel this card and get a new one.”

Manager: “It’s gonna be a long process to get a new one, you know. You won’t have a debit card for several weeks until the new one comes in. Are you sure you didn’t just forget you bought something? This is going to be a lot of trouble over only $6.”

Me: “Yes, I am positive. I have other credit cards I can use, or cash. It’s not about the $6. I do not want more, larger fraudulent charges showing up on my bank account, so I would like a new debit card.”

She eyes me for a moment longer, as if waiting for me to realize I’m making a huge mistake.

Manager: “Fine, I will cancel your card and order a replacement. Your new card will be mailed to you.”

I eventually received and activated my new card without any issue, and I thought this was the end of it, until about a year later. I received a parcel in the mail from my bank, and I was surprised to find it contained another debit card… with my old card number and an updated expiration date. The card, it seems, was never cancelled, so I’ve apparently had two open debit cards attached to my bank account for over a year. Luckily, it doesn’t appear that any more fraudulent charges were made, but I will be calling my bank tomorrow and demanding to speak to anyone ELSE who can cancel my old card.

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