A Knack For Detecting PEBCAK

| Chattanooga, TN, USA | Working | August 10, 2012

(I get a ticket that states that a user is not able to access their email. This particular employee works out on a factory floor, so they access their email via a webpage as opposed to email software like Outlook. I decide to call and see if we can figure it out quickly.)

Me: “Hi, this is [name] from the Help Desk. I have a ticket here that says you aren’t able to access your email.”

Employee: “That’s right. I’ve tried a hundred times, and it keeps saying that my ID or password is incorrect.”

Me: “Is the Caps Lock on?”

Employee: “Seriously? I’m not stupid. That’s typical of you IT-people. Always assuming us normal employees are stupid!”

Me: “I am not saying anything about your intellectual level. I am just going through the normal troubleshooting steps as I do with everyone. Let me remote into the machine so I can see what you are seeing.”

(Upon accessing the PC, the user is at a log-in screen with a username typed in and the password field blank.)

Me: “Okay, go ahead and try now.”

(I watch as the employee clicks “OK” without entering a password.)

Employee: “See? It didn’t work!”

Me: “You didn’t enter your password.”

Employee: “How was I supposed to know that I had to enter a password?”

Me: “The fact that there is a password box and you were getting an error message telling you that you password was wrong?”

Employee: “Smart***!” *hangs up*

Best Not To Press On With This Job

| Portland, ME, USA | Working | August 9, 2012

(I have just had my nails done and the cost is $35. I give the employee two twenties. She tries to give me a ten and a five as change.)

Me: “I thought you said it was $35?”

Employee: “Yes.”

Me: “I gave you forty.”

Employee: “Yes.”

Me: “You’re trying to give me $15 back in change.”

Employee: *confused* “Yes…”

Me: “Forty minus thirty-five is five. I gave you $40 for the nails and the tip. I don’t need any change.”

Employee: “A $15 tip? Thank you!”

Me: “Okay, let’s just stop. The cost for my nails is $35, right?”

Employee: “Right!”

Me: “And I gave you two twenties which is $40, right?”

Employee: “Right!”

Me: “Okay, so forty minus thirty-five is…?”

Employee: “Five, of course!”

Me: “Great! So my change would be $5, but I told you to keep it.”

Employee: “Yes, $15. Thank you again!”

(I am frustrated and am wondering if I should just forget about it and leave. The manager notices something is wrong and comes over to us.)

Manager: “Is there a problem?”

(I explain the whole thing to the manager.)

Manager: “No wonder our register is always short! What is wrong with you, [employee]? I have no idea if you’re playing dumb or not, but you are no longer allowed to TOUCH the register!”

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A Serial Ponderer

| Canada | Working | August 9, 2012

(This occurs during a shift in which a fellow coworker keeps pointing out whenever I think aloud, and makes an issue out of it by questioning my sanity.)

Coworker: *completely serious* “So, have you ever killed someone?”

Me: “No! Why would you even ask that?”

Coworker: “I thought I might catch you off guard!”

Have A Nice Flight

| Working | August 9, 2012


Via.

‘Tis Better To Have Delivered And Lost Than To Never Have Delivered At All

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Working | August 9, 2012

(I order some pizzas from a well-known pizza chain. The guy who delivers my pizza seems friendly enough, although his attitude is less than professional.)

Delivery Guy: “Here you go dude: three large pizzas and an order of garlic breadsticks. Your total comes to [price].”

(I hand over some cash to the delivery guy.)

Me: “Alright, here you go, and a little extra for your efforts.”

Delivery Guy: “Thanks, bro. Sorry I couldn’t arrive sooner though. The directions to your house were f***ing difficult. I had made a wrong turn at some point, and I was like ‘Aw, s***!’ Wasn’t very pleasant at all!”

(I am a little taken aback by this. Not because of his choice of words, but because I live less than four miles away from the pizza place.)

Me: “Yeah, don’t sweat it. Drive safely now.”

Delivery Guy: “Thanks, pal!”

(I bring my pizzas inside and eat them with my family. Not more than 10 minutes later, I receive a phone call.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Yo, this is [name] from [pizza chain] calling. I’m having a hard time finding your house. Could you possibly give me directions?”

(I recognize the voice. It is the same delivery guy who just delivered my pizzas.)

Me: “Dude, you already delivered my pizzas.”

Caller: “The h*** you on about? I have your pizza right here with me!”

Me: “You should probably double-check the address you’re looking for. ‘Cause believe me, I have three piping hot pizzas right in front of me right now.”

Caller: “Really? F***! Never mind, dude!” *click*

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