Castration Frustration

, , , , | Romantic | March 22, 2018

(My husband has a YouTube playlist running, and the current song is by a singer with a surprisingly high vocal range. At this point, Ireland and Britain are in for a few days of serious snow and minus zero temperatures.)

Husband: “You know, if he didn’t have a wife and child, I’d say he was castrated.”

Me: “What does being castrated have to do with having a wife?”

Husband: *to daughter, pointing out the window* “Look! Snow!”

Me: “Nice deflection, dear.”

(It was snowing, but the timing was perfect…)

Pumping Mad

, , , , | Friendly | February 19, 2018

(I arrive at the petrol station to fill up my tank. There are three cars ahead of me, including two who are already at the pumps. When the cars leave, the car ahead of me moves forward, but instead of moving to the first pump so I can go to the second one, the driver stops at the second, essentially leaving the pump in front of her unoccupied and me stuck behind her unable to access it. I wave at her when she exits her car and politely ask:)

Me: “Hi, would you mind moving your car forward, so I can use this pump and you can use the other?”

Woman: “No, I won’t be long. And you can just go around the station and reverse to the first pump, if you’re in a rush.”

(She then turned her back to me and started pumping petrol. I was pretty annoyed, as she would just have needed to move her car forward a few meters so we could both pump, instead of me having to reverse, drive around the station, and then reverse again to access the first pump because of the one-way system in place. I was in no rush, but I decided to do exactly what she advised, because she obviously did not think it through. I went around the station and parked in front of her, effectively blocking her exit, and started taking my sweet time pumping. I could see her waiting for me to finish, so she could exit. Once I was done, I slowly walked toward the station to pay. There was a queue at checkout. I could see that lady through the windows, growing impatient because she couldn’t leave. In the end, she decided to awkwardly reverse and drive all around the station to be able to exit it. That may have been petty of me, but I have no regrets. Maybe next time, she’ll consider the people behind her.)

They Are Totally Out Of Order

, , , , , | Working | February 15, 2018

(My boyfriend and I are at a café waiting for my sister. The waitress comes and gives us menus. We take some minutes to choose and are ready to order.)

Waitress #1: “Hello! Are you ready to order?”

Me: “Yes! I’m interested in a cappuccino, but do you have any plant-based milks available?”

Waitress #1: “Yes, we do; we have soy, almond, and oat milk.”

Me: “Oh, that’s great! We’ll have two cappuccinos with almond milk, a salad, and a [Meal].”

Waitress #1: “Great. I’ll be right back with the drinks.”

(A couple of minutes later she returns with our drinks. We enjoy the coffee and chat. About half an hour later, my sister arrives and joins us. [Waitress #2] takes my sister’s order. We tell her we have already ordered. All seems well. My sister gets her food, even though we ordered about half an hour prior to her. I start to notice that most of the customers who came after us are eating their food already. I go to the register to address the concern.)

Me: “Hey. I’m sorry, but we ordered about an hour ago and still haven’t gotten our food. Unfortunately, I don’t have much time left.”

Waitress #1: “It’s very busy, and there’s a waiting time of about an hour. The cooks are already preparing your meal; it should be out soon. I can tell the cooks to hurry up.”

Me: “Oh, all right. Thank you!”

(I ordered a salad that doesn’t need much preparing time. Later the waitress comes to our table.)

Waitress #1: “So, the kitchen doesn’t have your order. Who took your order?”

Me: *baffled at this point* “You were the one that took our order.”

(She shows me her notebook at a random page.)

Waitress #1: “See? There’s no order! You didn’t order. What did you order?”

Me: “Two cappuccinos, a salad, and a [Meal].”

Waitress #1: “I’ll be right back with your cappuccinos.”

Me: “No, you already brought us our cappuccinos an hour ago. Look: I’d just like to pay for the coffee and leave.”

(Just to be sure, I went to the cashier to pay. I’ve never in my life had a waitress show me her notebook. She never did apologize for that situation. Later I realised I could’ve just left without paying anything, since I “never placed an order.”)

Villain Blows, And Also Sucks

, , , | Friendly | January 17, 2018

(We are watching a local pantomime. For those who don’t know the genre, it is a comedy play geared towards children and families with lots of audience participation. This one is a parody of a popular sci-fi franchise. The villain has just proclaimed their evil plan to blow up the world, to the heroes, who are in shocked silence…)

Child In Audience: “YOU SUCK!”

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 27

, , , , | Right | January 10, 2018

(I work at a one-hour-turnaround personalised gifts store. It’s closing time and all the computers and lights are turned off, but the shutter is still open. A customer rushes in, anyway.)

Customer: “Are you closed?”

Me: “Yes, but we can take your order for tomorrow.”

Customer: “For tomorrow? But you do things in one hour!”



Not Very Closed Minded, Part 26

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 25

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 24

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