It’s Not Us Or The Banks, It’s Just You

, , , , | Right | October 14, 2019

I’m working one afternoon on the checkouts, during a day when [Bank] debit cards are refusing to work on our registers. I learn later on in the day it’s a widespread issue, affecting multiple stores, but never do learn whether it was nationwide or just a few stores. Odd thing is, the cards work when withdrawing cash from ATMs, but transactions at registers are declined. 

Anyway, I get a customer who just flips out. The lady before her is polite enough, even with this situation. Polite Lady makes two further trips during her transaction: first to bring her total up enough to qualify for our voucher scheme and then to run to the ATM when her card is declined. Polite Lady is no hassle and understands it is not our fault. I help pack, and eventually, Polite Lady pays and is sent on her merry way. 

I eventually come to serve Not Polite Lady (NPL). She is understandably annoyed, but overall, she hasn’t had to wait too long, unlike some other times I remember. She is very bad-tempered. She at first asks me the total of her first three items, which are a magazine, a carton of milk, and something else. I give her the total, then I proceed to scan the rest of her items, and her total is about 60 euro.

She tells me that she is annoyed and frustrated and that her card had better work. I inform her about the card problem, which she knew about beforehand anyway, having witnessed what I said to Polite Lady. She refuses to even try the ATM, and lo and behold… her card is declined. 

She then tells me she only wants to pay for her initial three items, to which I agree, of course. It’s up to her what she buys. I inform her that I’ll have to scan her products again, in order to void them back out, and she says she doesn’t care what I have to do. There is a little bit of confusion on my part, as I’m not 100% sure if she wants me to void out all of her milk — she has four cartons — or she wants to keep the one. I mention this, and she gets so frustrated that she just says she’s not going to take anything and says that all the stores have done this to her, mentioning a couple of our competitors. From her language, it almost sounds like she thinks there’s some sort of conspiracy to deny her the ability to buy her groceries. She just storms out of the store empty-handed. 

The next customer says I have the patience of a saint.

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Unfiltered Story #169555

, | Unfiltered | October 10, 2019

(I work part-time, and in my spare time I do a lot of sewing. A year ago, I made some plushies based on a cute game to display in the shop. This happens on a day that I’m not working.)

Customer: “What are those on the shelf?”
Coworker: “Oh, one of the staff made those, they’re from a game.”
Customer: “Can I see it for a moment?”
My coworker hands over the plushie.
Customer: *looks intently at it* “Wow, the stitching is really good on this.” *pauses*
Customer: “I don’t mean to be rude to you or anything, but if she can make stuff like this, why the f**k is she working here?”

Certainly made my day when I heard that!

That’s Cardly A Reasonable Request

, , , | Right | October 2, 2019

Me: “Good evening. You’re through to [Bank] Customer Services. How can I help?”

Customer: “Hi. I lost my debit card and was wondering if you can help.”

Me: “Okay. Can I just take your name, account number, and [security information] to verify you?”

Customer: “Yep, that’s [details].”

Me: “Thank you. Looking at your account, I can see a note here from [Branch]. They found your card in one of the ATM machines and it’s available for collection at the Customer Services desk when the branch is next open.”

Customer: “Great. I’ll collect it tomorrow.”

Me: “Well, as tomorrow is Saturday, the branch is closed for the weekend. Also, as Monday is a bank holiday, the branch won’t be open again until Tuesday morning at nine am.”

Customer: “But I really need my card. Can’t someone just go into the branch tomorrow and wait for me to come get my card?”

Me: “I’m afraid not. The branch cannot be opened outside of normal working hours.”

Customer: “I want to go drinking with my friends over the weekend. I need money.”

Me: “We can arrange for you to withdraw funds at an ATM without needing your card. Would you like me to organise that now?”

Customer: “No, I want my card. I don’t understand why someone can’t just wait in the branch for me.”

Me: “To be clear, you want someone to go into the branch, on their day off, and wait indefinitely for you to collect your card, all without pay?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “But I need my card!”

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Animatedly Enthusiastic  

, , , , | Right | September 8, 2019

(My husband and I are checking in our one suitcase at the airport. The airline of our flight has multiple “DIY check-in stations” and several employees walking around to assist. The QR code that needs to be scanned is on my husband’s phone. He sticks the phone inside a hole in the station that clearly has some laser-scanning action going on inside, but nothing happens. An employee is already stepping up to help us out as I point out the animation playing on the screen on the station to my husband.)

Me: “You have to point the screen downward to scan, not upward. See?”

Husband: “Ah, d***, and it was so obviously pointed out right in front of me. I feel like an idiot.”

(He flips his phone around and the machine beeps.)

Employee: “Ah, sir, you need to– Oh.”

Me: “Sorry for not paying attention to the animation right away.”

Employee: “I… I have been working here for five years and I have never seen someone pay attention to the animation. You are the first to do it right without any assistance!”

Me: “Wow, that sounds… terribly frustrating. The animation is so obvious!” 

Husband: “Thanks for the assistance, anyway!”

Employee: “You are most welcome!”

(The employee turns around to help out someone else while the machine prints the label we need to stick around the handle of the suitcase. I take it and see that there are directions printed on the backside: instead of peeling off a sheet to make the ends stick together, the label will stick all on its own according to the two drawings. NOTHING on the ends seems sticky but I trust that the drawings are correct, so I stick the label through the handle and press both ends together. By magic, they stick like glue immediately. A second employee steps up to help halfway through my actions.)

Employee #2: “Ma’am, you need to… oh…”

(I have not seen a woman so baffled, impressed, and hopeful for humanity all at once. I cannot help but think that they talked about “this crazy couple that did everything by themselves at the DIY station” at their coffee break!)

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Unfiltered Story #162044

, , , | Unfiltered | September 5, 2019

It was around the time of the release of the second Blair Witch Project movie and there were big promotional posters in the cinema lobby. I overheard this conversation between patrons:

Patron #1: So was the Blair Witch Project real or not?
Patron #2: Of course it wasn’t, don’t be stupid, they faked it.
Patron #3: No, it was real! Look (gestures to Blair Witch 2 poster), they made another one!

I guess only true stories get sequels!