Unfiltered Story #117811

| Unfiltered | August 3, 2018

(I live in the country and don’t have many close neighbours. However I do have a neighbour whose house is built almost 500m from my house so I can’t see or hear them. However their driveway goes around the border of my house on the left and back and is only about 20m from my property boundary at times. New neighbours recently moved in and one day their children are playing on their driveway directly opposite my bedroom window. My bedroom window is open and, as I’m standing near it, I drop and smash a bottle and curse loudly. A few minutes later my doorbell rings.)

Me: “Hi.”
Woman: “Yeah, I’m [name] and I’ve just moved in next door.”
Me: “Great to meet you! I’m [name]. How are you settling in?”
Woman: “Everything was great until just now. I don’t appreciate you cursing in front of my children?”
Me: “I haven’t been near your children?”
Woman: “My children are playing in the garden and they heard you curse just now. I do not allow anyone to curse in front of my children and I am asking you to apologise and not do it again.”
Me: “So you want to me to apologise for something I did on my private property?”
Woman: “Yes please”
Me: “Well at least you said please. While you’re here, I was trying to nap just now and your children playing outside kept me awake. I don’t allow anyone to interrupt my naps. Can you please ask your children not to play near my house in future?”
Woman: “No way! You can’t tell my children where to play in their garden.”
Me: “Exactly, just like you can’t tell me how to speak in my own house. Goodbye.”

(And then I shut the door in her face. We never spoke again.)

Might Actually Be Worth Getting Whooping Cough, Instead

, , , , | Healthy | July 27, 2018

(I’m midway through my pregnancy and have been putting off getting the whooping cough vaccine, so I call my doctor to schedule an appointment.)

Me: “Hi. I was wondering if I could book an appointment for the whooping cough vaccination?”

Receptionist: “What’s your name and date of birth?”

Me: “That’s [My Name] and [date].”

Receptionist: “It says here you’re 22 weeks.”

Me: “Yep.”

Receptionist: “Then, no, you can’t have an appointment.”

Me: “Um, right. Is there any reason why not?”

Receptionist: “The vaccine is only available from 26 weeks.”

Me: “Oh, right. I thought [Doctor] said I could get it from 16 weeks. I must have misheard. It’s okay, though, I can wait another four weeks.”

Receptionist: “Let me check with the doctor. Hold the line.”

(Pause.)

Receptionist: *sarcastically* “Well, I guess the doctor just knows more than me, huh? Clearly I’m just a receptionist, so I wouldn’t know anything. Apparently you can get it from 16 weeks.”

Me: “So, can I book an appointment?”

Receptionist: “At 11 on Monday.”

Me: “That’s perfect. Thank you.”

Receptionist: “The vaccine isn’t free, you know.”

(Most health care is free while pregnant in Ireland, but things like vaccines aren’t.)

Me: “Yep, that’s fine. I have no issue paying.”

Receptionist: “Good, because you have to pay. You’re not getting it free.”

Me: “I know.”

Receptionist: “Because it’s not free. You have to pay.”

Me: *Pause* “Is there anything else you need from me?”

Receptionist: “No, but when you come in for the appointment you have to pay.”

Me: “Okay, bye now.”

 

An Important Part Of Their Development

, , , | Related | July 27, 2018

(Like most toddlers, my daughter loves playing with keys. I usually try to deter her from taking my husband’s set — which includes his work keys and parking fob — too far away, by telling her they’re important. She has gotten some new toys from a relative while being babysat at my sister-in-law’s house. One of the toys is a plastic car key with a fake button fob.)

Daughter: “Where’s key?”

Sister-In-Law: “I don’t know; I think it was over there a little while ago.”

Daughter: “It’s important! “

(She then walked out of the room, repeating that it was important. Well played, little parrot.)

 

Daylight Saving The Classics

, , , | Right | July 18, 2018

(I am the customer in this story. This takes place just after Daylight Savings Time goes into effect in Europe. I walk into a store and see the store owner awkwardly balanced on a chair, adjusting a clock that is mounted on a high shelf.)

Me: *singing* “Oh, the times, they are a-changin’!”

(I couldn’t help it, but at least she laughed.)

Swear Goes The Neighborhood

, , , | Friendly | July 10, 2018

(I live in the country and don’t have many close neighbours. I do have a neighbour whose house is built almost 500 metres from my house so I can’t see or hear them. However, their driveway goes around the border of my house on the left and back, and is only about 20 metres from my property boundary at times. New neighbours recently moved in, and one day their children are playing on their driveway directly opposite my bedroom window. My bedroom window is open and, as I’m standing near it, I drop and smash a bottle and curse loudly. A few minutes later my doorbell rings.)

Me: “Hi.”

Woman: “Yeah, I’m [Woman] and I’ve just moved in next door.”

Me: “Great to meet you! I’m [My Name]. How are you settling in?”

Woman: “Everything was great until just now. I don’t appreciate you cursing in front of my children?”

Me: “I haven’t been near your children.”

Woman: “My children are playing in the garden, and they heard you curse just now. I do not allow anyone to curse in front of my children, and I am asking you to apologise and not do it again.”

Me: “So, you want to me to apologise for something I did on my private property?”

Woman: “Yes, please.”

Me: “Well, at least you said, ‘please.’ While you’re here: I was trying to nap just now, and your children playing outside kept me awake. I don’t allow anyone to interrupt my naps. Can you please ask your children not to play near my house in future?”

Woman: “No way! You can’t tell my children where to play in their garden.”

Me: “Exactly. Just like you can’t tell me how to speak in my own house. Goodbye.”

(And then I shut the door in her face. We never spoke again.)


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