(I have just finished paying and am waiting on my change. The cashier closes the register, though, and says goodbye.)

Me: “My change?”

Cashier: “What?”

Me: “My change. You haven’t given it to me.”

Cashier: “Oops, sorry about that.”

(She doesn’t do anything.)

Me: “Could you give it to me, then, please?”

Cashier: “No, that’s not my problem.”

Me: “I think it is. You haven’t given me my money back. If you aren’t willing to fix it, could you call someone over?”

Cashier: “I can call my manager, but he will just tell you the same.”

(She calls him over and explains. The manager face-palms, opens the drawer, and gives me my change.)

Cashier: *blushing* “But you said when the drawer was closed it wasn’t my problem anymore!”

Manager: “No, I said it isn’t a problem if you need to open the drawer. You can either ask me or a head cashier.” *to me* “I am so sorry about this, miss. She’s new. Ha, the youth of today, eh?”

(I mock-laughed with him while giving a cashier a sympathetic look, and saying it really wasn’t that big of a deal. Honestly, though, I looked younger than her, so either she wasn’t too bright or she genuinely misunderstood. Either way, further instruction would have fixed the problem rather than humiliating her.)

(I’m looking for a new job and I have made several applications in a job portal. Most jobs available are put up by companies hiring through recruitment agencies for anonymity. I receive several calls and in them, I explain that I am currently working and need some time to arrange for leave to go for interviews. Most recruiters understand this and give me sufficient time to arrange for leave. One recruiter, however, does not.)

Recruiter: “Hi, [My Name], congratulations! My client wants to see you tomorrow morning for an interview. Can I put you in for 11:00 am?”

Me: “[Recruiter], I’ve mentioned that I need time to arrange for leave or time off. It is now 5:55 pm and I’m off work in five minutes. My boss will never agree to let me take leave tomorrow morning.”

Recruiter: “What about 2:30 pm? I can tell the client that you’ll be in at 2:30 pm.”

Me: “[Recruiter], I can’t do that, either. My boss has a meeting in the morning and will only come in in the afternoon. I need to update him on all the ongoing projects.”

(While I am on my way home, the recruiter calls again.)

Recruiter: “[My Name], the client has specially opened another interview day for you the day after. Can you make it?”

(I check in the morning and manage to get permission for a half-day off. I receive a text from the recruiter one hour before the interview is scheduled, when I am halfway out the door.)

Recruiter: “I’m sorry, but the interviewer is down with fever. Today’s interview is cancelled. We will let you know when another interview can be scheduled.”

Me: “Noted; however, next week is not possible as my boss will be away the second half of the week, which means that I have to clear everything before he leaves. I’ve some submissions due by the end of the week, but I only have half the week to complete them, so my time is quite tight. When my boss is not around, he expects me to be in the office to hold the fort, so I cannot take leave then.”

Recruiter: “Noted.”

Me: “If the following week is too late for your client, then thanks for forwarding my resume to them for their consideration.”

(The following Monday…)

Recruiter: “[My Name], my client still wants to see you. Can you come down tomorrow? Any time you want.”

Me: “[Recruiter], I’ve already said that I cannot make it this week. If your client wants to see me, they have to wait until next week.”

Recruiter: “What about Wednesday?”

Me: “[Recruiter], forget it, then. Thanks.”

(On Friday, the recruiter messages again.)

Recruiter: “I just wanted to update you: the client will be going with other candidates, as they are looking for someone urgently and cannot afford to wait for you.”

(I receive a call on the Monday after.)

Recruiter: “[My Name], the client still wants to meet you. Any time tomorrow will be fine.”

Me: “I thought they didn’t want to see me as they needed staff urgently and couldn’t wait for me?”

Recruiter: “Well, only one person was shortlisted for the second interview.”

Me: “I think I’ll pass on this opportunity, thanks.”

Recruiter: “But they thought you were good! They want to see you, any time, at your convenience.”

Me: “[Recruiter], as I said, I need time to arrange for leave. I’m also arranged for another interview tomorrow, and took leave in the afternoon for that. I can’t possibility extend my leave last-minute. Anyway, thank you for your time.”

Recruiter: “But can’t you go over since you’re already taking leave?”

Me: “No, I took leave for this company I’m interviewing with because they gave me ample time to make arrangements. I’m not going to decrease my chances of getting a position at that company because I’m rushing to make it for another interview that I don’t have much interest in anymore.”

Recruiter: “What? Why?”

Me: “[Recruiter], it’s not like this is the first time; every single time, you want me to drop everything and rush over. Even if the timing is at my convenience, the day itself isn’t. I have made it clear over and over again that I am currently working and need time to arrange for leave or time off. It isn’t as if I didn’t tell you and then sprung this need for time to arrange my leave at the last minute. Frankly, if this is the way they do things over there, I don’t think I’ll be happy working there when I’m already encountering so many problems before I even go for an interview.”

Recruiter: “But, but, can you at least think it over? You have my number, right? So, you can text me tomorrow.”

(Ugh. I don’t know how many times I must say no, politely, before she gives up.)

(It’s the first of December and we’re decorating. A coworker helps me untangle a string of lights and I plug them in.)

Coworker: “Looks like you’ve got a short; some of the colors aren’t working. Let me take a look. I know a lot about these you know.”

Me: “Do you smell burning?”

Coworker: *not paying attention* “That’s too bad. I think I found the problem. Hang on, let me pull this bulb. You know, these things are bad for overheating.”

Me: “Oh, here. This bulb is on fire.”

Coworker: “Wait, what?!” *sees the bulb I’m holding, drops the lights, and bolts out of my cubicle*

(I calmly unplugged the lights and blew out the flame. I wish I could say this was the first fire I’d dealt with at work, but it was definitely the smallest. Hardly worth fleeing in terror over.)

(I’ve been asked to cover a shift in the produce department. Since I’ve never worked produce before, I’m given pre-loaded carts and told to stock them. I’m highly allergic to bell peppers, and several peppers in the box are broken. I try to stock them anyway, but I can feel my throat starting to itch and my hands are turning red.)

Me: “Hey, [Coworker], could you possibly take over with the peppers, so I don’t die? I’ll stock those strawberries, and take that cart back when there aren’t peppers on it anymore.”

Coworker: “Okay.”

(I put out the boxes of berries and look up to see my coworker stocking squash, with full boxes of peppers still sitting on top of the cart.)

Me: “Hey, [Coworker], um… I’m happy to stock the zucchini. I really just needed your help with the peppers, because I’m allergic.”

Coworker: “You’re allergic to peppers? I thought you were just trying to get out of doing your job.”

Me: “What? No! I stocked all those berries and stuff; how is that not doing my job?”

Coworker: “You pawned this full cart off on me.”

Me: “No, I asked if you would mind just stocking the peppers. I haven’t handled them a lot because I’m allergic. I didn’t realize that just touching them could cause a reaction.” *I hold up my hands*

Coworker: “Huh, okay. You should tell someone you’re allergic. That’s a good reason; you could avoid getting fired that way.”

Me: “Fired? What? Wait, were you going to complain about me swapping with you? I asked you nicely. Also, what did you think I meant about dying?”

Coworker: “I thought you were kidding.”

Me: *speechless*

(I told the manager I couldn’t take the risk of covering in produce anymore.)

This story is part of our Food Allergies roundup!

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Read the Food Allergies roundup!

(At some point it was decided that our tech support department should also always try to upsell. It is tempting; the usual pay is horrible and a bonus is offered, but it never sat right with me. I get a call from an elderly lady. She is lovely, living alone, and obviously not at all tech-savvy, and she has a simple enquiry: A friend told her that she was supposed to have hundreds of TV channels, but she only has about 30 — the very basic channels that, in Germany, are free to watch. After only a few questions from my side the issue becomes clear; someone sold her the most expensive cable bundle in connection with a set-top box that should be connected to her TV, only she has never, ever used it. She’s just been using her TV, hooked up to digital cable, and watched the free channels. All our calls are recorded, but this lady is awesome, and I’ve had about enough, so…)

Me: “Ma’am, before we continue, let me ask you one question: Are you happy with the service as it has been so far? Would you like to watch more channels?”

Caller: “Oh, I only ever watch the news for a bit in the evening. I don’t need anything else. I was just wondering about what my friend said.”

Me: “All right. You see, in order to get more channels, you would have to use the black box, and the remote that came with it. That’s one option. The other option is that I cancel your subscription for all but the basic functions.”

Caller: “I don’t want to deal with that box. It’s useless. But I want to keep the channels I used.”

Me: “Thank you, ma’am. Here is what we’ll do: Everything on your end stays the same, but instead of your monthly fee of [about 60] Euros, we’ll lower it to [about 20] Euros.”

Caller: “You can really do that?”

Me: “In this case, yes. Also, as I’m looking at your account right now, may I ask if you have a computer or use the Internet at all?”

Caller: “No, no. I can’t be bothered with that.”

Me: “And you’re not planning on buying a computer, either, I take it.”

Caller: “No, I can’t make sense of all that stuff.”

Me: “That’s fine. In that case, I will cancel your Internet subscription as well. That brings your new monthly total down to [less than 10] Euros.”

(The call took over 20 minutes as I walked her through the cancellation process and had her write down everything we’d discussed, since she wanted her son to check her contract, and I wanted them to be able to make an informed decision. I got written up for it, but I didn’t mind. You just don’t take advantage of lovely old ladies for a measly bonus. I just wish I had found out which colleague had sold an Internet contract to someone who didn’t own a PC, laptop, or smartphone, etc.)