Content Warning: Alcoholism, Violence
My husband has struggled with alcohol for a long time. For his thirtieth birthday, we invited some friends and family over for a dinner. Before anyone got there, I quietly asked him to be careful with his drinking; he agreed.
Everyone brought something to drink — a bottle of wine, a gallon of vodka, wine coolers — and each person demanded that [Husband] drink with them. After just two hours, he was so drunk he could hardly stand. Then, he got violent, broke a kitchen chair, and punched a hole in the wall.
Suddenly, everyone had somewhere else to be, except one of my male friends. My friend called the police, who came over immediately.
Officer #1: “How much did he have to drink?”
Me: “I don’t know. Everyone else was feeding him shots and—”
Officer #2: “Were you drinking?”
Me: “I had a hard lemonade a while ago, but when he started drinking faster, I stopped.”
Officer #2: *Not believing me* “Just one? Are you sure you’re not intoxicated and overreacting?”
Me: “Breathalyze me.”
The officers did not test either of us, but they did take my husband to the hospital at my friend’s insistence.
[Husband] called the next day to ask to come home.
Husband: “I don’t know why I’m here. The nurse said you called the cops because I was drinking.”
Me: “I called because you were violent and all of your friends and family left me to deal with it. [Friend] was the only one to stay, and I’m glad he did.”
Husband: “I don’t remember them leaving. Come get me and we can talk about this.”
Me: “Come get you? I’m ready to get divorced.”
Husband: “I’m sorry. Throw away the alcohol. I’m done with it. Please.”
I debated for about an hour but decided to go get him. I dumped all the alcohol in the house and picked him up at the hospital. [Officer #1] from the night before was there.
Officer #1: “I don’t believe you called her after she did that to you.”
I didn’t say anything.
Officer #1: “No smart comments today, huh? Good choice.”
When we got home, I told [Husband] about the events of the night. Then, he showed me some videos he took on his phone while he was in the hospital. This one was the two officers, a female nurse, and a male nurse.
Officer #1: “She was probably drunker than he is. He seems fine to me.”
Officer #2: “He’s talking; he’s coherent. I don’t know what her issue was.” *Directly to my husband* “You tell your woman she’s gotta calm down, man! We got other s*** to do!”
Male Nurse: “Well, his blood alcohol is .305, so that probably has something to do with it.”
Female Nurse: “Glad you brought him in. He could have died.”
He called a couple of his friends to apologize for his behavior. Those who held him responsible are still in our lives. Those who laughed it off, blamed me directly, or agreed with the officers and said I was overreacting are no longer a part of our lives.
I spoke with the local police force about the things the officers said in the video. Unfortunately, we live in a state where everyone has to consent to being recorded, and since they didn’t consent, the video was useless.
On the plus side, my husband celebrated three years of sobriety in March of 2022.