There’s Only One Person With Behavioral Difficulties Here And It’s Not The Girl

, , , , | Right | July 21, 2021

I’m a security guard at the local market. I see a regular customer come in with his teenage daughter. Most employees and some other regulars know that the daughter has autism, and she always wears earmuffs when out in public due to her sensitive hearing.

Me: “Good morning, [Regular]. Morning, [Daughter].”

Regular: “Morning.”

The daughter just smiles and gives a small wave. They go about their shopping and I think nothing more of it.

About twenty minutes later, a loud crash comes from the back of the store. I rush over and find the regular holding his daughter, who’s currently holding her earmuffs tightly and rocking in place. Another customer is yelling his head off at the daughter. Several wine bottles are shattered on the floor.

Angry Customer: “You stupid b****! If you had taken off those f****** headphones, you’d have heard me coming around the corner!”

The regular is gently trying to soothe his daughter while talking in an even tone to the customer.

Regular: “Sir, I apologize on my daughter’s behalf for getting in your way, but I must ask that you tone it down. She’s very sensitive to loud noises, and we don’t need—”

Angry Customer: “It’s not my fault your daughter’s a [ableist slur]! Look at this f****** mess!”

I can see the regular struggling to keep his composure, and I know the only thing keeping him from decking the other customer is that he doesn’t want to aggravate his daughter any further. I quickly step in.

Me: “Okay, that’s enough. Nobody’s hurt. Sir, I suggest you continue with your shopping and please leave these two alone.”

Angry Customer: “Stay out of this, rent-a-cop! I make three times your salary! Who are you to order me around?!”

The owner arrives and sees the commotion.

Owner: “What’s going on?”

I quickly recap the situation while the angry customer continues to curse and scream, and at one point, I even have to stop him from trying to reach over and rip off her earmuffs.

Owner: *To me* “Kick his a** out now. I’m calling the police.” *Walks away*

Me: “All right, sir, time to go. You’re causing a disturbance and you’re no longer welcome here.”

Angry Customer: “Shut the f*** up! This is public property! I have a right to be wherever the f*** I want!”

Me: “Actually, this store is private property, and you’re now considered trespassing, so I suggest you leave your groceries and leave, as the police are on the way.”

Angry Customer: “F*** this place! I hope it burns down with all of you inside, especially that [ableist slur]!” *Storms away*

I check on the regular and his daughter while the janitor shows up to clean the mess.

Me: “Are you two all right? Sorry about this.”

The daughter is still rocking violently despite her father’s soothing.

Regular: “She’ll be fine, but I’d better take her home. I’m sorry. We’ll be back tomorrow.”

The police arrived fifteen minutes later and took information on the incident. They said to call again if the customer came back; fortunately, he never did.

The regular and his daughter came back the next day like he said, and thankfully, she seemed to be back to normal!

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According To My Brief Research… You’re Right

, , , , | Related | July 10, 2021

My mom and I are at the store and head into the cosmetics section so she can get a few things. I don’t wear makeup and am not interested in doing so, so I poke about while she looks over makeup shades… until something fun catches my eye.

Me: “Hey, Mom, look! Planet-themed bath bombs!”

Mom: “That’s cool.” *Goes back to browsing*

Me: “And the different planets have different scents. Venus is citrus-scented.”

Mom: “That’s cool.”

Me: “Earth is ocean-scented. And the moon is vanilla.”

Mom: “That’s cool.”

Me: *Pauses* “I would hate to find out what the Uranus bath bomb smells like.”

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Not Just A Bigot But A Stupid One At That

, , , , , | Friendly | July 4, 2021

I am a white-passing femme-presenting person. It’s winter and it’s snowing, so I’m wearing a matching knit set of gloves, beanie, and scarf. Since my hair is kind of short, I like to make sure my neck is 100% protected from the cold wind by wrapping the scarf and tucking it against the lower edge of the hat firmly, leading to it vaguely looking like one long piece of knitwear.

Some old guy is standing in the middle of campus whining about democrats, Obamacare — which isn’t even available in this state at the time — and tuition, face as red as a toddler throwing a tantrum. He’s yelling at some very disinterested-looking young people who are unfortunately waiting for the bus and are thus a captive audience.

Man: “I don’t want to pay for your college! That’s your problem! It’s not fair to make me pay for your liberal arts degree! You need to pay me!

I glance back at the sign for the dental school’s building, not twenty feet from him, which is very much not considered a liberal arts program

Me: “Sir, you’re disrupting anyone taking their pre-dental classes in that room. Please quiet down. No one cares what you think.”

Man: *Yelling* “AND WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU [ARABIC SLUR]?”

Me: “I’m a Native American. And I’m also paler than you. Maybe you should go back to your own country.”

He loses steam; he is clearly not used to being challenged by people half his size.

Man: “Uh, well! Well! The f*** do you call that dumb thing on your head?!”

I unwrap the scarf a little bit, speaking slowly to mock his intelligence.

Me: “This part is called a ‘scarf.’ The other part is a ‘hat.’”

The people waiting for the bus started laughing, causing this gigantic toddler to kick the pole for the bus sign in rage, then cuss in pain and limp away. Whenever I saw him harassing my fellow students after that, he’d put his tail between his legs and hurriedly leave like I was Satan himself.

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Some Customers Will Forever Be A Gamble

, , , , , | Right | June 11, 2021

I’m on my way back from my lunch when I notice a guest I checked into our hotel sitting at a slot machine with her child in her lap. I stop to tell her she cannot have a child on the gaming floor while she is gambling.

Guest: “That’s a bunch of BS! I asked specifically before we made our reservations and they said it was okay!”

Me: “Ma’am, no one would have told you that.”

Guest: “Then y’all need to get your act together, because I did not pay hundreds of dollars on an upgraded room to not be able to gamble! I will speak to your manager about this.”

I gave up at that point and went back to my desk to call security. I’m sure they told her to take the kid off the floor. I’m gonna find out from one of my security buddies, but man, you would think you wouldn’t want your kid to grow up with your same addictions!

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Trolls And Racists Are Usually The Same Thing

, , , , | Right | June 2, 2021

My coworker is working the front desk when the phone rings.

Coworker: “[Community] Library, this is [Coworker]; how can I help you?”

Patron: “Hi, I’m looking for books by a particular author. Do you have them?”

She gets the name of the author and searches our system, but no books by the author come up.

Patron: “Can you order them in?”

Coworker: “If they’re over a year old, we can interlibrary loan them. Let me just look up the publication dates for you.”

She goes online to look up the author… and discovers the author is some kind of white supremacist author whose books have such “charming” titles as “Kill All N*****s.” Seriously, almost every book has that slur in the title as well as some kind of violent act. Shaken but still determined to act professional, my coworker gets back on the line with the patron.

Coworker: “Okay, I’ve found the books. I don’t think we’re going to be able to order these in.”

Patron: “That’s okay. Can you read the titles out loud for me?”

Coworker: “Well… the first book is called ‘Kill All N-words’.”

Patron: “No, I want you to read out the whole title for me.”

My coworker drops professionalism and just hangs up on him. Our boss says she made the right call, but she is still frustrated and bewildered.

Coworker: “I dunno what he was even trying to accomplish! Was he recording the call and trying to get me to say something racist?”

Me: “I think you got a troll.”

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