Unfiltered Story #102206

, , , | Unfiltered | December 29, 2017

(In our restaurant there is a desk with our computer on the opposite side of the entrance. We generally greet people from this desk when they come in. Our restaurant is small, so it’s not hard to hear us from across the room).

*customers walk in*

Me: “Hello folks! Have a seat wherever you’d like.”

*Customers stand there looking like deer in the headlights*

Me: “Y’all can sit wherever you’d like.”

(They stand around a bit more. I’m not allowed to choose their seat when I work with another waitress because we have sections, so as to reduce competition between waitresses, we let the customers sit wherever).

Me: *smiling* “Have a seat folks!”

*Customers move forward, looking like they are going to sit down at a booth, so I grab menus. Instead they go up to the desk*

Customers: “So…do we order up here or sit down?”

Me: (stifling my impatience) “You are welcome to sit wherever you would like. I will be with you in just one moment.”

(This happens multiple times a day).

Creating Your Own Problems

, , , , , , | Right | December 28, 2017

(It’s very busy at our restaurant due to a one-day deal. I’ve been either the only one or one of two people on till, and we are just finishing up with the post dinner rush.)

Customer: “Hi, I was wondering what goes on the create-your-own pizza?”

Me: “You get to choose your own toppings.”

Customer: “No, I know, but what goes on it?”

Me: “Well, it has sauce and cheese, and then you get to pick what else you want on it.”

Customer: “Okay. But what—”

Customer’s Daughter: “Mom, never mind; I don’t want the pizza.”

Customer: “No, you do. We’ll get one with chicken, bacon, and olives.”

(They later demanded a refund because they wanted pasta, not a pizza.)

Directly Observing Credit Will Affect The Results

, , , , , | Right | December 28, 2017

(I work in a call center that tries to connect people with credit help. I get a customer on the phone, get through most of the scripted conversation, and give him the pitch for a credit repair company.)

Customer: “Wait, wait, wait. Are you pulling my credit?”

Me: “No, sir, I do not have authorization to do that, but [Credit Repair Company] can look at it to get a better idea of—”

Customer: *interrupting me* “No, you better not pull my credit, and they better not, either, because if you look at my credit it will bring it down.”

(This is not true, as the company only does soft pulls, not hard inquiries.)

Me: “Oh, no, sir. It won’t—”

Customer: *interrupting again* “Don’t you ‘oh, no’ me. If you look at my score, it will hurt my credit.”

Me: “No, sir, it won’t—”

Customer: “Oh, yeah? Why won’t it?”

Me: “Because, sir, [Credit Repair Company] only does soft pulls; they don’t do hard inquiries, which means it won’t show up on your credit report.”

Customer: “So, you’re guaranteeing to me, personally, that what they’re doing won’t hurt my credit?”

Me: “No, sir, they will not hurt your credit.”

Customer: “Because if they go and look at my credit and it hurts my credit, I’m going to personally sue you, and take away your house.”

(I have no idea how he thinks he might go about that, as he only has my first name and no idea where I live, and I happen to live in an apartment, so…)

Me: “No, sir, it will not hurt your credit.”

Customer: *starting to calm down* “Okay, well…”

(At this point the line went kind of fuzzy, and there was also a blip from his end that covered up what he was saying.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t quite hear that.”

Customer: “Ah. Okay, buh-bye now.” *hangs up*

A Sickening Policy

, , , , , | Working | December 27, 2017

(We’ve gotten a new administrator at the library who believes that “change for change’s sake” is good for employees and businesses, and so has implemented several policy changes for the sake of making changes. One such change is our time-off policy. Whereas beforehand, time off was dealt with on a case-by-case basis, now the policy is that every time you’re late for work or have to take time off, whether for a sickness or vacation, you get a mark on your record, and if you get three marks in one month you can’t take any more time off for the next 90 days. About a month after this policy goes into effect, I get a phone call at work. It’s a family emergency, and since this admin is the only one in that day, I have to go to him about it.)

Me: “[Admin], my mom just called. She’s having some kind of reaction and she needs me to take her to the hospital now.”

Admin: “Why doesn’t she call an ambulance?”

Me: “She’s not having trouble breathing or anything; she’s just really worried. Plus, ambulance rides are expensive, and we live so far out that I can get home and get her to the hospital in less time than the ambulance can find us. I’ll use my paid time off; I just need to go!”

Admin: “All right. We’ll cover your shift.”

(I thank him, grab my purse, and bolt for the door… only for him to follow it up with:)

Admin: “And by the way, this is another mark on your record. One more; and you won’t be able to take any time off for three months.”

(Policy or no policy, this was just the WRONG thing to say when I was already out of my mind with worry. I got my mom to the hospital, where it turns out she has Stevens-Johnson Syndrome, from which she eventually made a full recovery. When I got back to work I brought up the incident with another admin, and by sheer coincidence the policy was dropped within a week.)

Balls To Walls Humor

, , , , , | Learning | December 25, 2017

Because I grew up in a small town, our town’s library was located inside the high school for several years. This meant that not only did the library carry children’s and more casual-reading books alongside school curriculum and teen/YA books, but that the computer lab was open to the general public as well as students. Unfortunately, this also meant that teen pranks in the library affected the entire community, not just the school.

At one point during my senior year, just before the library finally got funding to build its own building, it was discovered that some joker was stealing the rubber tracking balls out of the computer mice. (This was back in the day before laser computer mice were a thing.) Because this rendered a computer mouse unusable, the principal, a man with no liking for teenagers and no sense of humor whatsoever, decided to take action.

During morning announcements, after the usual announcements of upcoming events and such, the principal took the microphone and said, in completely serious voice:

“Someone is stealing mouse balls in the library. The theft of the mouse balls is a serious matter, and will NOT be tolerated. If anyone has any information on who’s stealing the mouse balls, please report it right away. And to the rest of the student body, the mouse balls are to be LEFT ALONE…”

And that’s how the entire student body ended up on the floor, nearly peeing themselves with laughter, during morning announcements. “Mouse balls” became a running gag for the rest of the school year, even working its way into the valedictorian’s speech at graduation.

The mouse ball thief was never caught.

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