Stepping Right Into Ex-Step-Dad Territory

, , , , , , | Related | May 4, 2020

I turned on Hulu and it needed the password, so I typed it in. It said my password was incorrect, so I tried it again. It was still incorrect, so I asked my mom, who pays for the service and shares it between two houses, if the password was changed. She said no. She asked my stepdad, who is an expert at this stuff, why the password wouldn’t work. He scoffed and said, “I changed it. She can pay for her own.” 

I was stunned, because he’d never done anything like this before. My mom got angry and started yelling at him, saying he had no right and she’s the one who pays for the service, etcetera. 

My stepdad finally said he’d been looking for a reason to throw me out of the house, and he thought this would do it. He was the one who wound up getting thrown out of the house. Due to this and several other recent incidents, my mom is now filing for divorce.

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The Kindness Chronicles

, , , , , , , , | Friendly | March 23, 2020

I’m sixteen. This year, I found out that my mom was cheating on my dad and they were going to get divorced. I didn’t know what to do.

A lady at my church starting doing “Car Chronicles” with me, where we meet once a week and get food and sit in her car in a parking lot. She lets me pour out my heart about everything and she gives me awesome advice.

Ever since the virus started, we haven’t been able to have “Car Chronicles” because of “social distancing,” and I have been devastated because I always look forward to being able to work through what’s going on in my family. 

Today, she texted to tell me that we are going to start FaceTiming and taking walks to talk in place of our weekly “Car Chronicles.” Her courage and willingness to continue meeting with me despite the circumstances we are all facing brighten my day.

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Divorce Over Coffee

, , , , | Right | February 27, 2020

An older couple comes into the store asking for coffee. The husband pours himself a cup without asking the price. We often get complaints about our state-inflated prices.

Me:
“That’ll be $2.50.”

Husband:
“$2.50?! This is bulls***! I’m not paying for that.”

He storms out and leaves his coffee behind. It will now have to be thrown out. His wife stays behind to apologize.

Wife:
“Don’t mind him. He always does that.”

Me:
“It’s fine.”

Wife:
“He’s such an a**hole; that’s why I’m divorcing him.”

Then, she walks out after him. 

Me:
“Enjoy your day…?”

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Cake Makes Everything Better

, , , , , , | Romantic | February 16, 2020

(I am a few months into my first “real” job. My marriage recently ended, and I am feeling very unhappy. Some but not all of my coworkers know that I am getting divorced. My birthday is coming up shortly, and I decide to throw a party to cheer myself up. What birthday party is complete without cake? So, I make a phone call.)

Me: “Hi. I’d like to order a birthday cake, please. It needs to be big enough to feed 25 to 30 people.”

Bakery Employee: “No problem. What would you like it to say?”

Me: “‘Happy Birthday, [My Name].’”

(I hang up the phone and realize that two of my coworkers are staring at me.)

Coworker #1: *smirking* You’re ordering yourself a birthday cake? That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.

Me: “Well, I want a cake for my party. You’re all invited, by the way.”

Coworker #1: “Can’t someone else order it for you? What about your husband?”

Coworker #2: *nudges [Coworker #1]*

Coworker #1: “What?”

Coworker #2: “She’s getting divorced, idiot.” *to me* “I’ll come to your party. Can I bring anything?”

Me: “Just yourself.” *smiles gratefully*

(The party ended up being a huge success. The cake was delicious! By the time everyone had left, it was 1:30 am and my house was a mess. Oh, did I say everyone had left? Not quite. [Coworker #2] stayed behind to help me clean up. And – to paraphrase a famous saying – several years later, Reader, I married him.)

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It’s Becoming A More Popular “Lifestyle Choice”

, , , | Romantic | August 6, 2019

(I’m helping a customer fill out a form and we’ve gotten to the optional “equal opportunities” section.)

Me: “May I ask your sexual orientation? Again, this question is not compulsory; you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

Customer: *whispering* “Divorced.”

 

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