The Kindness Chronicles

, , , , , , , , | Friendly | March 23, 2020

I’m sixteen. This year, I found out that my mom was cheating on my dad and they were going to get divorced. I didn’t know what to do.

A lady at my church starting doing “Car Chronicles” with me, where we meet once a week and get food and sit in her car in a parking lot. She lets me pour out my heart about everything and she gives me awesome advice.

Ever since the virus started, we haven’t been able to have “Car Chronicles” because of “social distancing,” and I have been devastated because I always look forward to being able to work through what’s going on in my family. 

Today, she texted to tell me that we are going to start FaceTiming and taking walks to talk in place of our weekly “Car Chronicles.” Her courage and willingness to continue meeting with me despite the circumstances we are all facing brighten my day.

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Divorce Over Coffee

, , , , | Right | February 27, 2020

An older couple comes into the store asking for coffee. The husband pours himself a cup without asking the price. We often get complaints about our state-inflated prices.

Me:
“That’ll be $2.50.”

Husband:
“$2.50?! This is bulls***! I’m not paying for that.”

He storms out and leaves his coffee behind. It will now have to be thrown out. His wife stays behind to apologize.

Wife:
“Don’t mind him. He always does that.”

Me:
“It’s fine.”

Wife:
“He’s such an a**hole; that’s why I’m divorcing him.”

Then, she walks out after him. 

Me:
“Enjoy your day…?”

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Cake Makes Everything Better

, , , , , , | Romantic | February 16, 2020

(I am a few months into my first “real” job. My marriage recently ended, and I am feeling very unhappy. Some but not all of my coworkers know that I am getting divorced. My birthday is coming up shortly, and I decide to throw a party to cheer myself up. What birthday party is complete without cake? So, I make a phone call.)

Me: “Hi. I’d like to order a birthday cake, please. It needs to be big enough to feed 25 to 30 people.”

Bakery Employee: “No problem. What would you like it to say?”

Me: “‘Happy Birthday, [My Name].’”

(I hang up the phone and realize that two of my coworkers are staring at me.)

Coworker #1: *smirking* You’re ordering yourself a birthday cake? That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.

Me: “Well, I want a cake for my party. You’re all invited, by the way.”

Coworker #1: “Can’t someone else order it for you? What about your husband?”

Coworker #2: *nudges [Coworker #1]*

Coworker #1: “What?”

Coworker #2: “She’s getting divorced, idiot.” *to me* “I’ll come to your party. Can I bring anything?”

Me: “Just yourself.” *smiles gratefully*

(The party ended up being a huge success. The cake was delicious! By the time everyone had left, it was 1:30 am and my house was a mess. Oh, did I say everyone had left? Not quite. [Coworker #2] stayed behind to help me clean up. And – to paraphrase a famous saying – several years later, Reader, I married him.)

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It’s Becoming A More Popular “Lifestyle Choice”

, , , | Romantic | August 6, 2019

(I’m helping a customer fill out a form and we’ve gotten to the optional “equal opportunities” section.)

Me: “May I ask your sexual orientation? Again, this question is not compulsory; you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

Customer: *whispering* “Divorced.”

 

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Seemed Like Destiny Initially

, , , , , , | Friendly | April 20, 2019

(I work in a pretty large chain store. My coworker and I are chatting and the topic of names comes up. She says her parents have the same initials.)

Me: “Their relationship must be fate!”

Coworker: “They’re divorced…”

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