Hell Hath No Fury Like A Homewrecker Scorned

, , , , , | Working | September 21, 2020

I’m a teller at a bank. It’s near closing, and I’m working with one coworker, who I don’t like because she’s an aggressive flirt, and one manager is in his office seeing to paperwork. I see a customer come in and my coworker sneers at him and walks off.

When he gets up to my counter, the customer tells me he hasn’t been able to access his account. I look it up and see that his account was recently locked on one of the days I wasn’t working and is now pending closure, with a note that it was for being aggressive and threatening to shoot the teller — the other coworker — which got him removed from the premises.

I inform him of this fact and tell him to leave before he sets off again or decides to act on his threat and I have to hit the panic button, only for him to react in shock and panic and actually start crying. He has no idea what I am talking about and seems terrified of being arrested for something he seems to not remember doing. I’m not sure what to do at this point, so I tell him gently to leave and I’ll review the case.

After he obliges and departs, I ping my manager to come up and my coworker walks back up to the counters.

Coworker: “Is he gone? Did you threaten to call the cops on him?”

Me: “I was about to, but he seemed to have no idea what he was talking about. The poor guy walked off crying and terrified.”

Coworker: *Smugly* “Good. That’s what he gets for snubbing me.”

Me: “What?”

The manager walks up just in time to hear that sentence and looks at my coworker. Something about that comment seems off to him, too, so he goes to his office to review the video footage of the day and time the note said he made the threat.

An hour later, he calls my coworker into the office with him and she pales. She leaves about half an hour later in tears.

Me: “What’s going on?”

With very visible annoyance, he grabs [Coworker]’s nameplate off the desk and chucks it into the garbage.

Manager: “[Coworker] tried flirting with [Customer], but he’s married so he turned her down. Apparently, she was so offended by this that she fabricated this story to ruin his life by getting his finances locked out! The police weren’t even called, and it all happened silently! [Manager #2] was working with her so I need to do some looking into this. You got things covered?”

I nodded and went back to work until closing. Over the next couple of days, I got to watch a domino effect; [Manager #2] was having “after-hours involvement” with my now-ex-coworker, so he corroborated her fake story and allowed her to make the note because she had him wrapped around her little finger.

When my manager called to set things straight with the customer, he was, rightfully, less than generous because his rent situation was uncertain and we could have gotten him and his family kicked out onto the street, and it resulted in us being sued for wrongful termination of a contract, among other charges of financial and emotional damage. Naturally, he also zeroed out his account with us and went to find another bank.

I do have to give credit where it’s due, though; when word of all of this reached the bank owner, he fired [Manager #2] on the spot, gave a huge payout to the customer as an apology for his hardships when he was approached by his lawyers — more than his lawsuit was asking for in damages, even — and set out to see if there was any legal retribution he could advise the customer to take on my ex-coworker and ex-manager for their petty revenge scheme.

At the time of writing this, that hasn’t borne any fruit just yet.

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You’re Gonna Want Popcorn For This One, Folks

, , , , , | Romantic | August 19, 2020

I am a wedding photographer. Usually, my wife comes along and assists me, but for this wedding, she says she has plans to go home and visit with her parents. When I get there, the groom keeps looking at me with an odd expression. I figure he is just nervous, so I do my job without comment.

At the reception, he approaches me.

Groom: “Hey, thanks for coming out today.”

Me: “No problem. Thanks for the work!” *Laughs*

Groom: “So, your last name is [My Last Name], right?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Groom: “Do you know [Wife]?”

Me: “Yeah, she’s my wife.”

Groom: “Oh. I thought you might be related. Is she here?”

Me: “Oh. Um… She usually comes along but she was busy today. Did you guys go to school together?”

Groom: “No, no. We dated a few years ago, right before [Bride] and I got together.”

Me: *Awkwardly* “Oh, okay. I don’t think she’s ever mentioned you.”

Groom: “Yeah, it was, like, five years ago. No big deal.”

The DJ calls the groom to the dance floor.

Groom: “Anyway, thanks for coming out!”

I finish the reception and go home to find my wife sitting on the couch, watching TV.

Wife: “Hi, honey. How was the wedding?”

Me: “It went well. The bride was beautiful. The groom was [Groom].”

My wife goes very still.

Wife: “Oh, that’s nice.”

Me: “Yeah. You know, it’s so weird… He said you dated five years ago.”

Wife: *Laughs nervously* “He’s obviously confused. I wasn’t even there!”

Me: “He asked about you by name.”

Wife: “Well—”

Me: “Get the f*** out of my house.”

We had a long, loud argument about her affair. Apparently, the groom knew my name because they were still in touch, and my wife hadn’t really gone home to her parents; she just didn’t want to be at the wedding and risk seeing him. Our divorce was finalized as soon as legally possible and I have zero contact with her.

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He Chose The Wrong Thing To Be Honest About

, , , , | Right | August 17, 2020

I’m a customer service agent for an insurance company. The people I help on the phone have questions about either their car, house, or travel insurance. Right now, we get a lot of customers who have questions about their travel insurance and recompense for cancellation costs if they cancel their holidays due to the current health crisis. Not this customer, though; he has a whole new set of reasons.

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I need to cancel my holiday with my family, and I was wondering if my travel insurance will cover the cancellation costs.”

Me: “Can you tell me what happened? In certain circumstances, we do cover cancellation costs, and with the current events, we are a bit more lenient with those circumstances.”

Customer: “Yeah, I need to cancel my holiday because I need to go to the hospital with my girlfriend for an echo; she is pregnant.”

Me: “Congratulations! Was your girlfriend also going on this trip?”

Customer: “Of course not! I was going with my wife and kids! And can you change the email address you have from us? That way my wife won’t find out about this.”

Me: “Let me get this straight; you want us to pay for your cancelled holiday with your wife and kids because you got your girlfriend pregnant?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Yeah, that’s not going to happen.”

Definitely the weirdest cancellation reason I heard so far!

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The Wrong Kind Of Daddy Issues, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | August 10, 2020

My sister is working at the front desk at a hotel and the rule is that she can’t flirt with guests. However, there is a group of men staying at the hotel for a while working on a gas line. One is a little flirty with my sister and often stops to talk with her and tries to get her to go out for drinks with him. One day, he isn’t with the typical group of guys he’s always with.

Sister: “Hey, where’s your friend?”

Guest: “Oh, his wife went into labor so he left early.”

Related:
The Wrong Kind Of Daddy Issues

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It’s Pretty Clear Who The “Bad Guy” Is

, , , , , , | Related | May 12, 2020

For the record, I still don’t know if I’m the good or the bad guy in this story. While I’m proud of myself for finally speaking my mind, I recognize that my actions were incredibly unprofessional.

Some background is required. Several years ago, I was part of a group of friends who met at [Person #1]’s house to play board games once a week. After several months with this group, I was let in on the Big Secret: [Person #1] was cheating on his wife with [Person #2]. I was let in on this secret in order for [Person #1] and [Person #2] to be able to act like a couple in front of the group of friends away from [Person #1]’s wife and discuss their relationship without having to hide the affair around the group.

The expectation was that I would keep the Big Secret. I was incredibly uncomfortable with this arrangement; I hadn’t asked for the information and did not want it. I think affairs are horrible and I felt terrible for [Person #1]’s wife. Things went sour shortly afterward, and I ended up leaving the group feeling extremely bitter. I should point out, however, that I never gave up the Big Secret.

Fast forward to this year. I work for an internationally-known gaming convention at the front desk, and this year I am taking time cards as the convention comes to a close. With this convention, employees go by pseudonyms instead of our real names. Someone I vaguely recognize hands me their time card. He looks at me and as I start to realize who it is, he says, “Do you remember me?” Just as I figure out who he is, he says, “You used to come over to my house to play board games.”

Yes, it is [Person #1]. I reply with, “And you’re cheating on your wife.” It just flies out of my mouth before I realize what I’m saying. He grows cold, says, “Yes, I am,” and walks off.

I’ve already handed the time card to my immediate supervisor, so I ask her to rifle through the cards. She pulls one out and reads his real name, and I start cursing. I start imagining all the different kinds of trouble I’m going to get in for being so rude to a coworker. I explain everything to my supervisor, and she advises me to walk around the expo hall for the next hour to calm down. I do as she recommends, and when I come back, I talk to the manager of all of the convention employees.

I explain to the manager my shared history with [Person #1], and before I can finish telling her what happened an hour earlier, she starts laughing! She says she finds the whole thing hilarious and that she would have done the exact same thing I did. [Person #1]’s behavior is disgusting and I have nothing to worry about. What a relief!

I go back to work with a huge weight off my shoulders. Because I went right to the top, I’m safe if [Person #1] complains to his immediate supervisor. And hey, I finally got to speak my mind!

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