Not Quite Doing It By The Book

, , , , , , | Learning | February 3, 2019

When I was in middle school, our district had a program meant to promote reading amongst students. Once you read a book you would take a short online quiz asking you about plot points and details from the book. If you scored a passing grade, you earned points based on the difficulty of the book. Near the end of the year, you could spend the points on prizes and the top students would sometimes get a field trip. These points were also sometimes used to evaluate teachers in the reading courses.

My class was reading the same book together, and every class period we would be given 20 to 30 minutes just for reading that book. I was the first to finish the book, so my teacher sent me to the classroom next door to take the online quiz. She told me to write down my questions and answers I received, as well. I missed only one question on the quiz, and following her instructions, I wrote down my answer, rather than the correct one.

I got back to class and explained this to my teacher. She scolded me for not giving her all right answers, and even let me know that she was “disappointed” in me. After that, whenever a student wanted to take the quiz, she gave them my answers so that everyone could use them to score well. The second student to take the quiz got the answer for the one I missed, so this means that everyone in the class got 100% other than me.

After she used me to cheat, and even chided me for doing it poorly, any trust I had for that teacher was ruined.

A Different Grade Of Thief

, , , , , , | Learning | February 1, 2019

When I was younger, I always loved reading. I still do, even though I don’t have as much time as I used to. In my school, we were allowed to quietly read after we finished our work, something I took full advantage of… at least until my grades started drastically dropping in one class.

I always did my work before I pulled out a book, so I was confused. A parent-teacher meeting was called, and my teacher told my parents that she hadn’t been receiving any papers for me. The decision was made to ban me from reading at all in her class.

I still did my work, and my grade in that class didn’t get much better, but since the apparent “reason” had been taken care of, nothing more was done until one day, when we had a new kind of assignment.

This new one was a magazine for kids with short informational stories. We then had to fill out a little quiz on the back of it. I turned mine in, went back to my seat, and waited.

Towards the end of class, the teacher read out the names of everyone who had turned them in… and mine wasn’t there. I knew I had turned it in, so I asked her if I could look through them, which she allowed. And about midway through the pile, I found it: my work, with my name erased and another name written over it. How did I know?

Well, once you wrote on those magazines, the indent would still be there, even if it was erased. I showed it to my teacher, pointed out the indents, and the person who stole that paper — and several before that — got in a lot of trouble. I had more problems with her, but this was the biggest stunt she pulled by far.

Perfume… Actually

, , , , | Right Romantic | December 24, 2018

(I am working on the fragrance counter of a large store on Christmas Eve when a man asks for my help selecting presents — women’s perfume. He tells me he needs two presents, one for under €100 and one under €20. He chooses to go over budget with the more expensive gift, and we are now browsing for the smaller gift.)

Me: “Okay, it seems you like [Fragrance #1] more than the others. It costs €25 for 75 mls, which is a little over your budget, but you do get a big bottle, which is good value.”

Customer: “Hmm… Yes, I do like it a lot more than [Fragrance #2] and [Fragrance #3], but it is a little bit too expensive, seeing as I’ve gone over budget with the other one.”

Me: “Okay, well, we do have [Fragrance #4] on sale for €19.99 for 50 mls. It’s a very good brand, and a nice, medium-sized bottle.”

Customer: “Right, I’ll go with that one, then! Any chance you could gift wrap them both for me?”

Me: “Great. Let me just scan them through, and I will wrap them while we put your card through.”

(I wrap them, and then notice that the bottles are hard to tell apart when wrapped in the same paper.)

Me: “Would I be able to put a name on either gift for you, sir? They look very alike, and it might be hard to tell them apart without labeling them.”

Customer: “Oh, they do look the same! Yeah, could you put [Name #1] on the [expensive perfume] and [Name #2] on the other?”

Me: “No problem. Let me just grab my pen!”

Customer: “Actually… could we swap that around? [Name #2] on the [expensive perfume] and [Name #1] on the other?”

Me: “Of course.”

Customer: *laughing* “You see one’s for the wife, and the other’s for a colleague… Can’t be mixing them up!”

Me: *smiling and joking with him* “No, you’d be in trouble if you did!”

Customer: “Yeah, the wife mightn’t mind [cheap perfume], but [Name #2] told me specifically to get [expensive perfume]!”

Me: “…”

(It made me wonder just how close he and his “colleague” were.)

Explaining The Lay Of The Land

, , , , , | Learning | December 5, 2018

(In geography class, the teacher calls me and my tablemate back to his desk and pulls out our last tests.)

Teacher: “Now, when I was grading your tests, I noticed some similarities on your tests. Can either of you explain this?”

Me: “I won three school geography bees, and made it to state finals my last year. This moron could not find the US on a three-country map of North America. Suggesting that I would cheat off of him is insulting.”

(With that, I flounced back to my seat. Somehow, I didn’t get in trouble for being a smarta**.)

We Offer Both Family And Infidelity Plans!

, , , , | Right | December 4, 2018

(A man calls in to ask why his phone bill is so high. He is on a 700-minute family plan; his phone used 650 minutes, his son’s phone used 10 minutes, and his wife’s phone used… 720 minutes. I can see the call list on her line, and it seems she’s been calling someone in another state twice each day. I attempt to explain this to him:)

Me: “I’ve found the issue, sir. Your wife’s line used 720 minutes last month, and since you have a 700-minute family plan, that’s why your bill is so high. I can upgrade you to the 1400-minute plan for [price], though that would still put you over your limit for last month.”

Caller: “My wife did not use her phone. You made a mistake.”

Me: “I have the call log here to show all the calls, and there’s one number in Houston, Texas, that comes up twice a day. I can send you the call log, if that helps.”

Caller: “I don’t believe you. The call log doesn’t prove anything. She doesn’t know anyone in Houston. You made a mistake. She never uses her phone.”

Me: “Uh, have you asked your wife about whether she has been using her phone?”

Caller: *to his wife* “Have you been using your phone?”

Caller’s Wife: “No, I haven’t.”

Caller: “She says she hasn’t been using her phone, so it’s your mistake.”

Me: “Uh, okay, well… Let me transfer you to our fraud department so they can figure out who has been using her phone to call Houston twice a day.”

(I hope she is enjoying her new life with her Texan boyfriend.)

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