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Kindness With A Cherry On Top

, , , , , , | Right Romantic | July 1, 2022

Me: “What can I get you?”

Customer: *On the verge of tears* “A boyfriend that doesn’t cheat on me?”

Me: “Uh… so, a chocolate sundae?”

Customer: *Sniff* “Yes, please.”

Me: “With extra sprinkles.”

Customer: “And a cherry?”

Me: “You can have five!”

Customer: *Sniffle and a slight smile*

While I don’t always appreciate a customer giving me TMI, I’ll help if it’s within my power!

Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood: After Dark

, , , , , , , , | Romantic Working | April 25, 2022

My manager’s manager is a fairly nice guy. He is bald, always wears argyle cardigans, and has a friendly attitude that earned him the nickname Mr. Rogers. He self-identifies as gay, though you wouldn’t know it if you didn’t see him attending a company meeting with his husband and didn’t notice the pictures of him and his husband that his office was bedecked with.

My coworker in my department self-identifies as a lesbian. She also self-identifies as a “riot grrrr” and dyes her hair bright colors. She’s very loud and proud about her identity as a lesbian, and her cubicle is equally bedecked with pictures of her wife, political cartoons about lesbianism and feminism, and office plants. I get along with her pretty well, though sometimes I have to tune her out when she gets upset and starts ranting while she works. I think it mostly she just rants to calm herself down.

Because I’m one of the few people who doesn’t get into arguments with [Coworker], my cubicle is near hers.

One day, I come into work, and [Coworker]’s cubicle is completely empty. I was expecting to work with her on a client together today, so I find this surprising — and upsetting as I need her portion of the work as well as mine.

I manage to reschedule the client so I can actually have time to either find or remake her work, and I go to management to ask what the heck happened.

“Mr. Rogers’” office is also completely sterile and empty. My manager’s title has been changed; he’s been promoted.

I ask him what happened.

It turns out that a janitor walked in on “’Mr. Rogers” performing a sex act on [Coworker] in the office after hours.

Normally, cheating on your spouse — even with a coworker — is not grounds for dismissal, but the fact that the sexual acts occurred on the premise was determined to be cause for immediate removal, as per the “morals” clause of our contracts.

According to my manager, both “Mr. Rogers” and [Coworker] maintained their innocence, insisting that it wasn’t cheating because they were doing it with someone of a different sex than their spouses.

Last I heard, they were both divorced and had found work again in different accounting firms. “Mr. Rogers” sent the whole office a letter when he was hired by his new place, and my coworker emailed me, though no one else. I guess I made an impression on her?

Thanks For Livening Up The Night, I Guess

, , , | Right | CREDIT: tinyketchupbottle | April 8, 2022

I work in a hotel. On a slow Sunday evening, I briefly stepped away from the desk and returned to the glorious sound of a ringing phone.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel Chain]. My name is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi. I’m looking to check on a reservation, but it’s old. Are you able to do that?”

Me: “Sure. What’s the name and check-in date?”

She gives matching information and I look it up.

Me: “Okay, what are you trying to find out?”

Caller: “Well, I’m looking at the number of guests on the reservation, because my invoice says two, and I’m trying to figure out why.”

I check. The stay happened months before I started working at this property. There’s only a number — two — and no other guest name listed aside from the one on the reservation.

Me: “I see two people in the room but only one name on the reservation.”

Caller: “Why wouldn’t the other name be listed?”

Me: “It could be an oversight during the reservation creation or check-in process. I’m sorry, I don’t have any other information available beyond the number.”

Caller: “So, there’s no way to find out if there was anyone else in the room?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but if there was another person, their name wasn’t listed.”

I begin to hear a male talking in the background, saying something along the lines of, “I’m telling you, it was only me in the room!” At this point, my soul begins the process of escaping the clutches of my human form, fearful of what the future holds.

Caller: “What’d you say your name is?”

I tell her again. She then calls me by name and continues.

Caller: “My spouse was there with a little blonde thing. He’s twenty-eight and she’s twenty-two. He thinks it’s okay to do this kind of stuff behind my back and thinks I’m too stupid to find out.”

Me: “…”

They continue fighting. It’s a slow night, and they’ve invited me to the horror show that is their bubbling romance, so I take a seat, grab some popcorn, and listen to them argue for a few minutes.

Caller: “I’m sorry. I’m sure this is a strange call for you.”

No, of course not. This is totally normal. I continue to stay silent.

Caller: “There’s nothing else you can give me?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry.”

Caller: “Okay, well, have a good night.”

I hung up and went back to babysitting humanity.

Secrets Always Come Out Eventually

, , , , | Romantic | February 28, 2022

When I was a kid, my dad and I were at Thanksgiving dinner with my dad’s girlfriend and her family.

Me: *Proudly* “Dad, both of your girlfriends have the same first name!”

Dad: “Oh, you’re just a little kid; you don’t know what you’re talking about!”

But I “reminded” him of [Girlfriend #2]’s full name. She happened to be a coworker of [Girlfriend #1]’s sister, so there was no doubting that she was a real person.

Should’ve Had Reservations About This Reservation

, , , , | Romantic | CREDIT: americanslang59 | February 25, 2022

I am the front-of-house manager at a trendy restaurant. It isn’t “upscale” but it’s a local restaurant that receives incredibly good reviews from national media. It’s the type of place you take a date to impress them. Part of this is due to the food; part is due to the service.

On a somewhat slow Saturday night at 7:00 pm, I answer our phone.

Customer: “I’d like to make a reservation for 8:00 pm.”

Me: “Sure.”

Customer: “Can you help me with something?”

Me: “What do you need, sir?”

Customer: “I need to make the night extra special. Can you set the table up with flowers?”

Me: “That’s not a problem. We have fresh flowers delivered for décor every few days so I can make a bouquet for you.”

Customer: “Do you have greeting cards?”

No? But it is a slower night, and we have a market next door where I could send a server to grab a card.

Me: “What would you like it to say, sir?”

I struggle to keep up with his rambling, but the gist is about how much he loves this woman.

By this point, I’m thinking, “Holy s***. This guy is proposing.” I tell some of our servers and everybody is stoked because none of us have ever seen a proposal before. We go all-out on this table.

Eight o’clock rolls around and there’s no sign of this couple.

Eight-fifteen comes and a couple walks in the door. I think it’s them, but I’m not sure. The guy looks incredibly nervous; he’s sweating bullets. The woman seems very tired and lethargic. Then, the guy asks for a table for two. The server walks him to a table. He sees the table with flowers and asks to sit at that table. The server tells him it is for a reservation, and he says, “Yeah, that was me.” Weird start, but okay. We seat them there.

The woman opens the card and reads it. She doesn’t seem that interested; she just sets it to the side. Every employee is watching this table from the corner of their eyes, waiting for something to happen. But they are silent. The only words spoken are their drink orders to the server.

After their drinks come, they order some food and sit in more agonizing silence.

Then, the woman turns to the guy.

Woman: “Do you think this is going to change anything?”

And the fighting started. Once the shouting began, it became clear that this wasn’t a proposal. The guy had cheated on her and was trying to win her back.

The woman stormed out of the restaurant. The guy started crying, chased her, and didn’t come back.