Not Billed To Be The Next Great Conman

, , , , | Legal | July 18, 2018

(I am working the cash register when an unknown customer walks up to me.)

Customer: “Hello. I have lots of 10€ notes I’d like to exchange for bigger notes.”

Me: “Sure. We are actually low on 10€ notes today, so that is great! How many did you have?”

(The customer then proceeds to pull a big stack of 10s out of his pocket.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. We don’t actually keep that many big bills in the till. Looks like most I can do for you today is 250€.”

Customer: “Okay, fine.”

(I don’t hand him the money yet. I decide it’s best to keep it safely in the till until I’ve checked his notes. Then he starts to count 25 bills from the stack really fast. After he hands me the bills, I check and count them, and notice he actually gave me 24 bills. When I tell him this, he takes the 24 bills back and starts counting them again, lightning fast.)

Customer: “Oh, I’m sorry, looks like you’re right. Here’s one more.”

(He hands me back the stack of bills, plus one more from his pocket. I’m beyond suspicious at this point, so I start counting them again.)

Customer: *slightly panicked* “No, no, you don’t have to do that. You just counted them already!”

Me: “Errm, I’m kind of glad I did. Instead of 24 or 25 bills, there’s 16 now…”

(At this, he snatched the stack of 10s from my hands and ran out of the store. I closed my lane and went to tell the manager. My manager and a few department supervisors checked the surveillance footage of the camera pointed at my till after that. They actually had to play it at a three-times lower speed before they could see at what point he had taken part of the stack and hidden it up his sleeve. Turned out he had done this at lots of other supermarkets in the area, too, and had succeeded most of the time! They gave me a gift card for not falling for it!)

Break-ing The Law

, , , , | Legal | July 12, 2018

Boss: “You can’t go on a break. We don’t do breaks here.”

Me: “But I’m working seven hours. It’s obligatory to let me have a break.”

Boss: “Sorry, there’s no time for breaks.”

Me: “Then you should have more people working.”

Boss: “We can’t afford that.”

Me: “Well, if you can’t afford to run your company in a legal way, you’re obviously doing something wrong.”

Not Raising Them To Be Trash

, , , , | Related | July 11, 2018

(I’m eating in a fast food place. Next to me is a family, consisting of a mom and two teenage children — a boy and girl — who have just finished eating. As they’re getting up, I hear the following exchange.)

Son: “Why are we supposed to clean that up? It’s their job.”

Mother: *immediately turns around* “Are you kidding me? You don’t leave your plate on the table at home, do you?!”

(The son dutifully grabbed his trash and threw it away.)

Unfiltered Story #116441

, | Unfiltered | July 10, 2018

(I have a coworker in an other restaurant who looks the same as me: long with dark, curly hair. It has become a running gag that we are brothers)

Customer: I wanted to ask you something..

Me: Sure, go right ahead.

Customer: Are you a brother of [coworker]?

Me: Yes, I am!

Customer: See! That’s what I thought! Because I’m his neighbour!

He’s Going Down

, , , , | Friendly | July 6, 2018

(I’m at a local festival with a coworker, but I barely know anyone and I am not that good at making contacts. My coworker spots a guy she knows and introduces me to him.)

Coworker: “[My Name], this is [Guy].”

Me: “Hi. We’re coworkers.”

Guy: “Oh, really?”

Me: “For now at least. I have a degree, but it’s tough to find a decent job nowadays.”

Guy: “What kind of degree?”

Me: “History.”

Guy: “Then you should have known.”

Me: *surprised by this sudden harshness* “Oh?”

Guy: “Yeah, the statistics, you know…”

(Not a good start. After that it doesn’t get better. The guy tells me he is a software developer, and from that goes to politics. According to him, the government is stealing money through taxes. He also thinks local governments should be abolished since they “never did anything for him.” But the last straw is when the discussion moves to the subject of useful science.)

Me: “Well, it depends on what you call ‘useful.’ I mean, take Darwin for instance. He is always praised for the evolution theory. And no matter how interesting or even right it is, what’s the use in daily life?”

Guy: “It teaches us that one person has better genes than the other.”

Me: “Uh… What?”

Guy: “Yeah. I mean, think of an entire society full of Down Syndrome people; we wouldn’t want that, right?”

(Lucky, my coworker noticed me getting uncomfortable and saved me from the conversation. Turned out she didn’t really like him, either.)

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