A Big Pink Lie

, , , , | Right | July 29, 2021

Customer: “I’d like to return this please, and no, I do not want an exchange.”

She turns and laughs to the line of customers behind her.

Me: “I’m afraid we don’t sell this. You may have bought it next door?”

Customer: *Blushes* “No, no. I definitely bought it here.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we really don’t sell these. I can’t give you a refund.”

Customer: “No. Do you even know who I am?”

I shake my head.

Customer: “I live in that house up there.” *Points out of the window*

Me: “The large pink house?”

Customer: “Exactly, in [Expensive Part Of Town].”

Me: “That really doesn’t affect whether I can refund this, and besides, that’s not your house. It’s my grandmother’s.”

Customer: *Laughs* “You lying wart. I live there, not your white-trash grandmother who’s probably pissing herself with dementia because you can’t afford a decent home for her. Do me a favour and call the manager, please?”

I don’t bother to respond and call the only senior person in the store at that moment, the owner. When he arrives, the customer goes on a tirade, insulting my grandmother and claiming again that she lives in the “pink house up the hill.” The owner has been silent throughout.

Owner: “So, let me get this straight. You are trying to return something we don’t sell, and instead of admitting you’ve gone to the wrong store, you spun a tale of how you live at my mother’s house in an attempt to get a refund out of my son?”

Customer: *Blushing again* “Oh, umm… Maybe I’ll try next door.”

She sprinted to the door, while the remaining line of customers who stood witness imitated her laugh.

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The Truth Is Piercing

, , , | Right | July 28, 2021

I’m working at the jewelry counter at a big box store. My coworker is preparing to pierce a little girl’s ears.

Coworker: “So, who is this that is here with you?”

Lady: “I’m her aunt.”

Coworker: “And you’re her legal guardian?”

Lady: “Yes.”

Little Girl: *Happily* “My mom’s in jail!”

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I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 39

, , , | Right | July 28, 2021

I work at a famous coffee chain inside a large superstore. My uniform is different from the regular retail employees who all wear red with khakis.

I’m shopping in the store for new boots for the upcoming winter. I head on over to the shoe section, select some boots I like, and try them on. Just as I sit down and pull one on, a gentleman stops where I’m sitting.

Customer: “Excuse me, where can I find the DVDs?”

I stare up at him, a little perplexed, but point in the general area and give him some simple directions. He thanks me and walks back to his friend.

Customer’s Friend: “Dude, did you seriously just stop a random girl, trying on shoes, to ask for directions? She’s not even wearing red!”

The guy looks back at me, surprised, and then shrugs.

Customer: “She looked like she knew where to go.”

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 38
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 37
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 36
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 35
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 34

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Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 17

, , , , | Right | July 28, 2021

I am twenty years old and working my first job in retail. A customer comes up to me with his purchases. It’s a Saturday afternoon and the store is busy.

Customer: “You should really have more registers open. More than half the people are putting their purchases down and walking out. If I didn’t have [Store Coupon], I would have left!”

This is in no way true. We have had all the registers open; it’s been a sort of all-hands-on-deck situation. As for customers walking out without their purchases, I have seen nothing of the sort. It’s been a pretty normal day at the store. Most customers seem happy on their way out and they’ve been nice and understanding for the most part.

Me: “Well—”

Customer: “You should really talk to a manager about this. Every time I come here, there’s some sort of problem. This store is terribly mismanaged.”

Me: “I apologize for the wait, but—”

I was about to say we were doing everything we could when the customer stormed out. I was left bewildered. What did he expect us to do? I can’t just materialize cashiers and registers. I’m just glad that I got to take my lunch break immediately after.

Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 16
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 15
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 14
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 13
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 12

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Take A Pregnant Pause To Reconsider Your Ideals

, , , , , , | Right | July 28, 2021

I used to work for a Christian retailer for many years, and whoo-boy, could I tell some stories. This one sticks in my mind, however.

One of my coworkers, a young unmarried female, fell pregnant — a bit of a no-no to our customer base. To assist her, she was retrained for a different department which had limited contact with the shop floor. One day, however, she needed to get something from the counter and a female customer spotted her.

Immediately, the customer exclaimed:

Customer: “Oh, you’re pregnant! That’s so exciting! Your husband must be so pleased.”

I could see my coworker have a mini internal struggle as to whether she should lie or tell the truth. She chose the latter and advised the customer that she was not married.

The customer’s countenance immediately changed and she began raging about sin and how terrible this girl was, etc. I bee-lined over right away and politely asked my coworker, now close to tears, to please pop out back for a moment as the manager was looking for her.

As soon as she left, I whirled on the customer and let fly.

Me: “How dare you judge that girl! You have no idea the circumstances surrounding her pregnancy! She may have been raped for all you know! Or divorced. Or any number of things. You have no right to judge her whatsoever.”

I let fly for a few more moments before the customer, who at least now looked properly chastened, left the store.

As soon as she left, my manager popped out from the next aisle, having heard the whole thing.

Manager: “You know, I technically should reprimand you for speaking to a customer like that.” *Pauses* “I won’t, though. Well done.”

We never saw that customer again.

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