Not Even Fractionally Getting It

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Right | May 18, 2017

Me: “Ma’am, you’re still about a dollar short of your total.”

Customer: “No, I gave you a dollar coin.”

(I hold up a quarter that for whatever reason came out gold-colored.)

Me: “Oh, no, this is just an oddly-colored quarter, ma’am. See?”

Customer: “No, it says ‘quarter-dollar’ right there!”

(I just stare at her and blink. I hear customers behind her snickering. I resolve that this just isn’t worth it.)

Me: “Yeah, okay, whatever. Here’s your receipt. Have a nice day.”

Keeping Those Daddy Issues In Sight

| UK | Related | May 18, 2017

(A coworker is notorious for refusing to wear her glasses, and she can barely see without them.)

Coworker: “There’s this creep following me around and trying to talk to me. Can you try get rid of him? I finish in five minutes and don’t want him to follow me out.”

Me: “Oh, sure.”

(She points in his general direction and heads into the back to get ready to leave. I try to suss out who she meant and I eventually distract a guy to go to the other side of the store. Then she comes out.)

Coworker: “Is that you, [My Name]? Thanks for the help… OH, MY GOD! He’s there! I thought you said you’d get rid of him.”

Me: “I thought I did!”

Coworker: “Yeah, well he’s right there!”

Me: “Where?”

Coworker: “The guy in blue.”

Me: “[Coworker], that’s your dad!”

(She gave me an incredulous look and stormed up to him. She grabbed his head and got so close their noses almost touched.)

Coworker: “Oh, I guess you’re right. See you tomorrow!”

You’ve Been Zuckerberged

| MI, USA | Right | May 17, 2017

(I work overnights in a retail store. This happens at about three in the morning. I’m currently helping another customer when an older man walks up to me.)

Customer: “Can you tell me where your iTunes gift cards are?”

Me: *points* “There’s some right over there at that four-way, but there’s more in electronics.”

(I finish helping the other customer when I see the man talking to a vendor that happens to be working that night. He says he needs a $100 card specifically and I confirm that there are no taxes or fees on the card. He asks the vendor for help, and she agrees to walk him to electronics to help him find the cards. I return to my register and begin working. A few minutes later the customer returns, flustered and out-of-breath, and I step up to help him.)

Me: *rings up card and processes transaction without issues*

Customer: “Thanks so much for your help. I seriously appreciate it. What shift is this? Is this third shift?”

Me: “Yeah…?”

Customer: “I’ll come back later with something for you. I’ll buy everyone on third shift lunch.” *takes out his phone* “Okay, I just need to take a picture of my card so he knows I have it.”

(This is when the red flags start waving. I don’t know much about this scam, but it’s something I’ve heard of. I thought nothing of the purchase until this point.)

Me: “So, uh, did you need to buy something online?”

Customer: “No, nothing like that. I just needed to buy it to send it to—”

Me: “Okay, I didn’t realize it until just now, but you need to be careful. All I know is that there is a scam going around using iTunes gifts cards and—”

Customer: “No, no, no! It’s not a scam! It’s not a scam!”

Me: “Are you sure? Do you know who you’re texting?”

Customer: *smugly* “No, see.” *fiddles with his phone* “Look who I’m talking to.”

(He holds up his phone and shows me a chat where he thinks he’s talking to Mark Zuckerberg. I’m speechless and he looks triumphant at my reaction. I’m stunned and am trying not to laugh. Honestly, it’s so ridiculous I almost think I’m being pranked.)

Customer: “You know who that is, right? That’s the owner of Facebook.”

Me: *still stunned* “Yeah. Well… I still think you should make sure it’s not a scam. Just be careful.”

Customer: “No, it’s all good!” *messages the guy* “Haha! He asked me how I got the card at three am and told him it was a 24 hour store. He just said, ‘Oh.’ He probably has people who does all his shopping for him!”

(He proceeded to stand around messaging that guy and at one point made a comment about how he hasn’t slept in three days because he had been “running around like crazy.” I realized that he was probably several steps down the line on this scam and was just too far gone. I also realized that because of his reaction, I probably wasn’t the first to tell him it was a scam. Later, I talked to the vendor and she says he offered to buy her and her husband dinner, and of course that came off as odd, but she brushed it off. She also saw him in the parking lot later, messaging away on his phone. I wish there was more I could have told him, but I wasn’t too familiar with that scam and I knew he wouldn’t listen to me if I seemed uninformed. I did warn others of him, though, and was going to refuse to sell him anything else if he returned. I just wish he wasn’t so gullible… If any knows how this scam works, I’m going to be reading the comments.)

Only Has Beef With Your Beef

| Long Beach, CA, USA | Right | May 17, 2017

(The leather store, which sells unfinished leather, craft supplies, etc., that I train in is next door to a very excellent little restaurant. The manager has strung a rope, clothesline-style, across the store above head level to hang the cowhide rugs on. A lady who had been eating lunch next door comes in after lunch to see what we sell. She looks around, and then spots the cow hide rugs hanging from their clothesline. She gets a look of horror.)

Customer: “That’s horrible! Those are from animals! You shouldn’t be allowed to sell awful things like that!”

(She was so horrified that she actually threw up. Specifically, she threw up HER HAMBURGER.)

Not Keeping Everyone On Top Form

| England, UK | Working | May 17, 2017

(I have come into work and immediately rushed into the manager’s office.)

Manager: “We had a discrepancy of £15 on the registers yesterday and we need to investigate. Do you have any reason why the register would be short?”

Me: “Me personally? No.”

Manager: “Did you see anything unusual?”

Me: “No?”

(The rest of the discussion followed a similar path of me answering “no” to practically everything. We reach the end.)

Manager: “Okay, if you can just sign the bottom? I must warn you that if this happens more in future, we will have to consider disciplinary action.”

Me: “Are you serious? I’m not signing that.”

Manager: “Then I will have to note that down as suspicious.”

Me: “[Manager], I wasn’t even working yesterday.”

(The manager blushes, shuffles the forms underneath the desk, and lets me go. Fast forward a few months and I have taken on a role in the back, managing weekend administration. A similar situation occurs where there is a discrepancy, and I complete the procedure as I have been taught. The same manager is on duty that day and is expected to do the investigation.)

Manager: “We need more forms.”

Me: “Those forms include everyone who had access to the register yesterday, including those who topped it up. Even [Store Manager] is in there.”

Manager: “We need more, though.”

Me: “Why? Literally everyone who had the ability to steal from the register is included.”

Manager: “Yes, but you have to do randoms, too, to keep everyone on their toes.”

Me: *shocked* “But they’re used as strikes against the workers’ files. You’re putting people at risk of unnecessary disciplinary action.”

Manager: *staring me down* “We need more.”

(She left with the forms and ordered me to make more. I did, but I didn’t name them, and waited for the store manager, who happened to be coming in that day. I have never seen anyone go pale so quickly as when I told her. She halted the investigation (sending the manager home), and she and I spent the rest of the weekend going through the personnel files and comparing them with the schedules and payroll records. I even found the £15 form I refused to sign, with a poor attempt at forging my signature on the bottom. Overall, the additional forms were responsible for approximately 10 disciplinary actions, some of which resulted termination. The store manager reported it and the manager was promptly fired. I have had to take on a full time role in the interim of finding a replacement. Discrepancies still crop up, but the personnel files aren’t filling up as quickly, and everyone feels a lot calmer now that she is gone.)

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