(I work at a local chain of an international retail store. Recently, the store decided to put soundbars on display — a total of three — connected to our TV wall, and put the volume at an unnecessarily high input. The soundbars are so loud that we can’t hear phone calls clearly, hear our customers, or hear each other, which has led us to resort to shouting or using hand gestures to get across what we’re doing. It has given many of us headaches and decreased traffic in our department drastically. We’ve talked to multiple managers about this, including the new manager over our department who replaced the sweetest woman I’ve ever known. The new manager is a heartless woman who has only declined our pleading and even told us to turn UP the soundbars.)

Me: “Hey, [Assistant Manager], do you have a moment to talk?”

Assistant Manager: “Not really, but what’s up?”

Me: “Listen, the soundbars have to be turned down. They’re so obnoxiously loud that they’re giving us headaches and driving away customers. A guy tried to buy a phone plan but left because they were annoying him.”

Assistant Manager: “Yeah, I can’t really do anything about that; that’d be your supervisors’ job. Besides, as far as I know, it’s a corporate decision, so…” *shrugs and rushes off*

(The next day I come in, which is after a corporate visit — a nutjob threatened the store — I notice the soundbars are significantly lower. They’re so low, I don’t notice them until two hours into my shift.)

Me: “Hey, [Coworker], do you hear that? I can actually think!”

Coworker: *laughs* “Yeah, corporate came in today and said they were way too loud, so we got to turn them down.”

(Sweet victory!)

(I’m a front end supervisor and run our service desk, thus I have to answer a lot of customer questions, especially about our coupon policy. We almost always have a coupon available that can be used on most items in our store, but they usually only work on one regular-priced item, and are limited to one coupon per person, per day. I’m called over to a register where a customer is checking out.)

Coworker: “Er… could you come over here for a moment?”
Me: *walking over* “Sure! How can I help?”
Customer: “This coupon is off one item, so shouldn’t it come off these candles?” *points to 3 candles, which are sold individually and are also on sale*
Me: “If they weren’t on sale you could use it on one of them, but our coupons don’t generally work on sale items.”
Customer: “But they’re 3 for $10, that makes them one item!”
Me: “… No, it doesn’t. They’re still 3 items. The coupon is off a single item, not a group of the same item. And besides, they’re on sa-”
Customer: “They’re 3 for $10! That means they’re one item!”
Me: *realizing the customer will not be convinced that 3 items do not suddenly become 1 simply because they’re on sale, I change my tactics* “Regardless, they’re on sale and our coupon doesn’t work on sale items.”
Customer: “Oh, okay.”
Me: *walks away trying not to grimace at the idiocy of some people*

(Lately, we’ve had an ongoing promo toy giveaway related to a recent major movie release. The toys are called “Marvel Micropopz,” and on the self-checkouts, a screen will appear before the payment options offering one if the purchase qualifies. The message is poorly-worded, and the whole promotion has generally been poorly explained and poorly advertised, so I’ve gotten used to explaining the same things to customers over and over. But when one older gentleman comes up to me after a purchase, his confusion about it really takes the cake.)

Customer: “Hey, there was this message about redeeming points on my register.”

Me: *ready to go into my usual explanations* “Oh, that’s a—”

Customer: “But it wasn’t my name on the screen. It said it was for Marv Mikropovitz or something.”

(I was off the day this happened, but my coworker told me about the most racist customer she had ever met. Our store is small, so we only have 8 workers in all, and the day in question, all of our workers were Hispanic.)

Customer: *approaching register with a Hawaiian hat* Yeah, hi, I found this hat back there and the sticker said it was $2.97. I just wanted to check if that was the right price.

Coworker: No, ma’am, the price is $12.97.

Customer: What?? That’s such bullsh**! It says right back there $2.97. It’s not my fault that you had the wrong price on it!

Coworker: Well, ma’am, sometimes other customers will take stickers off of other products and place it on something they want in hopes of getting that item for a much cheaper price.

Customer: Are you calling me a liar? And a thief? *Throws hat at coworker*

Coworker: No, ma’am, I’m not. I’m just telling you-

Customer: *Yelling* I heard what you said!

Coworker: Okay, I apologize, ma’am, if I offended you. I’ll go back there to check the price out and see where the $2.97 came from.

(She heads to the back, and the customer goes with her)

Customer: I cannot believe how incompetent you people are. My time is valuable, and I am wasting it in this crap store with lazy a**Hispanics. Bet none of you are even legal.

Coworker: Actually, I was born and raised here, ma’am.

Customer: *acting like she said nothing* I didn’t ask for your life story, did I? There, see? That is the sticker right there, and it says $2.97

Coworker: *Pushes back sticker on the tag in front of the Hawaiian hat, and it clearly says $12.97, but someone had curled it so it looked like $2.97* That shows the correct price right there, ma’am. I cannot give it to you for $10 cheaper.

Customer: *gets furious* That’s not even the one I’m talking about! I’m talking about the one down here! *Points to one that’s obviously marked for a flimsy, plastic police hat*

Coworker: That is for that police hat. The SKU number is different.

Customer: I want to talk to your manager. You are being rude.

Coworker: I’m afraid my manager is off today, but my assistant manager is here.

Customer: FINE! God, whatever! *Goes back to pretend talking under her breath as she follows my coworker to the front* I f***ing hate this place, you’re just wasting my time! My time is f***ing valuable. Stupid wetbacks.

(My coworker begins to explain the situation to my coworker in English, but slips up and finishes a sentence in Spanish and the customer suddenly goes nuts.)

Customer: You did not just f***ing insult me! This is not Espanol Country, this is the US and you need to be speaking English in front of me. I cannot believe how f***ing rude you just were!

Asst. Manager: She wasn’t trying to be rude, ma’am, she was just telling me-

Customer: I do not f***ing care what she was trying to tell you, b****. You need to remember the white girl is important and you do not f***ing piss her off, because she makes your f***ing paycheck! And you are not getting my godd**n money! *Produces her middle finger at them, then turns to the newest employee who has been there a month and is standing there, watching the whole exchange* F***ing lazy wetback sp*cks! Maybe you should do your f***ing jobs and price things instead of standing around!

(I would never have believed her if the same woman had not come in a few days later, while I was working, to complain about the f***ing lazy wetback sp*cks to my manager, and accused my very white manager of being racist against English people. She promised never to come back to our store, and my manager assured her she need not come back in, because she was banned.)

(Overheard in the next aisle:)

Customer: “Honey, get a shorter cable so we get faster Internet.”

Related:
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 33
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 32
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 31