I am a relatively new hire at my current job, which I enjoy. The store in which I am working is very large and sells home decor items, wall art, garden items, and some furniture. However, the building in which it is located was previously, for many years, a very different store which sold a lot of things.

I’m getting used to being asked for things that our store doesn’t sell but which the old store did, because even after over a year, people are still not cottoning on to the fact that we are not that store.

These are all questions I have legitimately been asked.

Customer #1: “Do you sell DVDs?”

Customer #2: “Where is the appliance section?”

Customer #3: “Do y’all have switchblades?”

Customer #4: “Where are your pajamas?”

It took everything in me not to answer, “In my dresser.” And then there was this woman:

Customer: “Here’s my card.”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s a rewards card for the supermarket.”

Customer: “What? Well, where am I?”

I work at a customer service center for a big box retailer. One of our tasks is cashing paychecks for people. There is a 1% fee for the service, with the option to load it on a prepaid card for free if it is done in the same transaction. If not, the fee is $3.

Two construction workers come in together, checks in hand.

Customer #1: “Hey, chickadee. Got my paycheck. You got my money?”

Me: “If you’ve got your ID.”

I take his license and make sure everything matches.

Customer #1: “You like us coming in, don’t you?”

I smile politely, avoiding the question.

Me: “And if you’ll just enter your social security number on the PIN pad…”

Customer #2: “She does. You can see her blushing.”

Me: “Okay. You’re cashing a check for [amount], minus 1% for the service, which brings you to [new amount]. Would you like that in cash or loaded on a card?”

Customer #2: “Why?”

Me: “Well, if you load it on a card now, it’s free. If you do it in another transaction, it’s $3.”

Customer #1: “Cash, sweetheart.”

Me: “You don’t want to load it on a card?”

Customer #1: “No, I’ll take large bills.”

Me: “All right.”

I finish the transaction and count the cash back — starting over several times since they keep interrupting my counting — and wish them well.

Me: “Have a good night, gentlemen.” *Looking around them* “I can help—”

Customer #1: “Hold up! I want this on a card.”

Me: “I just asked if—”

Customer #1: “No, you didn’t. You just flopped all this cash down.”

Me: *Frustration building* “No, I asked twice. If you want it loaded on a card, it’s $3.”

Customer #2: “Bull-f******-s***! It’s $3?! You can’t charge for a f****** service! This is America!”

Customer #1: “Get me your manager, b****! You’re gonna do this and you’re gonna do it for free.”

Me: *Shrugs* “Okay.” *Over the loudspeaker* “Manager to customer service.”

A low-end manager comes to the desk and says he didn’t have the authority to waive the fee. I know that is a lie, but I don’t say anything.

Customer #2: “Then get someone who can do their g**d*** job.”

Manager: “Of course, sir.” *Over the loudspeaker* “Manager to customer service for a card fee override.”

Several people in the area look over at us, some glaring at the men.

Customer #1: *Blushes* “You can’t just call for a manager?”

Manager: *Smiling* “You have to have a certain authority to override fees. I wouldn’t want you to have to wait any longer if the wrong person came.”

The manager looks beyond the men, walking away.

Manager: “Excuse me.”

Though I was sure the other manager on duty was one who would override the fee to keep the customer happy, I was wrong. The store manager had asked via management headset what was going on, which was why the first manager left. The store manager came up himself and told the men that they would have to pay the fee. They decided not to load the card after all.

Related:
A Fee-ble Attempt At Avoiding The Fees, Part 2
A Fee-ble Attempt At Avoiding The Fees

This happens when everyone is going nuts for toilet paper. Everywhere in the mall is sold out. I work at a pet store where our vests are black with our logo on the front. I go into the dollar store to grab some items for the store. A lady grabs my arm.

Me: “Excuse me! Please let me go!”

Customer: “I need to find the toilet paper!”

Me: “I don’t work here.”

Customer: “Yes, you do. You’re wearing the uniform.”

I’m clearly not. The uniform here is a green apron or vest. I’m clearly wearing a black vest — nothing similar at all.

Me: “This is my uniform for [Pet Store]. See?”

I show her the logo.

Customer: “No, I need help! You’re going to help me!”

She still has a hold of my arm and is trying to pull me with her.

Me: “Let me go or I will call security!”

Her grip gets stronger. The customer sees another employee that actually works there.

Customer: “This worker won’t help me!”

Employee: “That’s because she doesn’t work here. You okay, [My Name]? Do you need me to call a security guard?”

The lady’s grip loosens, and I get out.

Me: “I’m good.”

I turn to the lady.

Me: “Touch me again and I will break your arm.”

Customer: *To the employee* “You’re just going to let her say that to me? I want her fired!”

Employee: “Nope. I like her too much. Now get out of the store. You’re harassing my customers.”

Customer: “But…”

Employee: “Out.”

She finally left and I joked around with the employee and got my supplies. The customer later came into my pet store. She saw me and instantly turned around and left.

I have bought a new tablet made by a major Internet retailer. In order to use my tablet, I have to create an account with said major Internet retailer. I have never needed to create an account with them before, so I am taken by surprise when it won’t let me use my email because “There is already an account with that email address.”

I call the retailer’s customer service line and finally get connected to a human representative.

Representative: “Hello, thank you for calling. My name is [Representative]. How can I help you?”

Me: “I’m trying to create an account so I can register my new [Brand] tablet, but it’s telling me that there is already an account with that email address. I did not create that account, so somebody must have used my email address for their own account.”

Representative: “You need to confirm the email to create an account.”

Me: “No, that’s not the problem. I did not make the account that is using my email. I would like that account to be taken down so I can use my own email for my account.”

Representative: “Oh, I understand. Can I have the name on the account?”

Me: “I don’t know what name the person used because I did not make the account.”

Representative: “I cannot cancel an account unless you are able to verify the information.”

Me: “How can I verify the information when someone else used my email address? Can you tell me what name is on the account, and I can tell you if that’s my name or not?”

Representative: “No, I cannot do that. What is your name?”

Me: “[My Name].”

Representative: “That is not the name on the account.”

Me: “I know it’s not. That is my name. Someone else used their own name, but they used my email address.”

Representative: “I am sorry, but if you cannot verify the name, I cannot cancel the account.”

Me: “So you’re saying that you are willingly allowing someone who is not me to use my email address for your website?”

Representative: “I am sorry, but if you cannot verify the name on the account, I cannot cancel the account.”

After trying once more to get the representative to understand my problem, I gave up and hung up. I tried calling the customer service number twice more to see if another representative could understand my issue, but no luck. So, eventually, I had to create a completely new email address JUST for [Major Online Retailer] in order to set up my new tablet.

I am working a late shift as a cashier when a trio of students from a local university, judging by their sweatshirts, come into my lane pushing a cart full of what is probably all the personal lubricant we had on the shelves.

Student #1: “Do you think this is enough to make a slip-n-slide indoors?”

Me: “Uh…”

Student #2: “Eh, don’t worry, [Student #1]. We have until Saturday. We’ll figure it out by then.”

They came in a few times after that, but most of their purchases were perfectly normal things. I wish I had asked them if it was enough.

Related:
This Cannot End Well