(I see a very lost- and confused-looking lady approaching other customers at random, most of whom walk away from her in a hurry. I catch up to her in the toy department and ask if I can help her with anything.)

Customer: “Oh, yes, finally! I’m just looking for charcoal lighter fluid. I thought it would be over here.”

Me: “Our lighter fluid is in the garden center. You’ll see it there, next to the grills, as soon as you walk in.”

Customer: “Well, why isn’t here? I think it should be here. It’s in garden? That makes no sense; I don’t understand.”

Me: “Well, no, this is the toy department, we don’t keep lighter fluid here!”

Customer: “But why? I don’t understand why it isn’t over here. Why isn’t it here?”

Me: “Because you definitely don’t want kids playing with lighter fluid! It’s in the garden center, I’ll show you where it is.”

Customer: “Oh, no. I know it’s not out there. I’m sure it’s here in this area somewhere; I’ll keep looking.”

(And with that, she wandered off, mumbling about how she “didn’t understand” why we don’t keep lighter fluid in the toy department.)

(I’m the customer int his one. Note that I grew up in Oregon, which has no sales tax.)

Employee: “Your total is X.”

Me: *confused* “I don’t think that’s right…I’m pretty sure it should be [lower amount].”

Employee: “Yes, plus sales tax.”

Me: “Oh…sorry, forgot about that…”

(I’m sad to say that this has happened more than once while traveling. I think I’ve finally learned though, and am glad everyone has been so patient with me in the meantime.)

(I’m at the customer service desk to return a skirt. I place the skirt on the counter and HAND the receipt directly to the cashier, who places it on her desk under her monitor.)

Cashier: “I don’t recognise this skirt. You know you can’t return an item without a receipt, right?”

Me: “I bought the skirt here nine days ago; it says that on the receipt I just gave you.”

Cashier: “I can’t exchange it if it’s not from this store, either. You need a receipt.”

Me: “I don’t understand what you mean. I’ve got a receipt and it’s well within the 28-day return period?”

Cashier: “Look. I’m not going to argue with you. Without your receipt, I can’t and won’t help you.”

Me: “I’ve literally just given you the receipt. What are you talking about?”

(I’m getting a little flustered now and notice a manager walking nearby.)

Me: “Excuse me! I’m really sorry, but I think we need help over here.”

Manager: “What’s the issue?”

Cashier: “She’s trying to get a refund for a skirt we don’t carry. I keep telling her she needs a receipt, but she won’t listen.”

Manager: “Is that right? I’m sorry, but without a receipt, we can only excha—“

Cashier: “No! Not if we don’t carry it!”

(The manager looks weirdly at the cashier.)

Manager: “We do carry this.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but she has my receipt right there!” *points at monitor* “She’s had it the entire time.”

Manager: *to cashier* “What? If you’ve got the receipt, what’s the problem? Just go on break; we’ll talk about your conduct after.” *to me* “I’m so sorry. I’ll refund you straight away. Would you like a free coffee voucher for the trouble?”

(The cashier storms off into the store.)

Me: *laughs* “I think I just need a lie down after all that. As long as I get the refund, it’s fine!”

(I work in a clothing store that is marketed towards and frequented by female teachers. I am just finishing up my undergrad in elementary education. We have a discount for teachers who can provide some sort of proof — ID, paystubs, etc. — that they’re teachers and I always like to talk to the people who ask about the discount and pick their brains about teaching.)

Customer: “You guys have a teachers’ discount, right? For 25% off?”

(She looks about my age, if not younger, which immediately makes me think she’s a student, and not actually a teacher, but I give her the benefit of the doubt.)

Me: “It’s actually 15% off, but only off of full-price items, and everything you’re getting today is on sale, so I can’t add it on top of that.”

Customer: “Oh, okay!”

Me: “What do you teach?”

Customer: “Oh, um, actually, I’m doing Teach for America.”

Me: “Nice. I’m just finishing studying education at [Local University] and I’ll be starting my student teaching in the fall.”

Customer: “I actually got a degree in advertising, but I’m going to New Mexico next year for the program.”

Me: “Ah, okay.”

(Girl, you’re a year out from the job and you want a discount? Get your non-education going-into-education BS away from me.)

I work in a well known store in the Netherlands. It is a store that sells pretty much everything, so I’m used to people asking me about strange things. But not this one. Once in a while we have customers that don’t speak Dutch. This Asian looking woman was walking towards me with a baby in a stroller.

Me (in Dutch): Welcome, how can I help you today?

Woman (in English with a bad accent): Hi, I am looking for cahh-bon.

Me (English): I’m not sure what you mean, can you explain what you use it for?

Woman: *tries to explain and point to her daughter in the stroller* For the babies, my baby! Cahh-bon.

I still don’t understand her so she pulls out her phone and tries to translate the word from English to Dutch. Her phone reads the word ‘carbon’.

Woman: Cahh-bon!

Me: Oh, carbon! What would you need that for with a baby?

Woman: For the baby!

I wasn’t very good with chemistry in school but I do know that carbon is not very healthy for a child. I tried to ask my co-worker who is a mother of a newborn but she also didn’t know.