I Am Metal, You Are Glue

, , , , , | | Right | May 15, 2019

(I am in line at the local hardware store behind an older, very traditional man. The cashier is a young girl who has worked there for a few years and has quite a few facial piercings, some visible tattoos, and brightly-coloured hair. She’s always extremely polite and cheerful whenever I’m there. I noticed the man very harshly looking at her appearance.)

Cashier: “Is that all, sir?”

Customer: “What’s with all that crap in your face and on your arms?”

Cashier: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “All that metal in your face. Why? You’re kind of pretty to begin with, but that does nothing for your looks. It makes you look so ugly.”

(I can tell the cashier is getting quite uncomfortable and trying to hurry the customer out.)

Customer: “Do your parents let you do that? If so, there’s something wrong with them. And your boss should never have hired you. You look so uneducated and stupid; you’ll probably be working a crappy job like this forever. It’s obvious you never finished high school and aren’t going anywhere with your life. Do you have a boyfriend? There’s probably something wrong with him, too. I mean, you look so slutty.”

(By this time, her manager and a couple other employees have come up behind the customer, just listening to what he is saying. He doesn’t notice they are there.)

Customer: “Oh, and—”

(She cuts him off.)

Cashier: “You know, sir, there’s a little saying my mom taught me that goes, ‘If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.’ I’ll have you know I’ve worked this job for over three years and have never had a problem with my appearance. Luckily, I have a job that lets me express myself. And, for your information, I had straight As in high school, play five different instruments, speak three languages, and have been accepted to university overseas. Furthermore, sir, there is absolutely nothing wrong with my family or my boyfriend. They respect me for having enough courage to be the kind of person I want to be. Now, if you have nothing nice to say, please leave.”

Customer: *furious* “You little b****. I’m going to report you to your manager!”

Manager: “No need. I saw the whole thing.”

Customer: “Good! Then you’ll fire her right away.”

Manager: “Sir, I assure you she’ll receive a fitting consequence. Now, as for you, you are now banned from this store, am I clear? We will not tolerate the harassment of our employees. Have a nice day.”

(The man stormed out of the store, yelling all kinds of curses at the employees. He was so mad, he even forgot the items he paid for.)

In Receipt Of Stolen Goods

, , , , , | | Right | May 15, 2019

(I am working as a cashier at a chain retail store with a pharmacy. A woman comes in with a return. Keep in mind that there is a lot of receipt fraud happening on a daily basis. People have been stealing receipts out of the garbage and stealing products that are listed on the receipts in order to return them for money. They’ve also been using high-dollar coupons on products and then returning the items a few days later to get the full value back. Therefore, when a customer comes in with a return, I have gotten into the habit of studying the receipt to check for coupons used, the date of the purchase, the location of the purchase, or anything that seems fishy. A woman is returning a tube of Cortizone-10, as well as a few other items on her receipt. I look at the receipt and I immediately notice that a $1 manufacturers’ coupon was used on the Cortizone-10. I look at the box of Cortizone-10 being returned and I see an unused $1-off coupon, still fully intact, in plain view, stickered on the outside of the box. So, I try using logic:)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. I see that a $1-off coupon was used on this Cortizone-10.” *points to the coupon still on the box* “Is this the coupon that was used?”

Customer: “Yeah…”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s not possible. There’s no way that we would leave the coupon on the box after scanning it. We peel it off, scan it, and keep it in the register.”

(And yes, we add them up at the end of the night. The customer looks at me as if I have just spoken Greek. She doesn’t get angry or upset, but she seems completely confused as if she doesn’t understand that I have just caught her. She doesn’t seem to understand the mechanics behind my explanation about how coupons are processed. Chances are, she probably didn’t even notice the $1 coupon that was processed on her stolen receipt.)

Customer: *in a daze* “Oh… Well… I don’t know why they did that.”

(I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. I considered the possibility that maybe some other $1 coupon was used in the original transaction. I asked her to put in her phone number to see if her rewards account number matched the account number on the receipt. If she could prove the receipt was hers, she’d get her refund, simple as that. She tried two different phone numbers and, sure enough, neither of them matched the rewards account that was used on the receipt. I declined the return because there was enough evidence that this receipt wasn’t hers and the products were stolen. I apologized and told her that I could not process the return. She said many stores have been giving her problems about it and she wasn’t sure why. She left the store. She wasn’t upset, but she seemed very spacey and confused about the situation. I was almost convinced that someone else had put her up to this and that she was completely innocent and unaware of the criminal activity taking place. I pondered how somebody who was in this mental state could even find and steal the correct products that were listed on a receipt. Where do these people come from?)

It’s Worse Than De Ting

, , , , , | | Right | May 14, 2019

(I work in a small store that sells random items, similar to a liquidation store. Most of our items are posted on a social media marketplace where people can message in on an item they’re interested in, and we send them a copied-and-pasted message off our cell phone’s clipboard giving them our store’s information such as hours, location, and the fact that we are a business and not a private seller. They are very free to walk in and pay for the item, which happens often for various reasons. Unfortunately, wives have a tendency to send over their husbands with little to no explanation of what they want, as if we only have one thing to sell. I have conversations similar to this one almost daily.)

Customer: “Hi! My wife messaged someone here about a thing.” *literally just says “thing”*

Me: “All righty, what are we looking for, exactly?”

Customer: “I don’t know… It’s like a house… thing.”

Me: “Did she prepay for it?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Do you have the picture from the ad?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Are you able to call your wife and ask what the item is?”

Customer: “She’s working.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “…”

Me: “…”

Customer: “So, do you know where it is?”

Me: “…”

Related:
DE TING, DE TING!!!

The Drugs Don’t Work

, , , , , , | | Friendly | May 13, 2019

(I work with a 15-year-old who thinks she knows everything. I get on with most of my coworkers, but as I am in my 20s and they are mostly teenagers, I don’t associate with them outside of work. They often go partying together.)

15-Year-Old: “What sort of drugs do you like?”

Me: “I’ve never done drugs.”

15-Year-Old: “Are you an idiot? How are you going to fit in and find friends if you don’t do what everyone else does?”

Me: “I have no interest in fitting in with anyone, and I have my own friends.”

15-Year-Old: “That’s just stupid. No wonder no one here ever invites you out. I’m sure some of the guys would take you out if you did drugs with them. You are always going to be alone if you don’t do what everyone else does.”

Me: “I got engaged without ever having to do drugs with anyone.”

One Fine Day With A Cluck And An Oink…

, , , | | Right | May 12, 2019

(I work at a popular supermarket as a self-checkout host. It’s a day before Thanksgiving, and all registers are full. I have a woman in her late 20s or early 30s with two toddlers come up to me with this gem.)

Woman: “Excuse me. I have a question.”

Me: *expecting the worst, but being my friendly self* “Sure, what’s up?”

Woman: *in all seriousness, holds a frozen turkey to me* “Is this made of pork?”

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