The Last “G” Is Silent

, , , , , | Working | October 19, 2017

(I am at a bagel place and have just placed my order.)

Employee: “Can I get your name for the order?”

Me: “Gregory.”

Employee: “We can only fit six letters. Can I put ‘Greg?’”

Me: “Sure.”

Employee: “Is there one ‘G’ or two in that?”

Me: “One.”

(A few minutes later:)

Other Employee: “Order for Gre! Order for Gre!” *he pronounces this “gree,” like “tree”*

Me: “Do you mean Greg?”

First Employee: “You said Greg with one ‘G.’ That’s what I put.”

Their Opinion On The Matter Is Locked

, , , , , | Right | October 19, 2017

(Our store door has three locks, one of which is an outer hasp which must be turned and locked with a key. It is right next to both the store’s hours and the “Closed” sign. I have locked the door and am nearly done with closing duties when a customer pulls on the door, then sees me and knocks insistently when it won’t open.)

Me: *opens door a little* “Hi—”

Customer: *overrides me* “Are you closed?”

Me: “Yes, sorry.”

Customer: “Well, you should’ve locked your door.”

(The customer then flipped the still-open hasp and walked off before I could inquire how, precisely, I was supposed to lock myself in from the outside while I was still in the store.)

Rated “M” For Misogyny

, , , , | Working | October 19, 2017

(I go with my brother and my mom to buy a game that recently came out. I am 17. The cashier gives the usual “did you find everything” speech. While this is happening, my brother is looking at other games, and I’m with my mom.)

Cashier: *to my mom* “Also, ma’am, I just need to tell you about the rating of this game. I don’t think it’s suitable for your son.”

Mom: “Actually, this game is for my daughter.”

(The cashier was quiet through the rest of the transaction.)

Textbook Case Of Textbook Loss

, , , , , , | Learning | October 19, 2017

(I’m the idiot in this story, but it’s not entirely my fault. I’ve had to order this particular textbook online twice now, as the first one never arrived and the vendor could not provide me with accurate tracking information. I have been waiting for a week now for the second copy, and classes have long since started.)

Me: “Hey, [Roommate], did you get the mail?”

Roommate: “Yeah, it’s on the table.”

(My textbook is not among the mail on the table. I continue checking the mailbox for several days, to no avail. Finally, I give up hope and email the vendor, hoping for a refund.)

Me: “I never received this item. Can I have a refund, please?”

Representative: “Certainly! I just need [personal details] to process the refund.”

(I provide the details they need. At this point, the email thread changes tone, so I can only assume that a different person is on the other end.)

Representative: “Upon looking at your order, your tracking number is [number], and according to the carrier website, your item was delivered several days ago. Please check around your porch area.”

(I go to find my roommate.)

Me: “Are you sure I haven’t received anything in the mail recently?”

Roommate: “Oh, yeah! I have this book that isn’t for any of my classes. Maybe it’s yours?”

(It turns out she’d just assumed that all of the textbooks that had come in the mail were hers! Still, I’m the one who had to email the company back with a shamefaced apology. I’m sure they thought I was trying to scam them!)

Dealing With Ignorance Is A Lottery

, , , , , | Working | October 19, 2017

(I run a lottery pool at work and buy tickets every week. The lottery that we buy tickets for has a draw twice a week. For simplicity’s sake, I like to get one ticket that covers both draws. This happens almost every time I go to buy one.)

Me: “I’d like a ticket for [Lottery], please, for the next two draws.”

Clerk: “Huh?”

Me: “I’d like a ticket that has the same number for both the Wednesday and the Saturday draw.”

Clerk: “Then you want two tickets.”

Me: “No. Two tickets would be two different numbers. I want just one ticket for both draws.”

Clerk: “We don’t do that.”

Me: “Um, yes, you do. I buy tickets like that all the time.”

Clerk: “No, we don’t.” *turns to more experienced colleague* “Right?”

Colleague: “Actually, we do. Here, I’ll show you.”

Clerk: “But, that means that the ticket will cost $8 instead of $4.” *gives me a triumphant “Gotcha” expression*

Me: “Yes, that’s right.” *holds out the $8 that I had all ready to go*

Clerk: “Oh.”

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