I have ADHD and keep a bright purple fidget toy attached to my belt with a carabiner whenever I’m at work. (It keeps me from zoning out if I’m under- or over-stimulated, which is really important because if I start to zone out then it can take upwards of ten seconds to get my attention — not a good look to customers, coworkers, or managers.) 

One day, my manager calls me to the customer service desk for something or other. As I start backing up to walk away, she speaks up again.

Manager: “What’s that on your belt?”

Me: “It’s a fidget toy.”

I unclip it and hold it up to show her.

Manager: “Can I try?”

Me: “Sure.”

I hand it over and she stares at it. She looks almost mesmerized as she slowly and methodically flips the switches, clicks the buttons, and circles the tiny joystick, oblivious to anything else. This goes on for longer than I expected, and I start to squirm.

Me: “Could… Could I have it back? There are customers waiting for me.”

Manager: “Huh? Oh, yeah, here you go.”

I clipped it back to my belt and speed-walked back to my area, all the while playing with the joystick. I’ve had plenty of people ask what it was, and one or two little kids have tried to grab it, but I’ve never seen someone so thoroughly engrossed!

An older male customer comes in asking for a refund. I direct him to my nearest manager since the item is waaaaay outside the return range. It should be noted that my manager is a Muslim woman, wearing a hijab.

Female Manager: “Sir, I’m sorry, but you purchased this item over a year ago. I can’t give you a refund, but I can offer you store credit.”

Customer: “Get me a manager!”

Female Manager: “Sir, I am a manager.”

The customer sneers at her, looking her up and down.

Customer: “They let [slur]s like you become managers?!”

Another manager, a white male, is passing by and hears this specific statement.

Male Manager: “What’s going on here?”

Female Manager: *Maintaining an amazing level of professionalism* “This customer would like to return this item that was purchased thirteen months ago.”

Male Manager: *To the customer* “No can do. You need to leave now.”

Customer: “Are you the top guy around here? Maybe we can figure this out.”

Male Manager: “I’m not in a position to figure out anything for you. You might be able to get store credit from the store manager, but I can’t give you anything.”

Customer: “Well, go get him, then!”

The male manager and I, both smiling, point back toward our manager in the hijab.

Female Manager: “That would be me. You need to leave now.”

Customer: “Sorry, that was before I realized you were a store manager. I’m happy to accept your offer of store credit.”

Female Manager: “And that offer was before I realized you were a racist a**hole. You won’t even be getting store credit now.”

Customer: “You f****** [slur]! We should have wiped you all out in Desert Storm!”

Female Manager: “My family moved here in the sixties from Pakistan. Desert Storm was in the nineties and was in Iraq. You can’t even get your racist history right!”

Male Manager: “That’s enough of that. Please leave now, sir.”

Customer: “You f****** traitor to your people!”

Male Manager: “You are not my people. Now shoo! Or do I need to call security?”

The customer gives us the finger and storms out, shouting that he’s gonna call up the news and “get Hannity to tell the nation that our chain trains terrorists”. 

Male Manager: “Ooh! Free publicity!”

This story shows how all retail should work. Some twenty years ago, we got some extra unexpected money. We decided to treat ourselves to a new, big flat-screen TV. Our first visit was to our local store. (We live in a small city.)

I explained what we were looking for (46″ or larger, 100Hz), and the salesperson showed us an expensive [Brand #1]. The price was already reduced to €1,999 (from €2,499 if my memory is correct) but it was a bit too expensive.

Next, he showed us a nice [Brand #2], and the price was €1,199. But before we said anything, he reduced it to €1,099 and then €999. We said we would consider the offer and went to a larger city nearby to get some options.

At [Big Chain Retail #1], we looked at all the large TV sets displayed on the wall and at the four salespeople talking to each other. After ten minutes, we left. No one wanted to sell anything to us.

At [Big Chain Retail #2], we encountered the same thing. We looked at the large TV sets and the staff talking to each other and didn’t bother.

At [Big Chain Retail #3], we found someone willing to sell, but unfortunately, they only had smaller than 40″ and larger than 52″.

We went back to our local store and bought the [Brand #2].

Happily, we unpacked and started the new TV, but the image was flickering. I checked the specs and found that it was 50Hz only. Time to pick up the phone and call the seller.

I told him that our new TV was only 50Hz. He was quiet for a while and then responded.

Employee: “S***! My mistake! I am so sorry. Your TV has a V in the model name; the 100Hz has W. I will call you back.”

Five minutes passed before he called back.

Employee: “I can replace your TV with the same kind but 100Hz for free. But! That model is outgoing, and there is a small chance that I can’t get one for you. If so, I can give you the [Brand #1] set you were interested in, but then I have to add €100 to the price. How about that?”

The next day, staff from the store came with the [Brand #1] TV and replaced the [Brand #2]. They unpacked and set up the TV, and they took all of the packaging with them. I ended up with a much better TV and paid less than half of the original price.

Guess which store I do all my purchases in now!

Me: “Oh, that’s such a lovely dining set! And you’re in luck as that’s half off this week!”

Customer: “No, thank you. Full price, please.” 

Me: “You… don’t want to pay the sale price?”

Customer: “No, I don’t want the sale. I need to be able to tell my friends at dinner how much I spent on this. Why are you trying to take that away from me?” 

Wow, rich people really do have different problems.

During the summer of 2020, I worked in customer service for an online retailer. It was the worst job I’ve ever worked. While most people were polite, kind, and understanding, I had to deal with many people who were (often justifiably) upset about a problem with their order, but even then, most people would be sure to say their anger was not directed toward me. Faking sympathy for these people was hard enough, but then there would be people berating me personally as if I had something to do with whatever problem they were complaining about.

One day, the system we used to track peoples’ orders was down. I wouldn’t be able to cancel orders, check when shipping dates were, change shipping addresses, nothing. The supervisor told us to tell the customers to call back in an hour, at which point the system would hopefully be back up. Again, most people understood that there was literally nothing I could do to modify their orders and said they would call back later.

This one lady calls me who is upset about something and wants me to cancel her order.

Me: “I apologize for the inconvenience, ma’am, but I can’t cancel orders at the moment as our system is down. Call back in an hour and we should be able to take care of it.”

She is not happy with the response, and she starts going off.

Caller: “That’s unacceptable! I don’t have time to call later! Just take down my information now and do it later once your system is back up. This is horrible customer service!”

And so on.

I constantly have calls coming in, so I can’t be dealing with her problem at the same time as speaking to another customer. More importantly, my shift is going to be finished in twenty minutes, and I’m sure as h*** not waiting around for the system to be back up and doing overtime to cancel this lady’s order, especially with her rude, entitled attitude.

Eventually, she decides that she has had enough of me and asks to speak with my supervisor. The summer of 2020 is the peak of the global health crisis, so I am working from home. I explain the situation.

Me: “I can’t just pass the phone to my supervisor, but what I can do is escalate the issue by putting in a ticket, and a supervisor will call you back in twenty-four to forty-eight hours.”

Of course, this is not good enough for her. She is yelling at me at this point, going on and on about how awful this customer service is, and she is not accepting that there is nothing I can do at the moment. She decides she doesn’t want to speak to me anymore and screeches at me:

Caller: “Just transfer me to anyone else; I don’t care. I don’t want to speak to you anymore!”

Me: “Okay, just give me a moment.”

As I was thinking, “You did say ANYONE,” I transferred her to the Spanish customer service line.