Cosplay Is Here To Stay

, , , , | | Right | May 22, 2018

(Every Saturday, I work as a professional cosplayer at an anime store inside the largest mall in town. I work with five other girls, and our job is to stand in the windows and wave to people while wearing elaborate costumes. One day at the end of my shift, a woman passes by my window and glares at me. A few minutes later, I see her enter the store and ask for my manager.)

Woman: “What are they doing in the windows?”

Manager: “Every Saturday is cosplay day; our models wear their best costumes and pose in the windows.”

Woman: *going red in the face* “They are ruining the view in the mall!”

Manager: “Excuse me?”

Woman: “These harlots are ruining my view! I will never shop here again. I hope you go out of business and burn in hell!”

Manager: *pause* “Have a great day, miss!”

(Needless to say, the woman had to be escorted out. To this day, I still wonder what “the view in the mall” is.)

Need To Foster A New Roster

, , , , | | Working | May 22, 2018

(I get a phone call from work one morning.)

Coworker: *sounding angry* “[My Name], where are you? You should have been here 15 minutes ago.”

Me: “I’m not supposed to be working today.”

Coworker: “Yes, you are; it’s on the roster.”

(I quickly dress and rush in, thinking I have read the roster wrong. I double-check the roster when I arrive and find that my name has been handwritten onto the typed roster. I end up talking to the coworker who called me; she works in our office and is normally a self-entitled b****.)

Me: “When was my name written on this?”

Coworker: “I wrote it on [Day before yesterday], after [Manager] told me you were needed.”

Me: “Why didn’t you call me about it? I didn’t know about this change.”

Coworker: “It’s not up to me to call you; you should be checking your roster every day without fail.”

Me: “So, I am supposed to come in on my days off just so I can check the roster?”

Coworker: “Stop being an idiot; you are supposed to check your roster after every shift.”

Me: “My last shift was four days ago. Tell me again how I was supposed to know that my roster had been changed without my knowledge.”

Coworker: “WELL, HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT?”

Me: “By reading the roster.”

Not Using Their Grey Matter

, , , , | | Right | May 21, 2018

(It’s Thanksgiving night, and the women’s clothing store where I work is open and selling away for Black Friday. Black Friday brings out the crazies, and this is no exception. We have a visitor from out of state who is in constant need of attention and help. My coworker and I can’t leave her side, and most of our interactions go like this:)

Customer: “I love these navy pants. Can I get them in grey, too?”

Me: “No, ma’am, I’m sorry. Unfortunately, we don’t carry our bootleg pants in grey. The only grey pants we have are our trouser fit.”

Customer: “Oh, let me try those!”

Me: “You already have, ma’am. Remember? The black ones. We didn’t have your size in the grey, but we said we could order them for you in the color you wanted and it would ship to your house.”

Customer: “Oh, yes. I don’t need any black pants, though.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I know. We just had you try the black ones on to see if you liked the fit. The grey ones we are ordering for you fit the exact same way.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Can I get those in navy, too?”

Me: “I’m sorry. We don’t have our trouser pants in navy. Only grey, black, white, and brown.”

Customer: “I only need grey. Let me try on the grey ones.”

Me: “We don’t have your size in the grey, remember? That’s why you tried on the black. Those are the ones we’re shipping to you?”

Customer: “Ah, yes, yes. yes. Like the ones I’m wearing now. Only grey.”

Me: “Nope. The ones you’re wearing now are our bootleg pants.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, can I get them in grey?”

Me: “We only sell our bootleg pants in black and navy.”

Customer: “But I don’t need black pants. I need grey pants.”

(This went on for two hours. She finally checked out and we made sure we explained everything that was going to happen very carefully. She seemed to finally understand, and we thought nothing more of it. A few weeks later, we got a phone call from a very frustrated store in her home state. She had apparently called them, very irate, because the package they delivered to her was the wrong pant. She wanted the grey bootleg pant — which doesn’t exist — and they sent her the grey trouser pant — which she ordered. When they tried to explain that to her, she demanded a refund. You just can’t help crazy.)

This Job Literally Encourages Drinking

, , , , , , | | Working | May 21, 2018

(I’m a front-end supervisor at a high-volume store. I notice one day that my manager has scheduled me to close the front end and open the next day.)

Me: “Hey, I saw the schedule and I noticed that I only have eight hours between shifts. I know that it’s legal, but I live 45 minutes away and there is no way I can fall asleep right when I get home. Can this be changed?”

Boss: “Okay, so, here’s a secret that I learned. What you do is take a capsule of Zzzquil, then open a bottle of wine. Do not stop drinking the wine, and you will fall asleep.”

(I didn’t take that advice.)

Keeping The Line Moving Is Moving

, , , | | Hopeless | May 20, 2018

(I am a manager at a popular discount store, known for being constantly understaffed and having ridiculously long lines. We also don’t have the nicest customers. I’ve had a lot of people quit for getting cussed and screamed at over things that were out of their control. It’s a Friday, and it’s already a s***show. Two cashiers called out, and another cashier had to leave in the middle of her shift for a family emergency, leaving one cashier and me to run the registers and get through a line of 50 to 60 people, and a fitting room attendant who is also swamped with people. A little old lady comes up to my register with two large and heavy dining sets.)

Old Woman: “I know it’s very busy, but do you think it would be possible to have someone bring these dishes to my car? I’m parked in the first row, so it’s not very far.”

(I bite my lip. Our shopping carts don’t go outside because they have a pole attached that stops them. Due to liability, employees aren’t allowed in the parking lot while on the clock, not even to help take purchases to a customer’s car. Not to mention, only three people are working in the store right now, so even if we could, one of us would have to hop off register to help, leaving only one cashier.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am… Unfortunately, we’re not allowed to step into the parking lot while on the clock. But if you would like to pull your car up to the curb, you can leave your cart here and I will watch it for you. One of us can hop off register and get it into your car for you.”

(The woman nods and accepts the help as-is. Then, a younger, male customer in line starts to push his way to the front of the line, abandoning his cart right in the middle.)

Male Customer: “Don’t worry about it, miss. I’ll help take her things to her car.”

Old Woman: “Oh, no, you don’t have to do that. You’ll lose your place in that line. I’m sure I can manage.”

Male Customer: “I’m in no hurry. I don’t mind waiting again.”

(The male customer turns to address the line.)

Male Customer: “Y’all can just push my cart out of the line; I’ll come back for it later.”

(His cart is bordered by a middle-aged couple and a woman with her kid in a car seat. They all shake their heads.)

Middle-Aged Couple: “We’ll push your cart through the line. We’ll save your spot.”

Male Customer: “Are you sure? You don’t have to do that.”

Mom Customer: “Don’t worry about it. We’ve got you!”

(I thank the customer profusely for helping the old woman out so that neither I, nor my cashier, have to sacrifice the current speed of the line. He gives me a big smile.)

Male Customer: “My mama would have my throat if I didn’t help someone in need. Y’all just keep doing what you’re doing; you’re doing a great job!”

(The guy picked up both of the dish sets at the same time and walked them to the old woman’s car. While he was gone, his shopping cart skipped the entire line to the front, so when he got back, he was next to checkout. Just shows that sometimes there are very good and nice people in this world!)

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