Mining That Game For All Its Worth

, , , , | General | August 9, 2017

(I am currently working in the children’s section of a large clothing store. A woman and her young son come up to me.)

Customer: “Excuse me; where are your Minecraft belts?”

(We sell a lot of Minecraft clothes for kids, but most of them are shirts and jackets. I’ve never seen a Minecraft-themed belt in any other store, let alone ours.)

Me: “Pardon me — a Minecraft BELT, you said?”

Customer: “Yes. We saw them in here just a few days ago!”

(I’m sceptical of this claim, but I decide to try to do my best with her.)

Me: “I don’t believe I’ve seen any belts like that down here recently; if we had any, they’d be over in our boy’s belt section. I can take you over there to check, if you’d like.”

Customer: “Yes. I KNOW we saw them!”

(I lead the woman over to where we keep the belts for boys. Immediately I can see that we have nothing Minecraft-themed over here.)

Customer: “Ah, see! THERE they are.”

(She immediately grabs an ordinary belt that has a camouflage pattern on it, which just so happens to use square patterns; what’s known as a “digital camouflage.”)

Customer: “See? I knew you had them!”

(I was speechless… Apparently, anything square-shaped or pixelated is “Minecraft” these days!)

Getting Stupider By The Generation

, , , , , | Related | August 9, 2017

(I’m pregnant and recently started showing, which has lead to many comments from customers. Also, the pregnancy has lead me to make lots of silly mistakes which I largely blame on pregnancy brain.)

Me: “Sorry about that. My daughter stole my brain cells and she won’t give them back.”

Customer: “I’m sure she’ll give them back eventually. I feel like I’ve just started to get back some brain power from my daughter.”

Me: “Oh? How old is she?”

Customer: “14.”

Me: “…”

Giving Them Credit For Enduring For So Long

, , , , , | Right | August 9, 2017

(I work at a popular home improvement store. During the morning, the fire alarm had gone off and because of it, I am partially deaf. This happens ten or so minutes after the alarm is turned off.)

Me: *picks up phone* “Appliances. How can I help you?”

Customer: *muffled voice & thick accent* “Yes, I mmmph fridge mmmph pick up mmph thirty mmmph house.”

Me: “…I’m sorry, did you say you wanted a fridge delivered to your house in thirty minutes?”

Customer: “Yes. I mmmph mmph like 5 or 6 mmph. Your mmph website mmmph I like mmph want fridge.”

Me: “…sir, we won’t be able to deliver today. Our delivery is pushed out several days, and all of our appliances are delivered from a warehouse in Dallas, so—”

Customer: *muffled voice gets slightly clearer* “Oh, that’s fine. Whenever you can deliver it.”

Me: “Are you wanting to purchase over the phone?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “And you’re paying by credit card, correct?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: *begins setting up order despite still having a hard time hearing him*

Customer: “Can I pay for this in like a payment plan? How many months will it take?”

Me: “Well… uh, we have a [Company] credit card. You can get special financing. Six months no interest.”

Customer: “Yes. That.”

Me: “Do you have a [Company] account?”

Customer: “No. How do I get one?”

Me: “Well, you can apply either online on our website or in the store.”

Customer: “Can I apply over the phone?”

Me: “No, sir. The application needs your social security number and state ID, and that is information I am not allowed to take over the phone.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. So, just apply online?”

Me: “Yes. If you go to the top section, there’s a button that says ‘Credit Center.’ Click that.”

Customer: “Let me just make sure I’m on the right website.”

Me: “…sir, you told me earlier you were on our website.”

Customer: “Yes, but I want to make sure it’s the right one. Is it spelled [spells out website]?”

Me: “Yes. That is correct.”

Customer: “Okay, I clicked it.”

Me: “All right. You should see the application page. It’ll probably take you about five minutes. You can call me back when you’re done.”

Customer: *ignores what I’ve just said* “Do I fill out my name?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “And my address?”

Me: “…yes.”

Customer: “And my phone number?”

Me: “…yess…”

Customer: “…and my annual salary?”

Me: “…yesss…”

(This continues on for the entire application and I end up having to stay on the line with him while he waited three minutes for his application to process — which didn’t approve him.)

Hopefully They’re Not Taking Physics

, , , | Right | August 8, 2017

Customer: “Hello, I’m going back to college as a mature student and I need a bag that’s easy on my back and light.”

Me: “Okay, the best bag for your back carrying college books would be a backpack. It spreads the weight evenly.”

Customer: “Oh, no, no. I’m a mature student and I just couldn’t wear one of those. I’m too old. I need something over the shoulder, but light, very light. I’ll have lots of books.”

Me: “I wouldn’t say you’re too old but whatever you prefer. If you have a lot of books then I’d recommend this black nylon satchel with metal clips. It should last you and it’s a very light material.”

(She takes the satchel and off she pops. Next weekend however she’s back.)

Customer: “Hello, I bought this here last week and it was very light but when I took it home and put books in it, it was heavy. Can I exchange it?”

Me: “Yeah, sure, why not?”

Their Common Sense Is Disabled

, , , , | Working | August 8, 2017

(This has happened at least once with each of my managers and a couple coworkers when my mother has come to pick me up from work.)

Manager: *sees my mum parked in the disability car spot* “Why is your mum parked in the disability spot? She can’t park there!”

Me: “Um, yes, she can.”

Manager: “She can only park there if she has a disability!”

Me: “Yeah, pretty sure the disability sticker in her windscreen and the fact she can’t walk unassisted means she can park there.”

(Which is often followed by them suddenly very busy tidying or intently inspecting something nearby.)

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