Delivery Comes Standard, Insolence Is Extra

, , , | Right | February 20, 2018

(The store I work for allows customers to order merchandise online in the store and have it delivered to the store or their home. I am cashiering and a customer enters.)

Customer: “I need to know if my keyboard has been delivered. I ordered it on Thursday.”

(I page the appropriate person — we have radios with earpieces — and they inform me.)

Me: “I am afraid it hasn’t, but will probably be in later today, since no deliveries were made yesterday because of Labor Day.”

Customer: *irate* “They said it would be here Friday! I need it today!”

Me: “I apologize for the misunderstanding. Packages sometimes take more than one day with delivery, and that since it was ordered Thursday, today is the second possible day it could arrive. It should be there this afternoon, at the latest.”

Customer: *huffy* “Well, that doesn’t help me now!

(She leaves. For the next two hours, the day progresses as usual and I kind of forget about it. Customers who get huffy because they don’t pay attention are nothing new. But then she comes back, slaps a receipt down on the table, and says:)

Customer: “I want my money back for this!”

Me: *smiles* “Absolutely.” *processes her refund* “It has been credited directly back to your credit card. Have a wonderful day!”

Customer: “Oh, I will, because I’m going to [Competitor] where they have the product and aren’t going to be insolent and rude about not getting it to me when they promised!”

Me: *squealing, my smile broadening* “That sounds fabulous!”

(Out she goes with a huff. I prepare to forget it again, when less than five minutes later I am paged via earpiece:)

Coworker: “Hey, that package for [Customer] arrived!”

Me: “Funny story about that!”

Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 9

, , , , , | Right | February 20, 2018

(There is a beach volleyball tournament going on this weekend. My store manager is running a tent there and giving away coupons. Each person is really only supposed to have one of two: the one for 20% off for being at the tournament, or the other for 25% off, specifically for fitness trainers. There are two ladies in the store shopping together.)

Customer #1: “Hi, I got these coupons over at the tournament and I’d love to use both of them.”

Me: “Oh, okay! Huh, I thought my manager told me she was only handing out one kind. Are you a fitness trainer?

Customer #1: “Well, no… but I got them both.”

(I’m not sure if she lied to our manager, since it says right on the coupon, in large print, “For Fitness Trainers,” or if our manager was just feeling generous. It may be the latter, and none of us feel like arguing, since it is a laidback day, so I apply them both.)

Me: “Okay, here is your total, with both coupons applied.”

Customer #2: “Oh, wow! Look at that discount!” *to her friend* “You should definitely get that vest you wanted.”

Customer #1: “Yeah!

(She goes over to get a 30%-off vest she has had an eye on and adds it to the total. Since I’ve already applied the codes for the coupons, it takes the additional discounts off of the coat.)

Me: “Okay, this is your new total.”

Customer #2: *furrows her brow* “Huh, that still seems pretty expensive… and this is before the coupons for the jacket, right?”

Me: “Oh, no, the coupons are already added.”

(I show them on the screen what the new price of the jacket is.)

Customer #1: “No, that doesn’t seem right… This jacket was 30% off, right?”

Me: “Yes. It’s normally $100, then the 30% off makes it $70. With these additional coupons, the jacket goes down to $42, which is more than half off the original price.”

Customer #2: “But it should have taken off more than that. I don’t think you rang it right.”

Me: “Well, how about I take the coupons off, and then add them after I ring the jacket, to show you how much it takes off?”

Customer #2: “That’s a good idea.”

(I take off the coupon codes and ring the jacket again.)

Me: “Okay, this is the price it normally is, without the coupons: $70.”

([Customer #1 and #2] both nod in agreement.)

Me: “Okay, so, now I’m taking off the 25% coupon first. The jacket goes down to $52.50.”

Customer #2: “Okay.”

Me: “Now, I add the 20%-off coupon, which makes it go down to $42, like before.”

Customer #1: *sigh* “Well, that still doesn’t make sense. The jacket should have been 45% off with those coupons.”

(This happens quite often. Customers don’t realize that an additional percent off does not add onto the already marked percentage; it applies to the discounted price of the item. Isn’t math fun?)

Me: “Well, not exactly. It takes the 25% off of the $70 dollars, which makes it $52.50. Then, I take the 20% off of the $52.50, which makes it $42.”

([Customer #2] seems to get it, but her friend still looks lost, so she turns to her friend.)

Customer #2: “Y’know, that is still a pretty good price.”

Customer #1: “Yeah, I guess, but I’m still not willing to pay $42 for a vest. Never mind; just take it off.”

Me: *sigh* “All right, then. Sorry it doesn’t work out for you.”

(I take the jacket off and finish the transaction, thanking them for coming in and sending them on their way. The assistant manager, who has been watching the transaction from behind the counter, finally groans in annoyance.)

Manager: “Jeez, did they want us to give the jacket away?”

Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 8
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 7
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 6

Need To Keep Watch On This One

, , , , , | Right | February 20, 2018

(I’m an assistant manager at a well-known retailer for young girls. It’s back-to-school time, which generally attracts some less-than-stellar customers. A woman in her 40s or 50s approaches me at the cash register, holding a watch we sell.)

Customer: “Excuse me. Is this a watch?”

Me: *confused* “Yes, ma’am, it is.”

Customer: “But is it, like, a real watch?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, it is a real watch.”

Customer: “So, it works? Like, it tells time and everything?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. It’s a watch. It tells time. Like a clock, but smaller.”

Customer: “Okay! Thank you!”

Me: *turns to an associate* “Did that just happen?”

If You Ask For Time Off, It’s Your Funeral

, , , , | Working | February 20, 2018

(I have lost my best friend suddenly, just the day before this incident. Since I haven’t received my roster for the following week, I call my boss.)

Me: “Hi, [Boss], since the roster isn’t out yet, I just wanted to ring and let you know that [Friend] passed away yesterday. If I’m rostered on the day of the funeral, I won’t be able to come in.”

Boss: “Do you know when the funeral will be?”

Me: “Well, since it happened yesterday, no, I don’t.”

Boss: “If we had you rostered on that day, would you be able to come to work, go to the funeral, and then come finish the shift?”

Me: *internally yelling at her, but saying calmly* “I don’t think I would be in the best headspace to be dealing with customers that day.”

Boss: “Okay, I have enough people to cover the weekend. Do you think the funeral will be on a Thursday? Do I need to have a cover ready for that, too?”

Me: “Like I said, I don’t know, and I’m not rushing the family into that decision.”

(With barely a word of goodbye, she hung up. The kicker was, I had another job, and when I told them about how I wouldn’t come to work the day of the funeral, they looked at me like I was insane, and said, “We would’ve made sure to give you the day off; of course you wouldn’t have to work that day!”)

Not Quite His Style(us)

, , , , | Right | February 19, 2018

(I’m a cashier and I’ve just started an eight-hour shift. The customer slides his card and hits “credit.” He approves the amount, and I type in the last four numbers on his card. When it comes to his signature he can’t get it to write. Our pads are picky, and if you put the stylus down too close to either the top or bottom lines of the box, it won’t write anything.)

Customer: “It’s not writing.”

Me: “Sorry, sir. You have to put the pen down in the middle of the box.”

Customer: “I don’t have a pin; this is credit.”

Me: “You have to put the pen on the box.”

(The customer then lays the stylus sideways on the signature box.)

Me: “Sir, you have to put the tip of the pen, that you write with, in the middle of the box, so that it’ll write.”

(Finally the customer understood and signed his name. Through this, one of my managers was standing behind me, trying not to laugh.)

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