Money Talks

, , , , , , , | Right | December 5, 2017

(My friends and I are at [Amusement Park]. We stop at a shop that sells sweatshirts so my friend can buy one. We have gotten some of the currency that [Amusement Park] produces; we have $20 dollar bills with popular cartoon characters on the backs.)

Friend: *going up to the counter to pay for the sweatshirt* “Do you guys take [Park Currency]?”

Employee #1: “Yes, we do!”

(While the first employee is behind the counter, a second employee comes up next to my friend and takes the money out of my friend’s hand and holds it up for all to see.)

Employee #2: “Look! Real Money!”

Friend: *confused* “Uh…”

Employee #2: *pulls his pant leg tight so we can see the outline of his knee brace* “Don’t worry; I can’t run away with it, anyway. I probably can’t even run to the end of this counter!” *gives back the money*

(My friend and I had a good laugh with him and all employees at that store. They were great! The store was pretty empty, so we stayed and chatted awhile while browsing.)

After Hours You’re Just An Afterthought

, , , , | Working | December 5, 2017

(It’s after closing time and my manager, a coworker, and I are hanging around the register while my manager finishes the last of the closing duties. We’re talking about random things when the phone rings. To my knowledge there’s no policy about whether we HAVE to answer it after closing, or if we can just let it ring, but on the rare nights it happens, we sometimes have some fun. My coworker decides to take it up a notch, however, after batting me away. Another thing to note is we do have to answer with, “Thanks for calling [Store] this is, [Name] how can I help?” during regular business hours.)

Coworker: “Hello?”

(Customer response that I can’t hear over the phone.)

Coworker: “Nah, this is my cell-phone.”

(Another response as my manager and I are trying not to laugh.)

Coworker: “Nah, man, I’ve had this number for a while, and I’ve been getting these calls all day, so I guess they changed their number or something.”

(Another pause in which I’m close to dying laughing.)

Coworker: “Nah, it’s fine, man, hope you find their new number.”

(He finally cracks a smile after hanging up, while my manager and I burst into hysterics.)

Coworker: “Teach them not to call me after hours, mother-f*****s.”

Princess Buttercup Had It Right All Along

, , , , , | Working | December 5, 2017

(My direct supervisor is six feet tall, built like a linebacker, and kind of gruff. I was initially very intimidated by him, but have since learned he’s actually very sweet. When we meet in the morning I always say, “What’s up, buttercup?” to him, and he fills me in on what happened the night before and what needs to be done today. He’s never told me he minds it. One day the manager, my supervisor’s boss, comes up to me.)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], can I talk to you for a second?”

Me: “Sure, what’s up?”

Manager: “You need to stop calling [Supervisor] ‘Buttercup.'”

Me: “What?”

Manager: “It’s demeaning. Stop doing it.”

Me: “Okay? I mean, sure. I’m sorry I made him uncomfortable or anything.”

Manager: “Thanks.”

(I feel bad that I made my supervisor uncomfortable and stop greeting him that way for a few days.)

Supervisor: “[My Name], are you feeling okay?”

Me: “Yes? Why, is there something on my face?”

Supervisor: “Well, you just haven’t said, ‘What’s up, buttercup?’ in a while.”

Me: *confused* “[Manager] told me to stop calling you that, though. He said it was demeaning. I assumed that you didn’t like it.”

Supervisor: “No! If I don’t like something, I’ll tell you, okay?”

Me: “Okay.”

(Later in the day, I see my supervisor and the manager talking. I need to ask my supervisor something, so I head over, just in time to hear my supervisor shout:)

Supervisor: “I LIKE WHEN SHE CALLS ME ‘BUTTERCUP!'”

(I didn’t hear what the manager said because I was so stunned. My supervisor later told me that the manager just didn’t like that a man was being called ‘buttercup.’ I’ve since gone back to my original greeting in the morning, because apparently being called ‘buttercup’ starts his day on a good note.)

Schadenfreude

, , , , , , | Working | December 5, 2017

(Our vacuum cleaner has died on us, so my dad and I go shopping for a new one. We go to an appliance store. I’m a young teen at the time. A salesperson starts showing us various models.)

Salesperson: “And here we have a Sauber.”

Me: “Huh. German for ‘clean,’ right?”

Salesperson: “Yeah. You speak German?”

Me: “Not fluently, but decently well.”

Salesperson: “Dein Vater is doof.” (“Your father is stupid.”)

(He then winks at me, like I should find him hilarious. I don’t.)

Me: “So does my Dad.”

Dad: “Ich möchte zu dein Geschäftsführer sprachen, bitte.” (“I would like to talk to your manager, please.”)

(We had a lovely talk with the manager about employees who like to call their customers stupid, especially to their own kids, even if they’re doing it in another language. We went elsewhere to buy our new vacuum, so I don’t know what happened after, but I can’t imagine that the employee stayed long at his job.)

Plunging Towards Hazard Pay

, , , , | Right | December 4, 2017

Me: “Sir… I really can’t return a used plunger…”

Customer: “But it didn’t work! I need a snake.”

Me: “You know what, why don’t you go get what you need and I’ll page the manager to see what he says?”

(The customer leaves and I page the manager, who waits for the customer to return.)

Manager: “Sir, we really can’t return a used plunger!”

Customer: “It didn’t work!”

Manager: “Is it defective?”

Customer: “No, it just didn’t work.”

Manager: “So, it’s not that there’s something wrong with the plunger, but that your situation requires something more than a plunger and you want to return the plunger that you already used?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Manager: *to me* “Just return it and defect it.” *to customer* “This is the only time I’ll allow this. If the snake doesn’t work, you have to keep it and please, consider getting a plumber.”

(The manager leaves and I get to deal with disinfecting the plunger and my register. Later that day I see the cashier who handles defects…)

Me: “Hey, watch out for the plunger. It’s been used!”

Cashier: *horrified look*

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