That’s Not How Price Match Works

, , , | Right | May 12, 2018

(It is mid-December. I work at a big box store in the photo department, located right next to the electronics department. First thing when the store opens this morning, a woman comes up to me and asks for help with the tablets, so I page the guy in electronics to the display case. He later tells me that their interaction went like this:)

Woman: *holding receipt* “I bought this tablet here a few weeks ago, and I want to buy another one for this price.”

Coworker: “That was part of our Black Friday sale, so it’s back to regular price now.”

Woman: “Well, isn’t there anything you can do for me? Don’t you price-match?”

Coworker: “We don’t price-match our own prices from an outdated sale.”

Woman: “Can I speak to your manager?”

(We spent the rest of the day laughing at how ridiculous it was.)

Their Toilet Breaks Are Broken

, , , | Right | May 11, 2018

(I work the fitting rooms. The door to both restrooms is in the entrance to the hallway leading to the men’s fitting rooms. I often have customers that get the signs confused and try to go down the hall, but once you get past the initial door, you’re in a hallway with nothing but two doors that say “Men” and “Ladies.” The initial door is also locked, so I have to push a button to buzz customers in. One day, I’m working on a project a little way away from the fitting room — though still within sight — and I see a man approaching the area and reading all the signs, so I jump up to assist him.)

Man: “Where are the bathrooms?”

Me: “Just behind the door there.”

Man: *starts going down the hall to the men’s fitting rooms*

Me: “No, the door. Sir? Sir! SIR!” *I have to follow him and bring him back* “It’s this door right here.”

(I physically touch the door, then go back to the button to buzz him in. The man looks at the “Restrooms” sign on the door, then back down the hallway he’d come from, then around the corner to the rest of the store.)

Me: “It’s just behind the door.”

(The man finally opens the door, pokes his head inside, then looks down the hallway to the fitting room again.)

Me: “You got it. Right there behind the door.”

(The man finally goes through the door. At this point, he’s in a hallway with nothing but two doors that say “Men” and “Ladies,” so I go back to the project I was working on. After about a minute or two, he comes out of the door again, and I see him talking to his wife near the entrance to the fitting rooms. He’s already been in the bathroom and they’re not holding any clothing, so I don’t think much of it. After a bit, someone else approaches the fitting room, so I come back to count her in. When I’m finished, the couple approaches me again.)

Woman: “Bathroom?”

Me: “Okay, I’ll buzz you in.” *pushes button*

(The man looks very confused. The woman looks around at the signage.)

Me: “It’s just behind the door there.”

Woman: *hesitantly puts her hand on the handle*

Me: “Yeah, that’s it.”

(The woman opened the door, poked her head in, and then held the door open for her husband. He went in and she waited outside. I went back to my project. The man came out again fairly quickly and went talk to his wife. I came back to the fitting room and he asked to be let into the bathroom a third time. I buzzed him in yet again, and again he came out fairly quickly, but this time they left. I’m pretty sure he never did figure out how to use the bathroom.)

The Easter Bunny And St. Valentine Attended Jesus’ Birth

, , , , , , | Right | May 11, 2018

(At my work, if product comes in, it goes straight to the floor; no holding or back stock is allowed. In the beginning of December, we start to receive Easter product. I am putting it out in our holiday section, right by Christmas, when a man approaches me. He seems agitated, stops a few inches from me, and faces me with his arms tightly crossed. I stay polite as I respond to him.)

Customer: “I can’t believe you are putting up Easter stuff.”

Me: “Well, it’s my job, not my choice. They send it, and I have to put it out; I have no warehouse or backroom to keep it in.”

Customer: “He isn’t even born yet and you are already killing him!”

(Apparently, by doing my job and setting product on a shelf, I personally killed Jesus before he was born.)

Maybe Best This Guy Doesn’t Breed, Anyway

, , , , | Right | May 11, 2018

(I work at a retail chain as my first job. One day a young man comes in and puts a one-dollar pregnancy test on my counter.)

Customer: “I’d like to return this.”

Me: *looking at the test laying on my counter, out of the box* “Um… What’s wrong?”

Customer: “It didn’t work. I want another one.”

Me: “It didn’t work?”

Customer: “Yeah, my girlfriend used it. It didn’t work.”

(I called the manager, who seemed just as shocked as me that the man had laid a used pregnancy test on our counter, but he let the young man exchange it for another one. I poked the used thing into a trash can with a piece of cardboard and scrubbed at the counter for some time.)

Finally Said It

, , , , , | Right | May 9, 2018

(The store is jam-packed, and the systems and registers have been crashing. I get a customer who has been to the [Competitor] a couple stores down. Unfortunately, they are liquidating. A customer comes up to my register and I begin checking her out.)

Me: “Hi, did you find everything all right?”

Customer: “I have, thank you. Rather pleasant in here. [Competitor] was a cluster-f***, though.”

Me: “Uh-oh.”

Customer: “Yeah. Since they announced they’re closing, everyone and anyone mobbed the place. Worse than Black Friday.”

Me: “And I thought we were bad today. We had several crashes, and the line has been long.”

Customer: “You think that’s bad? [Competitor] has signs that say, ‘All Sales Final.’ When I get in line, the idiot in front of me is arguing with the cashier about not being able to return an item. And you would think this idiot knew how to read?! Holy s***, no! Hell, they even brought up the manager and tried explaining to him that he can’t do anything.”

Me: *laughing hysterically* “Wow! That is bad. You win.”

(I cashed her out and then worked out a return for the next customer. Thankfully, my store will still exist at the end of the month!)

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