Just Try To Steal Away From Them

, , , , , | Friendly | September 8, 2017

(A customer has come to me asking if I can find an item for her. I take her to where the stock is. I take an item off the hook to show her, but because the stock in that area is tightly packed, I knock a few small items off neighboring hooks. As I reach down to pick them up, I notice that her bag is on the shelf right underneath and is open.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’ve knocked some items down; would you mind checking to see if any have fallen into your bag?”

Customer: “HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF STEALING!”

Me: “I wasn’t accusing you; I was the one who may have knocked something into it. I was just asking if you would check!”

Customer: “I’VE NEVER BEEN SO INSULTED IN ALL OF MY LIFE, BEING ACCUSED OF BEING A THIEF!” *flings the item at me and storms off*

Me: “I honestly didn’t accuse you of being a thief; I’m sorry if you thought so.”

(She turned the corner abruptly, knocking one of the items I dropped out of a fold in her bag.)

It’s A Manner-ial Thing

, , , , | Right | September 8, 2017

(Our second to last customer approaches my register and starts placing items on the counter. The customer is an older woman with a younger girl in tow, either her daughter or granddaughter.)

Me: “Hi! Is that all for you today?”

(I have a tendency to talk a bit fast, and I ask this as the customers are putting up their items.)

Customer: *sigh* “Must be a Millennial thing.”

Me: *utterly confused* “I’m sorry? What’s a Millennial thing?”

Customer: “Oh, don’t get me started, honey.”

(I guess manners are a “Millennial thing,” too, these days.)

A Signature Reason Why The Economy Is Failing

, , , , , | Right | September 7, 2017

(Due to issues with credit card fraud, our store has been very strict about checking that customers’ signatures match what’s on their credit card. This type of exchange happens several times a week while ringing up customers using credit cards.)

Me: “Can I look at your credit card please?”

Customer: “Sure, here you go.”

Me: “I’m sorry, this card doesn’t have a signature on it; I can’t accept it.”

Customer: “Oh, I never sign my credit cards. If it got stolen, the thief could just copy my signature and use my card!”

Me: “But if they steal it and it’s blank, they can just sign your name in their own handwriting, making it even easier for them to use it…”

Customer: “But it won’t be my signature!”

Me: “…”

Don’t Let The Doors Hit You On Your Way Out

, , , , | Right | September 7, 2017

(A customer comes to the counter.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you know who wrote Light My Fire?”

Me: “Yeah, The Doors.”

Customer: “HA! Everyone thinks that, but The Doors covered it. I need to know who did it originally.”

Me: “Um, I’m pretty sure it was The Doors.”

(He’s so sure I doubt myself, so I go and get “The Best of The Doors” from the rack and check the writing credits.)

Me: “Um, yeah, there we go, that’s The Doors on the writing credit.”

(It turned out with some quizzing he thought the comedy version by British Novelty act Mike Flowers Pops, released in 1996, was the original.)

Locker-Room Misdirection

, , , | Working | September 7, 2017

(I’m getting ready for work, putting my things on my locker, when the personnel lady walks by me.)

Personnel: “You’re probably going to want to start cleaning out your locker.”

Me: *internally* “Why?! What do you know!?”

Personnel: “Because we just got a bunch of new seasonal employees, and you’ll probably have to share.”

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