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These Shoes Were Made For Walking… Far Away From Toxic Masculinity

, , , | Right | September 6, 2021

I am a twenty-year-old female working in a shoe shop. A male high school student comes in with his father looking for school shoes. I measure his feet, pick out some shoes in his size, and get him to try them on.

Me: “All right, go for a bit of a walk in those ones for me and let me know how they feel.”

Dad: “Wow, she’s bossing you around already.”

Me: “…”

Son: “…”

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Won’t Be Long Before You Break Again

, , , , | Right | September 3, 2021

I am the author of this story of a previous associate that, after making a big deal of legal breaks and scheduling, claimed to my store manager that I had fired her. I became involved in a minor HR case that was tossed out the window due to no evidence that such a thing had occurred. I haven’t thought about this associate in years, but I definitely remember her.

One night, I get called to customer service to help dispute a customer’s problem with our return policy. Lo and behold, it is the former employee that is berating my cashier. We lock eyes and she immediately shuts up. Feelings of irritation bloom, but I push them aside and put on the best, overly-sugary customer service voice that we all have.

Me: “All righty, what can I help out with?”

Cashier: “She would like to return this belt. It’s broken, but there are no tags and no receipt.”

Customer: *Curtly* “Yeah, and you didn’t have any more belts, so I just want a refund.”

I take a look at the belt to see if there is anything we can do. The belt is completely destroyed; the buckle is torn off and there are tears connecting the holes. Our last-ditch option would be to find a belt on the sales floor, but since she said she didn’t find any in stock, she’s sealed the fact that she won’t be getting a refund.

Me: “Why, I’m surprised at you, [Customer]. You know our policies. You know we can’t return anything without the tags and receipt.”

Customer: *Glaring at me* “[Location] lets me return things without the tag or receipt all the time.”

Me: “Oh, will they? Well, I’ll have to give them a call and fix that problem. However, we won’t be returning this for you today. There is no way to get it back into our system without a receipt or a tag. Sorry about that.”

Customer: “You can’t look it up in the system or whatever?”

Me: “We’re not supposed to, but I could humor you. Which store did you purchase it at? What method of payment?”

Customer: “At [Location] with cash.”

Me: “Ah, I’m afraid we’re hitting a brick wall again. We don’t have access to [Location]’s purchases, and a cash tender won’t be enough to identify your previous purchases.”

Customer: “THIS IS F****** BULLS***!”

Me: “Please watch your language, [Customer]; this is a family-friendly store. I’m sorry we couldn’t resolve your issue today. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

She grabs her destroyed belt and stomps out of the store.

Cashier: “What just happened? She was cussing me out before you got here, and then she went silent.”

Me: “She used to work here a couple of years ago and accused me of firing her. She was mad because I wouldn’t let her go to lunch on a three-hour shift.”

Cashier: *Pauses* “I’m glad I never got to work with her.”

Won’t Be Long Before You (Lunch) Break

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Their Excuse Doesn’t Hold A Candle To Your Cancellation Policy

, , , , | Right | September 3, 2021

I make and sell custom scented candles on my own website. I always try to accommodate my customers to make them happy as well as making sure I turn a reasonable profit to keep the business going. As such, I have certain policies in place.

I have a twelve-hour cancellation window because I work quickly and can’t afford to use materials on orders that might get canceled and then just sit there, unsellable. I have a “No Returns” policy to save customers and myself return shipping costs, but if there’s an issue or something gets damaged in transit, I send a replacement at no charge to the customer.

If a cancellation is requested outside the policy time frame, I always try to find out why so that I can work with the customer, if necessary, since I might then be out the cost of unsellable merchandise. Sometimes an unexpected financial hardship is the reason they want to cancel, which, of course, I am fine with honoring. All my policies are clearly stated on the website as well as on the order confirmation page where they physically have to tick the box to say they agree to the policies before confirming the order.

The customer orders a candle. More than twenty-four hours later, the customer contacts me via my business email.

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to cancel. If I can’t, what’s your return policy?”

Me: “Cancellation requests are limited to within twelve hours of purchase, and I have a ‘No Returns’ policy, as was clearly stated on the website and at the bottom of your order confirmation. But may I ask why you want to cancel?”

Over a week goes by and I don’t hear back from the customer. I’ve already made this particular order, so I haven’t put through the cancellation until I hear back from them, in case we can work something out.

Customer: *Over a week later* “Hi, did my order get canceled?”

Me: “Did you receive my reply? I was waiting to hear back from you before proceeding.”

Customer: “I shouldn’t have to tell you why I want to cancel.”

Me: “I often make candle orders right away and sometimes ship within twenty-four hours, hence the policy. And since you requested the cancellation outside the timeframe, I asked for a reason so that I can work with you. Otherwise, my policy is pointless.”

Customer: “Since it didn’t get canceled, it should have been processed by now. Why hasn’t it been processed?”

Me: “Because you requested a cancellation, and I was waiting to hear back from you and you took over a week to respond. Would you prefer the candle or the cancellation?”

Customer: “Well, since I obviously can’t cancel and can’t return it, then I want the candle.”

Me: “It’ll be in the mail tomorrow. Thanks.”

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That’s The Way The Cookie Smuggles

, , , , , , | Right | September 3, 2021

I baked cookies around Christmas and put them in the break room at work for everyone. The rest of the staff really liked them, so sometime later in January, I made two trays’ worth and brought them over.

I had a morning shift beginning at 7:30 am and I put the cookies in the break room, first thing. By 10:00 am, they were gone. I thought that some people really enjoyed them, considering it took until about 4:00 pm for them to run out last time, but asking around, less than half the staff even knew I brought cookies at all. They just saw some empty trays in the break room.

Even management liked these cookies, and one of them, failing to have a cookie, looked at the security footage. Turned out that a so-called “customer” made his way into the back when no one was looking and then went into the break room. He stretched out the front of the shirt he was wearing into a pouch and filled it with every cookie still there. He then carried the cookies out of the building, taking a route that would not get him noticed by anyone working there.

That guy must have really liked these cookies, but learn to share!

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Behind The Curtain, Another Mindless Coworker

, , , , , , , | Working | September 3, 2021

I was having a conversation with two of my coworkers. I can’t remember what exactly it was about or why I chose this word, but I remember the ending. It made me giggle.

Me: “Well, you could always pantomime it.”

Coworker #1: “I could do what?”

Me: “Pantomime it.”

Coworker #1: *Pauses* “What?”

Coworker #2: “Pantomime!”

Coworker #1: “Is that even a word? Are you two making this up?”

Me: “What? It’s a real word!”

Coworker #2: “It means to, like, pretend to do something. Like in charades.”

Coworker #1: “Oh… And it’s a real word? You’re not pulling my leg?”

Me: “Have you ever listened to Queen’s song The Show Must Go On? Or seen the movie Moulin Rouge? It’s used in a line in the song, even.”

Coworker #1: “You know I haven’t seen or listened to anything earlier than 2010!”

Coworker #2: “But it’s friggin Queen!

I had to pull up my dictionary app to show him that it was, in fact, a real word.

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