Entry-Level A**hole

, , , | Right | February 21, 2018

(I work at a large law firm. I cover the phones while the receptionist goes to lunch. This particular day, someone from the firm’s legal department happens to be in the vicinity when the phone rings.)

Me: “[Firm], how can I help you?”

(The customer immediately launches into a long and technical explanation about a paper he needs. I have no idea what he’s talking about, but I can tell it’s most likely related to a company owned by the firm, and not the firm itself, so I try to get more information. He’s already made several threats to sue the firm, and me, if I don’t comply, which I might have taken more seriously if he hadn’t led with that. I’m beginning to lose my patience, especially as I have no idea what he’s talking about whatsoever, and I’m 90% sure it’s not even related to this firm.)

Me: “Okay, sir, let me see what I can find out about that. Can I get your name and number and get back to you?”

Caller: *exhales loudly* “Look, can I speak to someone less… entry-level?”

Me: “…”

(It turned out that the form he wanted was from a case the other company had handled ten years ago. The firm lawyer who overheard my call wrote an email to the correct person and copied me on it, adding a warning to the person that the caller had been rude to me. The lawyer sent me a note, as well, making sure I was okay.)

Something Was Lost From Mouth To Mouse

, , , , , | Working | February 20, 2018

(I am collecting my car from having been fixed from a new repair shop. A receptionist is helping me when his computer mouse stops working.)

Me: “Put it next to another mouse. That will make it work.”

(The receptionist does just that.)

Me: “That is mouse-to-mouse resuscitation!”

Receptionist: “It didn’t work.”

(I felt really embarrassed as he just didn’t get the joke.)

“Lovely” Left For Lunch, Link Up Later

, , , , , , | Working | February 17, 2018

(I am essentially the backup receptionist at my office, meaning that I take my work down to the reception desk and answer the company phone when the regular receptionist takes her lunch. Today, I get a rather interesting phone call. According to caller ID, the caller is a regular customer.)

Me: *picking up the phone* “Good afternoon, this is [Company].”

Caller: “Hello, lovely! How are you today?”

Me: *incredibly weirded out* “Um… Good. How are you?”

Caller: “Oh! Wrong lovely! Can you transfer me to [Coworker], please?”

Me: “Sure.”

Caller: “Not that you’re not lovely! I just… I should stop talking now.”

Me: *laughs* “One moment.” *I transfer him*

(I asked the receptionist later, and she said that that customer usually addresses her as “lovely.”)

You’re Doing Your Job Out Of The Gate

, , , , , , , | Working | February 13, 2018

(I am the receptionist of my office. I have a button that opens the inner door to our office. When someone walks through the front door, I greet them, and then ask their name and who they are here to see. I then call the person they are looking for, and either let the person come through the inner door, or escort them to the office of the person expecting them. I do this with everyone, no exception, even if I’m familiar with the face or name of the person. This afternoon, a man walks in and starts to open the inner door, only to discover he can’t. I greet him, and ask for his name and who he’s looking for. He says something close to the name of the office director, and when I ask his name again he looks at me:)

Director: “I’m [Director], the new director of this entire department.”

(I get up and personally open the door for him. I then introduce him to my support staff coworkers. He says something about making changes, and that’s when I say:)

Me: “By adding a bounce house?!”

(My coworker tries to shush me by waving her arms.)

Coworker: “No! No! Don’t say that!”

Director: *laughs* “I’ll even throw in a water slide, and donuts!”

(I take him to my boss’s office and go back to my desk. Half an hour later they both come back around.)

Boss: “…and you know [My Name]. She let you in.”

Director: “Yes, and she almost didn’t let me in.”

(My boss looks at me questioningly.)

Me: “He wouldn’t tell me who he was.”

(The director smiles, laughs, and then leaves. My boss tells me the director was impressed that I didn’t let him in right away without asking his name, who he was, and to whom he wished to speak.)

Boss: “He won’t forget you now. You’re a very responsible gatekeeper.”

(The next morning the director personally brought a box of donuts for my office!)

The Glasses Are Clean But Their Questions Are Not

, , , , , , | Working | February 7, 2018

(I’m looking for a new job and have an interview with a recruiting company. Please note I’m a trained secretary and know what I’m doing in an office setting. The current job situation in my city means I can pretty much choose from several job offers. This company has good reviews, but when I come in:)

Receptionist: *bored and barely looking at me* “All right, you must be [My First Name]. Please follow me.”

(I’m a bit taken aback, as it’s very uncommon here to call people by their first name without being invited to, but I hold my tongue and follow her to the interview room. It’s all right, if a bit minimalistic with the only “refreshments” being a bottle of water.)

Receptionist: “Take a seat where you like. Well, preferably that one. Help yourself to water if you want; the bottle is not even open yet. Oh, and the glasses are clean.”

(She left without a further word. I was completely taken aback because… why would you even mention that the glasses in your meeting room are clean? I really hoped they always were! To top it off, the “personal information questionnaire” I was asked to fill out included questions such as, “Are you in any debt?”, “Do you smoke?”, and “Are you planning on having children?” These are things no potential employer is allowed to ask. Needless to say, I didn’t stay very long.)

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