In Good Company Name

, , , , , , | Right | January 10, 2018

(I work as a receptionist for a manufacturing company, so I handle all incoming calls.)

Me: “Good morning! [Company], how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi! Is this [Company]?”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Caller: “So, this is [Company]?”

Me: “Yep. This is [Company].”

Caller: “Oh. Just making sure I was calling [Company].”

Me: “That’s us, all day, everyday.”

(This actually happens a lot throughout the day, believe it or not.)

Sky’s The Limit… Well, Four

, , , , | Learning | December 1, 2017

(As part of a job application, I need a Student Status Certificate stamped by the university, which proves when I will graduate. I need four copies but only one needs to be an original. I go to the student reception desk to ask for one.)

Me: “Hi! I’d like a Student Status Certificate, please.”

Receptionist: “Okay, how many would you like?”

Me: “Um, just one, I guess. Then, I can photocopy it.”

Receptionist: “Are you sure? They’re free, so I can give you more than one.”

Me: “Oh, okay, then. Could I please have four?”

Receptionist: *laughs as if I’m a moron* “Four? I can’t give you that many!”

Me: “Okay… but you… Never mind. How many can I have, then?”

Receptionist: “Two.”

Me: “I guess I’ll have two, then, please.”

Walked Into A Happy Resolution

, , , , | Hopeless | November 25, 2017

(Due to various circumstances I find myself finishing work at 2:30 am one night. The rest of my team is travelling on to a different job, and are going nowhere near the hotel I’m checked in to. I’ve already tried the taxi number I was given at the hotel, but there are no cars available. I try over twenty more numbers given to me by Google, but the only company that answers doesn’t have anything available to go to a small, rural town to collect just one person. I decide that I can walk the eight miles back to the hotel instead. It’s unlit most of the way, and about two-thirds of the way there I end up on a road without a pavement, but I make it safely in just under two-and-a-half hours. The night receptionist is outside smoking when I arrive. We chat for a bit, and I explain what I’ve just done.)

Me: “Breakfast, then a nap, then home, I think. What time’s checkout?”

Receptionist: “It’s at noon, but… Yeah, do you want a later checkout?”

Me: “Nah, work won’t pay for it.”

Receptionist: “I’ll put it in as a freebie. You’ve earned it.”

Me: “Well…”

Receptionist: “You’ve just walked farther in one night than I will in a month. There! You’re booked in for a 2:00 pm checkout. Plenty of time for breakfast and a nap.”

Me: “Thanks!”

(I got enough sleep to manage the three-hour train journey home safely, thanks to that receptionist.)

It Must Have Been A Very Long Year

, , , , | Working | November 24, 2017

Receptionist: “Can I get your date of birth, please?”

Me: “[Day], December, 1988.”

Receptionist: “December?”

Me: “Yes.”

Receptionist: *looking around confused and asking her colleague* “Umm, December?”

Me: “Umm, like [Day], 12, 1988.”

Receptionist: “Oh, that’s much better. I didn’t know which month December was.”

(Her colleague gives me a sympathetic look as the receptionist finalises my registration. I head into the waiting room. They are just within earshot.)

Receptionist: *to colleague* “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Colleague: “I didn’t know either.”

(At least they were honest about it.)

It Was A Woman, She Was Blue

, , , , , , | Right | November 21, 2017

Me: “[Company], how may I direct your call?”

Caller: “Someone just called me, but I don’t know who it was.”

Me: “Unfortunately, all of our calls come up as our switchboard number, so I’m not able to tell who it was, either.”

Caller: “She just called me, but I couldn’t understand anything she was saying.”

Me: “Unfortunately, unless you know the person’s name or what the call was about, I don’t know who to get you to.”

Caller: *as if this will clear everything up* “It was a woman.”

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