Smaller Cabin Fever

, , , | Right | April 15, 2019

(I work the closing shift as a receptionist at a five-star campsite in Sweden. Most people who rent cabins book their stay weeks in advance as they are very popular. One evening I answer a call from a man speaking English with a heavy accent.)

Me: “Hello, my name is [My Name]. You’ve reached [Campsite]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I need a room for tonight. One bed.”

Me: “You’re lucky! We have two cabins left that can be rented tonight: one with four beds and running water, and one smaller with two beds and no running water. You will have full access to our nearby service facilities where there are restrooms and showers no matter the choice.”

Caller: “I need a toilet in the cabin.”

Me: “Certainly! The larger cabin is [price] per night—“

Caller: “What? That’s not good enough. How much is the smaller cabin?”

Me: “That would be [about half the previous price].”

Caller: “Can’t you give me the bigger cabin for the price of the smaller one?”

Me: “Um, unfortunately, I cannot do that. You would still have restrooms nearby the smaller cabin if you don’t wish to pay for the larger one. I can assure you the service facilities are well maintained.”

(The caller grumbles something angrily in a language I don’t understand.)

Caller: “I’ll call you back.”

Me: “Of course! Keep in mind we can’t check you in after 10:00 pm when we close the reception.”

(He hangs up. An hour later, around 9:00 pm, a biker rides up and parks his motorcycle right outside the reception — not in the assigned parking space — and comes in. It has just started to rain.)

Man: “I called earlier. I need a cabin.”

Me: “Welcome. It was me you spoke to. Both cabins are still available for one night.”

Man: “I want the one with water, but the price is too high.”

Me: “Unfortunately, I cannot lower the price. The cabin is in top shape, newly renovated. With the cheaper cabin, you’ll still have access to toilets and showers less than a fifty-meter walk away.”

Man: “I don’t want to walk in the rain! You won’t rent out that cabin tonight, anyway, unless I take it. I should be able to choose the price myself. Any money I don’t give you is money you lose! I want to speak to your manager. He will teach you how to make business.”

Me: “I could give you her number, but she doesn’t work right now and won’t answer until tomorrow. Until then, I have to follow our rules.”

Man: “Come on! This is stupid! I won’t pay that much! You’ll just lose business!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, but I’m not authorised to change our pricing for anyone.”

(The biker stomps out of the building swearing and gesturing obscenely. He takes off and I assume he’ll try to find a cheaper campsite. There is one about half an hour away, but I know already that all their cabins are fully booked. At 9:50 pm, the biker returns, fully drenched. It’s still raining.)

Man: “Look at me; I’m all wet! I want a shower in the cabin.”

Me: “That still is [price]. For [cheaper price] you’ll still have access to showers. They’re really close to the cabin; I can show you on our map here.”

Man: “Forget it. You know nothing about business. I’ll take the cheaper one.”

Me: “Sure! I just need your name, address, and a valid ID.”

(He is very reluctant to show me his ID, and even more so his address.)

Man: “What do you need my address for?”

Me: “We keep a register of all our guests to make booking faster should they come back. An address is part of the obligatory information needed to make a booking.”

Man: “Well, I’m not coming back here.”

Me: “I still need your address to complete your booking, sir.”

(Finally, he gave me an address. I got him his key and explained the map and some rudimentary rules. To save trouble for my colleagues in the morning, I didn’t even mention our option of paying at checkout and got him to pay upfront. The next day, I heard that my colleagues had to kick him out as he wouldn’t honor the checkout deadline. Apparently, he liked that smaller cabin after all.)

Unfiltered Story #146912

, | Unfiltered | April 14, 2019

(I’m in a video game store that I frequently visit. Today, I’m about to pre-order a game that I’ve been eyeing for quite a while.)

Cashier: Would you like to become a plus member of this store?

Me: Does it cost anything?

Cashier: Nope, not a thing. Using the membership card every time you shop here will eventually net you level-ups and some great offers.

Me: Oh, sweet! Then I’d like to sign up, please.

(I give him my name, birth date and address.)

Cashier: And what’s your e-mail address?

Me: …Er, actually, can I write it up instead? It’s an e-mail I created ages ago, so it’s a bit embarrassing to say out loud.

(The cashier just chuckles and prints out a receipt for me to write my e-mail on.)

Me: I’ve had it since I was 10 years old and I can’t be bothered to get a new one.

Cashier: *grins* Well, you’re certainly not the first to feel that way.

Me: Really? Others have asked to write their e-mail instead of saying it?

Cashier: No, but you can tell that some find their e-mails embarrassing. As soon as we ask for them, they go all red in the face and start mumbling.

(So, to anybody who feels embarrassed about their e-mails; Take comfort in that you’re not the only ones to feel that way.)

Revenge Of The Nerds

, , , , , | Friendly | April 9, 2019

(I’m sitting on the grass in the park on a sunny day. A few meters away, two guys in their early twenties are sitting on a bench. I don’t really pay much attention to their conversation until suddenly, a woman their age walks past with a dog and settles on the grass a bit further away.)

Guy #1: “Did you see who that was?”

Guy #2: “Huh?”

Guy #1: “The girl with the dog. It’s Veronika!”

Guy #2: *leans over and looks in the girl’s direction* “Veronika? You mean, from high school?”

Guy #1: “Yeah!”

Guy #2: “No…”

Guy #1: “It is! Imagine her with shorter hair.”

(There’s a pause while both guys try to make eyes at the girl inconspicuously.)

Guy #2: “Gosh, it is her! Wow, she’s hot!

Guy #1: “Check out her legs.”

Guy #2: “She’s changed so much.”

(There’s another pause while they check out the girl in silence.)

Guy #2: “In retrospect, throwing that basketball at her face and calling her a nerd might’ve been a stupid idea.”

Unfiltered Story #146062

, , | Unfiltered | April 7, 2019

I worked in customer support for a big telephone company, and got quite a lot of stupid calls. One thing that customers often complained about was the 19 SEK administrative fee for sending out their bills to them by mail. We were instructed to advice our customers that they could avoid that fee by paying their bills online through their internet bank, or to have the bank set it up so that the bills would be paid automatically every month. Some older people distrust these modern methods, as they are afraid of phishing. One man in particular had his own solution to this problem:

Me: “I’m sorry, but there’s no way that we can remove these administrative charges.”

Old Man: “They have done it for me before!”

I read the notes on the man’s account and see that he’s called once a month for the past year trying to get us to remove the fee, and that we should not allow this anymore.

Me: “Well, that may be, but we are not allowed to do that. If my coworkers have made a mistake, that’s their fault, but I can’t remove this fee for you, it’s against our rules.”

Old Man: You know, considering that I spend so much time going through my bills, writing out the sum and mailing to the bank to get the bills paid, I think YOU owe ME 19 SEK in administrative fees! You can take that off of my bill!”

Me: …”Yeah, I’ll pass that suggestion on to my supervisor. In the mean time, you have to pay the administrative fees.”

Their Sharing Tactic Is Golden

, , , , , | Related | March 26, 2019

Two boys – about five and eight years old – enter my store carrying a bag full of empty bottles and cans. They head straight for the recycling machine. Five minutes later, they come to my register and hand me a 30-kronor recycling receipt — about $3. I hand them a 20-kronor banknote and 10-kronor coin in change.

The older boy says to the younger boy, “Do you want the piece of paper… or do you want the golden coin?

Needless to say, the younger boy chooses the less valuable gold coin.

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