Lack Of Information Overload

, , , , , | Working | June 9, 2021

I open a ticket to [Cell Phone Company] software centre, including the software, the type of bug, and the version number.

Support: “Your problem is soon to be solved. But we need some more information; please include: 1, software; 2, type of problem; 3, version number.”

I return the email with the information already provided. I get the same response. I open another ticket, fill in the boxes, and so on in an identical way. And I get the same response. Eventually, I end up sending TEN identical tickets and getting no solution, just a constant back-and-forth with requests for further information from me. I get fed up and phone the head boss in Stockholm.

Head: “I’ll be sure to follow up on your bug!”

Then, I get an angry email from the [Cell Phone Company] development department.

Development: “We have over ten tickets from you, but you refuse to tell us the version number, the software, or the kind of problem.”

Me: “I will not use your services anymore. Thank you.”

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Some Guys Just Want To Watch The World Burn

, , , , , | Learning | June 4, 2021

I’m working as a student representative for my university at a really large university fair for graduating high school students. My job is to talk to prospective students, promote my school, and answer questions about my program. When we aren’t occupied with a visitor, we are supposed to reach out to the people standing outside of our booth and try to draw them in. I’m currently free and I spot a group of three guys standing close to me, so I go to them and start my pitch.

Me: “Hi, are any of you interested in studying for [University]?”

Guy #1: “Nah, I want to study [program we don’t offer] at [Other University].”

Me: “That’s fair, and you?”

I turn to the next guy.

Guy #2: “I don’t want to continue studying.”

I’m starting to sense that I’m not going to get anywhere with them, but I turn to the third guy anyway.

Me: “And you, what do you want to do when you graduate?”

The guy looks me in the eyes.

Guy #3: *Deadpan* “Burn down buildings.”

I have absolutely no idea what to say, so I just blurt out the first thing that comes to my mind. 

Me: “I… don’t think you need further education for that.”

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A Sanitized Version Of Events

, , , | Right | May 17, 2021

Our services are reduced to pickup and drop-off only for health reasons. Nobody is allowed inside the library and we’ve moved the information desk up to just inside the doors and closed off all sides. We’ve also mounted a dispenser of hand sanitizer beside the door.

I’m working the evening shift and things are very slow, so we’re busying ourselves reshelving books when a fairly well- and warmly-dressed middle-aged man walks up to the door.

Man: “Hi, I don’t have a book to pick up, but could I just grab some hand sanitizer?”

Me: “Sure, go ahead.”

I continue shelving books.

Man: “Thanks!”

He takes off his gloves and his hat… and then his winter coat, his sweater, and his shirt. He is now topless. He proceeds to take several handfuls of hand sanitizer and give himself a thorough wash from his waist up to his hairline before politely thanking us and walking off while getting dressed. All of this takes maybe ninety seconds.

Colleague: “Did that just happen?”

Me: “At least he’s staying safe.”

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Does Not Pass With Flying Colors, Part 3

, , | Right | May 10, 2021

We keep our disposable lighters behind the counter, and whenever a customer wants one I make sure to ask if they want any particular colour. Some appreciate it, but mostly people don’t care and will let me pick whatever. And then there’s this guy.

Customer: “I want a lighter.”

Me: “Does the colour matter?”

Customer: “Just grab any.”

I pick the closest one, which happens to be blue.

Customer: “No, not that colour. Gimme a black one.”

Does Not Pass With Flying Colors, Part 2
Does Not Pass With Flying Colors

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Now Listen Here, Sunshine…

, , , | Right | May 7, 2021

The florist is talking to a man that wants to know the price of the lemon trees. For some reason, this makes the woman next to them butt in.

Customer: “Are these lemon trees? Is the fruit gonna turn yellow or are they gonna be green?”

Florist: *Trying to be nice although she is cutting in line* “The fruit is going to turn yellow if you put it outside and if we have enough sun this summer.”

Customer: “So they are gonna turn yellow?”

Florist: “Yes, but they aren’t going to taste nice; they are decorative.”

Customer: “And these orange trees, do they also have to have sun?”

Florist: “Yes, they are just like the lemon trees and have to have sun in order to thrive.”

Customer: “How much do they grow?”

Florist: “Well, not that much; they grow really slowly.”

Customer: “And they have to have sun, both of them?”

Florist: “Yes.”

Customer: “And are the fruit on the orange tree gonna be green, as well, or are they gonna turn yellow like the lemons?”

Florist: “No, those are oranges and they are going to turn orange, if they get enough sunshine.”

Customer: “Sunshine… outside?”

Florist: “Yes.”

Customer: *Mumbling to herself* “Sunshine, they have to have sunshine.”

The woman then walked out of the flower shop and stood for several minutes just staring at the citrus trees, although I somehow doubt that she knew that they were both citrus trees.

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