Can’t Re-coup The Time Wasted

, , , , , | Right | December 6, 2017

(It’s Saturday, which means that we have a $5-off coupon for any purchase over $25. A couple comes up to my register and we strike up a conversation about travelling and Las Vegas.)

Me: *finishes ringing the couple up* “That’ll be [amount around $110].”

Customer: *pays and continues to chatter about Las Vegas*

Me: “Would you like your receipt?”

Customer: “Oh! I forgot my $5 coupon!”

Me: *slightly nervous, because I’ve always ended up panicking in scenarios like this* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t do the coupon now, since the transaction has been finished.”

Customer: “No, you can’t do that! I forgot to use my coupon and I want to use it!”

Me: “Ma’am, you can’t use it now that the transaction has been finished.”

Customer: “I want to speak to your manager!” *smiling, but very agitated*

Manager: *hurries over and asks the customer what’s wrong, the customer repeats the exact same thing to her* “I’m sorry ma’am, but we’d have to return your entire purchase just to use it.”

Customer: “Fine, then let’s return everything!”

Manager: *speechless*

(At this point a line is forming, and we only have two working registers, with only one cashier. The customer continues to go on about wanting to return her entire purchase, but a man in line chimes in.)

Man: “Lady, just give me the coupon and I will give you the five dollars. If it’s really that big of a deal, I will give you the five dollars!”

Customer: *gets mad and leaves with a huff*

Screaming For A New Nurse

, , , | Healthy | November 16, 2017

(This occurs when I am 19 years old, and in the hospital giving birth. I am a fairly tiny person, my baby is pretty huge, and I’m in my 23rd hour of labor, so you can see how I might be stressed out. The first time I let out a pained scream…)

Nurse: *disgustedly* “You know the screaming doesn’t actually help, right?”

(My mom and boyfriend gawk at her.)

Boyfriend: “Are you kidding? Did you seriously just say that?”

Nurse: *defensively* “Look, I’m just saying that it’s 3:00 am; people are trying to sleep. She’s being really loud.”

Mom: “GET THE F*** OUT OF HERE!”

(She huffed and walked out of the room without a word, leaving another nurse to scramble in to help. I saw her a few more times during my stay, and thankfully she kept her mouth shut.)

A Noteworthy Turnaround

, , , , , , , | Learning | November 16, 2017

(I’m 15 years old and a sophomore. Recently, I took a couple of days off school due to a nasty sinus infection. Before she drops me off, my mom gives me my doctor’s note and I head inside. A couple of hours later, I get called into the office of one of the three assistant principals.)

Assistant Principal: “So, [My Name], did you know we call the doctor’s office to verify sick notes?”

Me: “Um, I guess?”

Assistant Principal: “Since you have a clean record, you’ll only get one day of lunch detention if you confess.”

Me: “Huh? Confess to what?”

Assistant Principal: *gets a creepy smile on his face and calls for the receptionist* “You changed the dates on your note.”

Me: “What?! No I didn’t. I only got it from my mom when she dropped me off! I didn’t have time to do that.”

(The receptionist comes in and says the office only confirmed one day of my absence, not the three I needed. They go back and forth accusing me and telling me I’ll get a week’s lunch detention for lying. Finally, in tears, I take out my cell phone and get them to call my mom at work.)

Assistant Principal: “Hello, Mrs. [Last Name]. This is your daughter’s principal at [School]. She’s hysterical and wanted us to call you because the dates on her doctor’s note were changed. She says she didn’t do it, but…”

(There’s a long pause and his smile slowly fades away. He looks between me and the receptionist.)

Assistant Principal: “W-well, yes, ma’am. No, ma’am. Yes, ma’am, I will. But just for future reference, you can’t do th—”

(He pauses again and gives me back my phone.)

Assistant Principal: “So, your mother says she changed the note. Just tell her she can’t do that next time.”

(They got rid of the detention notice on my records and sent me on my way. I get having to punish kids who do mess up, but maybe don’t look like you’re enjoying it so much?)

Ensuring The Insulin Is Insul-out

, , | Healthy | November 14, 2017

(I work in the satellite pharmacy at my hospital. A triage technician is always on hand to answer calls and messages from doctors, nurses, and other pharmacists. It’s a difficult job that requires deft technicians: some of the calls they get raise issues that are difficult to resolve, and others are just plain goofy. D5W is short for a stock solution of 5% dextrose sugar in water.)

Triage Tech: *picking up the phone* “Pharmacy, how can I help you?” *pause* “No, ma’am, I don’t believe those two are compatible with each other. ” *pause* “What? No, no, I don’t actually know offhand if the drug would precipitate out or react with the D5W in any way. I could look that up for you, but in this case I really don’t think it’s necessary. ” *pause* “You’re asking me if you can add insulin to D5W” *pause* “You want to infuse your patient with both sugar and insulin at once. Just… please… don’t.”

The Nightmare Immediately After Halloween

, , , , | Right | November 14, 2017

(I work at a seasonal pop-up store that sells Halloween decor and costumes. Because we don’t want everyone to return their costumes right after their parties, we only accept returns up until the 20th of October and exchanges up until Halloween. However, managers can override the return policy at their discretion, such as if an item was marked down for damage, or the customer was being super nice. An older woman walks in.)

Customer #1: “Hello, I’d like to return this costume. I bought it for my granddaughter and it didn’t fit her.” *the costume she bought was $45*

Assistant Manager: “We can’t do returns, only exchanges. We do have that costume in a larger size if you’d like to exchange it.”

Customer #1: “No, I want to return it. Why can’t you do it?”

Assistant Manager: “Well, as it says on your receipt—” *she picks up the receipt and points right under our logo* “—we can only process exchanges past the 20th. It’s the 26th.”

Customer #1: “Well, I didn’t see that.”

Assistant Manager: *points to a placard on the register* “It’s also posted at all three registers.”

Customer #1: “You really can’t do a return? I need a return.”

Assistant Manager: “Sorry, we can’t.”

Customer #1: *looks to me, a lowly minimum wage cashier, for pity*

Me: “Sorry, all we can do is exchanges. Why don’t you look around the store and see if there’s something else you want?”

Customer #1: “No, I want my money back.”

(The customer huffs, shoves the costume back in her bag, and walks out. This part of the story is pretty normal, as people come in ALL the time trying to return things. The story gets a little more interesting though when another customer comes in… with the same costume and goal.)

Customer #2: “My wife came in and purchased this lovely, lovely costume for our granddaughter. And sadly, it didn’t fit at all. So, I want our money back.”

Assistant Manager: *once again goes over our policy, slowly and in detail*

Customer #2: “I don’t care. Give me my money back.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we can’t. Like she said, our policy states—”

Customer #2: “I don’t give a d*** what your policy states. I. Want. My. Money. Back.”

Me: “We can only do exchanges, not returns. You can buy anything of equal or greater value in the store and get what you paid taken off.”

Customer #2: “I want my money back. It’s illegal not to give me my money back. I ought to call the police; it’s illegal to do this. I want to speak to a manager.”

Me: “Certainly, sir, I’ll page her right now.” *I pull out my walkie* “Could I get [District Manager] to the front, please?”

Customer #2: “That better be the d***ed manager. I don’t want another cashier telling me I can’t have my money back!”

Me: “She’s the district manager, sir.”

Customer #2: “Good. She’ll give me my d***ed money back.”

District Manager: *with the store manager in tow* “What’s up?”

Customer #2: *points a finger at both myself and the assistant manager, recounting his story and demanding his money back, again*

District Manager: *explains the store policy to him a third time*

Customer #2: “You cannot do that. It’s illegal to keep my money when I want it back. How about I call the cops right now?”

District Manager: *without missing a beat* “You go right ahead and do that. Our policy—”

Customer #2: *pulls out his cell-phone* “I’m calling the police. Your policy is illegal.”

District Manager: “All I ask is you step aside so [My Name] can ring up other customers.”

([Customer #2] obliges, grabbing his costume and walking outside to, I assume, get better reception and wait for the police. We never find out what the police think of our “illegal” practices though, because the next time we look outside he and his wife have disappeared.)

District Manager: “You know, I would have given him his return just to get him out of the store until he threatened to call the cops.”

Me: “You have more patience than I do, because the first time he threatened that I was going to tell him I was refusing him service and he was trespassing on private property.”

(The kicker? He left his receipt, meaning that if he came back or went to the store across town that’s in our chain, he couldn’t get an exchange or return at all. I wonder if that policy is illegal, too.)

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