For Those Who Think Parmesan Is The Papa Of All Cheeses

, , , , | Right | October 9, 2019

(I work in a pizza place that is NOT Papa John’s.)

Kid: “Can I have some Papa John’s cheese?”

Me: “I don’t know what that is. “

Kid: “My mama said to get some Papa John cheese. “

Me: “Do you mean Parmesan cheese?”

Kid: “I don’t know. I guess so. “

(I took him to the counter where the Parmesan cheese was. He took some, still unsure, but didn’t come back so I guess that’s what his mom sent him after.)

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How You Found Out I Am Quitting Is One Of The Reasons Why I Am Quitting

, , , , | Working | October 1, 2019

(My workplace is incredibly dysfunctional and the managers tend to be either lazy or crazy; there’s no in-between. My shift manager is incredibly vulgar. She also hates me and is very vocal about it for some reason. I finally decide to turn in my two weeks notice, but the owner has been AWOL for almost a week. I leave it on his desk in his office, which is always open, with the big letters “FOR [BOSS]” on the envelope. Ten minutes later:)

Shift Manager: “[My Name], can I get a hand with something in the walk-in?”

(I go into the walk-in, accepting my fate.)

Shift Manager: “Do you have something you wanna tell me?”

Me: “Um… no?”

Shift Manager: “Why the f*** are you quitting?!”

Me: “Why did you open up an envelope marked, ‘FOR [BOSS]’?”

Shift Manager: “Because I’m a manager! I can do whatever I want!”

(We proceed to have an uncomfortably long conversation of her trying to convince me to stay, which I decline.)

Me: “I almost got fired a month ago, [Shift Manager]. I’m not getting a raise and you don’t have the authority to give me one! This place also doesn’t make schedules, and I tend to just get texts late at night that say if I work the next morning or not!”

(I haven’t heard anything in a week.)

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It’s A Dog’s Life, Indeed!

, , , , , , | Related | August 1, 2019

My aunt is one of those people who treats her dogs like her biological children, but she takes it to the next level. Here are a few of the things that she does for them:

She feeds them only eggs for every meal.

She has rugs laid out so they don’t have to walk on the hardwood floors.

Every holiday, she gives them each a full human meal.

She has them open their own presents every Christmas and still gives gifts in their names — we’re all above the age of 25, by the way!

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Unfiltered Story #156833

, , | Unfiltered | July 3, 2019

(I work at a movie theater/restaurant with a very strict no cell phone policy. I’d noticed that a woman has been standing outside of one of our theaters for quite some time, talking to someone on the phone. There’s nothing wrong in her doing this, seeing as she’s not in the theater. I return later with a tray full of food to deliver to the theater, and the woman is still on the phone. As I approach, she flags me down.)
Woman: Sir, hello, excuse me! Could you tell him about your cell phone policy? Here, I’ll put him on speaker phone. (She taps the speaker phone button and holds the phone in front of me.)
Me: Oh, um… Well, we have a very strict no cell phones policy during showtime, you’ll receive a warning from a manager and then you’ll be thrown out without a refund if you are a repeat offender.
Another employee: It’s no tolerance.
Me: Yeah…
(The lady returned to her phone call, clearly angry at who she was talking to, and promptly hung up on him. She apologized and thanked the two of us for helping.)

Have You Tried Just… Not Being Epileptic?

, , , , , | Healthy | June 23, 2019

(For my first job, I work at a tanning salon. I have had epilepsy my whole life. During the interview, I explain everything to the general manager and the procedures in case I have one at work. Well, the inevitable happens and I have a seizure when it is just me and one coworker, with a store full of customers. One of the customers calls 911 and I wake up surrounded by the fire department. Naturally, I have to take off for a few days to recover. This is the conversation between me and the general manager as soon as I return for my next shift.)

GM: “[My Name], I need to see you in my office.”

(We sit down and she hands me a piece of paper.)

GM: “You need to sign this incident report.”

(I look over it carefully and sign it at the bottom. She looks at me sort of sideways and then continues.)

GM: “Why didn’t you just not come into work that day?”

Me: “Well, it’s not like I woke up and knew it was going to happen. I only have about ten minutes to one hour of warning. And I did call you almost exactly an hour before and told you how I was feeling. You told me to stay.”

GM: “Yeah, I didn’t think it was actually going to happen.”

Me: “Um, okay? Then what do you want me to do about that?”

GM: “You need to get a hold of yourself. I can’t have you seizing out in front of everybody and scaring away my customers. Did you skip your medicine or something?”

(I start to choke up and begin to cry because I can’t believe she just said something so rude, as if I can just control my disability whenever I feel like it.)

Me: “No, I didn’t skip my medicine. These things happen like clockwork every single month regardless, and you were fully aware of that at my very first interview. If I could control it like you seem to think I can, I would never have another seizure again. I can’t believe you just said something like that to me.”

GM: “Oh, don’t be so sensitive. Dry your tears and go clock in.”

(I just looked at her before I walked out of her office. This created a permanent wedge between me and the general manager. Neither one of us ever spoke of it again, and I didn’t have another seizure at work for the rest of the time I worked there. I eventually quit on the spot one day because I couldn’t handle the way she talked down to me like I was some insubordinate. Who would really say something like that to someone?!)

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