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She Must Be Exhausted From Holding That Back All The Time

, , , , | Working | December 6, 2021

I work for a grocery delivery company. I am not actually an employee of any grocery store. Because of this, whenever I’m working, employees tend to drop their work-persona around me because I am not a “real” customer. I love it.

Deli Employee: “Hi! How can I help you today?” 

Me: “Can I get a pound of this ham—” *shows her the order on my app* “—cut on #2, please?”

The deli employee drops her customer service voice as soon as she sees who I am.

Deli Employee: “The other b**** who was supposed to be up here has a doctor’s appointment and left early. I get that. I get it. But girl, you got a whole a** job; you gotta get someone to cover for you, because look at this s***! I’m back here alone! Do you understand? These b*****es leave me here alone! I was supposed to clock out three hours ago, but ain’t no one came to help me. I’m ‘bout to walk out right now and my manager can’t say nothing. We’re out of most cheese. F*** am I supposed to do about that? If my manager has the audacity to try and chit-chat with me when I clock out, I’m swinging. I don’t care. She can fire me. Everyone’s hiring; I’ll get a new job today.”

She hands me the ham and returns to cheery smiles

Deli Employee: “Thank you, have a good day! Who’s next? Actually, ma’am, we’re out of rotisserie chickens…”

I swear she didn’t take a breath that whole time.

Either Fill Out An Application Or Shut Up

, , , , | Right | October 25, 2021

Like every other restaurant in the country, we are severely understaffed. It is Sunday, our busiest day of the week, when I am called to the register because a customer wants to talk to the manager.

Customer: “I am very disappointed in this place. I’ve been eating at [Chain Restaurant] for twenty years all over the country and I have never seen one as dirty as this one. There is trash all over the floor…”

She speaks for two solid minutes, repeating herself often.

Customer: “…and there are only a few waitresses running around doing all the work!”

Me: “I’m sorry you are disappointed. The reason for what you’ve experienced is that we are understaffed by about ten servers and half the number of cleaning and kitchen staff we usually have. I promise you the team members we have are doing their best.”

Customer: “Well, then, you should just hire more people!”

I just stare at her for a few seconds.

Me: “Gee, I didn’t think of that. If there’s nothing else you need to tell me, I have to get back to cooking.”

I just left her standing there with her mouth open.

Mothers Like This Are The Worst Breed

, , , , , , | Right | October 15, 2021

My mother has a notoriously aggressive dog. It’s small, but it’s prone to biting and my mom actively encourages it, making her growl and snap because she thinks it’s a funny party trick to show guests. She and the dog have been banned from most groomers. She asks me to carry the dog to a vet and groomer for her.

Me: “[Vet]? Are you sure? I thought she couldn’t go back there?”

Mom: “I called and they said they can take her.”

Me: “Why?”

Mom: “What do you mean, why? She’s a good girl! The old groomer just didn’t know what she was doing! The new groomer said she’d take her!”

Me: “Okay.”

I go to the vet. They don’t do appointments so they don’t know I am coming.

Vet Tech: “Hi! What can I do for y’all today? What a cute puppy, my goodness!”

Me: “Yeah, she’s… she’s… I’m here for grooming.”

Vet Tech: “Okie dokie! What’s the name?”

Me: “[My Name.]”

Vet Tech: “Sorry, sweetie. I don’t have a file for you.”

Me: “Oh, my bad! It’ll be under [Mother].”

Vet Tech: “All righty! I…” *Stares at screen* “One second.”

She goes to the back and returns less than a minute later.

Vet Tech: “[Dog] is approved for vet visits only. You were informed of this.”

She is instantly very serious and no longer happy to see the “cute puppy.”

Me: “So… what do I do? My mom said she called, and you said it was okay?”

Vet Tech: “No. It’s not. You could go to a groomer she hasn’t seen before, because she won’t be barred from there.”

Me: *Drowning in embarrassment* “Okay… let me go call my mom, I guess.”

I step outside and call her. She’s pissed at me, as if it’s my fault. I get her to admit she never gave the vet tech her name or dog’s name over the phone and the vet tech only said that walk-ins for grooming were allowed in general, not that our dog’s ban got lifted.

She’s still mad. She tells me to wait outside for a few minutes and hangs up on me. Through the window, I see the vet tech answer the phone and have a many-minute-long conversation with hate on her face the whole time. When she’s done, she gives me a look like I killed her entire family and I get a text from my mom saying to try again.

Me: “Hi… Did… my mom call you?”

Vet Tech: *Visibly upset* “Yes. [Dog] can get a bath. A bath. Pick her up at three.” *Snatches the leash from me*

Me: “Okay… Be careful, she can be a little rude.”

She shot me a death glare. I cried the whole way home from the embarrassment. They ended up asking me to get her at one and only her back had been washed. I left a big tip with my mom’s credit card.

No ID, No Ida

, , , , , , | Right | September 20, 2021

Hurricane Ida is getting ready to hit, so I go to the store to stock up on groceries (booze). I forgot my ID.

Cashier: “Can I see your ID?”

Me: “No.”

Cashier: “Okay.”

And then she just rang me up. I was tired, and I meant to say, “Sorry, I just realized I don’t have it!” or something polite, but I could only say no. She must’ve just accepted her fate.

Should Sell To Betta People

, , , , | Right | September 16, 2021

I am at a pet store looking for filter cartridges for my turtle tank. I am thinking about applying here because I love animals and have a decent amount of knowledge. An employee I’ve never met and I start up a conversation about moss balls, and since we’re having such a good conversation, I feel more inclined to ask for an application. Just as I’m about to ask, another customer approaches.

Customer: “Do these-looking fish—” *motions to the betta cups* “—eat the same stuff as the glowy fish?”

Employee: “No… No, ma’am. Why?”

Customer: “D***. My daughter wants these glowy fish now and I don’t want to buy any more stuff. She already has one of those frilly fish and she’s starting to get tired of it.”

Employee: *Hesitantly* “Would you be buying their own tank?”

Customer: “Um, no? They’ll live with the other fish.”

Employee: “Betta fish are aggressive and don’t home well with any other fish.”

Me: “Yes, they’ll kill any fish they’re put with.”

Customer: “How soon?”

Employee & Me: “What?”

Customer: “How soon will they kill each other? Because if I can keep them for a few weeks, that’s fine.”

Employee: “They will fight instantly.”

Customer: “Fine. I can always toss the fish.”

Me: *Fearful* “Like… rehoming them?”

Customer: “I can flush it. Right?”

Me: “Bettas are very nice fish. I’m sure one of your friends would be willing to take him in?”

Customer: *Bored* “Mhm.” *Walks off*

Me: *To the employee* “I was about to ask for an application but I… I don’t think I want to anymore.”

Employee: *Dead inside* “Wise.”