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No ID, No Ida

, , , , , , | Right | September 20, 2021

Hurricane Ida is getting ready to hit, so I go to the store to stock up on groceries [booze]. I forgot my ID.

Cashier: “Can I see your ID?”

Me: “No.”

Cashier: “Okay.”

And then she just rang me up. I was tired, and I meant to say, “Sorry, I just realized I don’t have it!” or something polite, but I could only say no. She must’ve just accepted her fate.

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Should Sell To Betta People

, , , , | Right | September 16, 2021

I am at a pet store looking for filter cartridges for my turtle tank. I am thinking about applying here because I love animals and have a decent amount of knowledge. An employee I’ve never met and I start up a conversation about moss balls, and since we’re having such a good conversation, I feel more inclined to ask for an application. Just as I’m about to ask, another customer approaches.

Customer: “Do these-looking fish—” *motions to the betta cups* “—eat the same stuff as the glowy fish?”

Employee: “No… No, ma’am. Why?”

Customer: “D***. My daughter wants these glowy fish now and I don’t want to buy any more stuff. She already has one of those frilly fish and she’s starting to get tired of it.”

Employee: *Hesitantly* “Would you be buying their own tank?”

Customer: “Um, no? They’ll live with the other fish.”

Employee: “Betta fish are aggressive and don’t home well with any other fish.”

Me: “Yes, they’ll kill any fish they’re put with.”

Customer: “How soon?”

Employee & Me: “What?”

Customer: “How soon will they kill each other? Because if I can keep them for a few weeks, that’s fine.”

Employee: “They will fight instantly.”

Customer: “Fine. I can always toss the fish.”

Me: *Fearful* “Like… rehoming them?”

Customer: “I can flush it. Right?”

Me: “Bettas are very nice fish. I’m sure one of your friends would be willing to take him in?”

Customer: *Bored* “Mhm.” *Walks off*

Me: *To the employee* “I was about to ask for an application but I… I don’t think I want to anymore.”

Employee: *Dead inside* “Wise.”

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Bedside Manner Who?

, , , , , | Healthy | August 30, 2021

For many years, a local doctor was my primary care physician. She was also my pediatrician. I moved out of town a few years ago, but my insulin resistance has gotten worse, so I made the drive back to her because I thought I could trust her with my health. This is how it went.

Doctor: “So, you think you have insulin resistance?”

Me: “Uh, I do have it. It’s because of my PCOS. It was diagnosed a few years back—”

Doctor: “But you’re not on [medication]?

Me: “I thought I wasn’t able to be on any medication for it—”

Doctor: “You’ve been aware of this since seventh grade and you’ve never been on medication?! That’s such a shame; you’ve obviously retained so much weight. You wouldn’t be so overweight if someone had caught this sooner. By the looks of it, your pediatrician should have caught this in elementary school!”

Me: “Um… I was diagnosed here. I was told to just diet, exercise, and manage my PCOS to take care of it.”

Doctor: “Oh, God, it was probably [Other Doctor]. Don’t worry, she’s retired now, so—”

Me: “It was you, actually.”

Doctor: “I never diagnosed you with this. I told you I thought you had it. I didn’t say you actually did.”

I was confused out of my mind.

Me: “Um… Okay, but I do, in fact, have it. I’ve had it for years.” 

An awkward silence fell.

Doctor: “Do you go to the lady doctor? Like a…” *whispers* “…gynecologist?”

Me: “Um, yeah, pretty regularly, for my PCOS.”

Doctor: “Well, she should have prescribed you [medication]! I’ll have to get in contact with her and let her know what she’s done.”

Because it’s totally my OBGYN’s job to treat my insulin resistance. She spent the next few minutes talking about my weight in the most insulting way possible.

Doctor: “It’s so sad you got to be so big!”

Keep in mind, I wear a large. I’m overweight but I’m not exactly the star of “My 600 Pound Life.” She made comments saying she could tell I had insulin resistance by the way I carried all my weight in my “front tire”. Yes, she loved calling my stomach a “front tire”. She pointed out every lump on my body in an “Aw, you poor baby!” kind of way. After all that, she gave me this gem.

Doctor: “Now I need you to go on this diet, but I don’t like calling it a diet! Putting patients on diets can make them feel bad about their bodies!”

Gee, lady, I sure would hate for you to make me self-conscious. Also, she recommended this diet immediately after I told her I was already on the very same diet. I don’t think she believed me.

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​​STOP And Think About This For A Moment

, , , , | Right | July 23, 2021

I work as a licensed insurance agent for an agency that exclusively represents one of the largest insurance companies in the country. One day, I received a call from a client who needed to submit a claim on his automobile insurance. I got him successfully transferred to the claims department to get this done. Ten minutes later, my phone rings again.

Me: “Thanks for calling [Agency] of [Company]. My name is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, [My Name], this is [Customer]. You helped me get my claim submitted earlier?”

Me: “Yes, [Customer], what can I do for you now?”

Customer: “The claims department from [Company] sent me a text with my claim number in it. At the end of the text, it says to reply with the word ‘STOP’ if I don’t want to continue to receive texts. What is this?”

Me: “That just means that if you want to keep receiving texts about your claim, then don’t do anything. But if you don’t want to be bothered with the texts, then reply with the word ‘STOP.’”

Customer: “Okay, but am I continuing to receive this text now? I don’t want that.”

Me: “I’m not sure I understand, sir.”

Customer: “Is this text continuing to come to me if I don’t send the word ‘STOP’? I don’t want to use that much data. I don’t want to be charged for that.”

Me: *Head on desk* “No, no, sir. That isn’t happening. That text has ended.”

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How Dare You Buy Stuff We Have In Stock?!

, , , , , , , | Working | June 30, 2021

Due to the current health crisis, my husband and I have tried to figure out ways to limit the number of visits to various stores. We also enjoy having some beer on the weekend. Instead of going to the beer store once or twice a week, we decide to buy a month’s supply at a time. This happens while we’re checking out at the beer store.

Husband: *To the cashier* “Hi, I’ve got [number] cases here.”

Cashier: *Sucks her teeth and replies with an instant attitude* “You know, that only leaves us with [other number] of cases to sell to other customers.”

Husband: “Well, I’ll be putting this on a debit card.”

The transaction is completed. The cashier calls out to my husband as he is exiting the store.

Cashier: “And I don’t appreciate you coming in here when we are due to close in twenty minutes!”

I was shocked by the interaction when my husband told me. I have felt the attitude from that particular clerk before. I know the owner by sight and made a mental note to speak with him the next time I saw him around town. When I told him, he apologized to me and told me that his clients can buy however much of something that they want and can walk in with one minute until closing if they want. He told me that it was not the first complaint about that cashier and if there was one more, she would be gone. She must have had another complaint because I never saw her in the store again.

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