Can’t Fight Tooth Or Nail For That Appointment

, , , | Right | January 16, 2019

(I work at a very small dentist office in a very small town. We service at least 1,000 patients with one dentist. It’s a Friday. The doctor is at a meeting all day and I am just here answering phones. We are an affordable dentist office. Nothing fancy here.)

Me: “Dr. [Dentist]’s office; how can I help you?”

Patient: “Yeah, um, I was in there a few months ago and had a root canal. I couldn’t afford a crown, so the doc did his magic, but the filling is really loose and I think it may come out. Can I come in this afternoon and have him fix it again?”

Me: “Oh, no! I am so sorry to hear that. Unfortunately, the doctor is out today and we are completely filled up on Monday. I will be more than happy to get you in on Tuesday around two o’clock.”

Patient: “WHAT?! Tuesday is too long to wait! My tooth is already ruined. If I wait until Tuesday it will be totally ruined! I will just go somewhere else!”

Me: “That’s fine, sir. Have a great day.”

(This happens more often than not. People think they are the only patients we have and that the world revolves around their tiny, sad, smalltown lives. Twenty minutes go by. The phone rings again.)

Me: ”Dr. [Dentist]’s office; how can I help you?”

Patient: “Yeah, um, I’ll take the two o’clock on Tuesday…”

Me: “Not a problem, sir. I’ve got you down and we will see you then. Thanks and have a great day.”

(Sad thing is, he probably called around and found out how much most other dentists charge for simple procedures. You’re paying for his nice new office, chairs, all the pretty assistants, and his new BMW parked outside.)

No Library, No Fee, No ID-ea

, , , , , , | Learning | January 9, 2019

(I’m at college. I go to purchase a lab manual.)

Clerk: “Sorry, you don’t have a valid student ID. Go to the library and get a new one.”

(I’ve been using this ID for three years, but whatever.)

Librarian: “You need paperwork from the business office to get a renewed ID.”

(I go to the business office.)

Clerk: “You need to pay off your debts before I can do anything for you.”

Me: “Yeah, okay. I’ve been meaning to do that, anyway.”

(It’s only the first week of school. I pull up my student account; I owe $240.)

Clerk: “That’ll be $430.”

Me: “What? No, see?”

(I show her my account.)

Clerk: “It’s actually $430.”

Me: “Why?”

Clerk: “It’s $430.”

Me: “Why?”

Clerk: “Fees.”

Me: “Why is it $230 on my account but $430 here?”

Clerk: *shrugs*

Me: “…”

Clerk: “…”

Me: “I don’t know what you want me to do.”

Clerk: “Pay?”

Me: “I don’t know what I’m supposed to be paying.”

Clerk: “$430!”

Me: “Why?!”


Me: “WHY?!”

Clerk: “Do you want a manager?”

Me: “Yes, please!”

(I never do this. I’m usually a pushover for workers, but this is two hundred dollars that I’d be paying “just because.”)

Manager: *on speaker phone* “What’s the problem?”

Me: “My account on my phone says my classes cost $230, but her computer says $430.”

Manager: “It’s $430.”

Me: “Why? I don’t understand why it’s $200 more.”

Manager: “Don’t worry; I’ll fix it. Give me a moment.”

Me: *finally relieved*

Manager: “Refresh the page.”

(I refresh my page. It’s now $430.)

Me: “…”

Clerk: “You can pay with a payment plan which will, in total, cost more, but it’ll be much easier.”

Me: *giving up* “I’d rather pay it all off right now.”

Clerk: “Okay! Here’s some paperwork for that.” *immediately flips to the last page and points where I should sign*

(I am an incredibly paranoid person. I read the terms and agreements. I’m that b****.)

Me: “This is the paperwork for the payment plan.”

Clerk: “…”

Me: “I’m paying it all, right now. And I want a receipt.”

Clerk: *rolls her eyes, gets me the right paperwork, and gives me a receipt*

The Great Fall

, , , , | Friendly | October 15, 2018

(I am with a good friend at a fast food restaurant. We place our orders. He gets his soda and for some reason begins moving it back and forth between his hands. In that moment, everything seems to go in slow motion. In one of the hand exchanges, a finger nudges the drink up a bit. He overcompensates with the other hand, and it gets nudged a bit further until… after a series of repeated failed grabs, much like a football receiver desperately trying to hang onto a ball that’s at the tip of his fingers… the cup and contents go above his head and come back down with a grand splat on the ground. He stands there, sheepishly looking at the mess some poor employee is going to have to mop up.)

Me: “Well, that was smooth!”

This Conversation Keeps Rolling Around

, , , , | Right | October 10, 2018

(A customer is standing in front of where the rolls are served on the buffet, but the pan is almost empty.)

Customer: “Are y’all going to put any more rolls on the buffet?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. They will be ready in five minutes.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. That’s fine.”

(I take five steps away from where she is standing, then immediately walk the five steps back.)

Customer: “Are they ready yet?”

Me: “Not yet.” *points to my watch* “They will take about five more minutes.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll come back.”

(I walk a few steps to the salad area to wipe the counter, and then she starts waving at me from the same spot she has been standing in.)

Customer: “Are they ready yet?”

Me: “…”

In Her World February Has 150 Days

, , , , | Right | October 9, 2018

(My store sells an extended warranty on select products in the store. However, the warranty is through a different company than the store. Whenever I sell it, I explain that you have to activate it on their website and then contact them if anything is wrong, not the store. We can’t do anything unless it’s within our return policy: thirty days for electronics.)

Woman: *to her daughter, who is about five* “Here.” *hands her a tablet that has a broken screen, with the receipt and warranty pamphlet* “Give it to that lady and she’ll fix it.”

Daughter: *running up to me* “Can you fix this for me?!”

Woman: *to me* “We called earlier to make sure you have it in stock. And someone said you do. We need to exchange it. We called [Extended Warranty Company] and they said to exchange it.”

(I examine the receipt; it’s from February, and it’s currently July. We can’t return the item in the store since it’s over thirty days. Also, there’s a return receipt stapled to it saying the item was already returned.)

Me: “Well, I used to work at the service desk, and we never did any returns for the extended warranty in the store after our return policy days end, which is thirty for electronic items. They usually want you to ship the item to them, and they’ll replace it by giving you money back.”

Woman: “They said it would be $100 to mail it and it would take six weeks to get a check!”

Me: “Huh, that’s weird. Well, let me call the service desk and ask them what to do.”

(The woman’s husband has since arrived, and chimes in.)

Husband: “They let us return it before if it was under warranty!”

Me: *on phone with the desk* “Hey. I have a customer here that called [Warranty Company], and they said to return it in the store, but they bought it in February and there’s another receipt that said it was returned.”

Service Desk: “They have to go through [Warranty Company]. If it was still within thirty days, no problem. But it’s not.”

Me: “All right, that’s what I figured. Thank you.” *to customers* “I’m sorry, but they informed me that since it’s over our thirty-day return policy, we can’t do anything in the store. You have to go through [Warranty Company], but it’s been under a year since you bought it, so it should still have a manufacturer warranty on it. It might be easier to replace it that way.”

Woman: “But they told us we can return it here!”

Me: “Did you tell them when you bought it?”

Woman: “No! Why would I?!”

Me: “Well, they wouldn’t have known that it’s been over our policy for returns. You only have thirty days for electronics, unfortunately, and this was purchased in February.”

Woman: “What do I do, then?!”

Me: “I would contact the manufacturer, and then [Extended Warranty Company]. They will replace it for you.”

Daughter: *to mom* “Will we be getting a new one?”

Woman: *to daughter* “NOPE. Because this woman said no!

(They stormed off.)

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