(I was originally hired to help this store move to a better location and stayed with them as a sales associate for a few months before life took me elsewhere.  The following occurred the first day the store reopened.)

Customer: Hi!  I was wondering if you had any cardboard boxes I could take.

Me: I don’t think we do.  We throw all of our cardboard in the trash compactor every day.

Customer: Well you used to be able to give me boxes all the time.

Me: It’s my understanding that the old store didn’t have a compactor.  Now that we do, we get rid of the boxes on a daily basis.

Customer: Well can you go in the back and check?

Me: Sure I can check but I really don’t think we have anything.

Customer: You know what?!  Never mind.  Obviously you are just trying to get out of helping me.

Me: I don’t mind.  Rea-

Customer: Too late!  Forget it!

(I spotted the woman talking to a manager a few minutes later and I never saw her again.)

So it’s my last last working at a popular office supply store since it’s the last day of the store as well. After closing time a customer comes to the door and the conversation goes like this

Customer: you guys closed? I just wanna return something it will be quick
Me: yea were closed….forever
customer: oh really? Can I come in and return this? I’ll be quick
me: when I say we are closed I mean all our registers are closed and we can’t do a return but there are other stores nearby that can help you.
customer: I don’t understand why you can’t help me. Cmon lady!
Me: sorry sir I cant, closes door

My family and I took a day trip to visit my grandmother in a nursing home, two hours away — always a stressful situation. Before heading home we stopped at a local pizza and pasta restaurant for dinner. It’s not a fancy place, and does not pretend to be. You order at the counter and pick up your own food when it is ready.

While we were eating dinner we heard complaints from a nearby table. The man at the table was complaining that nobody had taken his order. He grumbled as he headed to the counter. A few minutes later his wife came over to us as we were eating dinner and started talking.

“What can I do to get a cup of coffee around here? I see you’re eating dinner, but I’m just so frustrated.”

I put my head down and stared intently at my food, and my husband looks up politely. The lady keeps talking.

“We went to [Restaurant] down the street and sat down to have coffee and dessert. When we ordered they told us we had to move to a different area.” That restaurant has a restaurant area and a café area. “We were so upset that we left.”

I continued eating, and my husband, who had finished eating dinner made appropriately sympathetic noises. I was biting my tongue, ready to tell her to leave us alone, but not wanting to be rude or make a scene.

The woman continued, “Then, we come to this restaurant, and we sit down, but they don’t come to take our order. They tell us we have to order at the counter! Then, when we go to the counter, we find out that the person who makes their coffee isn’t even here tonight. What does it take to get a cup of coffee in this neighborhood?!”

My husband and I responded, almost simultaneously, “We are from out of town; don’t ask us.”

The woman continued to complain for a few more minutes and then left. Thanks for ruining our dinner, lady.

(I’m the receptionist. A call comes in to the main switchboard (me))
Me: (company name), (me) speaking, how can I help you?
Caller: (silence. A sigh)
Me: Hello?
Caller: Hello?
Me: Hello. How can I help you?
Caller: Who am I speaking with?
Me: The receptionist, at (company).
Caller: And what’s your name?
Me: (name). And what’s yours?
Caller: Are you automated, or real?
Me: Ha ha, I’m a real person! How can I help you?
Caller: No, you’re not.
Me: Um, I assure you, I am.
Caller: No. You’re not. You’re automated.
Me: Um…I promise you, I am real?
Caller: (silence)
Me: Hello?
Caller: Transfer me to Sam.
Me: Sure. Have a good day, I guess?

(In college I work for an offshore caterer. It is a Saturday in June, one of the busiest days of one of our busiest months. It’s the kind of day where we are always a little bit behind, simply because we have more deliveries than we have vans to deliver them. I show up to this customer’s house about fifteen minutes late.)

Customer: “Hi! We’ve been waiting for you!”

Me: “Yes, I’m sorry but we are slammed today. I see your guests won’t be arriving for another hour. That’s plenty of time for me to get set up and out of your way.”

(I begin bringing everything in and setting up the chafing dishes. She has a very nice table setting, and I’m very careful not to mess it up.)

Customer: “Are you sure that’s enough water in the pans? Won’t it run out?”

Me: “Yes, this is plenty, especially since all the food trays are deep; if you put too much in it will spill out all over this beautiful table.”

(The real reason is that the water keeps condensing and re-evaporating, but I don’t have time to give her a lesson in thermodynamics. I go out to get the trays of food, and as I am dropping the first one into its water pan, I can feel it hit the water, but it’s too late, and water sloshes out all over her table. I look up, stunned.)

Me: “Oh… um…”

Customer: “Oh, no! I put more in because I thought it wasn’t enough!”

Me: “Well, I did say…”

Customer: “Now my table is all messed up!”

Me: “Yeah, well, I’ll just empty these out and bring in the rest of the food, then.”

(She still tipped me, though.)