Won’t Be Stuck Here For Long

, , , , , | Healthy | January 19, 2021

I am newly divorced. I am also quite stubborn and make a decent attempt at home repairs on my own. This is not one of my shining moments.

I attempt to fix a leaking pipe under a sink using my hot glue gun. Don’t ask. I make a serious error in judgment and end up with hot melted glue completely covering my index finger and partially covering the middle and ring fingers of my right hand. The pain is immediate and intense. I quickly get ice and water in a glass and dunk my fingers into it. It is the only thing that stops the pain. I cannot pull the thick layer of glue off my fingers without perhaps removing a layer of skin. I quickly call my private physician’s office and explain what happened and that I was on my way. They encourage me to visit the emergency room at the hospital, but I tell them that I much prefer to see my physician individually.

I drive myself — manual transmission with my fingers still dipped in the ice water — to my doctor, who is luckily only five minutes away. When I walk into the waiting room, it is packed. As I do not have an appointment, I know I am in for quite a wait. I check in and sit down. Within about ten minutes, the ice in my glass melts and the water quickly becomes room temperature. The horrible pain returns. I go to the receptionist.

Me: “Excuse me. I have some rather bad burns on my fingers. Can you get me some ice for my water?”

Receptionist: “Sure will.”

She returns with three small ice cubes. I know it is not going to last long, but I accept what I can get. Unfortunately, it only takes a few minutes before that ice also melted. Not wanting to be a bother, I resign myself to the pain. Within five minutes, it is overwhelming. As a purely physical reaction, I lean over in my chair between my legs and start rocking back and forth over the floor.

After a few minutes of watching me do this, a man in the waiting room apparently has enough. He approaches the receptionist.

Man: “Ma’am, you need to get this young lady back to see the doctor immediately. She is in obvious pain, and she needs to jump the line.”

Woman: *From her chair* “Yes, please get her back to the doctor right away.”

The rest of the waiting room chimed in agreement. A nurse came within moments and brought me to an exam room. The doctor gave me some pain medication. As I sat, the water softened my skin and I was slowly able to peel the glue off without causing further damage. I ended up with serious second-degree burns to my three fingers. It took weeks to heal completely but eventually did. Fortunately, the worst of the pain subsided within a few hours.

I am still thankful to those kind strangers who allowed me to jump in front of their appointments. They may never know how much they helped me that day.

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I Don’t Work Here: Indian Edition

, , , , | Right | January 19, 2021

I live in a part of the country that’s experiencing a growing population of people from India, and many of these folks find employment at our local [National Retail Chain].

I’m at this store, waiting for the next open self-serve register, when a pair of older Caucasian women approach an Indian woman who is wearing a lovely, brightly-colored saree and clearly using one of the self-serve registers.

They start asking her where they can find women’s sweaters, and she politely smiles and says she doesn’t work there. They apologize and walk away. The best part? Not even two feet from the Indian lady was an actual employee — not Indian — in the standard blue vest with our little logo on the front and a huge one on the back, name tag and all, and they just walked away from her.

So, in my neighborhood, I guess it’s assumed that if you’re from India and at [National Retail Chain], you obviously work there.

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Of Mice And Technologically-Compromised Men

, , , | Right | January 17, 2021

We have an older fellow in his eighties who’s been coming to us for computer service for several years — usually to deal with spyware or for help putting ink in his printer.

This time, he brings in his all-in-one and mouse.

Customer: “The mouse stopped working.”

I test it.

Me: “It just needs batteries.”

Customer: “I didn’t think it needed batteries.”

Since they don’t make fusion-powered mice, I’m not sure how he came to that conclusion, unless someone gave him the mouse with batteries already in it.

Customer: “Also, my Facebook has disappeared.”

I check, and I don’t know what he’s talking about because it is working fine. Maybe the mouse was acting up when he tried to access the web page?

He’s also VERY impatient. He double- or triple-clicks EVERYTHING. When his email page doesn’t load in one second, he keeps clicking on it over and over.

Me: “Please give it a couple of seconds for the page to load.”

His all-in-one is fair at best and doesn’t load pages as quickly as something that has an SSD and more RAM. I usually try to get people to break themselves of that habit, especially if they make purchases online.

A half-hour after he takes the computer home, he calls us.

Customer: “It won’t turn on.”

Me: “Is everything plugged in tight?”

Customer: “Everything is plugged in tight.”

Me: “Do you have a power strip?”

Customer: “I do and it’s turned on.”

I was out of ideas. I sent my tech the next day to check it out. The old guy only lived five minutes away. 

The technician came back after fifteen minutes. As I suspected, it was user error. The old guy had a power strip but only his printer was plugged into it. He never plugged the computer’s power cord into the power strip.

The tech also told me that once the computer was turned on and operational, he was using the mouse upside-down, which is odd because he had been using it the correct way the day before.

I’ll give the guy credit for trying to keep up with technology and being online with Facebook, but man… it gets frustrating working with people sometimes.

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Pure Wonton Lying

, , , , | Right | January 15, 2021

I work at a Chinese place taking orders on the phone and delivering. I answer the phone and it is a lady who we’ve had problems with in the past. In the past, she’s requested free soda because her daughter knows the owner’s daughter; naturally, that entitles her to free stuff, right?

My boss has given it to her in the past because she likes to appease her customers when she takes their orders, but she gives us permission to deny this on her next order.

After taking this customer’s order:

Customer: “I have a coupon for a free drink.”

I know she is lying because the only coupons we have are online-only and are dollar amounts off the cost of your order.

Me: “We currently don’t have any coupons like that, ma’am.”

Customer: “I got the coupon a month ago in the mail.”

Me: “That is impossible as we do not send coupons out in the mail, but I will give you a discount.”

I give her the maximum discount I can because I’m in a good mood, which is $5 off; she can get two drinks with that. She agrees and we finish up the call

She calls back two or three times but my coworker answers it so I’m not sure what it’s for exactly. My boss bags her order and marks off each item as she puts it in the bag. The only item she does not mark is the large wonton soup because it is the last thing she puts in.

It’s worthy to note that she has claimed to be missing items prior to this occasion, which is partly why my boss marks off each item she puts in the bag.

After the food is delivered to her, she calls back.

Customer: “I’m missing the wonton soup.”

Me: *To my boss* “Did you put in the wonton soup?”

Boss: “Yes, it’s on the top.”

I explain that to the customer.

Customer: *Insistent* “No, I don’t have it. You have to send me a new one.”

Me: “No, we will not, since we did send the entire order, and due to bad weather, we will not make our driver go back to your house.”

Customer: *Yelling* “The roads aren’t bad!”

I’m looking out the window to strong winds and large sticks in the road.

Me: “I will not send you anything nor give you a refund. I wish you a good night.”

I hang up. She calls back.

Customer: “I want to speak to your owner.”

Yes, she says, “your owner.” By this point, I’m already angry at her since I was kind enough to give her a discount despite her lying about a coupon.

Me: “I don’t have an owner.”

Customer: “I want to speak to your manager!”

Me: “I am the manager.”

I am not.

Customer: “I want to speak to the owner!”

Me: “I own the building now.”

Customer: “Where did [Boss] go?!”

I look at my boss standing behind me, listening and laughing.

Me: “The previous owner moved away and I own the restaurant now.”

She hangs up on me. She then calls back again!

Customer: “I’m gonna call the Better Business Bureau on you!”

Me: “Okay.”

I hung up. We haven’t seen her since.

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A Rabbi Walks Into A Supermarket…

, , , , , , | Working | December 24, 2020

It was Christmas Eve and I was working a very long shift. We have a regular customer who happens to be a rabbi. He is an older man so I offered to help him with his shopping. We chatted as we shopped, asking about each other’s families, etc.

When we reached the end of his list I said goodbye to him and, not thinking, I added, “Merry Christmas!” As soon as the words left my mouth, I realized what I had just said and to whom I had said it.

I was about to explain that I had been saying it so many times that day that it was almost a habit when he smiled, held up his hand and said, “Don’t you dare apologize! I’ll take it in the spirit in which you meant it and wish you a Happy Hanukkah!”

God Bless the people who aren’t concerned with political correctness!

This story is part of our Feel Good roundup for December 2020!

Read the next Feel Good roundup for December 2020 story!

Read the Feel Good roundup for December 2020!

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