Too Many Assumptions Spoil The Broth

, , , , , , | Working | November 28, 2017

(I’m interviewing for a position as a dishwasher in a local diner, and the manager seems nice.)

Manager: “Would you like to be a cook?”

Me: “Um, no. I don’t know how to cook.”

Manager: “Who doesn’t know how to cook?”

Me: “Me.”

(He kept insisting that I be a cook, even though I told him I would rather wash dishes. He seemed very disappointed and never called me back. I found another job elsewhere. I don’t know why they would advertise for a dishwasher and need a cook. Very weird.)

What Goes Up, Must Come Crashing Down

, , , , , | Working | November 22, 2017

(We are interviewing potential applicants for a series of new jobs. We have met several at the entrance to the building and are escorting them to our respective floors.)

Applicant:Ugh! Why is this lift so slow! Doesn’t it know we’re all busy?!”

Boss: “Yes, you’ve looked very busy while staring at [social media] for the past 15 minutes.”

Applicant: “What else is there to do?!”

Boss: “Actually listen? We told you at reception that data analysis was on the third floor. Had you bothered to lift your head from your phone at all, you might have realised that we’re now coming up to the seventh. So, unless you want to be interviewed for a managerial role, I think you have missed your chance.”

(She blushed and sprinted down the four floors instead of using the lift again. At the end of the day, I heard she tried to blame us for her tardiness. Her potential boss, however, also noticed that she was on her phone the whole time, too, and promptly closed the door in her face.)

Doesn’t Know How To Politely Decline

, , , , | Working | October 11, 2017

(I am 23, at an interview for my job as a technical service rep for a copier company, which means I would go to the customers in the field to fix copiers. They have 21 people complete a written test. Of those, seven are chosen for interview and at the end, one is hired, all within the same day. Of the first 21, I recognize one of my former classmates, who was somewhat on the “wild side.” Since I’m fresh out of an industrial electronics course, the technical tests go easy. Then the interview: Two men are bombarding me with questions.)

Interviewer: “I have you and someone else, equal; I don’t know which one to choose. I go see one of your pals and I ask him why should I choose you over the other one; what would they answer?”

Me: *thinks for a moment* “Because I’m the best of the two.”

(It’s a job interview. You have to sell yourself. They silently take some notes. To me, it seems they simply want to know how sure of myself I am. That is fine. A few hours later, I get a call that I have the job. A couple of weeks later, I happen to see that former classmate. He comes to me and congratulates me on the job.)

Former Classmate: “Did they asked you that weird question about you and someone else being equal and stuff?”

Me: “Yes.”

Former Classmate: “What did you answer?”

Me: “That I was the best of the two. Why? What did you answer?”

Former Classmate: “I told them to ask me questions that made f****** sense.”

Me: *dumbfounded* “Wow… Well, see ya.”

(About a week later, I happen to meet one of the men that was interviewing. I ask him if he remembers someone answering something like that to that question.)

Interviewer: “Yes, I do remember.”

Me: “What did you do?”

Interviewer: “We put our pen down, asked a few questions to be polite, and as soon as he left the room, we put his file down the trashcan. Can you imagine someone with this behavior dealing with customers?”

(For the record, I worked for that company for over ten years before being laid off following cutbacks. As for that other guy, although he had somehow managed to get a diploma in industrial electronics, he found a job as a janitor at the local mall.)