Schooling The Secretary On Her Paperwork Skills

, , , , , | Working | May 14, 2020

I move to Texas in 2009. Everyone says I will get a teaching position easily, since I teach math. However, jobs are not forthcoming.

I finally get an interview with a school after applying on their district’s website. The interview is on a Thursday, so I am not expecting any news until the following week. Also, schools rarely call back candidates who they do not hire.

On Tuesday morning the next week, I get a call at home. My phone identifies it as the school, so I’m excited to answer.

Me: “Hello?”

Secretary: “Hello, Mr. [My Name]. This is [High School] in [District]. We’d like to schedule you for an interview. Would you be available tomorrow morning?”

I’m thinking it is a second interview to meet more staff.

Me: “Oh, that’d be great. Is there anything extra you’d like me to bring to this second interview?”

Secretary: *Pause* “Second interview?”

Me: “I interviewed with your principal last Thursday.”

Secretary: “Oh… Never mind.” *Click*

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An Eleventh-Hour Interview

, , , , , | Working | May 11, 2020

I apply for a job at a restaurant that is famous for having girls in skimpy outfits as waitresses, but is supposedly “family-friendly.” I don’t hear back for a week, so I figure I’ll just forget about it.

Late at night, I’m browsing the Internet and I get a message saying that I’ve got a new email.

“We would like to meet you in one hour to interview. Please reply if yes.”

It’s 1:00 am. Of course, I don’t reply! Luckily, they don’t email me again. Guess they aren’t so friendly!

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All Aboard The Rocket Train

, , , , , | Working | May 7, 2020

I’m interviewing for a shipping clerk job that says there’s no experience required.

Interviewer: “So, do you think that you can do this job?”

Me: “Yes.”

Interviewer: “Are you sure? Since you don’t have any experience.”

Me: “But you train, right?”

Interviewer: “Yes!”

Me: “So, yes, I can learn.”

Interviewer: “But do you really think so?”

Me: “I mean, it’s not rocket science!” 

Interviewer: *Nodding* “Right! It’s not.”

I never got a call back. You decide why.

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Taking Some Tips From A Certain President

, , , , | Working | May 7, 2020

I’ve applied for and am waiting to interview for a receptionist job at an office. I have experience and the interview is supposed to be at three. I’m right on time and the receptionist asks me to take a seat.

Okay, maybe the interviewer is busy.

I wait and wait. Thirty minutes go by and I’m trying to figure out how to leave. Just then, the interviewer is finally ready and apologizes for the wait. He’s a middle-aged guy with a crazed look in his eyes. We go to his office and sit.

Interviewer: *Fast* “I’m the new manager here. I just got transferred from [Nearby City] and there was a whole bunch of staff here. I fired them all! So, now I’m looking for new staff.”

Me: *Blinks* “Okay.”

Interviewer: “Yeah, they were all horrible, dreadful people and needed to be fired instantly! But I do need new people. So, you’ve worked in an office before?”

The interview went normally after that, but all the while, I kept picturing him pointing at me and saying, “You’re FIRED!” I’m sure he had his reasons for firing them, but I definitely do not want to work for someone who is so keen on taking people’s livelihoods. I went home and told my friends and family and they agreed. What do you think?

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Crippling Her Chances Of Getting The Job

, , , , , | Working | May 5, 2020

I work in the same office as my brother. He had an injury as a child and finds it difficult to move around without a wheelchair. We are doing interviews today.

Brother: “[My Name]! Can you help, please!” 

I turn and see him being wheeled away by someone I have never seen before. My brother is trying to keep the brakes on, but she is pushing so hard it is wearing them down. 

Brother: “She isn’t listening to me!”

Woman: “Now shush. You shouldn’t be talking!”

Me: “Excuse me! What on earth are you doing? 

Woman: “Oh, I’m just taking this differently-abled person for a walk. They need extra special attention!”

I’m speechless.

Woman: “Do you mind holding the door?” 

Me: “I do, actually.”

I move to grab the chair and she pushes me hard into the printer behind me. 

Woman: “Excuse me, misogynist! You do not have permission to touch me!” 

Brother: “And you don’t have permission to touch me!”

The woman actually pokes his cheek.

Woman: “SHUSH!”

Me: “All right. I’ve had enough. [Coworker], call security. This woman is to be removed.”

Woman: “Oh, how typical. The woman has to leave because the misogynist assaulted her.”

Me: “You are physically moving my brother against his will. You’re lucky I’m not getting the police involved.”

Woman: “Whatever. I’m actually here for an interview.”

Me: *Laughing* “Well, I doubt you’ll be getting that job. What is it for, anyway?”

Woman: “IT technician.”

My brother starts laughing hysterically.

Woman: “Poor boy. He’s obviously depraved.”

Me: “No, he’s laughing because he’s the IT manager. He would be your boss if you got through the interview.”

Brother: “Not a chance in Hell!”

She gawks at him and stutters a garbled excuse for her behaviour. As security arrives and escorts her out, she finally says something coherent. 


Half The Office: “ME!”

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