Manager: “I’m afraid we’re not offering you the position of department manager.”

Pause.

Manager: “Well, it’s generally not seen as professional to crack jokes instead of answering questions at the interview.”

Pause:

Manager: “When we asked you how you’d deal with problematic customers, you said tasers.”

Pause:

Manager: “Well, you do realise that the fact you weren’t joking makes that worse… right?”

A couple of weeks ago, I interviewed at a fast-food restaurant that specializes in roast beef. While I had a job with a different fast food place that was popular with kids and had a letter as its most notable feature on its signage, I was looking for something with more stable hours.

I also wanted to get some leadership experience under my belt, as that looks nice on a resume in any industry. Since the roast beef place was hiring, quote, “all positions”, I took a risk and applied as a shift manager.

I got a text on Monday asking me to come in for an interview on Thursday at 4:30 PM. I managed to get them to agree to 4:45 PM. I got off at 3 PM, yes, but I currently do not drive, so my boyfriend had to drive me, and the earliest he could get off was 4 PM, but there were too many factors involved that could push that till his normal time of 4:30 PM.

Thursday comes around. At around 3 PM, the interviewing store texts me. Note that all texts are paraphrased.

Text: “Hey [My Name], this is [Manager]. I realized I looked at the schedule wrong, and my manager isn’t working today. Can we do it next week on Wednesday, same time?”

Me: “Sure, I’ll have to let you know for sure Sunday or Monday, as that’s when our schedule comes out.”

So plans were canceled for Thursday, and we rescheduled for the following Wednesday, which I’m ready for that day, when I get another text.

Text: “[Manager] again. The General Manager had a family emergency and had to leave early. I am so sorry about this. Can we do it next Thursday?”

Me: “As of now, yes, let me confirm once the new schedule comes out.”

I would have ended this here, but I saw a lot of signs that I’d be getting interviewed for a manager position, and so I decided to stick it out.

This time, I got a text a whole half hour before we were to be there; we were literally going down the stairs when I got it.

Text: “Hey, [My Name], it’s [Manager]. I’m sorry, but we are just super busy today. Can we do next Wednesday at 4:30 PM?”

Me: “Yeah, okay, I can do that.”

Now, on that Friday, I found out I was working until 4:30 PM that day. It would be cutting it close, but since the interviewing store was across the street from my place of work, I could JUST make it.

So, I go in. The interview wasn’t much of an interview. It was three minutes of questions and twenty-seven minutes of them discussing the job environment. Including things like the schedule being for two weeks at a time, always out well before it starts (both a welcome change); forty hours a week guaranteed, opportunity for overtime, sounds like a dream from where I was then working. They would even cater to my very specific requirements for working days.

I’m offered the job. I accept. I explained I need two weeks to put in my notice with the then-current employer. Okay, not a problem, typical. I was originally going to put my notice in for that Thursday, since I would do it when I went in to work the next day. So, my date to start was set for two weeks from that next date (so two weeks from then, would be a Friday).

Through a random turn of events, I ended up turning in my notice one day early, but whatever. I worked out my two weeks. During this time, we were regularly checking with the new store to make sure I was still on track to start.

Funnily enough, I wasn’t on the schedule for the old place on the last day I was gonna work. I couldn’t get started at the new place early, though.

This is where things go badly. The Wednesday before I was to start, my boyfriend and I went by the new place to verify when I would start. I was certain it was Friday due to when I was originally going to turn in my notice, but he insisted it was Thursday.

So we go in to eat (this was planned regardless), and we ask while we’re there. The general manager was busy, but I left my number for a call/text as soon as she could.

An hour later, right as we were getting home, I got a text.

Text: “[My Name], it’s [Manager] at [Restaurant]. Due to it being winter and the slower season, we’re cutting crew all around and hours as well, and we don’t think we can go through with hiring you after all.”

Related:
The Worst Job You Never Had

I work for a coffee chain that’s opening two new locations in a new massive mall development, so we’re hiring like crazy. This results in conducting group interviews to get through the numbers. 

We start with a breezy opening question.

Me: “So, what’s everyone’s favorite drink from [Coffee Chain]?”

Interviewee #1: “I like black coffee, but then when I get bored of it, I pour in milk halfway through and turn it into tea.”

Me: “Tea?”

Interviewee #1: “Yeah. You know how, when you pour milk in coffee to turn it into tea?”

I look to the other interviewees to see if any of them will step in to correct her.

Interviewee #2: “Wow…”

Here we go.

Interviewee #2: “I didn’t know that!”

Oh no…

Not one of them knew enough to contradict her. At this point, I wasn’t blaming them, but the recruitment guy who let all these resumés get to the group interview stage.

I get things back on track.

Interviewee #3: “I like the coconut frappe.”

Me: “Well, a frappe is a Starbucks drink. I wanted to know your favorite drink from [Our Chain].”

Interviewee #3: “Oh, I don’t order any drinks from here. They all suck.”

And just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse…

Interviewee #4: “This isn’t Starbucks?”

I work for a radio station that presents local news, with a little world news segment. We offer a summer internship for journalism students at the local university to come and see how radio news works, and even help put together the script for some stories. Part of this involves a quick test during the interview stage, asking them to write a quick headline and copy for made-up world news events.

Manager: “Why didn’t you put [Student’s Name] through to the consideration list?”

Me: “Oh, that guy? Look, we only have two intern spaces, so they need to go to the very best.”

Manager: “What’s wrong with [Student’s Name]? He’s the son of a friend, so I kinda wanted to give him a chance.”

Me: “On his newscast copy, he said guerrilla warfare was ‘monkeys with guns’.”

Manager: “…Never mind.”

An acquaintance of mine is looking for work. She’s good with table games, so I tell her the name of my manager at the casino where I work and say:

Me: “Go to the casino and ask for [Manager’s Name]. That’s the best way to start.”

A few weeks later, my manager stops me in the hall.

Manager: “Hey, do you know a woman named [Acquaintance’s Name]?”

Me: “Yeah, I do. Did she come in to talk to you?”

Manager: *Raising an eyebrow.* “Not exactly. She put your name and my name down on her application as personal contacts. Then, in her group interview, before she even introduced herself, I asked her, “So, how do you know [Manager’s Name]?”

I freeze. 

Manager: “She laughed and said, ‘Oh, I don’t. My friend, [My Name] told me to say I know you, so I’d get the job.'”

Me: “I… never told her to do that.”

Manager: “Yeah, I figured. Don’t worry. She didn’t get the job.”

She walks off, leaving me red-faced. Even though I think she believed me, I feel awkward every time I see her after that. That’s the last time I offer to help any of my acquaintances get a job here!