It’s the beginning of the health crisis in 2020. The employees are wearing masks and there are signs posted everywhere to please pay by card instead of cash. In this pharmacy, there is only one line, but there are multiple employees, so usually, you don’t have to worry about a line, but today it’s packed.

My customer is a sweet old lady. Everything about her medication is fine, so we proceed to paying. Her total is something like 17.56€. The lovely old lady starts digging in her purse, of course paying cash, like always. She looks at every single coin, puts it back, takes out another one, and so on. After a few long minutes, she finally manages to find 17.55€ and has the last missing cent in her hand.

This is the moment she looks up from her purse, sees the sign, and says, “Oh, you like it better if I pay by card, don’t you?” Before I can tell her that it’s fine, she puts all the money back in her purse and begins searching for her card. I hand her the card reader and the real struggle begins. In the fourth attempt, she inserts the card the right way round, yay! Who guessed: she doesn’t know her PIN!

Eventually, after about ten minutes, she pays with a 20€ note. I am so glad I am wearing a mask today.

I’m visiting my cousin and his wife for the first time since they moved out of state. I stop by a small sandwich shop on the way to my cousin’s house to get lunch.

Cashier: “Okay, that’ll be $11 plus tax.”

Me: “And how much is that altogether?”

Cashier: “It’s $11 plus tax.”

Me: “I know, but how much is it altogether?”

Cashier: “$11 plus tax.”

Me: “I know there’s tax, but how much? I’m from Minnesota, and I’m not familiar with the tax rate in Pennsylvania.”

Cashier: “It’s $11… Plus. Tax.”

Me: “How much with tax included?”

Cashier: “Eleven. Dollars. Plus! Tax!”

Me: “How much tax?”

Cashier: “What part about ‘$11 plus tax’ don’t you understand? Stop wasting my time and get the f*** out!”

Just then, the owner comes to the counter from the kitchen.

Owner: “Again? Really? Go to the office. Wait for me there.” *To me* “I’m sorry about that, hon. Your total is $11.66.”

She also gave me a free cookie as an apology for the cashier’s behavior. I stopped at that sandwich shop again for another sandwich on the way back to the airport. The cashier wasn’t there.

Related:
Taxing Taxing, Part 6
Taxing Taxing, Part 5
Taxing Taxing, Part 4
Taxing Taxing, Part 3
Taxing Taxing, Part 2

As a teen, I had a great job at a cinema that gave me great customer service training and experience.

However, when working in the candy bar, it was mandatory that we upsell — “Would you like to make that a large Coke for an extra fifty cents?” — and suggestive sell — “Would you like some popcorn to go with your drink?” — to every. Single. Customer.

Here are a few situations in which I did not upsell or suggestive sell and got in trouble for it.

A group visited consisted of several people with significant intellectual disabilities and their carers. I watched each person discuss with the carers what they wanted and what they could afford before coming to my register. Even verbalizing the order was a challenge to some of them. I started to suggestive sell to the first customer, realised it was not appropriate to continue with the rest of the group, served the rest accordingly, and then had my supervisor pull me aside to have a “chat.” Her argument was, “Yeah, but you still have to.”

A group of young kids from a vacation care centre came to visit and had, obviously, been advised beforehand to bring $5.70 for the small drink and popcorn combo we had going at that time. Many of them had the exact change in an envelope or sticky-taped to their wallet. I started doing the up/suggestive selling with them before realising what was going on and that my asking them was confusing them and making the line move three times slower and stopped. Once again, I pulled over by the supervisor.

A family of four visited and were the most, um, horizontally gifted family I have ever seen. And they bought one of everything, each, including each a full bag of lollies from the pick n’ mix, which equates to well over 1 kg of lollies. Now, obviously, their body, their choice, not remotely my business, but I couldn’t upsell as they already had large sizes of everything, and I couldn’t think of anything to suggestive sell without it sounding really weird. “Would you like a bag of honey-baked ham chips to go with your salt and vinegar flavour?” So, I processed the sale and sent them off to their movie.

That day, I was secretly being assessed for my monthly review. I failed with that family, hence failing the whole thing, and I got an informal warning. I didn’t even bother arguing.

This happens in the late 1980s when the price of a stamp is about 25 cents. I am a customer behind the rude customer.

Rude Customer: “I’d like one stamp, please.”

Postman: “Certainly, that will be 25 cents.”

The rude customer puts a $100 bill on the counter.

Postman: “Do you have anything smaller?”

Rude Customer: “This is legal tender; you have to take it.”

Postman: “Yes, sir!”

The postman goes in the back, and then comes out and puts ninety-nine Susan B. Anthony dollar coins on the counter.

Rude Customer: “I don’t want all of these!”

Postman: “You have to take them; they’re legal tender.”

The rude customer then had to shove all the coins in his pockets, and he left with his pants falling down.

This story is part of our Best Of September 2020 roundup!

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My father owns a check-cashing business in the 1970s, and my wife and I both help out at times. One afternoon, my wife is working the only open window. A woman comes to the window.

Woman: “You’re not going to cash my check, you b****!”

Normally, cursing at the employees will get you sent away. [Wife] is somewhat taken aback but decides to see what she can do. She answers the woman back in the same tone.

Wife: “How do you know I’m not going to cash your check? Give me that check!”

The woman hands her the check.

Wife: “Now give me your ID.”

The woman hands over her ID.

Wife: “I’m going to show you what I think of you! I’m going to cash your check! Sign here on the back!”

The woman picks up the check, signs, and hands it back again.

At this point, my father, who has been sitting in the back of the shop adding up yesterday’s accounts, notices the volume and comes up.

Father: “Is anything wrong?”

Wife: “No, nothing’s wrong.”

The customer agrees. [Wife] counts out the correct amount of money.

Wife: “There! See, I told you I could cash your check!”

The woman looks relieved.

Woman: “Thank you, I’ve had a really bad day and I guess I was just in a horrible mood when I came in. I feel so much better now.”

She smiled and went away. Another satisfied customer.