When Your Number Is Up

, , , | Right | May 19, 2010

Customer: “Hi, I’m here for the immunization clinic.”

Me: “Sir, this is a bingo hall.”

Customer: “You’re mistaken. The people at the hospital told me to come here.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, this is a bingo hall. I don’t know why they would tell you to come here.”

Customer: “What are those people doing here then?” *points at the people playing bingo*

Me: “They’re playing bingo, sir.”

Customer: “You’re lying to me! You just want me to die!”

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Some Customers You Just Have To Let Slide

, , , , , , | Right | May 14, 2010

Me: “Good afternoon, this is [Cellphone Store]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I came into your store today and you sold me a defective phone!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. What is your full name and phone number so I can pull up your account?”

Customer: *gives information*

Me: “Okay, thanks. I see you bought a [phone]. What seems to be the problem?

Customer: “The keyboard on this piece of s*** won’t come out!”

Me: “Have you tried sliding it the other way?”

*really long pause*

Customer: “Well thanks a lot, b****! Now you made me feel like a f****** idiot!” *click*


This story is part of the American States roundup!

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The Twelve (Billion) Days Of Christmas

, , , | Right | May 6, 2010

(This takes place on Christmas Eve.)

Customer: “What’s this about you guys closing tomorrow?”

Me: “Yes, we are closed for Christmas day so we can have time with our families.”

Customer: “But if you’re closed, then what am I supposed to feed my family with!? You guys are supposed to be open all the time!”

Me: “But what about our families? Can’t we spend time with them?”

Customer: “No, because you’re supposed to be here working and serving us food!”


This story is part of the Christmas Eve roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

18 Chill-Inducing Stories About Freezing Weather And Those Who Can’t Handle It (And A Few Who Can)

 

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Of Breath Smoke And Breast Strokes

, , , , , | Right | April 28, 2010

(A customer with children in tow tries to book a smoking room, but we are sold out.)

Customer’s Kids: “We want to go swimming!”

Customer: “They don’t have any smoking rooms, and I gotta smoke. We have to go somewhere else.”

Customer’s Kids: “Can’t you just go outside and smoke?”

Customer: “It’s snowing outside! Oh, you’d like it if I had to go out in the cold and snow just so you could go swimming, wouldn’t you?”

Me: “I can call the motel next door for you and see if they have any smoking rooms available.”

Customer’s Kids: “But they have an indoor pool here! We want to go in the pool!”

Customer: “That’s all you do, isn’t it? All you do is think about yourself! I gotta smoke!”


This story is part of our Terrible Parents roundup!

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(Role) Playing The Fool

, , , , | Right | April 22, 2010

(A customer asks me to tell him about the store and what we sell. I point out the board games, miniatures and card games, but he doesn’t perk up until I mention a well-known table-top fantasy RPG.)

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “It’s a role-playing game. You get some people together, make characters, and play out what they do on adventures.”

Customer: “Is there a game going on right now?”

Me: “Well, no. You need to get people together and organize.”

Customer: “I’m only in town for three days.”

Me: “Yeah, it’s really a sit-down game. It takes a long time to play.”

Customer: “Where do I go?”

Me: “It’s a game you play with friends.”

Customer: “I mean for a dungeon. You know, role-play?”

Me: “I don’t…” *light bulb goes off* “Oh! This has nothing to do with that.”

Customer: “Do you know where I could go to find it?”

Me: “No! I don’t know anything about that!”

Customer: “But I’m only in town for three days!”

Me: “I can’t help you. Excuse me.”

(The customer wanders around a little longer, then asks about a poster we have for a live-action game with a picture of an immodestly-dressed woman on it.)

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “That’s an ad for a live-action role-playing game. People get dressed up in costumes and play.”

Customer: *very excited* “Can I meet her?”

Me: “What? No.”

Customer: “But I’m only in town for three days!”

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