Two Movies About A Time Warp

, , , , , , , | | Friendly | August 25, 2019

It was Halloween and the local theatre was playing The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

My best friend and I dressed up. He went as Rocky and I decided to dress as Frank N Furter. We went all out.

When we arrived at the cinema, the usher told us that there was a half-hour wait before the screen would open to allow us inside. The film did not start for forty-five minutes.

My friend and I waited in the coffee shop past the ticket check with all of the other Rocky Horror fans, when I noticed that some people were going into the screen we had been directed to. I made a comment and my friend dragged us after the people so we could choose some good seats before they were taken.

We pushed open the doors — my friend in his golden hot pants and body glitter, me as a sweet transvestite — to a completely full theatre, waiting for the tail end of the season’s most popular action movie.

Rather than turn tail and run, my friend suddenly clapped and remarked that he hadn’t seen the film. He pulled me into a seat and I slowly sank deeper and deeper as we watched the last ten minutes of Looper.

So many people turned around in their seats to catch a glimpse of us in costume, and whispered to one another, that no one could hear the dialogue for the end of the film.

When the film ended, we stayed in our seats and watched Rocky Horror without an issue. When we got chatting to one of the ushers as we were leaving, they remarked that they had seen us slip into the theatre, but thought that the reactions we would get were too funny to bother stopping us.

You’re Welcome To Help Out

, , , | | Right | August 14, 2019

(The cinema is showing a sing-a-long version of [Film #1], and since I’ve booked a couple of days off due to travelling out of town for a tour the day before, my friends and I have bought tickets with the intent of making a night of it. I’m the first one there, so I wait near the door for my friends to arrive. I usually work at this cinema and there are a few regular customers who will bother me out of uniform but most of the time the customers leave me be… except for tonight.)

Customer #1: “Excuse me, what time is [Film #2] showing?”

Me: “Sorry, don’t know.”

Customer #1: *gives me a strange look and walks off*

(Five minutes later.)

Customer #2: “Excuse me; do you work here?”

Me: “Um, not tonight.”

Customer #2: “Well, can you help me, anyway? I need to know what time [Film #3] finishes.”

Me: “Sorry, I don’t know that. I’m just waiting for someone, but someone over at the counter can help you.”

Customer #2: *storms off* “How rude.”

(Two minutes later:)

Customer #3: “Excuse me. Do you work here?”

(I’m sick of this by now so I figure it’s easier to just lie.)

Me: “No.”

Customer #3: *stares at me for a minute before leaving*

(Soon my friends arrive and I relay what’s happened.)

Friend: “Well… you do realise what you’re wearing, don’t you?”

(I was wearing a jacket I bought at the tour the day before, almost the exact same red as the cinema’s uniform, and across the back in large, glittery letters are the words, “You’re Welcome.” No wonder people thought I could help them!)

Unfiltered Story #160094

, , , | | Unfiltered | August 12, 2019

I work at a high class movie theater and it’s a slow day, when suddenly an Indian woman comes up to me scared, hyperventilating, and demanding to see a manager.

Woman: I need to see a manager now!

Me: Why, what’s wrong?

Woman: I was sitting in my theater when a man in a uniform came up to me and asked what movie I was seeing, down at he know what I’m watching, I think he wanted to hurt me, I want this man fired for his behavior.

Me: Ok, let me call my manager.

I call my manager and he talks with her, she describes the mans appearance as a tall thin black man with long black hair, and the manager calls the General Manager of the store because the woman was becoming more aggressive in how she wanted the employee punished and fired.

Once the General Manager was called down he called for every employee in the entire building to come down to the lobby and do a police lineup to find this “dangerous man”.

After over an hour of questioning we finally figured out who the culprit was, her. She was constantly changing her story on what the man looked like, who did it, and by the end of it he became a short white guy with shirt blond hair.

When the staff left I offered her an apology.

Me: I’m sorry that you had go go through with that, we will find this man. Would you like something before you go?

Her: No, I know you had something to do with this, your all going against me, well I’m not falling for it, I’m leaving and never coming back.

Me: What just happened?

The Only One Making A Show Out Of It Is You

, , | | Right | August 5, 2019

(I work at a movie theater. I’ve just gotten a woman in her 40s — my first customer of the day — her tickets.)

Me: *friendly* “Here you go! Hey, have a great day!”

(Her face turns sour.)

Customer: *incredibly condescending* “Actually, it’s, ‘enjoy the show,’ dumba**!”

(She stomped away and turned to glare at me with a ridiculous fury, like I’d just shot her dog right in front of her or something. H*** of a way to start your shift.)

Oh, I Am Spoiled, Undone By Supervillains!

, , , , | | Friendly | August 3, 2019

I’m working the hot food section at the local movie theatre when I see one of my classmates from English class. We have been reading Othello and start discussing a character that was murdered. This is around the same time as opening weekend for Captain America: Civil War.

A woman, who has been putting ketchup on her hotdog at the condiment stand, turns around and asks, “Are you spoiling the movie?”

We both look over, confused. “Excuse me?” I ask her.

“Are you spoiling Avengers?” 

“No.”

“Then why are you telling him who dies?!”

“Ma’am, we’re talking about Shakespeare…”

“Oh.”

She huffs away.