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Twenty Dollar Vision

, , , , , | Right | May 21, 2022

A very friendly woman has just paid for her $18 concession order with a crisp, brand-new $20 bill. About ten minutes later, she storms up to me, absolutely furious.

Customer: “Give me my $20 right now!”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “I’m missing a $20 bill from my wallet! I must have given it to you! Give me $20 out of your register RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “I apologize if I didn’t give you the proper change back. Unfortunately, I can’t just give you $20 out of my register and risk being short $20 at the end of the night. But if you’d like, I can have a manager come out and check the sales on my register and the cash in my drawer. If you did accidentally give me an extra $20 bill, it should show up as a discrepancy and I’ll be able to return it to you immediately. It’s been a very slow day, so it shouldn’t take more than five minutes for them to check. If you want to give me your seat number, I can even come find you and let you know if we have your $20, and return it if that’s the case.”

Customer: “That’s not good enough! I want $20 right this instant!”

Me: “Again, ma’am, I cannot just simply give you $20 from my register and risk being short $20 at the end of the night just because you asked me to. But I can have a manager come out, check the register, and resolve the situation.”

Customer: *Bellowing* “I WANT MY $20!”

The screaming alerts my managers, who come out and try to address the woman.

Customer: *Pointing to me* “I want that f****** thief fired! He stole $20 from me! He probably pocketed it!”

Figuring it might defuse the situation, I pull out my pockets and then open my wallet in front of the woman at her insistence. Thank God I only have about $5 in singles in there. Regardless, she continues to scream that I’m a thief until the managers threaten to have her kicked out for causing a scene. We finally calm down the woman, and my manager counts my drawer as I suggested in the first place.

Manager: “Ma’am, there is an extra $20 on record in this register…”

Customer: “I knew it!”

Manager: “But I think we’ve found the problem. Did you just go to the bank?”

Customer: “Um… yes?”

Manager: “Did they give you new $20 bills?”

Customer: “Yes?”

My manager holds up what looks like a single, crisp, brand-new $20 bill. He then rubs his fingers against it, and the bill splits into two $20s.

Manager: “Yeah, right here. There are two brand-new $20s. They looked like one because they were perfectly stuck together. You probably grabbed it thinking it was one $20, and my cashier didn’t notice it, either. Here’s your $20.”

He hands the extra $20 to the customer.

Customer: “Um… thanks. That makes sense, I guess.”

She immediately turns and looks at me with a sour face.

Customer: “I still think you were trying to steal it, you little thief! You should be fired and arrested!”

She finally turned and walked toward her theater.

Most People Try To Get The Theater Experience At Home, Not Vice-Versa

, , , | Right | May 20, 2022

I was at the movies not long ago. The person sitting next to me took off their shoes. Then, they pulled a pillow and blanket out of their bag. I thought that was it, but then, they pulled a chicken dinner out of that same bag.

At that point, stay home! You obviously would rather be in your living room!

This Scam Has Gone Stale

, , , , | Right | May 19, 2022

A customer comes in who I’ve served a few times before. Every time he comes in, he orders a bag of popcorn, eats it, and then tries to claim it was “stale” to get a refund.  

I’ve literally just finished making a fresh batch of popcorn when he comes in and orders a medium popcorn. I give him the fresh popcorn that, again, I’ve literally JUST made. About ten minutes later, he comes back, having already eaten about half the bag. Throughout the whole conversation, he continues to munch on the popcorn.

Customer: “This popcorn is stale. I want a refund.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I just made that about ten minutes ago. There’s no way it’s stale.”

Customer: “It’s stale.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that’s not possible.”

Customer: “But it’s stale. I want my money back.”

Me: “No. I literally just made it right before you ordered it. It’s literally impossible for it to be stale. It’s literally as fresh as it could possibly be. And in fact, your popcorn has never been stale when you’ve said it is. You’re not going to keep trying to scam us by claiming our popcorn is always ‘stale.'”

Customer: “But it’s stale.”

Annoyed by his constant scamming, I pick up a popcorn tub, scoop some in, and standing in front of him, begin to eat it.

Me: “No, it’s not. It’s actually quite delicious.”

He rolled his eyes and walked away. I alerted my manager that he had tried to get a refund again by claiming his popcorn was stale. When he came out of his movie, she gave him a stern talking-to about not trying that again, or else we’d start to refuse service to him.

Get Her To Her Best Friend’s Wedding On Time

, , , , | Right | May 16, 2022

It is the nineties. I work at a movie theater with sixteen screens. An elderly woman approaches me.

Woman: “What time is the movie?”

Me: “That depends. Which movie are you looking for?”

Woman: “You know, the movie! The movie!”

Me: “Um…”

Woman: “The movie with Judy.”

I don’t remember the rest of our conversation, but eventually, I figured out that the movie she was referring to was “My Best Friend’s Wedding.” “Judy” was Julia Roberts.

Heaven Forbid We Try To Save You Some Money

, , | Right | May 15, 2022

I work in a movie theater. A woman approaches the concessions stand.

Woman: “I want the combo with a medium popcorn and a large drink.”

Me: “You can get a medium popcorn with a large drink, but I have to charge you separately, which comes out to more than a large combo. You don’t have to eat all the popcorn.”

She argues with me and asks for a manager. My manager ends up selling her a large combo and underfilling the popcorn to appease her.

Woman: *To me* “HOW EASY WAS THAT?!”

And she walked off.