Disabling Their Understanding

, , , | Right | February 18, 2021

I’m assisting a rather angry man who appears to be in his forties or fifties. He’s been overly gruff and persnickety the whole transaction and has gotten grouchy over minor things like picking out his seats and paying the price for his ticket, even though it’s the early morning matinee and the tickets are only $5.

Finally, we’re about to finish the transaction when he asks a question.

Customer: “I saw there were some seats on the screen that had little wheelchairs on them. Why’s that?”

Me: “Oh, those are spaces reserved for guests in wheelchairs. There’s no actual seat. It’s just a safe spot where they can park so they can enjoy the movie without having to try and get into one of our chairs.”

He immediately glares at me.

Customer: “So what are you saying? Are you saying that you’ll refuse me a seat if I’m disabled unless I have a wheelchair?!”

Me: *Completely confused* “Uh… no? That’s literally not what I said at all.”

Customer: *Shouting* “I have an invisible disability, a**hole! How dare you discriminate against me?!”

The customer leans in, seething with rage and growling under his breath.

Customer: “I’ll remember this. I’ll remember you, a**hole.”

He stomps away. The next customer in line, who saw this whole transaction, steps forward.

Customer #2: *Baffled* “What the h*** just happened?”

Me: “I don’t know. And I don’t know if I even want to know.”

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Someone Needs To Learn To Look Things Up Online

, , , , | Right | February 17, 2021

It’s a weekday during autumn, and the theater doesn’t open until noon because it’s just too slow to open any earlier, and we lose money like crazy. We’re talking at most six or seven people a day before 5:00 pm. I arrive early at 11:00 am to do some paperwork and then open the theater.

As soon as I arrive, I see a frustrated woman trying every door. This is despite the fact that there’s a clear sign on the front door saying when we open. I approach a side door and wait for a manager to let me in when she literally stomps over.

Customer: “Do you work here?!”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Your sign says you open at noon! Why can’t I come in now?!”

Me: “Um… because we don’t open until noon?”

Customer: “Ugh! Well, you’d better open at noon on the dot! I have important business at this theater, and it’s just ridiculous that you’re not open!”

The woman walks away and gets into her car, slamming the door behind her. She sits there, literally glaring at me as I’m let in. I get my paperwork done, and at around 11:30, I begin to prepare the box office and concession stand to open for the day. Suddenly, I get a call at the box office.

Me: *Answering the phone* “Hello, you’ve reached [Theater]. How may I help you?”

It’s the woman from before.

Customer: “I want to come in. Now!”

Me: “I apologize, but we don’t open for about another half-hour.”

Customer: “Hmph! I have very important business at the theater!”

She hangs up and I continue to try and open. I see a coworker approaching the side door. Before I can go over to let them in, the woman gets out of her car, storms up to them, and begins to scream at them. My coworker looks completely shocked. The woman then turns and storms back to her car again. I let my coworker in. As I continue to work, the phone rings again.

Me: “Hello, you’ve reached [Theater]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I’m still waiting! I want you to know that you’re completely ruining my day! I have very important business at the theater, and you’re disrupting my entire week not letting me in, you brat!”

She hangs up before I can even respond. As I continue to work, she calls the theater no less than a dozen times. After being screamed at over the phone a third time, I stop answering. I can see her outside of the window becoming more and more furious in her car with each call.

Finally, noon rolls around, and my manager, who I’ve made aware of the situation, goes to unlock the front doors. The woman is now standing right outside and literally shoves my manager to get inside the second he unlocks the door. She storms directly up to me.

Customer: “This is f****** insane! I have important business! I don’t care when you open! You should open when your customers want you to!”

I put on my best fake smile.

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Theater]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I need to know if you’ll have [Obscure Movie I’ve never even heard of] in two weeks!”

I’m about ready to burst out laughing:

Me: “Well, ma’am, unfortunately, our schedule is made week-to-week, so I won’t know until closer to the release date.”

The woman glares at me.

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: *Glances at my nametag* “No. But I will have you know that I will complain to your corporate office and have you fired for not opening earlier, [My Name]!”

Me: “Oh, okay. I hope you have a great day.”

She stormed away. My manager saw the whole situation and phoned up corporate to inform them that a woman had been harassing us while trying to open, had shoved him, and had threatened to have me fired. I wasn’t fired, and we subsequently placed a temporary ban on the customer and were allowed to refuse service if she came back in.

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You Got Any Of That Iron Man 6 In The Back?

, , , | Right | February 17, 2021

A woman comes up to me at the greeter stand and hands me a ticket. I check the ticket. It’s an advance ticket for a movie that isn’t out for another two weeks.

Me: “Um, I’m sorry, ma’am, but I think you handed me the wrong ticket.”

Customer: “Oh, I know it’s not for two weeks, but I just wanna see it now.”

Me: “Unfortunately, we don’t have the ability to play that particular movie at the moment.”

Customer: “How hard can it be to screen a movie early? Honestly?”

Me: *Chuckling* “Well, considering we don’t even have a print of it yet… very hard.”

The customer suddenly gets that wonderful “lightbulb going off” look on her face.

Customer: “You know… that makes sense. I thought you just had all the movies for the year in the back. Oh, well. Can I go and exchange this for a movie for today?”

Me: “Absolutely. They can do that for you right at the box office.”

Customer: *Beaming* “Thank you very much.”

As dumb as her rationale was, the fact she wasn’t combative or abusive kind of made her my favorite customer of the day.

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Some Four-Year-Olds Are So Clingy

, , , | Working | February 15, 2021

A new small “independent” cinema opens near us. We don’t visit the cinema often, but our young daughter wants to see the new “ice princess” film, so we decide to go. We arrive, buy two adult tickets and one child ticket for the film, and go to check into the screen. The usher rips our tickets.

Usher: “That’s G12, E15, and H21. Enjoy the film.”

Me: “Pardon? Aren’t we together?”

Usher: “No, you’ve got three separate seats. Were they supposed to be together?”

Me: *Pointing at our daughter* “She’s four. Yes, we need to be together. Why did they give us separate seats?”

Usher: “Just a moment…”

He calls for a manager and tells him what happened.

Manager: “I’m sorry, just step over here a moment.”

He takes us to the concessions stand and tells us to order some drinks and popcorn on him. Then, we see him go to the ticket cashier and have a furious whispered conversation. He comes back with new tickets, and the cashier is red-faced and glaring at us.

Manager: “I’m so sorry. Here are your new tickets; please enjoy the film.”

We had a lovely time, but I’m still not sure what the ticket cashier thought she was doing!

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Liquid Butter And Chemicals

, , , , | Right | February 15, 2021

One of our popcorn machines catches fire due to some wiring problems. We put it out pretty quickly with a fire extinguisher and bring it outside. I am tasked with cleaning out the popcorn and extinguisher before we store it somewhere.

A man comes up to me as I’m cleaning the popper and points at the popcorn in the trash which is covered in extinguisher chemicals.

Customer: “This popcorn any good?”

Me: *Laughs* “It’s in the trash, sir.”

Customer: “Mind if I take a handful?”

Me: *Laughs again* “Very fun—”

Before I even finish my sentence he grabs a big handful from the trash can and walks away.

Me: “Sir, that has chemicals on it!”

He keeps walking.

Me: “Sir, it’s not safe to eat!”

He still continued. I immediately called my manager on the walkie to tell him what. The manager and security met him in the parking lot and asked if he’d eaten the popcorn. He refused to say he did, probably for fear of getting in trouble, but his mouth was covered in it. I hope the treat was worth it.

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