Where Do You Think YOU Came From?

, , , , , | Right | March 18, 2019

(I work in a movie theater. My colleague is a short woman who is in her last trimester of her first pregnancy. Due to this combination, she cannot reach the row of ice cream tubs further away from her without crushing her baby. She is serving an elderly woman who asks for ice cream that she cannot reach.)

Colleague: “I’m sorry, I cannot reach that one because I’m pregnant.” *to me* “[My Name], could you finish this lady’s ice cream for me?”

Me: “No problem.”

(I take over and my colleague takes the payment. Not long after, the customer comes to me.)

Customer: “I just wanted to say that your colleague did not need to tell me she was pregnant. That’s disgusting!”

(I was too stunned to answer, but she seemed content with having said her piece and walked off.)

Bridget Jones Having A Baby Doesn’t Mean You Can Bring Yours

, , , , | Right | March 10, 2019

(The movie “Bridget Jones’ Baby” has just come out. It’s an adult movie full of crude jokes and innuendos, swearing, and several sex scenes; it’s rated R. Anyone under 17 must be accompanied by an adult into an R-rated movie, and children under six aren’t allowed at all. I am an usher, and I’m coming back from a theater check when my manager informs me that a couple is taking their child into the Bridget Jones movie. I walk in after them. The movie has yet to start, as they are very early, and the lights aren’t even down yet. The couple is standing there, getting settled, with their infant in a stroller. I approach the mother that’s standing with the child.)

Me: “I’m sorry, miss. You can’t have your child in here. This is an R-rated movie, and children under six are not allowed.”

Husband: *jokingly… I think* “Well, then he’s six now, isn’t he?”

Wife: “But he’s just a baby.”

Me: “Yes, but he’s under six, and we can’t allow children under six in an R-rated movie.”

Wife: “But we should be allowed to dictate what he can watch, anyway; we’re his parents.”

Me: “Yes, but this movie is still inappropriate for young children, and our policy does not allow children under six from being in this showing.”

Husband: “He’s just a baby. He won’t even understand what’s going on.”

Me: “Maybe so, sir. But he is still under six, and still not allowed in an R-rated movie like this.”

Wife: “But we already bought our tickets and food and everything. Besides, he’s just going to nap through it. He’s just a baby.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. But he’s still under six. If you’d like, our manager can switch your tickets for another movie so you can take your child. But you can’t watch this movie with him.”

Husband: “But we couldn’t get a babysitter for our date, so we just took him. He’s just a baby.”

Me: “My apologies. If you would just come with me out of the theater, we can get you a ticket for another movie, instead, since we cannot have children under six in this theater.”

(Eventually, I got them to leave the theater, still muttering. They immediately went to my manager and b**** about me, about our rules, and about the fact they apparently couldn’t bear to reschedule their movie date to take care of their baby. They were given comp tickets for a later date, since they REALLY didn’t want to change movies, and left, still wondering why they couldn’t have an infant in a rated-R movie.)

A Time Warp To A Less Tolerant Time

, , , | Right | February 28, 2019

(We are having a midnight showing of “The Rocky Horror Picture Show.” As you would expect, we get quite a lot of lovely characters turning up. Another movie has just ended and people are leaving. One woman runs up to me screaming.)


Me: “Sorry, madam, but could you please control your language? There is a showing of Rocky Horror, and some fans are quite committed.”

Woman: “It’s disgusting. You should be ashamed, letting so many homos into such a respectable establishment. I watched Passion of the Christ here just last week! REPENT!”

(She then ran out of the theater, screaming Bible verses to confused onlookers.)

Unfiltered Story #142129

, , , | Unfiltered | February 28, 2019

Me: Here’s your popcorn, enjoy the show.
Customer: Thank you. 
*Customer just stands there*
Customer: *screams* you’re supposed to say you’re welcome!!!!” 
Me: Oh, you’re welcome. 
*Runs to my manager and tells him how terrible my service was* 
My manager just laughed.

An Inside Look Into The Gay Agenda And… Ooh! Popcorn!

, , , , | Right | February 27, 2019

(I work in a movie theatre. A customer approaches the kiosk.)

Me: “Hello. Can I get you anything?”

Customer: “A large popcorn, please.” *as I’m filling a box* “It’s very pretty in here. Is it always like this?”

Me: “Oh, no. Two of our managers just got engaged to each other, and seeing as it’s Pride Month, we decided to celebrate a little.”

Customer: “Oh!” *looks around* “So, this is what it’s like to be inside the Gay Agenda. It’s very colourful.”

(He then left the kiosk and walked into his screening, while I stood there shouting, asking if she still wanted his popcorn.)

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