We’re Not Half Surprised

, , , , | Right | June 19, 2018

(We have a table marked 50% off different Items. A woman approaches me.)

Customer: “Excuse me. This is regularly $7.00; how much is it on sale for?”

Me: “Its 50% off; everything on this table is discounted half-off.”

Customer: “So, this is $14.00; how much is this half-off?”

Me: “That would be $7.00.”

Customer: “And what if it’s $10?”

Me: *pause* “Five.”

Customer: “This one is $4, so how much is that?”

Me: *longer pause* “Two.”

It’s Not Therapeutic To Be This Stressed

, , , , , | Working | June 19, 2018

I’m working a normal day at the massage studio when something I’ve never experienced happens.

A client is booked for a session at a certain time with a therapist — let’s call the client Mary — and I greet and check them in, and they wait for their session. As they wait, we even buy a gift card for their friend with her card on file and make another appointment for her. Eventually the therapist comes to get her to take her into session, and everything seems fine.

A minute later, Mary comes in, apologizing for being late for her session. I stare at her with a face of a deer in headlights and ask her to repeat her name. Then, panic sets in. Who’s on the therapist’s table?

I run back to find the therapist before they go in, stating Mary is here for her session, and we now have no idea who is in his room. He has to end up going in there basically saying, “Who are you?” since we’ve greeted her under the assumption that her name is Mary [Last Name], for her session.

Turns out, her name is Kari. Very similar in names! Her session is for the same time, with the same therapist but for tomorrow. Scrambling still continues as I realize I bought a gift card for Kari with Mary’s money!

Thankfully, we are able to get the real Mary scheduled for a new session, her card refunded, and each party happy, but after working at this studio for almost two years, and the therapist for over five years, we’ve never had anything like this happen before!

Unfiltered Story #115151

, , | Unfiltered | June 18, 2018

(In this case, I had been working inventory when the phone rang.)

Me: *answers before my boss gets there* Hello?

Caller: *in an obviously fake deep voice* Yes, hello. Is Hugh Jass there by chance?

(At this point, my boss walks over, therefore, I am required to put it on speaker.)

Me: *sighs* Excuse me, [coworker], could you look up a worker. Jass, Hugh?

Coworker: Sure thing [my nickname].

Caller: …. *fake voice* Also, I’d like to get some guns for my sons… Yes.

Me: Sir, I’d really like you to state your name.

Caller: *in a 12-year-old sounding voice* My name is Su-k Mike Hawk!

Me: *looks over at Caller ID* Actually, Caller ID tells me that is the [last name of respected Navy SEAL] residence. Is that correct?

Caller 2: *15-16 year old sounding voice* DUDE! I knew it wasn’t [Name]’s number! HANG UP!!!

Caller: *whimpers slightly*

(At that point, the caller’s hung up and the residence’s main Navy SEAL was called. Turns out, that wasn’t the first failed prank call they made that day!)

Unfiltered Story #115145

, | Unfiltered | June 18, 2018

Caller: What time do yall close?

Me: 11:30

Caller: What’s the latest you can stay?

Me: Generally 11:30, but if you think you’ll be here within 5 or 10 minutes of that I can probably help you out.

Caller: Well, I want to make a payment for my daughter but I get off at 2.

Me: Well I definitely can’t work 3 hours late for that, but we have a night drop, or I’d be glad to take your payment by phone right now for free.

Caller: No, I need a receipt.

Me: I’d be glad to mail or email a receipt

Caller: Yall need to stay open late for people who have to work. *click*

Not Giving You A-Ten-tion

, , , , , | Learning | June 16, 2018

(It’s my senior year, the day after an awards ceremony for students in the top 10% academically for their year. I was invited to the ceremony, but given a different award even though I am in the top 10% of students. It’s not something I particularly care about, but I am curious as to how I didn’t qualify, so during lunch I stop by the registrar.)

Me: “Hi, I have a quick question about the board of trustees awards yesterday.”

Registrar: “Yes, what about it?”

Me: “So, I am in the top ten for the class of 2015, but I didn’t receive the award. I don’t really care all that much that I didn’t get it, but I guess I just wanted to know why I didn’t qualify?”

Registrar: “The trustee award is only for students in the top 10% for the year, not overall.”

Me: “Yeah, I get that, but here’s the thing: I’ve only gotten the award once before, and I just qualified for the top 10% overall this year. So. I don’t understand how I could be graduating top ten, but not be in the top 10% for this specific year.”

(The registrar starts getting irritated.)

Registrar: “Look, they just give me a list of names. It’s too late to change anything. You didn’t get the award.”

Me: “I know, and like I said, I’m really fine with that. But from a math standpoint, can’t you agree it doesn’t really make sense?”

Registrar: “I just have a list.”

Me: “But—”

Registrar: “I just have a list! You weren’t in the top ten, so you didn’t get the award. I have other students to talk to, so go back to class.”

(There were no other students waiting, but I decided to let this one go.)

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