Addressing The Lack Of Addressing, Part 3

, , , , | Right | May 4, 2021

I work from home answering emails for a variety of companies. I work for the parent company and we own forty-six other companies; all the emails go into one inbox. Half of our companies ship out our horticulture products (plants and plant goods) while the other half ship out our gift products (puzzles, household items, furniture, etc.).

Once the package leaves our facility, we cannot control what happens, regardless of the shipping company used.

On the 28th of the month:

Customer: “This is outrageous! You had to reship my order on the eighth because [Shipping Company] lost it and I still don’t have it!”

Me: “I apologize for the inconvenience, ma’am. After looking at your account, it appears the package was returned to us and marked undeliverable, and we have credited back the card on file.”

Customer: “Are you serious?! First, it took me three tries to type my credit card in on the website because I couldn’t figure out the expiration date! Then, [Shipping Company] lost my order! And now, when I’m waiting to get it again, it says the address is undeliverable! That has to be something in your system because the address was correct!

Me: “I have looked at the ship-to address on the account. The address we have is [address], Jacksonville, Florida. Is this the correct address?”

Customer: “No! It should be shipping to Jackson, Mississippi, not Florida! Why can you people never do anything right?! I demand whoever put this order in be yelled at for not knowing!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry for the confusion, but it appears this order was placed on our website, not via one of our agents. I understand that our website can be confusing sometimes. I do apologize for the trouble you’ve had with this order. Would you like me to help you place a new order for the correct address?”

Customer: “Ha! As if I’m ever ordering from your company again! You mess up addresses and [Shipping Company] can’t do anything right! I think you should give me all of the products I was trying to order for free to make this right.”

Me: “Ma’am, unfortunately, we cannot ship out free items when the situation is not our fault. We have fully refunded your card and, unfortunately, the only thing lost in this order has been time. I can offer you a $25 gift certificate for a future order, but that is the best we can do.”

Customer: “I’m going to the BBB about this! I hope you enjoy your scathing review about not making things right!”

I really don’t know what she wanted from us. We already gave her back her money, she messed up on the address, and we can’t make [Shipping Company] deliver to somewhere we don’t even know. You just can’t please some people.

Related:
Addressing The Lack Of Addressing, Part 2
Addressing The Lack Of Addressing

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We Know Our Enablers Very Well

, , , , | Romantic | April 26, 2021

I’m relaxing on the couch with my boyfriend. We both are almost at the stage of sleep when I suddenly bolt straight up and head to the front door. When I get back to the living room, my boyfriend is sitting up, looking very confused.

Boyfriend: “What on earth?”

Me: “I heard the [Online Retailer] delivery guy’s keys.”

Boyfriend: *Pauses* “Baby, you live on the third floor. There are like thirty people who come up and down your steps each day.”

Me: “Yeah.”

Boyfriend: “And out of all that, you recognized the keys to your delivery guy?”

Me: “Of course!”

Boyfriend: “Do I even want to know how you know this?”

Me: “Do you want me happy?”

Boyfriend: “Yes…”

Me: “Do you want to fight?”

Boyfriend: “No.”

Me: “Then it’s best that you don’t know how I know this.”

Boyfriend: “All right, whatever. Could you come back to the couch now?”

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What A Bunny Misunderstanding

, , , , , | Healthy | April 23, 2021

This happened when I was in high school in the 1970s. We had just finished our production of “Harvey” and had gone to the local twenty-four-hour chain restaurant. We were all still in costume and, as I played the sanitarium assistant, I was wearing what appeared to be medical-type clothing. As I walked into the restaurant, a little behind my fellow cast members, a guy came up to me.

Guy: “Is everyone in the accident all right?”

I had no clue why he asked me that, so I just looked at him and said:

Me: “I don’t know.”

And I went to join everybody.

As I sat down, I noticed that there were cops and an ambulance a few blocks down the street. That’s when it hit me: he thought I was a real ambulance attendant! 

I can only imagine what he thought, a first responder going into a restaurant when there were injured people to deal with. My other thought was, “I’m sixteen; do I look like an adult to you?”

My fellow cast members thought it was funny.

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There’s Nothing They’d Like More Than Distance From You!

, , , , , | Right | April 20, 2021

I work at a fast food restaurant. My coworker is taking orders outside. She approaches a car to take his order. Note that masks and social distancing are required at our restaurant and are followed appropriately.

Coworker: “What can I get for you today, sir?”

Customer: “I NEED YOU TO STEP BACK.”

My coworker steps back a little to give him some space.

Customer: “THAT’S NOT SIX FEET!”

She steps back as far as possible, apologizing to him.

Coworker: “I’m sorry sir, how can I help you?”

Customer: “YOU ARE STILL TOO CLOSE. You are DISRESPECTING all the DEAD PEOPLE! Stay away!”

My coworker starts to tear up after being yelled at, and having no other options, she completes his order and he drives to the window. At the window, the customer yells at the employee there.

Customer: “Where is my receipt? I NEED my receipt!”

The employee at the window tries to hand him the receipt when the customer suddenly shouts to STAY BACK. The employee can’t physically hand him the receipt without leaning forward. She decides to put his receipt in the bag and hands him his food on a tray.

Customer: “I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MANAGER!”

One of my managers, who is really tough and doesn’t take people’s crap, comes to the window. She’s already heard what’s going on.

Manager: “Sir, I need you to calm down. We are following the proper protocols and are staying six feet apart. We wear masks and sanitize properly.”

Customer: “WELL, YOUR EMPLOYEE HATES DEAD PEOPLE! People are DYING because she gets too close! I don’t even want to come back here!”

Manager: “Okay, sir, I need you to leave the drive-thru. You are upsetting my employees.”

He continues to yell about being a “paying customer” and how he deserves “special treatment.”

Manager: “If you don’t leave now, I will take your food back and refund your money! I need you to leave!”

Customer: “DON’T DISRESPECT DEAD PEOPLE!”

He finally drives off. My manager checks on my employee that took his order. She is crying and terribly upset.

Manager: “You didn’t do anything wrong. You were being safe. Take ten minutes to calm down; you will be okay.”

Don’t be rude to fast food workers! We are doing our best to serve you during a crazy time.

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Another Day, Another Mouth-Breather

, , , , , | Right | April 16, 2021

I’m at the eye doctor waiting to be called when a guy comes in and loudly announces: 

Customer: “I guess I have to put on the face diaper.”

He puts on the mask but forgets to cover his nose.

Receptionist: “Please cover your nose.”

Customer: “I guess y’all don’t want me to be able to breathe. 666, a new world order is coming.”

He left without even letting them know what it was he needed.

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