Unfiltered Story #163297

, , | Unfiltered | September 18, 2019

(I’ve been training for a week at a hotel chain, learning the ins and outs of the computer, answering the phone, etc. This is only my second day not shadowing my trainer, so I am actually manning the phones and front desk. I’ve been here about thirty minutes when the phone rings.)

Me: “Guest services, [my name] speaking.”

Guest: “Yes I’m…where is my husband?”

(She sounds very sleepy, as if she just woke up.)

Me: “E-excuse me?”

Guest: “I can’t call my husband.”

Me: “Alright ma’am, what’s your room number and your husband’s name?”

(She gives me the information and I call out into the lobby, having no luck finding him. I assume that she is calling from her room and her husband has left the building, and given we don’t know his contact info we can’t really help.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it your husband isn’t in the breakfast room or lobby.”

Guest: “Oh…okay….” *click*

(She promptly hangs up. This conversation – nearly word-for-word, takes place three more times, with my trainer answering the last call and telling her exactly what I’ve been telling her. On the third call I suggest she try his cell phone, and on the fourth call my trainer takes the phone and suggests she call the police if she can’t find him. About thirty minutes after the last call we get another call.)

Me: “Guest services, [my name] speaking.”

Guest 2: “So yeah uh, my wife just told me you wouldn’t let her into our **** room.”

Me: “Sir, your wife called our front desk four times this morning asking very specifically where you were. If she had called to say she was locked out of your room, or that she needed a new key, we would have made her a new key so she could have gotten in. But we had no contact information for you, so we had no way of finding you.”

(The husband seemed to concede after a few more moments of speaking and we hung up the phone, case closed – or so I thought. About fifteen minutes later, however…)

Me: “[Hotel name], this is [my name], how can I help you?”

Guest 2: “Okay one more thing, if my wife EVER calls you and wants to be let into our room, you better ******’ let her in. God ****!”

Me: “Sir, your wife – ” *click*

(I explain to my trainer what happened and she called the room of the woman, whose parents were paying for her stay, and talked to her mother, explaining the situation and how her husband had cussed out their newest trainee. The wife, in return, apologized – it turns out she had been staying in a friend’s room but had neglected to give us that information, so we believed she simply wanted us to find her husband…as if our lack of information would magically make him appear out of thin air.)

Unfiltered Story #163285

, , , | Unfiltered | September 17, 2019

(I am working the drive-thru at (coffee shop) and this college-age guy walks up to the front register. There are no cars currently, so I go to take his order)
Me: Hello, what can I get for you?
Customer: How much are these? *puts pack of mints on counter*
Me: *scans mints* $2.15
Customer: So much would it be for four of them?
Me: *is a bit confused, but starts to scan the mints four times*
Customer: Because I need to buy a gift for Veronica Android the high witch of California and her sister the witch of North Carolina all hail Lucifer he will come back and they think I’m not going to send them a gift but they don’t know that I’m sending them one. They’ll be surprised. So I need a gift for the witches how much please?
Me: …….Um……
Customer: Are these naturally or artificially flavored?
Me: I don’t know
Customer: Are you refusing me customer service? Does anyone else hear this? This person is refusing to answer my question!
Me: No I’m not refusing, but if you look at the packaging it doesn’t say
*shift supervisor comes over*
Supervisor: Sir do you want to buy these?
*I slip away back to the drive thru to take an order and this customer proceeds to stay in the store another 2 hours and talk very loudly about crazy religious stuff and devil worship and witches and make everyone very uncomfortable*

Unfiltered Story #163291

, , , | Unfiltered | September 17, 2019

A couple of obnoxious middle aged rednecks have been making out at the end of the bar for an hour when my relief bartender comes in for the night shift, the man waves him over.

“What were you drinking, sir?”
“Jim Beam, double.”

He pours the drink and serves it. The man looks at the glass.

“You suck at pouring doubles.”
“Well, you smoke Pall Malls.”

It’s Made From Pure Sugar Cane

, , , , , | Related | September 16, 2019

(A few years ago, my grandfather started having trouble walking. One day, he comes back from the store and, upon opening the door, immediately starts this conversation.)

Grandfather: “I have a cocaine!”

Me: “What?”

(I turned around and saw my grandfather gesturing to the new cane he bought, with a Coca-Cola design on it. He never let me live it down until the day he died.)

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Lockdown In Slytherin

, , , , | Learning | September 16, 2019

(I’m in my senior year of high school at a new school and it’s already better than my old school in every aspect. One better thing is the teachers. My favorite is my anatomy teacher, who is known to be a little out there. He has four snakes around his room. We are going through drills in each class and his is no different… for the most part.)

Teacher: “Okay, in case of a lockdown, see the supply closet in the back?”

(Everyone turns to the large room in the back.)

Teacher: “There is a door inside leading to a large room made completely out of cinder block. That is where we will go. Inside that room is a squirt bottle filled with pure sulfuric acid. So, if anyone tries to get us, they have to go through the four snakes in here and then a face full of sulfuric acid.”

(Everyone is silent at this point, some moving further from the snake habitats.)

Teacher: *smiles brightly* “Whoever is stupid enough to come in will be more worried about their face melting off or whether or not they’ll see again than us.”

(Then, he went back to the lesson like he hadn’t just told us we might see someone crushed by the constrictor in the corner or see someone’s face melt off.)

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