A Catalog Of Errors

| Moraga, CA, USA | Working | May 24, 2017

(My dad does maintenance at post offices over several counties (painting, electrical, machinery, etc). Dad would get a work order requesting a fix; he would drive over, check to see what needed to be done, go to a local hardware store, buy the part, and fix it right away. That’s how he USED to do it…)

Boss: *at meeting* “There are going to be some changes in how we handle work orders from now on. All purchased parts have to come out of a catalog from [Company the post office made a contract with]. We will no longer authorize employees to purchase parts from stores.”

Dad: “So, let me get this straight… You want me to drive to [City 50 miles away], look at the problem, drive 50 miles back here, order a part, wait a week for the part to arrive, drive back to the scene, fix it, then drive back here.”

Boss: “That’s right!”

Dad: “That’s going to be more expensive in the long run.”

Boss: “Not at all. We get a discount from the company.”

Dad: “This part right here costs $12 with our discount. I can buy it for $8 at [Hardware Store]. How does driving 200 miles on two round trips save us any money?”

Boss: “This is how you will do it from now on. I don’t want to hear any more about it.”

Dad: “Okay…”

(And until the day he retired, Dad had to listen to upper management freak out about how the costs skyrocketed and discussing frantically where they could possibly cut costs. Every time Dad told them to just let him buy from a hardware store, he was told that their discount was what was saving them money.)

Banking On It Being An Actual Bank

| USA | Right | April 25, 2017

(A tired looking customer walks up to my window without a word and sets a bank deposit bag on the counter. Assuming he has letters inside I unzip it and discover several hundred dollars in cash and a deposit slip.)

Me: “Uhm, sir? Did you need to stamps or a money order?”

Customer: “No. It’s a deposit.”

Me: “We’re a post office. The bank’s two blocks down.”

Customer: “It’s for deposit.”

Me: “There’s no way for me to deposit this. You’re at the post office; we don’t have accounts to deposit this into.”

(Customer blinks and slowly looks around at the postal regulation posters, stamp display, and my uniform.)

Customer: “I’m really sorry. I just finished the night shift and they dragged me out of bed for this.”

(He took the bag from me and wearily headed out the door. Hopefully the next person he handed a bag of cash worked at a bank.)

Had A Bit Too Much Glue As A Child

| McCracken County, KY, USA | Right | January 25, 2017

(I am a window clerk. One of my favorite questions is “how much is a 39-cent stamp?” Just to make it interesting one day I reply: “with, or without glue?”)

Customer: “How much is either one?”

Me: “Well, the ones with glue are 39 cents; the ones without glue are 39 cents.”

Customer: “Give me the one with the glue. I don’t mind paying extra.”

Become A Ho Ho Holy Ghost

| UT, USA | Friendly | December 26, 2016

(My parents’ way of dealing with the stereotypical awkward child questions was to honestly answer any question asked on the assumption that if we asked the question, we were ready for the answer. If we didn’t ask the obvious follow up questions then clearer we weren’t ready for that step. As such we’ve never had the big reveals or such that media talks about. Sometime before I was born this practice resulted in the following conversation.)

Random Lady: “Oh, aren’t you adorable. Are you sending your letters to Santa Claus?”

(My then elementary school ages older brother looks up at her with a perplexed expression.)

Brother: “Santa Claus is dead.”

(The old lady was shocked to hear that coming from a little boy. My brother was just confused that an adult didn’t know about Saint Nicholas.)

I Want A Money-Order And Make It Snappy

| PA, USA | Working | November 23, 2016

(My boyfriend is trying to do a money order, and I have gone with him. Note that he is a very well-mannered British man with no patience for impoliteness. He has also never done a money order before.)

Boyfriend: “Hi, I’d like to get a money order.”

(The cashier glares at him but says nothing. There is an awkward pause.)

Boyfriend: “Um, sorry, I said I’d like to get a money order.”

(Another pause. The cashier glares at him again. Finally, she snaps at him.)

Cashier: *loudly and rudely* “For how much?!”

Boyfriend: *taken aback* “Sorry, for $[amount].”

(He then turns to me with a very calm look on his face.)

Boyfriend: *in his very level, polite British accent* “I have never met someone so rude in my entire life.”

(Though I am bad at confrontation and have nothing to reply with, the cashier freezes. Her tone and demeanor immediately change.)

Cashier: “Would you like cash back?”

Boyfriend: “No, thank you.”

(The transaction finishes with the cashier being much meeker, and as we walk away:)

Me: “Some people just like to take their misery out on others. Sorry, love.”

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