Cheese Addiction Is Becoming A Problem

, , , , | Healthy | December 5, 2019

(I work at a non-profit rehab for teens as a counselor. During their lunch, a new resident is having a heated argument with other staff over her dietary restrictions.)

Teen: “I can’t eat this; it has cheese. I’m vegan.”

Staff: “We’re trying to accommodate. The cooks have been made aware and are working on fixing you something else.”

Teen: “You shouldn’t be eating this stuff. Do you know how badly dairy and meat harms your body? You guys are all disgusting.”

Me: *screaming internally* “You shouldn’t lecture anyone when you smoke meth!”

1 Thumbs
418

Entitlement Will Cost You

, , , , , , , , | Right | November 22, 2019

I work in a pretty gigantic grocery store. It’s self-service, like 99.9% of all grocery stores. We are also, sadly, located in a very wealthy area.

A woman walks up to the service desk where I work — lucky me — hands me a gigantic list of groceries, and says, “I need these.”

I’m a bit shocked, but I collect myself and hand her list back along with a pre-printed store directory, and tell her that the directory will help her find things. 

She says, “No, I need you to get these for me. I’m in a hurry.”

I try to kindly explain that we are a self-service grocery store and that we don’t have a shopping service and that, furthermore, it would probably take me longer to do her shopping because I wouldn’t know specifically what she wants.

She refuses to accept this and soon my service desk manager is involved, trying to tell her that we can’t do her shopping for her.

She continues to make a big deal about it and insists that we call the front end manager — above the service desk manager. So, our front end manager comes up. She listens to the woman spin a sob story about how her mother is in the hospital, before asking to see the list.

The list is as lazy and generic as anyone can expect. Instead of specific items and brands, she has such things listed as “spaghetti sauce,” “bread,” and, “snacks.” 

We’re now about a half-hour into this lady’s stay in our store.

The manager scans the list, and then turns to me and speaks in a clear, commanding tone, “[My Name], we pride ourselves on customer service here.” Then, her voice drops to a whisper, and she says, “Therefore, in the spirit of customer service, get the best of everything on this list.”

I am normally completely against giving in to the customer, but I catch the front end manager’s drift and decide that I’ll gladly make an exception!

I begin to shop, selecting the most expensive items offered in each category. So, instead of cheaper, store-brand spaghetti sauce, simple white sandwich bread, and store-brand potato chips, I select two jars of very expensive, imported pasta sauce, a loaf of fresh-baked, organic, whole-wheat bread, and gourmet cookies. I fill the entire cart in this manner.

Oh, yeah, and I go really slow — about an hour and a half of shopping. It is a long list after all, and I am making sure to get her the best of everything!

I bring it back up to the desk, where she is just standing there with a bored look on her face, getting in the way of other customers, because she refuses to budge. I give her the cart and tell her she can get in the lines and cash out. 

She scoffs at this and demands to be taken care of at the service desk. 

Normally, we can cash out short orders, but not big ones like this. We don’t have a moving belt and we only have a tiny bag stand. She complains until we finally give in and take her order. Because we are not properly equipped, it takes me about a half-hour to ring in her order.

If you’re keeping track, we’re at over two and a half hours for this lady who was supposedly in a hurry. By this point, I think she’s forgotten about her hurry, and is simply stubbornly sticking to being “right.”

Now, if this were my shopping, the same list would have cost maybe $150 dollars. But due to my… quality… shopping style, this cart of groceries comes to about $1,400.

She starts to argue with me but I cut her off and say, “Have a great day, ma’am. You’d better rush along to get to your mother in the hospital; I’m sure she really needs you now!”

The lady doesn’t seem to know what to say after that, so she just pays and leaves, albeit not very happily. We print up a second copy of the receipt and hang it in the break room on our “Hall of Fame” corkboard.

1 Thumbs
1,145

Unfiltered Story #177102

, , , | Unfiltered | November 8, 2019

(My class and I were loading our luggage on a bus to go to our retreat. All the guys finished loading their bags and proceeded to enter the bus. As we were entering, this happens.)

Teacher: (to us) Don’t you see all off these ladies trying to put their stuff on the bus?

Guys: Yes

Teacher: Why don’t go boys go help them.

Classmate: (Teacher) it’s 2015, don’t you know that women are strong now?

(After hearing that, all the guys enter the bus)

Unfiltered Story #173091

, , , | Unfiltered | October 27, 2019

Me: Arigato! Thank you for calling (restaurant). How may I assist you?

Caller: ——

Me: Hello, you’ve reached (restaurant). How can I help you?

Caller: ——

Me: I’m sorry, but I can’t hear you. I’m hanging up now. Please call back.

Less than a minute later…..

Me: Arigato! Thank you for calling (restaurant). What can I do for you today?

Caller: YEAH YOU JUST HUNG UP ON ME! LET ME SPEAK WITH THE OWNER!

Me: May I ask who’s calling and what it’s regarding?

Caller: THIS IS IGOR! AND I WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOU HANGING UP ON ME!!!

Me: I’m so sorry about that. I can assure you that if I ended your call it was not intentional.

Caller: I DON’T CARE! YOU HUNG UP ON ME AND I WANT TO SPEAK TO THE OWNER NOW!

Me: I’m sorry, but the owner is available. May I direct your call to the ma—

Caller: GET ME JUSTIN THEN, THE GM! YOU HUNG UP ON MEEEE!

Me: I’m sorry, but he also currently unavailable. Would you like—

Caller: I’LL HOLD THEN!

Me: It will be quite some time. Would you like to call back in fifteen minutes?

Caller: FINE!

My shift is almost over and he still hasn’t called back. Fingers crossed!

Quentin Tarantino Really Took Liberties With History On That Movie

, , , , , , | Working | August 26, 2019

(I work for a film locations company. I get a call from a stage director.)

Me: “[Company], how can I help you?”

Director: “Yeah, I’m looking for an old house.”

Me: “Okay! Can you give me a few more specifics? Do you mean run down, or from a certain decade?”

Director: “I need a first-century house.”

Me: “Sorry, did you say first century?”

Director: “Yeah.”

Me: “So, like… a cave?”

Director: “Ugh, no! Umm, okay, have you ever seen Inglourious Basterds?”

Me: “Yes.”

Director: “You know the old house from the opening scene?”

Me: “Yes.”

Director: “I need a house like that.”

Me: “Okay. Now that I have a sense of what you need, I’m sorry to say that we don’t have any properties in our database that look like that. Our houses are more residential.”

Director: “Ugh, seriously? Well, I guess I’ll have to look elsewhere.”

Me: “I’m so sorry we couldn’t help you today, but for your future reference, Inglourious Basterds takes place in Nazi-occupied France in the 1940s, so you’re looking for a house from the 20th century.”

Director: “Thanks.” *hangs up*

(The opening shot, with the house in the background, literally states the setting year is 1941.)

1 Thumbs
359