Kids Will Make Liars Of You Every Time

, , , , , , | | Healthy | June 30, 2019

(My daughter, around three or four years old, is acting increasingly lethargic, so I take her to urgent care. As always, there is a long wait and she steadily gets more and more bored and restless until the doctor finally comes in. The doctor looks at her and then at me.)

Doctor: “Okay, what brings you here tonight?”

Me: “My daughter has become really lethargic.”

(My daughter can’t sit still anymore and gets up.)

Doctor: “Hi, honey. Can you jump around a little for me?”

(My daughter goes wild, pogo-ing around the room.)

Me: “She wasn’t like this at home! I am so sorry I’ve wasted your time.”

Doctor: “Eh, that’s okay. To be honest, I’m a pediatric specialist. I’m just working here to make a little extra money. Most of my patients die. It’s really nice for me to see a healthy kid.”  

(We shook hands and he walked out. This was almost 20 years ago, and I’ve never forgotten how quickly my embarrassment was replaced with sadness.)

Trying To Discount The Idea Of A Discount

, , , | | Right | June 27, 2019

(This story was told to me by my coworker. I witness the interaction happening but don’t understand what is going on at the time. A customer purchases two light bulbs at a discount and comes back the next day to return them.)

Coworker: “You’ll have $14.50 credited back to your card.”

Customer: “No, the bulbs cost $10 each; it should be $20.”

Coworker: “Yes, but it shows here on your receipt that you were given a discount.”

Customer: “Yes, but the bulbs cost $10, so I should get $20 back.”

Coworker: “You only paid $14.50 for the bulbs.”

Customer: “Yes, but they cost $10.”

Coworker: “I can’t give you back $20 for something you paid $14.50 for.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Limping Away From Ignorance

, , , , , | | Working | June 13, 2019

(I have just started working at a store that sits right in the middle of the higher- and working-class population, so a mix of different people will come and shop. Within my first week, on a slow day, I’m chatting with two of my coworkers as a customer with a semi-noticeable limp enters through the elevators.)

Coworker #1: “Ugh, she’s back.”

Coworker #2: “Hey, [My Name], when she’s ready, can you check her out?”

Me: “Okay, why?”

Coworker #2: “Well, she has a bit of an attitude, and you’re new. Have to graduate somehow, right?”

Me: *rolls eyes* “Haha. But sure, all right.”

(Eventually, she comes up to my register. She smiles and acknowledges that I’m new, since she doesn’t recognize my face. She’s wearing a veteran cap, which I point out and ask about, as my cousin is a veteran, too. We end up chatting for a bit while I ring her out. She pays with an EBT card for her groceries and goes off on her way to the elevators once again. She was perfectly polite, and I am left confused over the warning I had received about her from my coworkers until they both approach me again.)

Coworker #1: “Wow. How did you do that?”

Me: “Do what?” *starting to think I was lucky for catching the customer while she was in a good mood*

Coworker #1: “Keep a straight face?”

Me: *more confused* “Over what?”

Coworker #1: “Come on, you know.”

(She then starts to imitate an exaggerated limp, mocking the customer. My second coworker laughs. I’m left speechless.)

Coworker #2: “I’m more surprised that you were able to keep it together when she flashed her EBT card. She always does it so casually, too! It’s so shameless.”

(By now, my confusion has manifested into anger.)

Me: “Why does it matter how she pays for her food?”

Coworker #2: “Well, I mean, it’s not just that. It’s just the shamelessness. I try to act casual, too, but then she always gets attitude and all mad about it. Like, dude, at least I’m trying!”

Coworker #1: “She always takes the elevator, too. Like, at least try to look active.”

(Now my anger is BOILING.)

Me: “Are you kidding me? She’s clearly a veteran!”

(Both give me a blank stare.)

Coworker #1: “So?”

Coworker #2: “Yeah, wasn’t that her choice, anyway?”

(I gave up and walked away at this point as I was literally shaking with rage. We never got along after that, but I got along with my other coworkers just fine — most of whom also had issues with how ignorant and conceited the other two usually acted — and I was always happy to see my regular who, by the way, never gave “attitude” towards anyone else BUT the two coworkers, solely because they gave it to her first. Eventually, one quit and the other was let go, the latter due to her behavior towards customers. None of us were shocked.)

In A World… Where People Do Not Listen

, , , , , | | Working | June 11, 2019

(I work the front desk for a company that makes movie trailers. Sometimes clients will send gifts to my bosses and use mobile delivery services to do so. One day, a delivery boy from a delivery company comes by to drop off a gift.) 

Delivery Boy: “You guys work in entertainment, right? What exactly do you guys do?”

Me: “We make movie trailers.”

Delivery Boy: “What does [Gift Recipient] do?”

Me: “Um. He is a producer.”

Delivery Boy: “Oh, well, I’m an actor, so would it be all right if I leave my information for him?”

Me: “He produces movie trailers. He is not a movie producer.”

Delivery Boy: “I still like to leave my information for people, just in case.” *begins writing down his information*

Me: “But like I said, we make movie trailers; we don’t make movies. The studios send us the film and we cut it into a trailer. We are post-production.”

Delivery Boy: *continues to write down his “acting” information and then tries to flirt with me for five more minutes*

Unfiltered Story #153770

, , , | | Unfiltered | June 8, 2019

I now know why people ask if you want cheese on your cheeseburger when you
ask for only ketchup.

Customer: Excuse me, I want to make a complaint.

Me: What can I help you with, sir?

Customer: Every time I order from this location you guys f*** it up! I don’t
get it, is this store just full of morons? I asked for this pizza with
cheese only! What does this look like? (hands his pizza over)

Me: I don’t see anything but cheese sir, what else is on there?

Second customer: I think he means that there.

(I look closer but still don’t see anything. Meanwhile the customer is
getting more and more irate and mean while I’m trying to figure out what is
going on.)

Me: Sir, do you mean the sauce?

Customer: What do you think I mean when I say ONLY CHEESE! I cannot believe
how stupid you all are here. ONLY CHEESE, ONLY CHEESE! Just give me my money
back, I’m never coming here again.

(With relief I give him his money back, trying to ignore anything he is
saying from now on since his issue is basically solved to what he has
requested at this point.)

(As soon as he walks out the door I hear my co-worker say): I wish you could
talk back to customers they way they talk to us sometimes.

(Yeah, me too.)

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