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Who’s Being The Biggest Child Here?

, , , , , , | Right | September 14, 2021

I work at a really small mom-and-pop butcher shop in a trendy neighborhood. For health reasons, we have a few rules for people who want to do in-store shopping: namely, we limit the number of people in the store at any one time to five people, one person per party. A lot of times, people will come in with their spouses or significant other, and when we explain the one-person-per-party policy, they’re happy to have one of them wait outside while the other orders.

However, this doesn’t pertain to parents with young children, as, obviously, the kids need to stay with their parents.

We have a long line of people waiting to get in, and there are already five people in the shop. One person comes out, and a woman comes in with her boyfriend. 

Me: “Hi, ma’am. Just so you know, we have a one-person-per-party policy at the moment. If you want, you can take a minute to decide what you’re getting and then have one of you step outside?”

The lady, already indignant and angry, points to a mother shopping with her three-year-old daughter. 

Customer: “Well, what about them?!”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s a child.”

Customer: “That shouldn’t matter!”

I walked away and found another coworker to deal with her. I don’t get paid enough for that level of stupid.

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That’s The Way The Cookie Smuggles

, , , , , , | Right | September 3, 2021

I baked cookies around Christmas and put them in the break room at work for everyone. The rest of the staff really liked them, so sometime later in January, I made two trays’ worth and brought them over.

I had a morning shift beginning at 7:30 am and I put the cookies in the break room, first thing. By 10:00 am, they were gone. I thought that some people really enjoyed them, considering it took until about 4:00 pm for them to run out last time, but asking around, less than half the staff even knew I brought cookies at all. They just saw some empty trays in the break room.

Even management liked these cookies, and one of them, failing to have a cookie, looked at the security footage. Turned out that a so-called “customer” made his way into the back when no one was looking and then went into the break room. He stretched out the front of the shirt he was wearing into a pouch and filled it with every cookie still there. He then carried the cookies out of the building, taking a route that would not get him noticed by anyone working there.

That guy must have really liked these cookies, but learn to share!

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Word Problems Require Weird Solutions

, , , , , , | Learning | August 18, 2021

I am a private tutor. I have given my fourth-grade student the following question: “Buses need to be rented for twenty-seven children going on a field trip. Each bus can take twelve children in addition to the driver. How many buses must be rented?”

Student: “I say two buses.”

The answer is supposed to be three.

Me: “How did you get two?”

Student: “Because it’s too expensive otherwise.”

Me: “Wait, what?”

Student: “Otherwise, you’d get three buses, but the third bus is only going to have three kids in it. That’s a waste of a bus.”

I burst out laughing. My student is giggling as well now.

Student: Or, how about two buses, and we’ll strap some chairs at the top so the other three kids can sit up there.”

Me: *Recovering* “That doesn’t seem very safe!”

Student: “Right. So it’s only for the bad ones. The naughty kids have to sit on the top of the bus while the good kids can sit inside. It’s cheaper and better for everyone!”

We drew a model of her bus prototype after she completed all the word problems. I love this kid.

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An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 16

, , , , , , , | Right | August 3, 2021

It is mid-2021. I’m a manager of a cafe. My county has just passed another mandate requiring all customers entering restaurants to wear a mask, regardless of vaccination status. Previously, vaccinated customers could forego masks. Of course, on day one of the new mandate, in walks a maskless customer demanding to be served.

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but there’s a new mandate that’s just come into effect today. You can’t come in here without a mask.”

Customer: “Well, the sheriff’s not enforcing it.”

Me: “That’s fine, but it’s a health code violation, and if I don’t enforce it, we could get fined.”

Customer: “I’m fully vaccinated, and the sheriff’s not enforcing it, so you shouldn’t, either.”

Me: “Again, ma’am, it’s a health code violation. I don’t make the rules. If you won’t put on a mask, I’m going to need to ask you to leave.”

This goes back and forth for some time, before I completely lose my patience — and my filter.

Customer: “Well, the sheriff’s not enforcing it, so why should you care?”

Me: “Because I could get fined, you dumb b****.” 

She went red in the face before marching out of the cafe. I’m probably going to get in trouble with my boss for that comment, which I admit was crossing the line. In my defence, I’d been working in ninety-plus degree weather with a busted AC for two weeks, and she’d been the latest in a chain of customers putting up a fight over a rule I had no control over. I was just completely done at that point.

An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 15
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 14
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 13
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 12
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 11

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Refunder Blunder, Part 55

, , , , , , | Right | July 16, 2021

I work in a small delicatessen that serves a variety of sandwiches, pasta, and salads, as well as a small selection of tea and coffee. We have a few regulars who will come in the morning to get coffee and something for lunch, who the long-term staff all recognize on sight.

One day, a woman came in who none of us had seen before, and she ordered a couple of sandwiches. There was nothing out of the ordinary. The only thing that stuck out about her was that she was wearing a riotously colored shirt with a fairly famous acronym on it. She paid, got the sandwiches bagged up, and left.

Six hours later, as I am finishing up my shift and preparing to leave, the same lady comes back in, holding her bag with a big muddy boot print on it. She drops it on the counter, splattering bits of mud everywhere.

Customer: “I don’t want this anymore. Refund me.”

Our cashier, who is only on her second week in the store, stares at the bag, wide-eyed, before shaking her head.

Cashier: “We don’t want it, either, lady.”

I had to turn away to hide my giggles, as the woman puffed up and started shouting at the top of her lungs about how she was “in here all the time” (a lie), “couldn’t believe the disrespect” (technically true), “would see her fired” (another lie), etc. Our manager basically sprinted out of the back to take over and try to calm down the woman, but when the lady ended up trying to push our manager aside so she could spit at the cashier, our manager told her to get out, which she eventually did.

As I said, all of us know our regulars, and she wasn’t one, and thank goodness for that. We didn’t see her again after that.

Refunder Blunder, Part 54
Refunder Blunder, Part 53
Refunder Blunder, Part 52
Refunder Blunder, Part 51
Refunder Blunder, Part 50

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