Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

You’re Only Beautiful When You’re Giving Me Money

, , , , , , , | Friendly | November 23, 2021

I am walking down Hollywood Boulevard when a man steps into my path. 

Man: “Hey, girl, you are beautiful. Let me tell you a little about my music. Do you have a minute?”

Me: “No, thanks.”

I step to the side but he steps in front of me again.

Man: “Now look, I’m getting big on Instagram, but I’m out here—”

Me: “I’ll kick you.”

Man: *Hands up* “Easy, girl, I’m just trying to share my music.” 

I walk around him and he yells after me.

Man: “You wanna be a cold b****, that’s between you and God.”

I keep walking.

Man: “Yeah, f*** you, stupid whore!”

He continues to yell at me as I walk down the street. On my way back, the same man steps in front of me again. 

Man: “Miss, you are gorgeous! Can— Oh, f*** no.”

I just laughed as I walked by.

The next weekend, I was walking the same street and saw a woman standing a few feet from the “artist” telling everyone that he gave her a blank CD and refused to give her money back. He did not look happy.

Surprise! I Pick Door Number Three!

, , , , , , , , | Working | November 11, 2021

A few years ago, I had a rental car reservation in Los Angeles. After I filled out the paperwork, the agent asked:

Agent #1: “Do you want the full insurance or just the basic?”

Communication is more than simply words; body language, tone of voice, and context actually give more information than the literal meaning. It was obvious he was presenting me a binary choice. I wasn’t having it.

Me: “I’ll take the ‘No Insurance’.”

I got the car without further upselling.

As it happened, I was in Boston a few weeks later, this time renting a car from a different company. When I got to the counter, the agent asked the same question, word-for-word, with the same implication that I HAD to take one or the other. Funny how the con magically migrated across the continent AND between companies.

This time, I was prepared.

Me: “Would you like me to complain to corporate or just your manager?”

The agent got a deer in the headlights look and stammered:

Agent #2: “I was just telling you that you have those options.”

Me: “I’m sure. Let me speak to your manager.”

The manager came out but brushed me off when I asked if this was a sales technique he condoned. I wrote to the corporate office but never got a reply. I can’t wait until I have to rent a car again.

Who’s Being The Biggest Child Here?

, , , , , , | Right | September 14, 2021

I work at a really small mom-and-pop butcher shop in a trendy neighborhood. For health reasons, we have a few rules for people who want to do in-store shopping: namely, we limit the number of people in the store at any one time to five people, one person per party. A lot of times, people will come in with their spouses or significant other, and when we explain the one-person-per-party policy, they’re happy to have one of them wait outside while the other orders.

However, this doesn’t pertain to parents with young children, as, obviously, the kids need to stay with their parents.

We have a long line of people waiting to get in, and there are already five people in the shop. One person comes out, and a woman comes in with her boyfriend. 

Me: “Hi, ma’am. Just so you know, we have a one-person-per-party policy at the moment. If you want, you can take a minute to decide what you’re getting and then have one of you step outside?”

The lady, already indignant and angry, points to a mother shopping with her three-year-old daughter. 

Customer: “Well, what about them?!”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s a child.”

Customer: “That shouldn’t matter!”

I walked away and found another coworker to deal with her. I don’t get paid enough for that level of stupid.

That’s The Way The Cookie Smuggles

, , , , , , | Right | September 3, 2021

I baked cookies around Christmas and put them in the break room at work for everyone. The rest of the staff really liked them, so sometime later in January, I made two trays’ worth and brought them over.

I had a morning shift beginning at 7:30 am and I put the cookies in the break room, first thing. By 10:00 am, they were gone. I thought that some people really enjoyed them, considering it took until about 4:00 pm for them to run out last time, but asking around, less than half the staff even knew I brought cookies at all. They just saw some empty trays in the break room.

Even management liked these cookies, and one of them, failing to have a cookie, looked at the security footage. Turned out that a so-called “customer” made his way into the back when no one was looking and then went into the break room. He stretched out the front of the shirt he was wearing into a pouch and filled it with every cookie still there. He then carried the cookies out of the building, taking a route that would not get him noticed by anyone working there.

That guy must have really liked these cookies, but learn to share!

Word Problems Require Weird Solutions

, , , , , , | Learning | August 18, 2021

I am a private tutor. I have given my fourth-grade student the following question: “Buses need to be rented for twenty-seven children going on a field trip. Each bus can take twelve children in addition to the driver. How many buses must be rented?”

Student: “I say two buses.”

The answer is supposed to be three.

Me: “How did you get two?”

Student: “Because it’s too expensive otherwise.”

Me: “Wait, what?”

Student: “Otherwise, you’d get three buses, but the third bus is only going to have three kids in it. That’s a waste of a bus.”

I burst out laughing. My student is giggling as well now.

Student: Or, how about two buses, and we’ll strap some chairs at the top so the other three kids can sit up there.”

Me: *Recovering* “That doesn’t seem very safe!”

Student: “Right. So it’s only for the bad ones. The naughty kids have to sit on the top of the bus while the good kids can sit inside. It’s cheaper and better for everyone!”

We drew a model of her bus prototype after she completed all the word problems. I love this kid.