LOL-ly

, , , , , , , , | Healthy | September 13, 2019

Late at night, my grandfather calls me to say my grandmother is having an “episode” and needs me. I hurry over, take one look at her, and call an ambulance; we escort her to the hospital.

My grandmother has become increasingly anxious about getting older and sicker and is visibly shaking and getting upset at the sudden onset of people around her taking blood, canulating, running ECGs, etc. The primary nurse has been professional, but far from warm or personable. My grandmother and I are nurses ourselves — well, Grandma was, years ago — so we totally understand that that happens sometimes.

My grandmother is given a cup of disgusting potassium liquid to drink, which she does quickly, but, in an effort to try and cheer herself up, she says, “Ugh! Wah wah wah! I want a lolly after that!”

The primary nurse disappears out of the room for a minute and returns… holding a rainbow lollipop, which she unwraps and presents to Grandma. She says, still in her serious voice, “That’s for being a brave girl,” and then heads out of the room again.

Grandma was so chuffed she talked about that little gesture for her remaining years.

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Asking Him To Press Buttons Makes Him Press Yours

, , , , , , | Right | September 10, 2019

(I work at a European grocery store, in Australia. Our card reading machines are a bit crappy and have a few steps to them, including a screen that asks the customer if they would like to take cash out, a screen asking them to select their account using the numbers on the PIN pad, and then a screen telling them to enter their PIN. The next person in line at my till is a young woman, but a man has perhaps unintentionally put his one bottle of liquor in front of her groceries. He walks forward expectantly, assuming I will now serve him first. I glance over to the young woman and she gives me a little shrug which I take to mean she doesn’t mind if I take care of the man first, and avoid possible trouble.)

Me: “Hi! How are you today?”

Old Man: “I want $60 cash out.”

Me: “Sure thing. You’ll just need to insert your card for me.”

Old Man: *tries to insert his card upside down*

Me: “Round the other way, please, sir.”

Old Man: *grunts but manages to put it in right*

Me: “Okay, so, what I need you to do is just type in ‘60’ and then hit the ‘okay’ button there at the bottom for me.”

Old Man: *more grunts*

(I see he’s struggling a bit so I reach over and type it in for him, and then turn the machine back to him. I’m already panicking because he obviously is going to be difficult and the lady he pushed in front of is going to have to wait even longer. I explain that he needs to select his account.)

Old Man: “Well, I want a cheque.”

Me: “No problem, just hit whatever number it says cheque is.”

(I watch him try and fail to hit the “CHQ” button instead of the number multiple times before I pull the machine toward me and select number three for a cheque. By this point, he is beyond agitated and snaps at me.)

Old Man: “Do you want my PIN number, too, girl? Want to put that in for me?”

Me: “No, you can do that yourself, sir.”

(I turn the machine back to him and he enters his PIN, but doesn’t hit “okay” to actually finish the transaction.)

Me: “Sir, just hit ‘okay’ for me, please.”

Old Man: “Okay?”

Me: “Yes.”

(The old man proceeds to pull his card out without hitting “okay,” completely canceling the transaction. I am internally screaming by now.)

Me: “Sir, you needed to press ‘okay.’ You pulled your card out before it was ready and now you need to do it again.”

Old Man: *now practically yelling* You said it was okay.”

Me: “No, I said you needed to press ‘okay,’ the green ‘okay’ button at the bottom of the machine, which tells the machine that you have finished entering your PIN.”

(The man now hands me his card.)

Old Man:You do it, then, if you think I’m so incapable!”

(I’m wishing I could tell him just how incapable I really think he is, but I just run his card again, enter his cash-out amount, select cheque, and then hand it back to him for him to enter his PIN. He enters it, finally presses ‘okay,’ and the till tells me it’s processing.)

Old Man: “Is it ready yet?”

Me: “Not quite; it will beep.”

(The machine beeps and my heart is racing at this point.)

Me: “Okay, sir, you can remove your card. Here is your cash; have a good day.”

(He grumbled off and I apologized profusely to the lady who was supposed to be before him. Thankfully, she was cool about it and said I had handled it well. He was only buying one thing and his transaction was honestly one of the longest and definitely the worst one I had that entire day. People can be so awful.)

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He’s Playing With Fire(d)

, , , , , | Working | August 28, 2019

(The auto parts store where I work offers a full-time position to a guy who interviews well and has extensive retail experience. Over the course of three weeks, we begin to suspect he lied on his resume. He’ll stick behind the counter doing nothing instead of tidying the store or helping customers. We offer to help train him further but he doesn’t seem to care. It becomes abundantly clear that he is not suited to the role so he is called into a meeting with our manager and store owner to be fired.)

Coworker: *storming out of the office* “You’re going to regret this! You can’t fire me!”

Manager: “[Coworker], you need to leave now.”

Coworker: “F*** you, [racial slur]. I was too good for this job, anyway!”

Manager: “Excuse me? What did you just call me?!”

Coworker: *runs to hide in his car*

Manager: *walks out to the car and knocks on window* “[Coworker], you need to leave or I’m calling security. But first I expect an apology for what you called me.”

Coworker: “F*** you, a**hole. I hope you lose your job, too!” *drives off*

(After he was fired, he set up multiple Facebook and Google accounts to leave negative reviews about our business, which were thankfully removed. I still see him occasionally when I visit back home, and he scurries off quickly.)

 

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Stay At This Motel For A Banging Time!

, , , , | Legal | August 17, 2019

(I’m a guest in a motel. I’ve already been woken up by loud people twice, so when I’m woken again at 3:30 am by someone banging loudly for over five minutes, I’m really unimpressed, to say the least. I’m on the first floor, while the noise is coming from a room on the opposite side on the third floor. I cannot see who’s knocking. I go out for a cigarette while the banging’s still happening.)

Me: “Shut the f*** up.”

(Three police officers stick their heads over the balcony.)

Officer #1: “Sorry about this.”

Me: “Ah, oops. Sorry, I didn’t know it was you guys, but it is after 3:30.”

Officer #2: “Sorry, but if we have to kick the door in it will be even louder.”

Me: “Do what you need to do. Thanks for letting me know.”

(I finish my smoke and go inside. Luckily, the noise stops and I’m able to sleep. When I get up, I find a plastic bag on my door with some chocolate, a gift card to a coffee shop, and a note.)

Note: “Sorry for the disturbance. Enjoy the chocolate and coffee. [Officers].”

(I found out from the manager that a woman was hiding her boyfriend who was wanted for armed robbery and sexual assault. They’d put a wardrobe and table in front of the door and refused to come out. Luckily, he gave up and surrendered without too much fuss.)

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They Got A Score Of Less Than Ten

, , , , , | Right | August 7, 2019

(I work at a homeware store and our policy is that we do not refund for a change of mind; however, the customer may exchange for another item. We also offer store credit, where we put their amount onto a gift card exclusive to our store; however, we can only do this if the value is over $10. A lady comes up to the counter with two items and a receipt, clearly indicating some form of a return.)

Me: “Hi! How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I just want to return these; I don’t have any use for them.”

(I make sure the items are still in their original packaging and haven’t been used, and I also check the receipt for their prices.)

Me: “Yup, everything seems fine, and it comes to a total of $6.00! Were you planning on doing any shopping today?”

Customer: “No, I’ll just take the amount back onto my card.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we actually don’t do refunds for a change of mind, and the items are less than $10, so—”

Customer:What? Where does it say this? No one has ever told me this!”

Me: *points to the large, white sign taped to the counter, then to her receipt* “It’s right there on the counter and also written on your receipt. We’ve always had this policy.”

Customer: “You can’t do this! I know my rights as a customer! I have a right to a refund!”

Me: “We’re not required to give refunds. We do usually offer store credit, but because the amount is less than—”

Customer: “Fine! I’ll just take store credit, then.”

Me: *trying to keep my cool* “Unfortunately, we can only process store credit for a value over $10. Your total is less than that, so I cannot give it to you in this case.”

Customer: *clearly frustrated* “WHY?”

Me: “The amount goes onto one of our gift cards, and they can only be validated with a value over $10.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! You can’t just force people to spend their money like this! I demand you give me a refund!”

(My supervisor overhears this conversation and comes over.)

Supervisor: “What’s the problem?”

Customer: “You’re refusing me a refund! This is absurd! It’s only $6.00! If you’re not going to give me credit, I don’t see the point of buying something right away if I’m not going to have a use for it!”

Supervisor: *rolls her eyes at me, knowing I’ve already explained everything to the lady* “Yeah, it’s fine; just give her the refund.”

(I sigh and go and get the paperwork. I spend several minutes filling out all the details, have her sign it, and then go to process the refund.)

Me: “Okay, so that’s $6.00 back onto your card. Just tap it when you’re ready, and it will just ask for your PIN.”

(The lady presses the card to the machine and then places it back in her purse and stands there quietly for a few moments, waiting.)

Me: “So, it’s just going to need your PIN.”

Customer: “What? Why? It’s a refund!”

Me: “Yes, but the system cannot process the refund without a PIN.”

Customer: “But… but I don’t remember my PIN!”

Me: “There’s no way to do the refund without it.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

(I nod coolly, because I know that if I speak it will come out as a scream.)

Customer: “Okay, maybe I’ll just have a look around and see if I can find anything.” *walks away*

Me: “…”

Coworker: “Un-f******-believable.”

(She came back an hour later with a trolley’s worth of items that added up to $110 after taking out the original $6.00 refund value. The moment she left, I went into the back room and screamed while my supervisor laughed her head off. It’s a good thing it wasn’t a busy day that day.)

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