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The Passenger Has Totally Checked Out

, , , , , | Right | October 20, 2021

I am waiting to board a flight when we receive word that it has been cancelled due to fog in the other city — not an uncommon thing to happen. Everyone lines up at the desk to get rebooked onto different flights. I’m waiting my turn when I see this gem of an interaction.

Flight Attendant: “All right, you have now been rebooked on [new flight number]. Do you have checked luggage?”

Passenger: “Yes.”

Flight Attendant: “Great. You will need to collect it from Carousel 2 and take it back to the desks to be checked in for your new flight.”

Passenger: “But it’s already been checked in.”

Flight Attendant: “Pardon?”

Passenger: “It’s been checked in. I did that about an hour ago.”

Flight Attendant: “Yes, for your cancelled flight. But you need to check it in for your new flight.”

Passenger: “You don’t understand. The luggage has been checked in already. That’s done.”

Flight Attendant: “For which flight?”

Passenger: “[Old flight number], duh.”

Flight Attendant: “The flight that got cancelled.”

Passenger: “Yeah.”

Flight Attendant: “But you’re now on a new flight.”

Passenger: “Yeah.”

Flight Attendant: “Which means you need to check your luggage on your new flight.”

Passenger: *Pauses* “I don’t get it.”

The poor flight attendant must have gone through the whole conversation four times, doing everything except pulling out finger puppets to convince the traveller to check his luggage. He finally left, still looking confused, and I was able to rebook my own flight. The flight attendant looked very relieved when I assured her that I only had a carry-on.

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Lemmings: Customer Edition

, , , , , , , | Right | October 11, 2021

I have just finished shopping and am making my way to the cashier. There are two cashier counters open, but for some reason, everyone is only queuing up for one of them. The other cashier is simply standing there looking at the queue and there is no “closed” sign or anything on her counter.

I move to the open counter and hand my purchases to the cashier, and she starts to ring them up without a word. Seeing this, several customers from the long line immediately switch over to my line.

The woman behind me rudely informs me that I was supposed to queue up. I point out that nobody was queuing here in the first place, and she chooses not to reply. 

I guess this is what happens when you simply follow the crowd without thinking.

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Being Married To Mr. Cheapskate

, , , , , , , | Right | September 28, 2021

I’m working in a department store. We are closing tonight at 9:30 pm. Just before 9:00 pm, the manager of another store calls to have me hold a dress in a size they don’t have in stock. I put it aside for the customer to come and pick up before closing. The store the manager called from is only ten minutes from my store. She also warned me that these particular customers may be difficult.

The customer walks in with her husband and asks for the dress on hold and I give it to her. 

Customer’s Husband: “The manager at the other store said you were going to give us a discount on this dress. She said a further 20% off at least.”

Me: “Well, this dress has already been marked down a further 20% from the sale price, so the marked price is what it is currently retailing for.”

Customer’s Husband: “No, no! The other manager said we would get another discount on top to make up for the fact that we had to travel so far to come and pick it up.”

The store they came from is only ten minutes away and the dress costs $80 down from $300.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but that does not sound like something she would have said. It also goes against company policy, as prices are set by head office and I have no power to alter them unless in the case of severe damage to the item. Nonetheless, I’ll call her now to confirm.”

Sure enough, the customer’s husband wasn’t told anything about a further discount. He proceeds to argue with me and the manager of the other store over the phone. At this point, it is about five minutes to closing.

Me: “Sir, it is now five minutes to closing. As we have both spent the last twenty minutes explaining, we cannot alter the price of this dress. Our registers will close in five minutes, so if you would like to take this dress, it needs to be now. Otherwise, you will have to come back tomorrow.”

Customer: *To her husband* “Please stop; you are embarrassing me. I’ll buy the dress and you let this poor girl go home. The place is closing.”

Customer’s Husband: “The only way I will take this dress is if you reimburse me for the cost of my petrol to get here. I will also accept store credit or a gift for the inconvenience.”

Me: “No. I live in this area, and I know the store you came from is only ten minutes away. Either way, I cannot simply give away products for free or issue a store credit if you aren’t returning anything.”

Customer’s Husband: “Well, that doesn’t matter! I live half an hour away! At least pay me for half of the petrol needed to get here!”

Me: “You chose to come to this store to pick this dress up. I did not ask you to come here. If you don’t want to purchase today, we also sell online, but I must ask you to make a decision within the next minute.”

Security is near my section while the customer’s husband rants and raves on about gifts he believes he should get for making the “trip” to our store and has the audacity to say that I should be lucky he would consider spending good money here.

Customer: “I am so sorry for wasting your time. I will pay for the dress myself.”

She shoots her husband the ugliest look I’ve ever seen.

Me: “Thank you, madam. Follow me to the registers and I’ll put this through quickly before I am locked out of the system.”

I put the sale through. All the while, her husband kept asking me to reimburse him for his petrol out of my own pocket as an act of goodwill, which he claimed would make him a regular customer of our store. I couldn’t say “no” quick enough. The wife left embarrassed and sorry, and the husband left sulking and cranky.

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She So Didn’t Ace This One

, , , , , , | Romantic | August 6, 2021

I’m a cis female. I go with some friends of mine to an LGBT bar to celebrate my friend’s birthday, and we’re all dressed up for it. The bar is also a popular place for LGBT people to hook up. I’m at the bar to order a drink when another woman approaches me.

Woman: “Hey, listen, you’re really cute. I know you’re here with a group of people, but do you want to hang out with me, instead? See where the night goes?”

Me: “Thanks, but I’m not interested.”

The woman very quickly gets put out.

Woman: “Wait, are you straight?! Because these bars are supposed to be a safe place for gay people.”

Me: “One, I’m not making it any less safe. Two, I’m not straight.”

Woman: “You’re not straight?”

Me: “No.”

Woman: “But you’re not a lesbian?”

Me: “Bit of a jump from ‘not interested’ to ‘not a lesbian,’ but no. And I’m not bi, either, before you guess.”

The woman is looking very confused by this point, but the bartender who is returning with my drink nods to my wallet: a flag made of black, grey, white, and purple stripes.

Bartender: “She’s ace, love.”

Me: “Aromantic, as well. Shoot for the moon if you want, honey, but you’re going to be lucky if you make it to Wollongong.”

But seriously, who sees that someone who is clearly there with a group of friends and celebrating, and decides, “Surely this individual will want to hook up!”?

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This Won’t Leave You With A Warm Feeling

, , , , , | Related | July 26, 2021

It’s December 2019 and Australia is experiencing one of the worst bushfire seasons in history. The sky is constantly red-brown from smoke and ash and we are hearing about new fires popping up every day. A state of emergency has been declared and the general mood is one of fear and anxiety.

One morning, I’m trying to get my children fed and ready for school while trying to get the news to play on our [Smart Home Assistant]. I am getting cranky and shouty as “The Assistant” can’t hear me properly with my kids chattering away in the background.

Assistant: “Would you like to hear some soothing and relaxing sounds?”

Me: *Giving up* “SURE! Why not?”

“The Assistant” plays crackling fire sounds.

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