Unfiltered Story #177748

, , | Unfiltered | November 20, 2019

(My sister and I are at a Gelato shop. She is lactose intolerant so can only have sorbet. )

Sister: Hey, I’m really sorry but I’m about to ask a really dumb question.

Employee: What’s the question?

Sister: *In a really meek and embarrassesed voice* Is the chocolate sorbet dairy free?

Employee: … yes the sorbet is dairy free

(My sister is blushing profusely at this point and I’m trying not to laugh)

Sister: Sorry, I just have to ask! The last place I went to, the server confused sorbet with Gelato and I got really sick!

Employee: *laughing* No problem. This is definitely dairy free sorbet. Cup or a cone?

Sister: cone please

(We got our frozen treats and my sister’s was 100% dairy free!)

Drowned Out By Their Stupidity

, , , , , | Right | November 11, 2019

(I work as the manager for a very popular pet shop chain. I am just starting my shift and, since I am doing a Marine Biology degree at university, I like to hang around the fish tanks. This exchange happens minutes into my shift.)

Me: “Hi. Do you need any help there?”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “Is everything okay?”

Customer: “You poison your fish, don’t you?”

Me: *taken aback* “Ah, no, we take very good care of our tank. I clean them twice a week and make sure that any ill fish are removed from the tan—”

Customer: “Bulls***, I know you do. That is the reason why my fish died!” *holds up a container with a fish in it*

Me: “When did you buy your fish?” *starting to get angry*

Customer: “I bought the f****** thing last week and now it is dead!”

Me: “You need to stop shouting and swearing or I will not serve you.”

Customer: “GET ME YOUR MANAGER RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “With pleasure.”

(I do a 360-degree spin.)

Me: “Hi there. I am the manager; how can I help you?”

Customer: *mutters* “F****** stupid b****.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “Look. I need a refund on my fish because it died. Can you do that?”

Me: “Of course. Were there any signs of its death at all?”

Customer: “Well, it was moving its gills and mouth a lot, so I thought it was drowning, so I took it out of the tank and left it out to get some air.”

(Pause.)

Me: “I am not able to refund or replace your fish, sorry.”

Customer: “Why the h*** not?”

Me: “Mainly because you didn’t take proper care of your fish. They are meant to stay in the water at all times. They don’t breathe like we do; they do it by sucking up the dissolved oxygen in the water.”

Customer: “Yeah, they can breathe oxygen. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

(The customer throws the container containing the fish across the store and starts trying to square up with me, wanting to fight me.)

Me: “I am currently studying to become a Marine Biologist, so I do believe that I have some knowledge in this matter. I do request that you leave the store before I call security.”

Customer: “THIS PLACE IS TERRIBLE! EVERYONE DROP EVERYTHING AND LEAVE THE STORE! WHO IS WITH ME?!”

(Everyone keeps shopping.)

Customer: “F*** all of you!”

(The customer ran out of the store.)

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Laptop Flop, Part 28

, , , , , , | Working | November 3, 2019

I am a health worker who works two days a week conducting home visits to clients in the local area. Ordinarily, I am only in my office for an hour a day and complete most of my documentation on my laptop.

My laptop decides, one day, not to connect to the network. I log a call, specifying that I only work two days a week, what my hours are, and that I am out of the office most of the day, but that my laptop is in a particular spot, available for the technician to collect. I also provide my mobile number so I can be contacted if there’s any problem or question. I now have to do my documentation on paper and transcribe it all when I get back in the office, which is quite time-consuming and stressful, but I’m guessing it will only be for a week or so until I get my laptop back.

For the next four months, the technician visits my office three times a week and ask any random person, admin staff, or other health workers outside my team — i.e. people who don’t even know who I am — if am in, which I never am, and then just leave and close the ticket stating “laptop unavailable.” Consequently, I end up logging another call — which is hard to find time to do, given my extra workload — leaving the same details, and he comes again, finds I am not there, leaves again, and closes the ticket. I try to escalate things but it never seems to go anywhere and I don’t have the time to chase it up.

Eventually, one of the people he asks about me is my coordinator who, reportedly, tears him a new one and physically picks up the computer, puts it in his hands, and escorts him back out the door.

It is returned to me a week later without the power cable, and I have to wait another two weeks for him to return it so I can actually turn the d*** thing on.

Related:
Laptop Flop, Part 27
Laptop Flop, Part 26
Laptop Flop, Part 25

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Creating A Wedge Between You  

, , , , | Right | October 25, 2019

(I’m the team leader at the club’s bistro, where people need to go to a POS to place their order, so the service staff aren’t the same staff who take the orders. This is an incredibly busy Thursday night as we have a large raffle draw. We normally get around 200 to 250 covers; tonight we have 345 with only six staff working in this area. At 7:15 pm, a patron orders a bowl of potato wedges to come with the meals they have already ordered.)

Staff Member: *brings wedges to table* “Here are the wedges you ordered.”

Customer: “Sorry, these aren’t ours. You must have brought them to the wrong table.”

Staff Member: *takes wedges back to the kitchen after checking nearby tables* “They said they didn’t order these.”

(I go over to double-check on the table.)

Me: “Are you sure you weren’t waiting on anything else? Any sides or wedges?”

Customer: “No, we have everything.”

(The same customer now comes up to me at 8:45 pm, throwing a receipt down in front of me.)

Customer: “Your staff are useless; we didn’t get our wedges.”

Me: “I’m sorry but, just to be sure, you were sitting at [Table #1], right? A member of staff brought your wedges over and you said you didn’t order them, and then I checked to see if you were waiting on anything else and you said you were fine. Did you let anyone know you were still missing items?”

Customer: *begins to walk away*

Me: “Look, sir, I’m sorry this happened. Can I get anything to make up for it? A round of coffees? A refund on your purchase?”

Customer: “No. We don’t want anything… Actually. How about next time we’re here YOU—” *points finger* “–pay for all our meals.”

Me: “Yeah, nah, that’s definitely not going to happen. Look, I’ll talk to all of the staff to make sure this doesn’t happen again and—”

Customer: “Yeah, yeah, I work in customer service. I know you won’t change a thing.”

Me: “Well, not tonight we won’t, but this will ensure mistakes like this don’t happen in the future.”

Customer: *dramatic shrugging*

(Later, he went to another staff member and told her to make sure the duty manager knows he gets his free food next time. The kicker is that he used another member’s card for the purchase and didn’t give us his name or details so we have no idea who he is or when he’ll return.)

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A Confetti Of Spaghetti

, , , , , | Working | October 24, 2019

(My first job is working as a kitchen hand in the same restaurant where my mum is the bar manager. We are seriously short on waitstaff today, so my boss asks me to help out. My first task is to serve a plate of spaghetti bolognese and a pitcher of lemonade to a gentleman eating by himself. As I get to his table I trip, putting the spaghetti in his lap and the pitcher all over him. I am so embarrassed all I can do is apologize before running into the bathroom. The owner of the restaurant comes to find me.)

Boss: “[My Name], are you okay?”

(I’m crying, thinking that not only will I be fired, but so will my mum.)

Me: “I’m so, so sorry. Please don’t fire my mum.”

Boss: *trying not to laugh* “That was the best thing I’ve seen in years. That’s my ex-husband who co-owns the restaurant. I’ve been telling him for months that we need to hire more waitstaff but he reckoned that we could manage. He’s changed his tune now, though.”

Me: “So, am I fired?”

Boss: “Nope, but I think we’ll leave you in the kitchen.”

(Both my mum and I kept our jobs. I ended up completing my chef’s apprenticeship there. I only met the co-owner about a dozen times while I worked there as he lived interstate but he never brought up the incident, and whenever my boss needed to hire more staff she’d just mention what had happened. It also became a “what not to do” when they trained new staff.)

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