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That Much Smoking Must Have Affected Her Reality

, , , , , , | Right | August 12, 2021

I am collecting a child’s seat that I bought on social media. I pay, and as soon as I get it inside the car, the stench of cigarettes hits me.

I put it in the boot so I won’t have to smell it. I go home and scrub the seat clean, soak it in disinfectant, and when it still smells, I clean it again. I really wonder what effect it had on a child’s health when a plastic item stinks so badly.

I set it out to dry, and then I notice a message from the woman.

Woman: “Can you return the item? A friend wants it now.”

Me: “Sorry, I paid for the item and have spent a lot of time cleaning it. I don’t want to return it.”

Woman: “How dare you? I cleaned it this morning. And you have to return it; I want my property back!”

I think about it some more. While it’s clean, a new one isn’t that much more expensive, so I make her an offer.

Me: “You can buy it from me, but I want my time, fuel, and cleaning costs compensated for.”

Woman: “How f****** dare you, you f****** scammer?! I should come round and take it myself!”

Me: “You don’t know where I live, so good luck with that.”

She did contact me again, pleading that her friend had no money, wanting me to drive across the city to drop it off to her friend. I didn’t validate that with a reply.

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It’s Not Nice To Be Confused By Nice

, , , , | Right | August 6, 2021

I connect to the customer service online chat for my Internet provider. I’m having a small problem with my account that’s really just a nuisance, but I hope it can be fixed.

I chat with [Representative #1] for a few minutes. She doesn’t have an answer for me but says she’ll connect me with another department, and after a few minutes of waiting, [Representative #2] comes on the line.

Representative #2: “Hello, my name is [Representative #2].”

Me: “Hi, I’m [My Name].”

Representative #2: “Please give me a moment to review the chat log.”

Me: “Did [Representative #1] fill you in on… Oh, okay. I’ll wait.”

At the end of the chat, [Representative #2] said I was “the first nice customer” she’d worked with her entire shift, and she wanted to reward me for it with a $10 credit toward my next bill. It wasn’t much, but I was grateful anyway, much more for the gesture of kindness in return for kindness than for the monetary value of it. I thanked her enthusiastically and made sure to give her the best score possible on the post-chat survey.

I don’t like to think how mean her other customers must have been for my simple statement of “I’ll wait” to be such a relief.

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Let’s Shelve This Conversation… And Leave It There Forever

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: Alternate_chaos5150 | July 14, 2021

I do woodworking and sell some of my work online. I got this message.

Buyer: “Hey, I saw that shelf on your [Business] page. I am into that rustic style. Is that for sale?”

Me: “No, sorry, that was built for me, but I am always willing to make something if someone is interested.”

Buyer: “That would be awesome! How long would it take?”

Me: “Not sure. I am scheduled to do overtime for a bit, so it will be hard to get to, but it only took a weekend to do that one.”

Buyer: “No rush, just curious. So, about a price?”

Me: “Material prices are high right now, so we’re looking at about $380 for just the wood if you want it built exactly the same as the one I have. Mine is like four feet tall and six feet long.”

Buyer: “Really? $380?”

Me: “I just price wood from [Home Improvement Store #1] or [Home Improvement Store #2]. The $380 doesn’t include stain, nails, screws, etc. The things needed for assembly would be extra.”

Buyer: “Really, extra on top of the $380? Don’t you already have that stuff for assembly?”

Me: “I do but I can’t just give it away. That stuff costs me money. There would also be a cost for me assembling the shelf.”

Buyer: “You’re trying to rip me off.”

Me: “No, I am not. You contacted me about a shelf.”

Buyer: “So how much?”

Me: “$380 for wood, about 25% more for assembly materials, plus a fee to assemble it.”

Buyer: “Okay, so what does all that add up to?”

Me: “I’m going to guess $650ish.”

Buyer: “No way. I can get someone else to do it cheaper.”

Me: “Okay, well, get someone else to do it cheaper.”

Buyer: “Why so much?”

Me: “I already explained why. I will also only deliver as far as [Town #1] before it will start to cost more.”

Buyer: “I’m in [Town #2].”

Me: “I know that but I’m not burning up a bunch of gas to deliver this.”

Buyer: “I see people advertising stuff on [Website] all the time cheaper than this.”

Me: “Maybe they don’t get their materials the same place I do. I don’t know how people price their stuff. But again, you contacted me. If you don’t want to do business, that’s cool with me.”

Buyer: “I think you’re a ripoff.”

Me: “That’s your opinion. Have a good day.”

Buyer: “That’s it? You’re done?”

Me: “I’m done. I’m out. I do this as a hobby and make a little money from it. I don’t want a hassle from it.”

Buyer: “It’s just that the cost is too high.”

Me: “It’s cool. Find someone else to build it. Even send them pics of mine if you like.”

Buyer: “How much for the waving flag?”

Me: “$100.”

Buyer: “For just a flag?”

Me: “There is a lot of work that goes into those, and again, the price of wood isn’t cheap.”

Buyer: “Whatever. $400.”

Me: “$400?”

Buyer: “The shelf. I’ll give you $400.”

Me: “I can do a smaller, cheaper version, but not $400. That would be basically doing it for cost or possibly even losing money.”

Buyer: “It’s a gift, though.”

Me: “I’m not in a gift-giving mood.”

Buyer: “You’re an a**.”

Me: “Have a good day.”

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The Art Of Being A Complete A**hole

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: thisanonissocool | July 12, 2021

I just launched my art page on Facebook, and this was my first random message.

Stranger: “Hello.”

Me: “Hello! Are you interested in a commission?”

Stranger: “Do you do meditation sessions or know anyone that does? I have really bad anxiety.”

I don’t immediately respond.

Stranger: “F*** you, then. I hope you get [health crisis illness] and die a slow miserable death.”

Me: “Wow. I was trying to get a link for my friend’s meditation page. Thanks again for messaging. Have a wonderful day.”

Stranger: “F*** you. You’re full of s***. You lying f***er. Otherwise, you would’ve sent it by now. You’re a f****** lying scumbag. I really hope you do get it. I hope your life gets destroyed by it like thousands of other people. *Spits on you.* F*** you, and block me. I don’t wanna see garbage on my newsfeed.”

Me: “I’m sorry for not being able to help within ten minutes. I’m not a crisis line; please don’t treat me as such. I am an artist that does art commissions.”

Stranger: “Yeah, I know, you f****** idiot.”

Me: “Am I really an idiot, though? You messaged an ART page looking for guided meditation.”

Stranger: “Yeah, doesn’t hurt to ask. Someone could know anyone, or not, and that’s okay. You don’t have to be a f****** rude f****** p***y chicken s*** p***y a**hole and ignore my question.”

And then they blocked me.

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Selective Reading

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: gestella | July 9, 2021

I’m selling a used car online for £395. My listing includes information about the car and says, “No offers.”

Potential Buyer: “£100 cash.”

Me: “Yeah, mate.”

Potential Buyer: “Where are you located?”

Me: “[Town #1].”

Potential Buyer: “???”

Me: “???”

Potential Buyer: “Says [Town #2]?”

Me: “Also says, ‘No offers,’ but you chose to ignore that.”

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