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Relationships, romance, and break-ups!

Secrets Always Come Out Eventually

, , , , | Romantic | February 28, 2022

When I was a kid, my dad and I were at Thanksgiving dinner with my dad’s girlfriend and her family.

Me: *Proudly* “Dad, both of your girlfriends have the same first name!”

Dad: “Oh, you’re just a little kid; you don’t know what you’re talking about!”

But I “reminded” him of [Girlfriend #2]’s full name. She happened to be a coworker of [Girlfriend #1]’s sister, so there was no doubting that she was a real person.

Should’ve Had Reservations About This Reservation

, , , , | Romantic | CREDIT: americanslang59 | February 25, 2022

I am the front-of-house manager at a trendy restaurant. It isn’t “upscale” but it’s a local restaurant that receives incredibly good reviews from national media. It’s the type of place you take a date to impress them. Part of this is due to the food; part is due to the service.

On a somewhat slow Saturday night at 7:00 pm, I answer our phone.

Customer: “I’d like to make a reservation for 8:00 pm.”

Me: “Sure.”

Customer: “Can you help me with something?”

Me: “What do you need, sir?”

Customer: “I need to make the night extra special. Can you set the table up with flowers?”

Me: “That’s not a problem. We have fresh flowers delivered for décor every few days so I can make a bouquet for you.”

Customer: “Do you have greeting cards?”

No? But it is a slower night, and we have a market next door where I could send a server to grab a card.

Me: “What would you like it to say, sir?”

I struggle to keep up with his rambling, but the gist is about how much he loves this woman.

By this point, I’m thinking, “Holy s***. This guy is proposing.” I tell some of our servers and everybody is stoked because none of us have ever seen a proposal before. We go all-out on this table.

Eight o’clock rolls around and there’s no sign of this couple.

Eight-fifteen comes and a couple walks in the door. I think it’s them, but I’m not sure. The guy looks incredibly nervous; he’s sweating bullets. The woman seems very tired and lethargic. Then, the guy asks for a table for two. The server walks him to a table. He sees the table with flowers and asks to sit at that table. The server tells him it is for a reservation, and he says, “Yeah, that was me.” Weird start, but okay. We seat them there.

The woman opens the card and reads it. She doesn’t seem that interested; she just sets it to the side. Every employee is watching this table from the corner of their eyes, waiting for something to happen. But they are silent. The only words spoken are their drink orders to the server.

After their drinks come, they order some food and sit in more agonizing silence.

Then, the woman turns to the guy.

Woman: “Do you think this is going to change anything?”

And the fighting started. Once the shouting began, it became clear that this wasn’t a proposal. The guy had cheated on her and was trying to win her back.

The woman stormed out of the restaurant. The guy started crying, chased her, and didn’t come back.

She Ate Both Starters, Didn’t She?

, , , , | Romantic | February 21, 2022

I meet a woman at a restaurant for a second date. It’s early days and things are still nervous but exciting.

We talk for a bit and then order starters. They take a long time to come and then arrive just as I stand up to use the bathroom. I apologise and tell my date that I will be right back.

After a very short queue, I return to find the table being cleared of food.

Me: “What happened to the starters?”

Woman: “Oh, err, yes, I… I had mine, but yours looked terrible so I asked them to take it back.”

Me: “Err, okay.”

Woman: “Don’t worry; they said the mains wouldn’t be long.”

We talk some more until the mains arrive. Mine is delicious, but she doesn’t like hers. She pouts until I offer to share mine. She takes near half!

Still hungry, I order a dessert.

Woman: “Oh, that was lovely. What did you have again? Can I try it?”

Me: “Sorry, mine was so good that I finished it.”

I made sure of it.

Woman: *Abruptly* “Okay, shall we get the bill? I have work in the morning.”

Me: “Sure.”

She waits until the bill arrives.

Woman: “Thank you for treating me.”

Oh, I see.

Me: “Oh, it was a treat for me, too. Thanks for offering to pay half.”

Woman: “But I didn’t.”

Me: “We will split the bill, thanks.”

There was no third date. Thankfully.

This Is A Bigotry-Free Zone

, , , , , | Romantic | February 14, 2022

I happened to witness this exchange from a seat fairly close to the entrance of a restaurant. Several of the employees are wearing rainbow pins somewhere on their person, including an employee having a conversation at the front counter with a man in a suit.

A man and a woman step into the restaurant. The man sees the gay employee’s pin, looks around the restaurant, and then turns to the suited man, who speaks up before the newcomer can say a word.

Worker: “If you say a single word against my employees, I will bodily throw you from the restaurant.”

The newcomer stutters for a moment, turns around in a huff, and marches out of the restaurant. The woman looks between him and the man in a suit for a moment before approaching the counter.

Woman: “Well, that was the shortest first date I’ve ever been on. Table for one, please.”

He Needs A Nanny, Not A Girlfriend

, , , , , , | Romantic | January 25, 2022



I got food poisoning in college. My boyfriend offered his apartment to rest during the day; it was more comfortable and private than my dorm, he had classes all day, and his roommate was already gone for winter break. He came back in the evening while I was asleep.

Boyfriend: “[My Name]?”

Me: “Yeah?”

Boyfriend: “How are you feeling?”

He slipped his hand up my shirt.

Me: “No.”

I pushed his hand away.

Boyfriend: *Disgusted sound* “Did you sleep all day?”

Me: “Uh, mostly.”

Boyfriend: “I know you’re sick, but you could still, like, load the dishwasher or make dinner or something. My mom always had the house clean, even when she was sick.”

He tried again for my shirt.

Boyfriend: “I can make you feel better.”

Me: “I came over because I’m sick, not because you need a housekeeper or a mom. Stop touching me. I’m serious.”

I slapped his hand and he withdrew.

Boyfriend: “You really didn’t do anything all day?”

Me: *Sarcastic tone* “Well, I threw up a couple of times.”

Boyfriend: “When my mom was sick, she still took care of me and my dad!”

I started to stand up.

Boyfriend: “What are you doing?”

Me: “I’m going back to my room.”

Boyfriend: “But—”

Me: “I can’t talk to you right now. I’m sick. I’m angry. I have to go. I’ll call you later.”

I called him the next day but he rejected the calls. Then, I found a letter taped to my door saying we should no longer see each other because his mother didn’t like me. My friends and I referred to him as “Oedipus” for a long time.