Posting A New Romance Update

, , , , | Romantic | June 5, 2017

Boyfriend: *whispering in my ear* “I love you with all of my heart.”

Me: “I love you with all of my heart, too.”

Boyfriend: “You know why I whispered it?”

Me: “No, why?”

Boyfriend: “Because I wanted to tell the whole world and you’re my world.”

Me: *playfully hits him in the arm* “You’re so sappy, it’s sweet.”

Boyfriend: *ruining the moment* “I found it on Facebook.”

Getting Shirty Because You’re Cursed

, , , , | Romantic | June 4, 2017

(My boyfriend and I are in a shop looking at the menswear. He spots some shirts he likes and decides to try them on. As he puts the first one on, the music playing on the speakers suddenly turns a bit static, as if a CD had been scratched. My boyfriend decides to try on the second shirt, so he takes off the first one – and the music goes back to normal.)

Me: “That’s got to be a funny coincidence.”

Boyfriend: “I’m going to test this theory.”

(He puts the second shirt on and the music continues as normal.)

Me: “Shame.”

(However, with the third shirt, the music once again has problems. We laugh about this and he buys all the shirts he tries on. Two days later we are in another shop. I have spotted a pair of jeans I like and am just heading back to the till when suddenly, all the power goes out throughout the shopping centre.)

Me: *jokingly* “Were you trying on another shirt?”

Boyfriend: “…yes.”

Me: *laughing* “You! Are! Cursed!”

Living With A Complex Kitty

, , , , , | Romantic | June 3, 2017

(I was living with my then-boyfriend’s family. They have three cats. One of them is tiny; even though she’s a 16-year old-cat there are many five-year-old cats that are bigger. However, my boyfriend jokingly calls her fatty and fatso and other weight related names because she will devour anything edible in sight. Another odd quirk about her is when she’s being petted she will open her mouth and pretty much gag herself on the fingers of whoever is petting her. All of this is said in jest:)

Me: *after watching the older cat gag on my then boyfriend’s fingers again* “You know, maybe she’s trying to make herself sick.”

Boyfriend: “What? Like bulimia?”

Me: “Yeah, you’re always calling her fat; maybe she’s developed a complex. She gorges herself on her and the other cat’s food, and the chicken, and the ham, and whatever else that has been foolishly unattended, then feels bad and tries to vomit.”

Boyfriend: *laughing* “Are you saying I’ve given her an eating complex?”

Me: “Yes.”

You’ll Get The Meaning In Your Dreams

, , , | Romantic | June 2, 2017

Husband: “Hey, [My Name]. I was reading about dream interpretation.”

Me: “Oh, cool.”

Husband: “I looked up a dream I had last night on [Dream Website] and it’s pretty accurate. Can I try yours?”

Me: “I don’t think you will be able to.”

Husband: “Did you forget your dream?”

Me: “No, but it’s probably just a weird, meaningless dream.”

Husband: “Tell me anyway. It’s probably on there.”

Me: “Uh…okay. Last night I had a dream where I turned on the car radio and it was Barney the dinosaur singing to the tune of ‘If you’re happy and you know it’, ‘The Cheeto in the middle will not bark; the Cheeto in the middle will not bark’ and saying ‘Yeah, it’s Tuesday!’”

Husband: “Yeah… that’s not on here.”

A Naked Realization

, , , | Romantic | June 2, 2017

(My husband and I have been married about six months. He comes into the bedroom while I’m changing my clothes, immediately covers his eyes, and turns around.)

Me: “What are you doing that for?”

Husband: *starts laughing* “Oops… for a minute I forgot that we’re married and I’m allowed to see you naked.”

Page 5/1,387First...34567...Last