Nothing’s Heavier Than The Weight Of Grandma’s Expectations

, , , , , , , | Related | May 29, 2021

My boyfriend and I have just gotten engaged. We have told our immediate family, and now my fiancé is calling his grandmother. I have met her twice, and she seemed nice but a bit odd. 

Fiancé: “[My Name] and I are engaged!”

Grandma: *Very long pause* “Well, you both need to lay off the sugar.”

My fiancé is overweight but he’s the least overweight member of his family.

Fiancé: “Yes, Grandma. We are thinking of June of next year for the wedding, so fourteen months from now. That way there’s—”

Grandma: “Tell that girl to lay off the sugar or she’ll get the beetus like you!”

My fiancé was recently diagnosed as type-two diabetic. I have been type-one diabetic for decades.

Fiancé: “Okay, Grandma. Is [Cousin] at your house? Can you hand the phone to him if he is?”

Grandma: “If you lay off the sugar now, you might look halfway okay by the wedding if it’s in two months.”

Fiancé: “It’s June of next year, not this June.”

Grandma: “I’ll let my pastor know to expect your call. He’s pretty busy this June, though.”

Fiancé: “It’s in a year, Grandma, at our church.”

His grandmother then hung up the phone. Apparently, she then called my fiancé’s sister to complain about how overweight both of us are and how it would ruin wedding pictures. Since my fiancé’s sister was 200 pounds overweight at the time, she was less than sympathetic!

1 Thumbs
345

Engaged-Aged

, , , , | Right | May 25, 2021

I’m twenty-seven and just got engaged. I’m serving a woman on the till. She starts laughing.

Me: “What’s so funny?”

Customer: “I’m so sorry. For a minute, I thought you were wearing an engagement ring.”

Me: “I am; I just got engaged to my boyfriend.”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me; that’s impossible! You’re no more than fourteen. This Is just a little weekend job for you!”

It was the middle of a weekday, so if I had been fourteen, I would’ve been skipping school!

1 Thumbs
306

Morning Sickness For Everyone!

, , , , , | Romantic | January 23, 2021

My fiancée and I both have a weird sense of humor. It’s what drew us to each other. One night, we’re both lying in bed, about to go to sleep, when she farts under the covers. I’m usually the one that has the most foul-smelling farts in this relationship, but since she got pregnant she’s been trying to take first place.

Fiancée: “Oh, wow, I’m so sorry!”

Me: “It’s fine. You know how mine usually are.”

She quickly lifts her covers.

Fiancée: “Oh, wow. No, babe, this one is terrible!”

I get a whiff of hers, and yeah, it’s pretty bad. So I let one go myself, and like normal, it’s pretty bad.

Me: “Oh, no, I got one that’s worse.”

Fiancée: “No, I win. You know why? It’s two versus one.”

I love this woman.

1 Thumbs
294

Kindness In Bloom, Part 2

, , , , , , | Right | January 11, 2021

I used to work in a very established small hair salon in a fancier part of town. We had quite a few older women who would come in every week to get their hair set, and they had been doing so since time immemorial.

After working there for a few years, I got engaged to my now-husband. I didn’t make a great song and dance about it, but I did wear my new ring to work and these ladies sure did notice!

About an hour after the first client of the day came in, the flowers started arriving! When I was distracted, one of the ladies had made a quick call, and the word had spread very quickly. I ended up with so many flowers I couldn’t take them all home that day!

Related:
Kindness In Bloom


This story is part of our Feel Good roundup for January 2021!

Read the next Feel Good roundup for January 2021 story!

Read the Feel Good roundup for January 2021!

1 Thumbs
756

Sometimes Love Goes With Logic

, , , , , , , | Working | September 22, 2020

I got engaged in college, after dating my fiancé for a few years. I know that seems young to a lot of people, and for some people, it is too young. Not surprisingly, a few people expressed surprise that we were planning to get married at our age. Two funny reactions came from military officers; I was in ROTC, and as the wedding date was before graduation and commissioning, I thought I should tell the officers in charge of our unit.

The first reaction was from a hard-nosed, very strict, imposing, and somewhat intimidating captain. He broke out in a huge grin and exclaimed, “Congra— Wait, how long have you known him? Longer than a couple of weeks, right?” I reassured the captain that we’d been dating for a few years and his smile returned. “Then I’ll stick with my first instinct: congratulations!”

But a major seemed disappointed and asked me why I wanted to get married so young. She said, “Why are do want to settle down with your fiance right now? Don’t you want to get out there and explore, go see the world?”

“Of course,” I said. “With him.”

She blinked a few times before saying, “That’s… a really good answer. I’ve never thought of it that way before.”

We’re about to have our fifteenth wedding anniversary this summer.

1 Thumbs
714