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I Believe In Choice… As Long As I Agree With Your Choice

, , , , , , | Working | May 5, 2022

Two of my coworkers are militantly anti-vaxx. This is pre-[health crisis]. One of them has two adult children my age and grandkids. She is all about freedom of choice when it comes to medical issues. One day, she comes into work in a bad mood. I ask what’s wrong.

Coworker #1: “[Adult Daughter] and [Her Husband] have decided to vaccinate their kids!”

Me: “Oh, good for her!”

[Coworker #1] gives me a dirty look.

Me: “What? You know my thoughts on vaccines.”

She mumbles something about her grandkids being poisoned.

Me: “Aren’t you big on freedom of choice?”

Coworker #1: “Not when it’s the wrong choice!”

Me: “Wow.”

Coworker #1: “[Annoying Celebrity] says vaccines cause autism!”

Me: “Did your parents vaccinate you?”

Coworker #1: “That’s not the point!”

She stomped off to commiserate with [Coworker #2]. I no longer work at that job, so I’m not sure how all that turned out, but I do know she’s still anti-vaxx. A video popped up on my newsfeed of her trying to stick magnets to other coworkers who got the [health crisis] vaccine!

Your Tip Makes No Cents

, , , , | Right | April 23, 2022

I was delivering for a local pizza store.

Customer: “I used to deliver for [Other Pizza Store] in [Other City], and I know how important tips are to drivers. You should work hard, and it will all be worth it at the end of the day.”

She proceeded to tip me eleven cents.

So Much For Inclusivity

, , , , , , | Friendly | April 8, 2022

I’m in the park and I overhear a heated conversation between two people about people being transgender.

Woman #1: “There’s no official test for it! It doesn’t exist!”

Woman #2: “There were no official tests for oxygen until 1774. By your logic, that would mean there was no such thing as oxygen prior to then!”

Woman #1: “That’s not what I meant!”

Woman #2: “Fine! The test for determining someone’s sexuality is, ‘Who do you find sexually attractive? Men, women, everyone, nobody?’ Right?”

Woman #1: “Well, yes.”

Woman #2: “And that’s perfectly valid, right?”

Woman #1: “Yes.”

Woman #2: “So then the test for being transgender — ‘Are you more comfortable presenting as the gender you were assigned at birth or a different gender to the one you were assigned as?’ — is valid as a test.”

Woman #1: “No!”

Woman #2: “Then it’s not fine for the other one to be decided by one’s own opinion, either!”

Woman #1: “That’s not—”

Woman #2: “You are part of the LGBTQ+ community; you should respect all letters that are included.”

You Want To Lecture ME About Being On Time?!

, , , , , , , | Working | April 1, 2022

In 2013, I started my first “real job” as a security guard for an industrial storage facility in Central Oahu. At the time I had a coworker who was habitually late to work. This was a massive problem before I had been hired and it continued to be a massive problem while we worked together.

The nature of our site meant that there needed to be a guard twenty-four-seven, so if she was late, the guard working the shift prior to hers would be forced to stay until she arrived. In my first month, I was held back more than sixteen times for anywhere from thirty minutes to three hours due to her tardiness. She never called to say where she was, why she was late, or when she would be in, and it was always a gamble as to what time I would actually get off work.

Within the next month of working, my sixteen-year-old car decided that having an alternator was no longer on its list of priorities, and while I was waiting on getting paid to buy a replacement part, I was fortunate enough to have my father to take me to work. I maintained my standard of not being late for work until the second week when there was a car accident on the freeway and we got stuck.

Three minutes after my shift was supposed to start, [Coworker] called me to ask me where I was.

Me: “It appears there was a bad accident on the [Freeway]. We are trying to push to [Valley] to get off and continue to the site on surface streets.”

[Coworker] immediately went off.

Coworker: “You need to be on time! It’s incredibly important that you’re here to relieve your coworkers! It’s about work ethic. You have a responsibility to be at work not only on time but early for the pass-down of information between shifts!”

I absolutely lost it.

I knocked her down several dozen pegs and told her in no uncertain terms that she, of all people, did not belong talking to anyone about being on time. I outlined all of the times she had been late and how late she had been. I pointed out the fact that I had never said a thing to her about it and asked her how she could have the balls to speak to someone that she had been screwing over since day one about “responsibilities”.

She didn’t have a response. Apparently, prior to my arrival, the other guards had just taken this kind of thing in stride. In her pause, I continued, telling her that she was not a supervisor or an assistant supervisor and that she did not belong calling me and trying to level corrective actions, especially on my personal phone.

She was pissed and ended up hanging up on me after sputtering some nonsense about “tact” and “manners”.

By the time I got to work, she had left, leaving the supervisor at the time manning the guard shack. The supervisor asked me what in the world had happened as [Coworker] had asked him to handle it for her and I told him straight up, verbatim, the entire conversation.

The supervisor laughed. He agreed with me on every point and was actually happy that someone other than him had finally put their foot down with her.

[Coworker] didn’t last much longer past that day. She ended up getting eliminated when Hawaii enacted the Guard Card later that year as she did not possess the required high school diploma or GED to qualify for the license.

Unfortunately, she was replaced by the biggest problem to ever set foot on that property, but that’s a story for another time.

Only I Am Allowed To Have Opinions!

, , , , , , , | Friendly | March 9, 2022

I am sitting with a good friend over lattes and pastries. She’s telling me about her recent decision to largely give up eating meat, becoming a pescatarian. She’s doing it for ethical and personal reasons. Then, she complains about a friend of hers.

Friend #1: “When I told [Friend #2], her first reaction was to complain that she wouldn’t have anyone to share a burger with! She is so selfish. She doesn’t understand that this is something I have to do. Everything is always about her! Anyway, I told her I would still eat veggie burgers, so it doesn’t have to change anything. Then she starts arguing that the diet is unhealthy. I don’t think she believes that; she just doesn’t want anything to change.”

Me: “Yes, well, she can be quite selfish at times, and with dairy, eggs, and fish, I don’t think you will suffer any problems.”

A couple of months later, I also decide to change my diet. I would not tell her, but as we often meet in the morning, she’s going to notice.

Me: “So, I have decided to try intermittent fasting. I won’t be eating anything until late in the day, at least for the next month.”

Friend #1: “But who am I going to have coffee with?”

Me: “Me! I will still have coffee, but it will be black and obviously no patisserie.”

Friend #1: “Why are you doing this?”

Me: “For my health. My BMI puts me just into the obese category, and my waist is larger than it’s been all my life. Also, I see that my blood sugar is gradually increasing; I want to turn things around before I am diagnosed as prediabetic. I’ve lost and then regained weight before. I need to do something different.”

[Friend #1] has a similar figure to mine.

Friend #1: “Your weight is normal! You’re fine. And everyone’s blood sugar rises as they age. Eating like this is going to destroy your metabolism.”

I just rolled my eyes internally.