Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

Shockingly Dismissive

, , , , , | Related | October 9, 2021

When I was twelve, my family moved to a new house. A few weeks in, I reached for the bathroom light switch and received a mild electric shock. My dad is a licensed electrician, so my mum told me to let him know when he came back from work that night.

Me: “Dad, I got an electric shock from the bathroom switch.”

Dad: “How many times have I told you not to touch the switch with wet hands?!”

Me: “No, my hands were dry.”

Dad: “Then you wouldn’t have gotten a shock.”

Me: “But I did; the switch must be faulty.”

Dad: “You never dry your hands properly. They must have been damp when you touched it.”

Over the next twenty-two years, I continued to receive random shocks from the same switch, as did the rest of my family members, including my mother. His response was always dismissive. We couldn’t bring in a third-party electrician as he considered it a waste of money, not to mention doubting his ability. I took to leaving a wooden pencil near the bathroom door so I could use it to turn on the switch.

A few days ago, I noticed that there was a piece of duct tape over the light switch. I asked my mother about it.

Mom: “Oh, that. Dad put the tape there to mark the switch and will change it later.”

Me: “He’s changing it?”

Mom: “Yeah, he got an electric shock when he touched it.”

Me: *Sarcastically* “His hands must have been wet.”

Mom: *Not getting my sarcasm* “No, the switch is faulty; that’s why he’s changing it.”

Me: “Didn’t we tell him this over the past twenty-two years? He always said that he had never gotten a shock, so there couldn’t be anything wrong with it.”

I can only say that it’s a good thing that it was a low-voltage shock all those times.

Better A Diesel Dan Than A Hypocritical Henry

, , , , , | Working | September 24, 2021

Some years ago, a guy I worked with was a vanpool driver, and the vans from that agency were all diesel for fuel efficiency and durability.

This driver went out to lunch and drove a load full of people in the van; this is accepted practice. On the way back, he decided to stop for fuel, rather than do it on the way home… only he goofed and filled it with gasoline! It died just as they got back to the plant, and he realized what he’d done basically immediately.

Everybody else went back to work while he dealt with getting a loaner from the agency and getting the dead van towed in for repair. He wound up being referred to as “Diesel Dan” for quite a while.

One time, he was ranting about someone else’s mistake — quite unfairly — and after a bit, I observed:

Me: “If you never make mistakes, you’re not doing anything.” 

When that didn’t get the point across, I added:

Me: “Everybody makes mistakes… right, Diesel Dan?”

He shut up so fast I swear I heard the “clop” as he closed his mouth.

To Be Fair, They’re Very Different Kinds Of Needles

, , , , | Healthy | September 23, 2021

In the early 2000s, while waiting for my doctor’s appointment, I witnessed this incident.

Another patient, a woman in her twenties, came out from the back exam area with a nurse. The patient was wearing a common and trendy outfit of low-rise sweatpants and a crop tank top.

The nurse handed the patient her paperwork.

Nurse: “You need to make a follow-up appointment for [number] weeks. The receptionist can help you if you want to do it now.”

As she grabbed her paperwork, the patient responded:

Patient: “Ugh! Do I have to? I hate needles.”

The patient then walked quickly out of the office. As she did so, I could see that among the small collection of tattoos she had was a trendy one on her tailbone. The nurse looked bemused but unsurprised and returned to the back. I managed to mind my manners and not laugh or giggle.

Open Mouth, Insert Anesthetized Foot

, , , , , , | Healthy | September 17, 2021

I have suffered two bad ingrown toenails, one on each big toe. The first was handled by my general practitioner with general anesthesia. I didn’t know better at the time, but this was serious overkill. I got the whole hospital gown and recovery room treatment. When my other toe needed the same treatment, I went to a podiatrist. I told him the story of my first toe.

Podiatrist: “Well, that’s a GP for you; they don’t know how to anesthetize a toe. Well, let’s get you all fixed up.”

At that point, he zaps my toe and we wait a bit. He starts to touch my toe with the scalpel.

Me: “Um, I can feel that.”

Podiatrist: “What? That should be completely numb by now.”

Wonderful. It turns out that I’m one of the very few people whose nerve for the tip of their toe grows on the opposite side of the toe. He got me properly numbed, but I still laugh at the irony of him fussing that my previous doctor couldn’t properly numb my toe.

Those Card Fees Must Be Hellish

, , , , , | Right | August 30, 2021

Me: “All right, ma’am, I can take your card or cash whenever you’re ready. If you’re going to pay with debit, just hit the blue button first.”

Customer: “I would never use a debit card! They are the devil’s plastic! I’ve never carried one and I never will!”

The customer goes on a long, repetitive rant about the “devil’s plastic” and how debit cards ruin lives.

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, will you be paying with cash today?”

Customer: “No, you idiot! I have a credit card!”