Interview To A Kill

, , , , , | Working | April 18, 2018

(I am conducting interviews for new employees at the small shop where I am manager. I have one interview scheduled towards the end of the day. He has not arrived yet, but I get a call.)

Interviewee: “Hey, I had a family emergency and I’m running late. Can we push the interview back two hours?”

Me: “We close in a half hour, and I have plans for later tonight. However, I can reschedule for later this week or next week.”

Interviewee: “No, that won’t work. Just stay after close.”

Me: “I told you, I’m unable to do that. We will have to reschedule for another day.”

Interviewee: “No, I can’t do that. Come on; work with me. I need to do this interview today.”

Me: “No, and I don’t think we need to continue.”

Interviewee: *aggressively* “But I need to do this interview today!

Me: “I’m hanging up now. Good luck on your job search.”

(After work, I go to a movie with friends. I get back to my apartment complex to find a security guard waiting for me.)

Security: “Are you okay? We need you to contact the police right away.”

(I spent the remainder of the night on the phone with police. It turns out the interviewee had tracked down my address through a pizza place that had my information on file from previous deliveries. He managed to get past the front door, but security caught him lurking around and turned him over to police. Apparently, he told them he was going to show up at my door to make me interview him, as a way to impress me. Understandably, I didn’t hire him. I also complained to the pizza place, where they now have a policy to keep personal addresses from being shared!)

The Family That Eats Together Isn’t Seated Together

, , , , , | Working | April 17, 2018

(My kids and I are going out to eat with family friends. I have my two kids, and my friend and her husband have their two kids. We enter a restaurant and wait for someone to seat us.)

Host: “Have you been helped yet?” *he’s been there, talking to the only other host and hostess since before we walked in*

Me: “Not yet. There are seven of us: three adults, four kids.”

Host: *looking at his chart* “Um… Okay… Do you all have to sit together?”

Me: *thinking I didn’t hear him right* “Sorry, what?”

Host: “Do you all want to sit together?”

Me: “Uh, yeah.”

(The host says he’ll be back and will check. He comes back, doesn’t pick up any menus, and seats us at a table. When the server arrives she has to go get us menus, silverware, and everything.)

My Friend: *turns to me* “Next time we should say, ‘Yeah, great! We didn’t know you offered childcare here, too! Go ahead and put the four kids together; we adults will sit in the bar.’”

Unfiltered Story #108621

, | Unfiltered | April 8, 2018

(I am a sales team member working the electronics department at a local toy store. A customer approaches my desk)

Me: Hi there, do you need some help?

Woman: Yeah, I need some help over by the blackboards.

(The blackboards are pretty far away from the electronics department, and since it isnt my section, I am not supposed to be over there.)

Me: Oh, okay. I’ll radio someone for you.

(I pick up a walkie-talkie.)

Me: (into the walkie) Hey, a guest needs some help over by the blackboards. (to the woman) Okay, someone should be heading over there now!

(The woman gives me a look. Rather than walking back to the blackboards, she walks about two feet away and stands by a rack of candy, where she begins staring at me. I’m a bit confused by this but I think nothing of it and strike up a conversation with a coworker. A couple minutes later the woman storms back over.)


Me: (startled and confused) …Ma’am, blackboards are not my section. I can’t leave my department. I radioed for someone to help you…

(My coworker ended up going with her, which he technically wasn’t supposed to do, to keep her from making a scene. I later had the pleasure of checking this woman out; she wandered off mid-transaction to go get a dollhouse she wanted to buy and came back ten minutes later empty handed. Some people…)

Unfiltered Story #108327

, , , | Unfiltered | April 6, 2018

(I was selling my hand-made (by me) bead jewelry at a craft show recently. A woman asked the price of a pair of earrings.)

Me: “These are $10.”

Woman: “But those are just regular costume, right?”

Me, in my head: No, lady, for $10, they’re solid gold.

Turn Up For The Books

, , , , | Related | April 2, 2018

(As kids, my brother and I were taught that if we got separated from our parents, we were to stay where we were so that when our parents started looking for us, they could find us more easily. One day at the mall, my brother — about three or four years old at the time — gets separated from the rest of us. After retracing his steps, my dad finally finds my brother… at the bookstore that we haven’t been to today.)

Dad: “What are you doing here? I thought I told you to stay in one place, not go wandering!”

Brother: “I did stay in one place. I came here so I could read while I waited for you.”

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