Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered
Relationships, romance, and break-ups!

That Sounds Great For Business

, , , , , , | Romantic Working | April 22, 2022

When I was in high school, I worked at a pool store selling pools, spas, and chemicals. It was owned by a married couple that, to put it nicely, needed couples therapy. They would fight frequently and both had a temper.

One day, they were both at the store in the back warehouse screaming at one another about something or other. In walked a regular customer. This was one of the customers that would come in from time to time just to talk to one of the owners, and not about actual pool-related topics.

I greeted the regular with the usual spiel.

Me: “Hello, how are you today?”

Regular: “I need to talk to [Owner].”

I was kind of panicking, and I resorted to the classic telemarketer-on-the-phone lie.

Me: “I’m sorry, but [Owner] isn’t here right now.”

Regular: “I know he’s here; his truck is out front.”

Now I figured there was no other way of handling this with grace. I put my finger up to my mouth in a shushing motion.

Regular: “What do you mean?”

I kept my finger to my mouth and actually verbally said, “Shuuuush.” The regular customer stopped talking for a moment and heard them screaming at each other from the back warehouse.

Regular: “Oh.”

Me: *Lowering my finger* “Yeah. You’re welcome to go interrupt them if you like, but I’m not paid enough for that.” *Shrugs and chuckles awkwardly*

Regular: “I think I’ll just come back later.”

Me: “Sounds good!”

Why Don’t We Just Skip To The End Of Part C?

, , , | Romantic | April 22, 2022

My husband is the kind of person who will come home with something that includes instructions — a toy, an appliance, an electric tool, anything — open up the box, pull out the manual, and immediately throw it over his shoulder before trying to make sense of the purchase with nothing but his intuition.

I’ve gotten into the habit of collecting the discarded instructions, taking a seat in the room, and reading through them as he starts working on it himself, watching as he struggles to make use of it, and keeping track of the progress through the manual to match how far he’s made it after much trial and error.

Husband: “Why do they make these things so difficult?”

Outcome A, with about 3% likelihood: he renders his new purchase completely unusable by breaking an important part or doing something in the wrong order, requiring him to get a new one at a later date. In the latter case, if I see it happening in time, I’ll try to stop him.

Outcome B, with about 25% likelihood: he manages to make it work. It takes a lot longer than it SHOULD, but he gets there.

Outcome C, the rest of the time: he puts his new purchase down before he ruins anything, and says:

Husband: “Guess I’m going to have to read the manual.”

Whereupon I will hand him the manual, point out where he’s gotten so far, and watch him progress much more smoothly.

Don’t Mix Love, Work, And Drugs

, , , , , , , | Romantic Working | April 15, 2022

My supervisor was sleeping with an associate. Eventually, as most work shenanigans do, theirs burned out and got ugly. [Associate] was at the register next to mine with several people in line waiting to check out when [Supervisor] approached. He stepped between the woman finishing her transaction and the one waiting to start. When the first woman left, [Supervisor] handed [Associate] a piece of paper.

Associate: “What?” *Looks at the paper* “A drug test?!”

Supervisor: *Smiling* “All employees agree to remain drug-free throughout employment. Drug tests may be performed at any time for any reason.”

Associate: “Are you serious?”

Supervisor: “I scheduled you an appointment at [Nearby Clinic] in twenty minutes.”

[Associate] left, took her drug test… and did not come back. [Supervisor] left at the end of his shift and also did not come back. Rumor has it that before [Associate] left for her test, she told Human Resources that [Supervisor] had sold her cocaine and marijuana at a discount for sleeping with him and allowing him to steal things when he went through her register. Security reviewed the tapes and he was consequently fired.

Ain’t Dating Just The Best?

, , , , | Romantic | April 15, 2022

I hook up with a guy via [Social Media Platform] and chat with him for a couple of weeks. We have some mutual friends, and he seems nice. We end up flirting over the chat and I suggest meeting up. But since he lives a two-hour train ride away, I ask if it’s a possibility to stay the night so I won’t have to do a four-hour round trip on the same day. He says yes.

I go and meet him. We go this his apartment and it’s literally the biggest mess I’ve ever seen. There’s an extra layer of carpet on the floor completely comprised of old, smelly socks, there’s wet cat food scattered everywhere, and his bathroom is littered with loose hair — he’s a long-haired dude — and at least twenty empty bottles of shampoo. (He admitted to being too lazy to throw them out.)

While he was pleasant and talkative in chat, he is very silent and closed-off in person. We end up strolling through town where he does nothing but complain about every person he sees. He claims it’s too crowded for him, so we end up back at the apartment to watch a movie. During this, he also admits:

Guy: “I have no idea what to do when I have people around.”

We venture into town again in the evening after dinner, and now it’s quieter. We get back to the apartment at 11:00 pm. At this point, I’m half-contemplating taking the last train back home anyway… when he discovers that he left his keys inside and we are now locked out.

Cue a rant from him.

Guy: “This is all your fault! You led me out of my comfort zone, and when that happens, I tend to forget things! You should at least pay half of the fee for the locksmith.”

The locksmith comes and lets us in over two hours later. So, now it’s 2:00 am, and my means to get home are gone, so I’m forced to spend the night in the smelliest bed ever, next to an equally smelly dude who obviously doesn’t want me there.

I make it through a sleepless night, bail the heck out of there, and never see him again. He does send a message two days later.

Guy: “So… that’s a ‘no’ on us dating, then?”

No s***.

I have to admit I was being pretty stupid in this story, as well, for trusting a guy I just met.

Well, That’s Something You Don’t See Every Day

, , , | Healthy Romantic | April 9, 2022

I’m married to a big ol’ cowboy. When I was in labor with our child, the only time we were separated was when they took him to get into scrubs. He’s such a big farm boy that none of the scrubs fit him. He ended up wearing the largest painter suit they could find. When he walked in, I burst into laughter.

Me: “You look like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters!

Twenty-six years later, it’s my go-to memory in stressful situations.