Monthly Roundup: August 2018

Friendly Healthy Hopeless Learning Legal Related Right Romantic Working | September 3, 2018

It’s time for the August roundup! Our editors have decided among themselves which stories in August deserve the extra attention, regardless of the number of thumbs-ups they received. Out of the 844 stories we posted in the month, we’ve singled out fourteen.

If there are any stories from the last month you feel we should have included, please let us know in the comments!

Don’t forget to vote for your favorite stories in the poll below! Note: You can choose up to three. The winner of the previous roundup poll was A Pinch Of Good Parenting Can Go A Long Way, from the Related category!

 

The Gay Card Is Double-Sided – Don’t have that chip on your shoulder when it’s not needed.

The Language Of Disrespect – It pays to be polite in any language.

Pay It Forward Never Needs To Go On Sale – Karma on sale!

Life… Finds A Way – A love, 65 million years in the making.

Was “Tough” To Make Out – Them’s fightin’ words! I think?

Derpy With The Herpy – You’re going to be googling interesting words after this…

Guys So Hot That You Just Got Burned – A burning desire to not have sex.

Doesn’t Have The Power To Make Such Demands – The pen is mightier than the customer!

They Rostered Their Own Last Days – Lies in the age of smartphone cameras.

The Judicial Blintz – Getting citizenship is a piece of cake!

Flipped Their Last Bird – A huge UP YOURS to discriminatory teachers!

Slaves R Us – Working for free is future!

Does Not Have A Licence To Kill Licenses – Fake IDs are not so pretty in pink.

You’ve Crumbled Your Own Cookie – Thou shalt not steal chocolate!

 

Please choose your favorite story of the month!

View Results

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The Husband Finally Shows Some Teeth

, , , , | Romantic | September 3, 2018

(I am at a surprise party that one of my friends has thrown for his wife. After the surprise, she goes back inside to change into some more comfortable clothes: a tee shirt and some velvet shorts with owls on them.)

Her Friend: “Oh, those are cute shorts!” *laughs*

Wife: “My husband actually wears them sometimes, too!”

Her Friend: “How does he pull that off?!”

Husband: “With my teeth!”

Love-Sick As A Parrot

, , , , , , , | Romantic | September 1, 2018

I come to Canada with my grandmother so she can meet my boyfriend. She and I are going to meet him for lunch, and we have a bit of time to spare, so she and I figure we’ll go to a nearby butterfly garden. This garden is also home to some parrots, which is my main interest in going, as I’m fascinated with birds of all sorts. I am taking pictures of a beautiful parrot when all of a sudden he flies at me. He lands on my arm and begins walking all over me, and, again, being an avid birder, I am quite excited. Little children come up to pet him while he is on my arm, also full of excitement.

Then, things become a little awkward.

The bird starts getting all sorts of frisky with my hand. A little girl tries to get him to move to her arm, which, thank goodness, he refuses, but he keeps going at my hand. By the time he finally flies away, I have a small crowd of kids surrounding me and the bird, petting him while he does unspeakable things, and I do my best to downplay what is happening.

When I tell my boyfriend about it later, we have quite a good laugh!

Deaf Becomes Her

, , , , , | Romantic | August 30, 2018

I heard this story from a bookstore clerk. He told me he had been working in the bookstore for a couple weeks when, on a Saturday morning, this couple came in. The wife started browsing the shelves, while the husband, a French gentleman, stood by the counter chatting with the clerk. When the wife came back to speak to the husband, the clerk noticed how rude she was, speaking loudly, almost screaming at him.

Later, he talked about the couple to the bookstore owner, saying how impressed he was with the husband, who had a very interesting and intelligent conversation, and the wife’s manner, mainly the way she yelled at him. The owner said, “Oh, that’s my friend, Mr. [Friend]. His wife is annoying as h***, so to avoid as much conversation with her as he can, he pretends to be deaf.”

The “Friend Zone” Contains No True Friends

, , , | Romantic | August 28, 2018

(A long-time friend of mine expresses his more-than-friendly ideas about us. The following conversation ensues:)

Me: “You know I’m married, and I don’t think of you like that.”

Friend: “Why?”

Me: “I’m married to [Husband]; I love him. I don’t want anyone else.”

Friend: “But why?”

Me: “I just told you.”

Friend: “That’s not an answer.”

Me: “Just because you don’t like what I’ve said, that doesn’t make it ‘not an answer.’”

Friend: “But we’ve been friends for years!”

Me: “Just friends.”

Friend: “So why not more?”

Me: “I. SAID. NO. If you can’t handle the fact that I don’t want to f*** you, then you can f*** off.”

Friend: “You don’t have to be a b**** about it.”

Me: “It seems I do.”

Friend: “Your loss!”

(He went on to post several updates about how “nice guys finish last,” the dreaded friend zone, and quotes about girls not knowing how to handle a decent guy when he comes along. A few of his friends commented, saying he was a good guy and that the girl in question would come to her senses too late. He commented back, calling the girl blind, slutty, and stupid. I took a screenshot of our conversation and posted it, adding the comment, “Which part of this makes me a blind, stupid slut? And if I am such a slut, wouldn’t I have said yes?” He promptly deleted it and blocked me. What a good guy, huh?)


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