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Relationships, romance, and break-ups!

There’s Helpful And Then There’s Annoying

, , , | Romantic | November 3, 2021

My wife is driving on vacation. We realize we’re going to arrive at our destination early, so she asks me to call the hotel to see if we can move up our reservation. My phone is loud enough that my wife can hear.

Clerk: “What were the dates of your reservation?”

Wife: “Tuesday and Wednesday.”

Me: “Tuesday and Wednesday.”

Clerk: “And when did you want to move them to?”

Wife: “Monday and Tuesday.”

Me: “Monday and Tuesday.”

Clerk: “And what last name was the reservation under?”

Wife: “[Our Last Name].”

Me: “[Our Last Name].”

Wife: “You probably could have gotten that last one on your own.”

Working From Home Has A Learning Curve… For All Involved

, , , , | Romantic | October 31, 2021

I’ve never worked at home before; I wasn’t prepared mentally or physically set up for it. I’ve been hands-on, even in office jobs, for twenty years; sitting at home at a laptop felt alien to me.

But by far the person who had the hardest time adjusting was my wife; she couldn’t understand that “at home” meant “at work”. She couldn’t understand how all the chores weren’t done, why I couldn’t stop what I was doing and chat every time she wanted me to, or how difficult it was sometimes.

This was frustrating at the start but still completely understandable; I still didn’t really get it and I was the one working.

I managed to score a free day off. At the same time, her work was asking her to sit a lot of online courses. We figured that it would be a perfect opportunity for her to not have to go into work and use the home office for a change.

Not thirty minutes into her work from home:

Me: “You didn’t last long.”

Wife: “Oh, yeah. Does the office always get so stuffy?”

Me: “Yeah, that’s actually better than it used to be. Try keeping the window open.”

Wife: “I did, but the road is so loud.”

Me: “Yeah, I know.”

An hour later:

Me: “Oh, hey, you’re down again?”

Wife: “Yeah, bit lonely on your own up there.”

Me: “I know. Want a coffee?”

Wife: “Yeah, but I should get back to work.”

Me: “I could come up and chat?”

Wife: “No, I really need to get on and do this. I won’t do any work if you’re there.”

She almost made it to lunchtime but came down again.

Me: “Oh, hey. I’m not finished with lunch yet. I didn’t expect you so soon. How are you getting on?”

Wife: “Terrible. How does anyone concentrate at home? I mean, the noise, the emptiness. Oh!”

Me: “Yep.”

Wife: “Yeah, working from home isn’t for everyone, huh?”

Me: “Nope.”

Wife: “Probably shouldn’t expect you to do everything as well as your job?”

Me: “Nope. Lunch?”

After just one morning she got it, while, of course, I still work and tidy or use my lunch to prepare dinner. She gets that working from home is still working.

Filling Her In On Filling Up

, , , | Romantic | October 27, 2021

My girlfriend and I are on our way from Maryland to New York City for a short vacation. By the time we are ready to check into our motel across the river in New Jersey, I’m pretty low on gas, and I decide to fill up before we check in so we don’t have to waste time doing so tomorrow when we start touring.

For those of you who don’t know, it used to be illegal nationwide for customers to pump their own fuel from gas stations; pumps weren’t as safe and reliable as they are now, so it was unsafe for untrained personnel to operate them. While most states have overturned the laws preventing gas pumps from being self-served, New Jersey and Oregon are the final holdouts that require it to be done by an attendant.

We pull into the station and I pull up to the pump closest to the man sitting in a chair in the middle of the station. I recognize him as the station attendant, but my girlfriend is, apparently, unfamiliar with this New Jersey law. The man is rather scruffy and I suppose he looks suspicious to a girl in a strange new city. As I pull up, he stands and looks down at me expectantly.

Girlfriend: *Alarmed* “Wait, don’t stop here! There’s some guy just sitting there! Why are you stopping by him?!”

Me: *Laughing* “That’s the gas station attendant. It is still illegal to pump your own gas in New Jersey and Oregon, so they have to have an employee do it.”

My girlfriend settles back in her seat and laughs sheepishly.

Girlfriend: “Oh…”

I roll down the window and hand the man my credit card.

Me: “Fill it up with regular, please.”

This Is Where We Write The Story Name Things

, , , , , | Romantic | October 23, 2021

When stressed or tired, I tend to forget nouns. My husband has just finished eating dinner.

Me: “Can you please put your food holder into the washer box?”

Husband: *Big sigh* “Use your words…”

Me: “I am! I am specifically using my words!”

But Did He Use His Blinkers?

, , , , | Romantic | October 19, 2021

I was getting ingredients out of the fridge and my husband wanted something from the cabinet next to it. He started going, “BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!” like a reversing truck as he approached behind me, letting me know he was there. He stopped beeping and I had what I needed from the fridge, so I pivoted to get out of the way and close the door. I slammed right into him.

After I finally stopped laughing:

Me: “I thought you were gone! You stopped beeping!”

Husband: “I stopped beeping because I shifted into park!”