His Scolding Is Heavy Handed

, , , , | Romantic | June 18, 2017

(I am the type of person who likes to move things around for a fresh look. My husband is the opposite so I usually move things while he’s not home. I’m cleaning the kitchen one day and decide that the microwave needs to be closer to where I prepare food instead of on the other side of the room. Husband walks in as I’m about to pick up the microwave. I usually have to move the microwave out of the spot to clean under and behind it, it’s not heavy to move.)

Husband: “What are you doing?”

Me: “Moving the microwave; it’s in a stupid spot.”

Husband: “Why can’t you just leave it there?”

Me: “Because I have to carry boiling items across the room and avoid toddlers at the same time.” *I start pick it up*

Husband: “That’s too heavy for you. I’ll do it.”

(He makes me put it down and drags it out, dropping the corner and taking a chunk out of the wooden bench top.)

Me: “Look at what you just did.”

Husband: “That thing was heavy. You would have dropped the whole thing.”

Me: “I move that microwave all the time, and have never dropped it.”

Husband: “See? This is why I don’t want you moving things around. Things get damaged.”

Me: “No, this is why I move things while you aren’t home because I don’t damage things.”

Husband: “I told you it was too heavy.”

Not Quite Married To The Idea

, , | Romantic | June 17, 2017

(I’m in my mid-20s, female, and single. This is very odd in our small town, as most girls marry fairly young. Occasionally, customers comment on it. I don’t mind too much, as I’ve been burned in past relationships, so I know I’m a little picky when it comes to guys. Then there’s this regular customer…)

Me: “Hi, [Customer]! How are you?”

Customer: “Well, I’m just fine, young lady. How are you? How’s the wedding planning going?”

Me: “Oh, I’m not getting married. You must have me mistaken with someone else!”

Customer: “But why aren’t you?”

Me: “Well, I just haven’t found the right guy yet.”

Customer: “You SHOULD get married! It’s a disgrace, the way you young girls hold out nowadays. Don’t you WANT to get a man?”

Me: “Well, sure, once I find the right one—”

Customer: “You and [Coworker #1] over there. She was engaged last year, and now she’s not. How are you two are as old as you are and aren’t married?”

(The coworker in question is in her early 20s.)

Me: “Um… I really don’t think I should comment on her personal life.”

Customer: “FIND A MAN!”

Me: “I’ll do my best.”

(Customer exits. The coworker in question walks over to me.)

Coworker: *sarcastically* “Right. Because being married to an a** is way better than being single! This town, I swear…”

The Only Way To Get Out Of This Pickle

, , | Romantic | June 16, 2017

(I’m having a bit of trouble with a classmate whom I went on a date with once. It didn’t work out, but now he won’t leave me alone. He stares at me throughout the whole class, ambushes me when I’m leaving the lecture hall, and sometimes follows me to my car. Nearly every time he talks to me, he literally begs me to go out with him again. So far, I’ve tried to be polite, but this is getting really out of hand. I’ve decided to be absolutely clear next time he tries something that I don’t want anything to do with him. However, I’m not looking forward to the conversation. I keep trying to avoid him if I can. On this day, I think I’ve managed to slip away unnoticed by using the back exit of the classroom. I’m walking to my car feeling relieved at avoiding him.)

Classmate: *from somewhere behind me* “[My Name]! There you are! I wasn’t sure where you went. Ha ha!”

Me: *walking to a more crowded area, then turning around to face him* “This needs to stop.”

Classmate: “What?”

Me: “I’m not going to go out with you again. Ever. You need to stop trying.”

Classmate: “But… but…” *tries once again to convince me we’d be the perfect couple*

Me: “No. I’ve made my mind, and I’m not going to change it. Also, the way you’re acting is—”

Classmates: *cutting me off* “We’re still friends, though, right? Let me walk you to your car.”

(We weren’t friends before he asked me out, but he’s somehow gotten it into his head that we were. Every time I think I’ve convinced him that I don’t want to date him, he continues to hang around, saying he just wants to be my friend. The next time I see him, he always conveniently forgets the last time I turned him down and tries to convince me to go out with him yet again. So much for just wanting to be friends. I’ve let him get away with the friends thing so far because at that point of the conversation, I’m usually just glad the begging is over. Also, it seems really mean to tell someone you don’t want to be their friend. I really don’t want to be his friend, though, so I decide it’s time to put my foot down.)

Me: “You know what? No. We are not friends. We have never been friends. Please leave me alone.”

Classmate: “But I got you a gift!”

Me: “I don’t feel comfortable accepting–”

(He quickly shoves something into my hands. I catch it reflexively so that it doesn’t fall, then look down to see what it is. It’s a jar of pickles.)

Me: “Um…”

Classmate: *looking at me expectantly, like the jar of pickles is supposed to magically make me jump into his arms*

Me: *trying to hand the pickles back* “Uh… This is… thoughtful, but like I was saying, I don’t feel comfortable accepting a gift in this situation.”

Classmate: *refusing to take the pickles* “But I got it just for you!”

(I have no idea why he would do that. I don’t actually like pickles, and I’ve never told him otherwise.)

Me: “I don’t—”

Classmate: “Please just accept it.”

Me: *sighing* “If I take these pickles, will you leave me alone?”

Classmate: *nodding*

Me: “Just to be clear, that means no more calling me, no more talking to me, no more walking me to my car, and no more staring at the back of my head in class. You’re going to stop doing all of that? Because of… pickles?”

Classmate: *still nodding*

Me: “Okay, then. Thanks for the pickles. Have a nice life.”

(He actually did leave me alone after that. I never ate the pickles, and I changed his name in my phone to “Pickle Guy – DO NOT ANSWER.”)

QUESTION OF THE WEEK!

Romantic | June 15, 2017

Throwback ThursdaysQUESTION OF THE WEEK! Our new segment that aims to spice up your Mondays’ with our weekly question! 

What is the worst date you’ve ever been on?

Leave your answer in the comments!

Since this is a new segment, please leave suggestions in the comments about what you think we should name it! We’ll pick the best comments and feature them as stories!

Too Late For Puppy Love

, , , , , | Romantic | June 15, 2017

(It’s after midnight and we’re in bed, but the dog is insistent on playing.)

Me: “No, puppy! Stop trying to force your balls under the blanket. They’re gross and it’s sleep time.”

Partner: “I’m so glad it’s you saying that to the dog and not me to you.”

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