The Self-Appointed Cable Guy

, , , | Right | February 18, 2019

(I am standing at the counter at work when a man approaches with a cable in his hand, an Apple-branded Thunderbolt cable. I scan the barcode, and read him the price from the screen.)

Me: “That’ll be £29, please, sir.”

Customer: “Yeah, I know it says that, but just so you know, that must be a typo.”

(I’m a little confused.)

Me: “Well, it comes up at that price on the till, so looks like it must be a good reduction right now.”

Customer: “Well, it’s £49.99 everywhere else, so your price is obviously wrong.”

Me: “Well, it just means we’re cheaper than everywhere else at the moment, sir.”

Customer: “I doubt that very much. You should pass this information on to your head office. Apple doesn’t let companies discount their cables this much.”

(I decided he obviously just wanted to be right, although he wasn’t. Deciding not to get involved in that part of the conversation, he left, telling me I’d better feed it back to someone. Turns out he was a former company director, who liked to feel like he still knew how the company he hadn’t worked at for years operated. I almost feel like I should have, after he continued to mention the higher price elsewhere, tell him I’d be happy to give him it at that price if it would make him feel better.)

Knowing The Future Should Be A Walk In The Park-ing

, , , , | Right | February 18, 2019

(I work in a hotel in a small town that often struggles for parking, especially when the weather is nice or there are big golf events. There are free and pay places to park throughout the town, but most hotels don’t have designated parking.)

Guest: “I am checking in today and I wanted to know where your parking was.”

Me: “The hotel doesn’t have designated parking, but there are free and pay-to-park locations around us. You can park on the street just across from us, and it’s free 24 hours a day.”

Guest: “So, do you think I’ll get parked there? Are there spaces?”

Me: “Well, I can’t see the road from here, and I couldn’t tell you what it will be like whenever you arrive tonight, so I have no idea.”

Guest: “No, but what is the likelihood that I’ll get parked there tonight?”

Me: “I really couldn’t tell you.”

Guest: “Well, that’s not very helpful of you, is it?”

This Is A Hug(e) Issue

, , , , , , , | Friendly | February 7, 2019

(I am out shopping when a young girl, maybe four or five years of age, runs up to me and hugs my leg. A woman is following her.)

Woman: “[Girl], come on, we need to finish shopping for Grandma’s party!”

Girl: “No! I want to stay here!”

Woman: “This is ridiculous.”

(She grabs the girls arm and the girl makes an ear-splitting scream. The woman lets go and huffs.)

Woman: “You don’t mind.” *walks away*

Me: *shouting after her* “I do mind, actually!”

(I manage to get the attention of a worker, who tries to bring the woman back while I try to get the girl off me. When the woman returns, she starts shouting at me and the other workers who have been trying to help.)

Woman: “In what world do you live in where you think it is appropriate to handle a little girl like this?!”

Me: “In what world do you think it’s okay to leave a little girl with a man you don’t know?!”

(She blushed and tried grabbing the girl again. The girl started screaming again and kicking me. By this time the police had been alerted, and once the girl was successfully removed and calmed down, I was questioned on why I was letting all of this happen. Thanks to the workers in the store, and the woman who at this point was absolutely hysterical, I was free to go after it was discovered the woman had taken her niece out without the girl’s mother’s permission, who had actually made a call to the police about the girl being missing.)

You Say Tomato, I Say Vanilla

, , , , | Right | February 6, 2019

Patron: “Is this tomato? I’m allergic.”

Me: “No.”

Patron: “How can you be so sure?!”

Me: “We don’t serve tomato with ice cream.”

The Worst Kind Of Chain Store

, , , , , , , | Working | February 6, 2019

(I am browsing in a shop that sells jewellery, scarves, and other accessories. I find something I want to buy and wait while they serve another customer, a young woman who is trying on a necklace. Neither the customer nor the owner speak English as a first language.)

Customer: “I’m not sure. I think the chain might be a bit long.”

Owner: “We could cut the chain, if you like.”

Customer: *noncommittally, as if she’s mulling it over* “Okay.”

(The owner’s wife immediately snatches the necklace away and cuts the chain.)

Owner: “That will be [price].”

Customer: *looks at the necklace again and tries it on with the new chain length* “No, I don’t think I want it.”

Owner: “You have to buy it now. We cut the chain for you. We can’t sell it.”

Customer: “I didn’t ask you to.”

Owner: “You said, ‘Okay.’ ‘Okay,’ means, ‘Yes.’ You don’t speak proper English. I speak English. ‘Okay,’ means, ‘Yes.’ You must buy it.”

Customer: “I don’t want to buy it.”

(Then, the owner and his wife physically manhandled the woman out of the shop, yelling about how they were going to call the police on her. I threw down the thing I was thinking of buying and ran out of the shop, too, chasing after the woman, who was sobbing on the street, to console her. I still regret not calling the police on them for assault, or even saying something to them.)

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