(I go into an off-licence close to my house. I am twenty years old. I pick up a bottle of alcohol and go towards the counter.)

Cashier: “ID?”

(I hand my driver’s licence over and she takes one look at it, smirks, and then flings it onto the floor with her fingers.)

Cashier: “You’re too young to buy alcohol. Get out.”

(I look at my driver’s licence incredulously, trying to work out what it was that made her think it was a fake.)

Me: “But I’m twenty. This licence is genuine.”

(The cashier puts her hand on her hip.)

Cashier: “Kid, you’d better get out before I call the cops.”

Me: “I want to see your manager.”

Cashier: “Get out.”

Me: “Please!”

Cashier: “He’ll tell you the same thing.”

(She opens the door and calls for the manager. When he comes down, I tell him my side of the story.)

Manager: “Is this true?”

Cashier: *snickering* “He’s underage, [Manager]! And he didn’t even bother to get a fake ID; he just handed over his driver’s licence!”

Manager: “[Cashier], you’re not in New Jersey anymore; you’re in England. In England, the legal age to drink alcohol is eighteen.”

(The cashier looks taken aback for a moment.)

Cashier: *sneering* “No wonder the city folk are all [alcoholic slurs]!”

(She went upstairs. The manager apologized, saying that his niece was studying in Britain for a year. She was moved to the back after that.)

(I’m the only one watching the coffee bar until the people actual scheduled to do it show up. I guess this could be split up into two stories, but they did only occur within ten minutes of each other. It’s a slow night, and [Customer #1] is the first customer I’ve seen at the coffee bar all evening.)

Customer #1: “May I get a green tea and a mint tea, please?”

Me: “You want two teas? What size?”

Customer #1: “I only want one cup. Two bags. What’s your smallest cup? ”

Me: *repeating the order because I’ve never had someone ask for two different teas like this* “So one 16 oz tea with an extra tea bag?”

Customer #1: “Yes.” *hands me her card*

Me: “Campus Meal Plan? ”

Customer #1: “Yeah, but why am I being charged extra?”

Me: “An extra tea bag is fifty cents. With the meal plan discount, your entire order is only 82 cents.”

Customer #1: “But all the other times they just ask me if I want a second bag.”

Me: “Then they need to start charging you for an extra tea bag. They’re not free.”

Customer #1: *rolls eyes* “Fine.”

(I run her card, and [Customer #1] takes her tea and leaves. Not five minutes later, my second customer shows up.)

Me: “What can I get for you? ”

Customer #2: “May I get an iced mocha? Go easy on the ice, please.”

(I run her card, and start making her drink. I fill the cup with about half the ice normally use for iced drinks.)

Me: *showing [Customer #2] the amount of ice in the cup* “You wanted light on the ice? Is this okay?:

Customer #2: “How light can you make it?”

Me: “You want less, then?”

Customer #2: “Put in as little ice as you can. No ice would be best.”

Me: “The espresso is brewed hot. If I don’t put any ice in it, it’s just going to be a hot cafe mocha, and not a cold drink”

Customer #2: “Yeah, actually could you make me a hot mocha instead? ”

(She seemed happy when I gave her the hot mocha.)

(I worked as a night cashier in a gas station convenience store for a while when I was in college. This happened while I was ringing up a customer’s purchase.)
Me: And will you be paying with credit or debit today?
Customer: Yes.
Me: ….Credit? Or Debit?
Customer: (Impatiently) Yes!
Me: Alright, we’ll run it as credit. (Hits the register key for ‘credit’)
Customer: (Visibly annoyed now) I said I wanted debit!

(Quitting that job was the best day of my life.)

(I work in a small convenience store in a town that’s very quiet out of season, and very busy during holidays. We sell the usual essentials you’d find in a corner shop: bread, milk, eggs, tobacco, etc. The store is TINY; you can see all the products wherever you stand because there are no aisles.)

Customer: “Hi, I’ve come here on my holiday, but I left my caravan awning at home. Do you sell them?”

Me: *jokingly* “If you can find one in here amongst the pasta and tinned beans, I’ll sell it to you!”

Customer: *actually starts moving tins of beans around to look underneath them*

Me: “Wait! Stop! What are you doing?!”

Customer: “You said you had an awning under the beans!”

Me: “I was just kidding, dude! Do you want directions to a specialist store in [Nearby Town]?”

Customer: “Yes, but first could you tell me… what I should have been looking for?”

(Turns out he’d been lying about forgetting the awning at home; he didn’t even know what it was! He came back the next day having purchased one from a specialist, and he comes back with his kids every holiday now and pretends to look for an awning under the beans. They’re some of my favourite seasonal customers!)

(This happens on the day of the store’s grand opening. It’s a 24 hour convience store. But we have a raffle drawing at 5pm, so, we have closed the store for 10 minutes while the drawing takes place outside in the parking lot, so staff has time to clean up. I’m blocking the doors.)
Customer #1: (trying to enter as the last few customers in the store are leaving)
Me: Sorry, sir, we’re closed.
Customer #1: But I have to buy something.
Me: We’re closed for the next 10 minutes.
(Customer #2 tries walking in and Customer #1 gets in line right behind him, by now, the store is empty except for myself and another employee, mopping.)
Me: Sorry, we’re closed.
(Customer #3 tries entering, only for Customer #1 to get right behind him again.)
Me: We’re closed for the next 10 minutes. Sorry!
(This goes on for the next 10 minutes with a new customer and Customer #1 trying to enter right behind them.)
Me: Dude! We are STILL closed.
(He just kept on lingering by the door and trying to get in every time I turned my back. This dragged out the 10 minutes into 20. The realy important thing he just HAD to buy? Iced coffee and chips.)