(Anyone under the age of 18 cannot legally ring up alcohol for customers. I’m 24, but people still ask if I’m old enough to ring it. The following happens on a Thursday morning. The temperature is in the negatives, and all the local school systems have the day off.)

Customer: *sets wine on the counter* “Who can ring this?”

Me: *laughs* “Anyone who couldn’t would be in school right now, sir.”

Customer: *suddenly snotty* “Well, today’s a snow day! They aren’t in school; so THERE. You COULD be too young.”

Me: “Sir, the managers didn’t know today would be a snow day when they made the schedule a week ago.”

Customer: *grabs his things and storms out*

(I work near the port where the cruise ships come in, so we got a lot of tourists. I have just finished helping a customer, when a lady who has been hanging back from the counter hesitantly walks up and puts her purchase on the counter.)

Customer: *after having listened to previous transaction* “I don’t speak Canadian; do you speak American?”

Me: “I speak English.”

(The customer looked dumbfounded, hurriedly paid for her stuff, and ran out of the store.)

My husband, our 4 kids, and I walked into a small convenience store to grab a quick emergency item late at night. We walk in to find a female screaming at 2 male employees. One employee loses his temper and raises his voice to her and things are getting worse. My husband and I exchange worried looks as we gather our kids closely. I jump as I hear him suddenly scream the loudest I’ve ever heard him, “LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!” The three stop arguing to stare at my husband, who is glaring at this customer. Our two year old pipes up, “Yeah! Alone!” The two employees start cracking up. The woman yells, “I’m calling your manager tomorrow!” And then rushes out the door. That, my friends, is why my husband is my favorite.

(My boss is a funny guy, and the other day he was thinking about cross-merchandising our two-liter sodas with our chips. One of our soda vendors comes in, and my boss and the vendor notice there is a space between the two-liter Coke bottles and the two-liter Mountain Dew bottles. This is how the conversation goes.)

Vendor: “So, what are we going to put there?”

Boss: *thinking* “What about Cheese-Doodles? So it’ll be Coke, a Doodle, Dew!”

(I stop at a popular local convenience store to pick up some things, including a pack of cigarettes for my boyfriend. I have a $1.50 coupon for them. I also purchase two drinks that are on sale, 2 for $3. The cashier rings everything up, and I see the deduction come up for the drink sale. When she goes to scan the cigarette coupon, she accidentally scans the pack of cigarettes again. I realize she thinks she just rang up the coupon when she tosses it in the register and tells me my total.)

Me: “You rang the cigarettes up twice.”

(The cashier stares blankly at the screen, then begins to stress and grumble about how she needs to get a manager to void the extra pack. There is a line, so, trying to be nice, I tell her to just give me another pack of cigarettes that she charged me for and I will buy them both. She does so.)

Cashier: “Your total is…”

Me: “The coupon did not scan.”

Cashier: “Yes, it did.” *refers to the deduction for the drinks that were on sale*

Me: “No, that was for the drinks. The coupon was for $1.50, it’s not there. Can’t you scan it again?”

Cashier: *stares blankly at the screen*

Me: “Scan it, or it give it back it to me and I’ll use it another time.”

Cashier: *still acting confused*

(Finally she rang me out, threw the coupon back at me, and grumbled about agreeing to work that day. I didn’t understand the issue. It was clearly listed that it never rang up, all she had to do was scan it. It wasn’t until I got home that I realized she stamped the coupon with “PAID” so I couldn’t use it again.)