Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 17

, , , , | Right | May 27, 2020

I am working the tills on a busy Saturday afternoon and next in line is a young male customer. After saying hello, he hands me over a copy of a game guide for a popular video game. He has his receipt.

Customer: “I’d like to return this, please.”

Me: “Of course, was there anything wrong with it?”

As I am saying this, I look at the guide and check the receipt.

Customer: “No, there is nothing wrong. I finished the game and I don’t need this anymore.”

I realise the receipt is from almost eighteen months ago.

Me: “I’m sorry, you want to return the item that you bought eighteen months ago, because you have used it and no longer need it?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “And was it satisfactory? Did it help you complete the game?”

Customer: “Yes. But I don’t need it now, so I want to return it. The receipt is there.”

Me: “I appreciate that the receipt is there, but you yourself just said there was nothing wrong with the product and it has quite clearly been used. I can’t refund you; I’m sorry.” 

Customer: “But I have the receipt and I don’t need it anymore.”

Me: “Yes, I realise this, but you cannot return items once you have finished using them. If you didn’t want to keep this, then you should have borrowed one from a library. We are not a library; we are a shop.”

Customer: “But I have the receipt. I should get a refund.”

Me: “You bought it, you used it, and it was fit for purpose; therefore, I have no legal obligation to return this. That is what ‘buying’ something means; it means you buy it and you keep it.”

During this whole conversation, he is looking at me like I am crazy. 

Customer: “I don’t understand why I can’t get a refund.”

Me: “Because you bought it and used it. If it was still sealed in plastic and had a barcode I might have accepted the return then, but there is nothing wrong with this. You have used it. We are not a library or a second-hand store. We do not do trade-ins. I can’t refund this item for you.”

The customer is just staring at me blankly.

Me: “Can I help you with anything else?”

He just took the guide back and walked out.

Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 16
Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 15
Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 14

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Filing This Idea Away For Later

, , , , , | Working | May 20, 2020

My friend keeps getting calls from those accident telemarketers. One day, she takes a call when I am there.

Caller: “I can see you were in an accident that wasn’t your fault, [Friend].”

My friend bursts into tears.

Friend: “If you know about it, you’ll know that [Friend] died in that accident!”

The caller hung up. My friend didn’t get any more calls.

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They Don’t Understand How The Competitive Market Works

, , , | Right | May 19, 2020

I work for a major supermarket call center. I overhear a conversation between a colleague of mine and a customer.

Customer: “I have an issue with an item I bought from [Supermarket].”

Staff Member: “This is [Other Supermarket].”

Customer: “Well, surely there must be something you can do?”

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We Really Hope These Are Not All The Same Customer

, , , , , | Right | May 13, 2020

I have been working in hospitality for twelve years and have stumbled across many hilarious and terrible customers in my time. The best ones ask the stupid questions, though.

Customer #1: “What’s the difference between the cold Guinness and regular Guinness?” 

Customer #2: “What’s in a Bailey’s Latte?”

Customer #3: “I’d like to order a pizza, please.”

Me: “We don’t sell pizzas here.”

Customer #3: “You do!”

The customer points to the menu where it says, “Panini.”

Customer #4: “Are there nuts in the pecan chocolate brownies?”

Customer #5: “I’d like a chicken tequila masala!”

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Can’t String Together What He Wants

, , , , | Right | May 11, 2020

Customer: “Can you show me a rhythm guitar, please?”

Me: “I’m sorry, there’s no such thing. Rhythm guitar is the role you play in a band or group, not the type of guitar.”

Customer: “You’re such an idiot. Of course, you can find rhythm guitars! They have four strings instead of six!”

Me: “I think you mean a bass guitar.”

Customer: “No, a bass guitar is what you play with your foot on the drum kit.”

Me: “That’s bass drum, not bass guitar.”

The customer is suddenly blushing as people around him are laughing.

Customer: “Okay, so can I check a rhythm guitar, please?”

Me: “Do you mean a six-string one?”

Customer: “No, that’s a lead guitar; rhythm guitars have four strings!”

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