Unfiltered Story #137039

, , , | Unfiltered | January 19, 2019

(I work for a tv, phone and broadband provider and have been taking calls for a while, we were warned that people might ask silly questions)

Me “hi your through to julie at [business] how can I help”

Customer “my broadband isn’t working, not connecting right”

Me “okay let me have a look at your account, is that a wirless n router you have”

Customer “no my internet isn’t wireless, it’s got a power cable”

(I had to put him on hold to take a minute, the worst of it was he was born in 1986).

The Wicked Witch Of The West Needs Some Foundation

, , , , , | Right | January 6, 2019

(I am a regular at a cosmetics store which prides itself on being environmentally friendly and safe to animals. It has a devoted consumer base, but occasionally one would read something online which challenged these ideals, and being totally naive, completely believe it. I am in the store being served when another regular comes in.)

Employee: “Hello, [Customer]! Nice to see you again. What can we do for you?”

Customer: “I want something a little tougher on my skin, as it has been more oily lately.”

(The employee offers for her to try a product and motions for her to stand next to a basin they use to demonstrate products. The woman does as instructed, but when the employee turns to actually get the product she submerges her entire head into the basin and lifts it out immediately after, screaming.)

Customer: “MY FACE, MY BEAUTIFUL FACE! YOU’VE BURNED ME WITH YOUR CHEMICALS! I CAN’T SEE! OH, MY FACE!”

(She staggers around the shop, swinging her arms around wildly. She collides with just about everyone and probably destroys about half the displays. She finally crumples in a heap, gasping, saying she’ll never see again between breaths. The shop manager comes out.)

Manager: “What’s happened?”

Employee: “I… I don’t know! She said she was burning!”

Manager: “What did she do?”

Me: “She stuck her head in one of the basins. Maybe there was something in it?”

Manager: “But I just filled them up before we opened.”

Employee: “And you’re the first two in. It should just be water!”

(The regular heard all of this, and at the word “water” she stopped screaming, looked around in a daze, stood up, and walked out as if nothing happened. They had to close early to tidy everything up. I went back in a month later and was told the had woman called customer services demanding a refund for a towel she had to buy after she left, to dry herself off.)

A Warped Sense Of Body Issues

, , , , | Working | December 29, 2018

(We sell custom mirrors which are made in the building. I have been called down to the front.)

Colleague: “This lady would like to return this mirror, but it was over £800.”

Manager: “I see. What is the problem with it?”

Customer: “It’s warped. It’s making me look huge!”

Manager: “Oh, I’m so sorry about that.”

(I look over the mirror but can’t see any warping. I call down someone from quality.)

Quality: “On the surface, there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong. It’s in perfect condition.”

Customer: “But it’s making me look so fat!” *walks in front of it* “See?!”

(I personally wouldn’t describe the woman as “fat” or even overweight, and the mirror seems to be doing as intended. We all realise the problem, but before we can handle the situation, [Quality] decides to speak up.)

Quality: “Well, there’s your problem. You think you’re fat!”

(The customer turns red.)

Customer: “HOW DARE YOU?!”

Quality: “It isn’t my fault. Try losing some weight.” *walks away*

(We refunded the mirror, and she left, saying she would never shop with us again. [Quality] got a stern talking to, and I didn’t let him out on the floor after that.)

The Customers Of Checkouts’ Past

, , , , , , | Right | December 24, 2018

(I am working on the last open checkout on Christmas Eve, about thirty minutes before we finish early for the night.)

Supervisor: *showing up at checkout without warning* “Can you finish up with this customer, and then see [Manager]?”

Me: “Um, sure?”

(I finish up with the customer, then head over.)

Manager: “I’m afraid you’ve just had a customer complaint.”

(A customer I had served some fifteen minutes beforehand, seeing I am being spoken to, decides to storm over to us from the customer service desk.)

Customer: “YES! That’s him!”

Manager: *looking me dead in the eye with an all-consuming seriousness* “The customer has complained that you were too cheery… Keep it up! In fact, you can clock out early; have a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year!” *waves happily at me*

(As I was walking away, I heard the customer screaming about how she [the manager] would never work at this store again… promptly followed by some random guy with a gruff Glaswegian accent: “And a merry f****** Christmas to you, too!” It was magical!)

Tis The Season To Be Disorganized

, , , , | Right | December 20, 2018

(I work in a small-town gift boutique, and it is the 20th of December, so there are a lot of stressed — and bratty — customers coming in and out of the shop. A customer comes to check out.)

Me: “Is that everything for you today? That’s [price]. Do you want a bag, or would you like me to wrap it in tissue for you?”

Customer: “Oh, could you wrap it in tissue, please? That would be amazing! Thank you!”

(I go to wrap some tissue around it and I see the customer tense. I prepare for the worst.)

Customer: “Oh, sorry, but is there a price ticket? Could you remove it before you wrap it, please?”

Me: *going to damage control* “That’s my mistake, sorry! I should have done that, anyway; I’ll just get that.”

Customer: “No, not at all. I wouldn’t usually ask; it’s just that I’m adding this to a package I’m on my way to post, since it’s last posting date today! I don’t fancy sitting in the middle of town battling a roll of wrapping paper, so I appreciate the favour!”

Me: “Oh! Is it last posting day today?”

Customer: “Well, last for second class. I don’t love anyone enough to fork out for first class.” *as they leave* “Thank you so much. Have a great day!”

(When my coworker came back from lunch a while later, she told us she’d seen someone sitting on a bench nearby, wrangling a roll of wrapping paper and a roll of packing tape. I don’t know if that customer ever got their parcel in the mail on time, but they were very chipper for someone so disorganised.)

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