Unfiltered Story #197517

, | Unfiltered | June 20, 2020

It’s the end of my shift and I’m processing my final customer transaction. Everything has been fine until now, where I am expecting payment. Both of us have our hands out expectantly.

Customer: I need my receipt.

Me: I need payment first, sir.

*another mintue goes by*

Customer: Where’s my receipt?

Me: Sir, I still need payment.

Customer: Receipt.

Me: Payment.

Customer: Receipt.

Me: Payment.

Customer: As much as I would love to do this all day, I have things to do. Could you please give me my RECEIPT!

Me: Sir, I was supposed to finish five minutes ago, and would really love to head home, but you have NOT payed me. The receipt hasn’t even been printed yet.

Customer: I haven’t payed?

Me: No.

Customer: Yes I have.

Me: No, you haven’t.

Customer: I’ve just taken my card out of the chip and pin.

Me: Sir, you haven’t even taken your wallet out yet.

*the customer reaches into his back pocket in a daze before becoming extremely irate, screaming at me*

Customer: YOU FUCKING CUNT! YOU’RE TRYING TO STEAL MONEY FROM ME!

Me: I’m doing no such thing.

Customer: YES YOU ARE. I WANT YOUR MANAGER!

A manager is called and after twenty minutes of “heated” discussion, including several threats at me, the manager finally takes the customer in the back to review the CCTV footage. Police arrive soon arrive and after another hour of me standing there not able to do anything, the customer finally returns alone, red faced.

Customer: *sheeping* How much was it again?

Me: £67.99, sir. Will that be cash or card?

Customer: Card.

The customer leaves and I’m finally able to go home. I’m paid double for my shift for the trouble, and I later find out the customer demanded the police review the footage after not believing he forgot to pay. He was almost arrested for threatening to assault the manager, but the manager decided not to persue. He was later barred after the same thing occurred with another colleague.

Losing Your Sanity(izer)

, , , , , , | Right | June 19, 2020

I know that customers are notoriously bad for ignoring signs, but this whole outbreak issue has seemingly bred a whole new breed of ignorant customers.

At the shop where I work, management has installed a hand sanitiser dispenser by the door. Because people use way too much, we run out quickly, and after having a stream of customers telling us it’s out, I decide to put a sign over it saying, “OUT OF USE.”

I’ve honestly lost count of how many people still press the lever violently trying to get sanitiser out despite there being a huge sign in capital letters saying, “OUT OF USE.” I even repositioned the sign to cover the lever, and several times that day I had to straighten it out because people had been lifting it out of the way to try and use the sanitiser underneath.

Also, we stopped accepting cash, finding it so much easier for all involved to use card only. Around the shop, we had at least ten signs saying, “NO CASH ACCEPTED,” even on the card machine outside the shop. These signs were on three of the fridges, along the barrier next to the tills, on every till point, as you come through the door, and on the exterior windows.

I have had customers do their entire shop and then come to the till and attempt to hand me cash. They then throw a hissy fit when I tell them I cannot accept it, and that we no longer have any cash on the premises to even give change. It’s usually at this point that I stare in disbelief at the massive sign right beside the customer saying that no cash is accepted at all. We also have people saying, “But it’s just £1!”. The amount doesn’t change the rule. No cash!

I’ve even witnessed a grown man storm off and throw the products back onto the shelves, swearing at the top of his voice about how ridiculous we were. 

In a somewhat related comment, recently — because we’re operating self-scan only right now — a customer commented how it was like a holiday for us. Verbal abuse and growing stupidity on a daily basis and having to put ourselves at risk just so you can buy your groceries. Yep. Some holiday!

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A Continuing Rise In Cases… Of Racism

, , , , , | Right | June 14, 2020

I’m out shopping for the first time since the lockdown. I’m waiting in line for the self-service while a customer stomps up to a manager, ignoring any social distance rules we’re expected to adhere to.

Customer: “I can’t believe you hired a [Chinese slur]!”

Manager: “Miss, I need you to calm down and leave my store. Everyone working is here because they are essential. If you’re going to abuse them, you are no longer welcome.”

Customer: “Well, you’ll see who comes to help you when she’s s***ing Ebola all over your floor!”

Manager: “That’s corona. Ebola was in Africa.”

The customer grumbled something that sounded like “stupid drunks” and left the store.

I saw her on my second visit, standing at the entrance shouting at a young Korean woman — who I know because she dated my sister — while she stood there with serene calm telling security to phone the police.

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Unfiltered Story #195936

, , | Unfiltered | June 8, 2020

Tables turned here. I’m the customer, and I’m just home from a flight from London. I fancied a beer, but there were none in the fridge. I told my wife I was going to the supermarket for some, and my daughter asked if she could come with me. Certainly. Picked up the beer (famous Irish stout) and some bits and pieces. We got to the checkout, I put the shopping onto the belt, and one of the cans suddenly split, covering me and my daughter in stout. She has on a pretty dress, and I’m in suit, tie, and a cashmere overcoat.

Checkout guy: “Awww, and I just cleaned this area.”

Me (Sighing, and taking him by the shirt): “Get a manager here now.”

The Cake Is Not A Lie; You’re Just Stupid

, , , , | Right | June 2, 2020

I own a cake shop. There is a display at the front showing various cakes we provide. None of them are real. This happens one morning just after I have opened. 

Customer: “You have a cake in your window.”

Me: “Yes. Are you interested in buying?”

Customer: “Can I look at it?”

Me: “Certainly.”

I pull a catalogue from under the counter.

Me: “Which cake caught your eye?”

Customer: “No. I want to see the cake in the window.”

Me: “All of the cakes in the window are in this catalogue.”

Customer: “But I want to see the one in the window. Why can’t you show me?”

Me: “I can, but it isn’t real. The only difference between a cake in the window and one in the catalogue is that it’s 3D.”

Customer: “If it isn’t real, then what’s the harm?”

I agree and ask her to point out which cake she wants. I bring it over and place it on the counter.

Customer: “And how much is this cake?”

Me: “It comes in several sizes; I’ll just check.”

In the two seconds I look away from her, she picks it up and takes a big bite out of it. I turn back as she screams.

Customer: “THIS IS FAKE! IT’S STYROFOAM!”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Customer: “You tried to sell me a fake cake!”

Me: “I told you it wasn’t real. You even said it wasn’t real before I brought it over.”

Customer: “YOU COULD HAVE KILLED ME! I’M SUING!”

She threw the cake to the ground, which caused the glass stand it was glued to to shatter. She stormed out, leaving me to fix the mess. 

My daughter was in the back the entire time and asked if she should call the police. I decided against it and instead printed a picture of the woman’s face that was in clear view of the camera which overlooks the shop. The picture of her, taking a bite out of Styrofoam, now hangs on the wall behind the counter. While I had to get the cake remade, I think the laughs I get from the picture are worth the cost.


This story has been included in our June 2020 roundup as one of that month’s most memorable stories!

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