Transpetting

, , , , | Working | November 19, 2017

(I love cats. I had two, and last summer my mother-in-law surprised me with a third one. She very adamantly wanted to find us a long-haired kitten, and ultimately adopted a little Maine Coon-mix girl… or so we thought. Because of “her” long hair concealing the, uh, back bits, we don’t notice “she” is a “he” until shortly before his first vet visit at six months. At the vet, we go through the standard first-time visit procedure, answering questions about his health, diet, behaviour, etc. We continuously catch ourselves referring to the cat as “she,” and explain the mix-up to the vet, thinking it’s a funny and probably somewhat common occurrence.)

Vet’s Assistant: “She’s trans.”

(We smile at that. She doesn’t smile back. She is dead serious.)

Vet’s Assistant: “No, I mean it. She’s trans.”

(It stopped being cute immediately and started to become concerning. How in the h*** do you get to be a veterinary assistant and still think that a cat has ANY idea about gender and transgenderism?!)

Vets Need To Vet Their Pharmacists

, , , | Healthy | November 17, 2017

(I take my sick dog to the vet and they don’t have the medicine he needs, so they send me to a store to pick it up from their pharmacy.)

Me: “Hi, I’m here to pick up medicine for my dog.”

Rep: “What’s the name?”

Me: “Well, my name is [My Name], but my dog is named Austin.”

Rep: “The medicine is for Austin? What’s Austin’s date of birth?”

Me: “I honestly don’t know what they would have for that; he is a rescue.”

Rep: “Do you have a phone number for Austin?”

Me: “My number is [number].”

Rep: “I don’t need your number. I need the patient’s number.”

Me: “He’s a golden retriever. He doesn’t have a number.”

Rep: “Look, I need information or I can’t give you anything. I can’t even find the prescription.”

Me: “It was called in by [Vet Hospital, with ‘Veterinary’ in the name].”

(The rep yells to the people behind him:)

Rep: “Did we get a call from a [Vet Hospital, but without the word ‘Veterinary’]?”

(I try to correct him, but he brushes me off and the other employees tell him no.)

Rep: “Look, try talking to someone at the drop off window. Right now, you can’t prove you even have a prescription.”

Me: “I don’t have a prescription, but my dog, Austin, does from his veterinarian.”

(The rep glares at me and points to the drop off window. I go over.)

Me: “Hi, I’m here to pick up medicine for my dog, Austin, that my veterinarian called in.”

Drop-Off Pharmacist: “I have that here. What’s your phone number so I can verify?” *I provide it* “Okay, our customer service rep at the main register will check you out.”

(I get back in the first line with the same rep.)

Rep: “What’s this? They found it? Well, I still need you to verify Austin’s information, or call him to get it.”

Me: “Again, Austin is a dog. See? The medicine is listed for veterinary; there’s even a picture of a dog on the package.”

Rep: “Okay, you need to talk to the pharmacist.”

(He puts the medicine on the back counter. I wait five minutes and the pharmacist comes out.)

Pharmacist: “What questions do you have?”

Me: “None, actually. The vet said just to give him a pill twice a day.”

Pharmacist: “Okay. [Rep], why did you call me up?”

Rep: “Is it even legal to give this to her? She doesn’t have the patient’s information.”

Pharmacist: “The patient is a dog. It’s fine.”

Rep: “A dog? Who needs medicine for a dog? Whatever, here.”

(He hands me the bag with the medication.)

Me: “I haven’t paid.”

Rep: “Yeah, you did; I rang you out.”

Me: “No.”

Pharmacist: “This wasn’t paid for. Let me personally ring you out over here. I’m going to write down my information and the name of the other employee who helped you. If you have any questions, comments, or complaints, please send them to this email address. Please send them. We need to have a certain number of complaints before we can let an employee go.”

Man, What A Mistake!

, | Healthy | November 14, 2017

(I am 18 years old and have recently moved out on my own and finally bought my very first pet, a golden hamster. I bring the hamster to the vet because I notice quite a large lump near the hind quarters and I want to check it out.)

Me: “Yes, see, the lump is quite big.”

Vet: “You mean here?”

Me: “Yes, I hope it is not serious.”

Vet: *nearly dying of laughter* “Those are his male genitals. He seems to be quite healthy.”

Me: “Oh, my god! I am so sorry! Really? The sales person at the store said she was a girl!”

Vet: “Well, it’s a healthy boy.”

Me: “I feel really stupid, but thanks!”

(Don’t worry for my hamster. He lived quite a healthy happy life until nearly three-and-a-half years old, even though he went through life named “Rose.”)

Not Just The Dog That Needs A Check-Up

, , , | Right | October 2, 2017

Customer: *walks into the clinic, sans dog* “Hi, I’m the 11:30 appointment.”

Me: “Hi!”

Customer: “Do I need my dogs with me?”

Me: *how else are we supposed to give them shots and a check-up?!* “Yes.”

Customer: “I’ll go home and get them!” *walks back outside and drives away*

(She did come back with the dogs, but what she was thinking I had no clue!)

That Doesn’t Settle It!

| AK, USA | Right | July 27, 2017

(At the vet clinic where I run the front desk, we require payment at time of service. I understand that some human medical institutions will bill the insurance company and then, if there’s any out-of-pocket items, they have a separate billing department settle the remainder of the transaction. But this isn’t a large multi-winged hospital, and that’s not how pet insurance works. A woman has been calling in several times a week and even showing up without an appointment because her dog is “very sick.” She changes her story every time we talk to her, and once she brought her dog in (in a panic) because it had the hiccups. At first we thought she was just an over-cautious dog-mom, which we understand, but at this point we’re all tired of the run around and waste of doctor’s time and resources.)

Doctor: “Okay, have a good day. The front desk can take care of your invoicing.”

Lady: “Great! Thank you, Doctor! You’re the best; we love you!”

Me: “Hey! Sounds like [Dog] did great today! I can settle your bill right over here.”

Lady: *suddenly less bubbly and exuberant* “Ooh, is it ok if you bill me?”

Me: “Well, unfortunately, that’s not something we can do—”

Lady: “We have insurance for her, so it’s not like I’m trying to rip you off.”

Me: “Oh, of course, but that’s not the issue. You see, we have many postings indicating our policy: Payment due at time of service.”

Lady: “Well, it’s just until tomorrow. I can pay tomorrow; is that okay?”

(At this point, I just want to say: “No, so figure it out” but this is customer service, so I see if we can bend the rules… just this once.)

Me: “Let me ask the doctor if we can work out some promissory paperwork, okay?”

Lady: “Oh, really? Can I go?”

Me: “Just wait a minute, okay? I’ll need you to fill out some paperwork if she approves it.”

(After a brief talk with the doctor, she says that we can delay payment, but the lab sample we are shipping to the labs in Seattle will not be delivered until payment is received. Thinking this a more than reasonable compromise, I head to the front to inform the client.)

Me: “Hey! So good news, we can delay payment until tomorrow bu—”

Lady: “Ooooooooooooh, thank yooooou! I love this place; you are all so great!”

Me: “Well, thank you, but also I have to let you know that your lab sample won’t be sent out until we receive that payment.”

Lady: “What?! Ugh, well, I can’t believe that. This is totally unacceptable.”

Me: *stunned by the sudden shift in attitude* “Well, I’m sorry you feel that way, but the doctors provide a valuable service and—”

Lady: “I just thought you all would rather help a poor dying animal than get paid! Ugh!” *storms out without paying*

Me: “Yeah, and I guess colleges should just give out doctorates free of tuition, too…”

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