Cats Always Land On Their Feet, Wherever They Are

, , , , , , , | Friendly | October 17, 2019

(I have recently adopted a new kitten. I am taking him to the vet to get his vaccinations and to get neutered. He is sitting in a cat carrier next to me in the waiting room. As cats often do, he is sitting with his paws all tucked under his body so you can’t see any of them. A little girl, about five or so, approaches me and we have the following exchange:)

Girl: “I have a really important question about your cat!”

Me: “Absolutely. What’s up?”

Girl: “I’ve never had a cat! I’ve got a dog–” *points to her dog* “–and I was wondering if you brought your cat to the vet because he doesn’t have any feet? I would worry if my dog didn’t have any feet.”

(I start laughing and pull my kitten out of the carrier, revealing that he did in fact, have feet. She was very relieved.)

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Unfiltered Story #169583

, | Unfiltered | October 13, 2019

(I am a kennel assistant at a veterinary hospital. I don’t have medical training, I just handle the animals and care for those that are boarded. While a coworker and I were trimming the nails of an elderly dog, we noticed some ugly sores on the dog’s legs, hiding underneath its fluffy coat, so when I bring the dog up front to its owners I ask them about it.)

Me: Here you go! And, uh, we noticed some sores on her legs, are those-

Owner: Oh, yes, they’ve been looked at and there’s not much we can do.

Me: Okay, sorry, I just had to ask. We don’t get their files when it’s just a trim.

Owner: So, do you think [ointment] would be good to use, or is there something else we could get?

Me: I’m not a doctor, sorry.

Owner: Okay.

(It was just a strange interaction.)

Piddle Me This

, , , , , | Healthy | October 9, 2019

(I work at a very busy veterinary hospital, and due to the volume of clients and the fact that we are near a highway, we have a “dogs on leashes, cats in carriers” rule to keep everyone safe. People often carry in small dogs, though, and today a woman sets her puppy down and lets it run around the lobby.)

Coworker: “Hi! I’m sorry, but could you please pick your puppy up? She’s very cute, but sometimes we get dogs in that don’t like other dogs.”

Woman: *scoffs* “I don’t let her run around. She had to pee, and it was either on me or on your floor.”

(Outside in the big grassy areas dividing the parking lot was, apparently, not an option. We get animals that piddle on the floor for a variety of reasons throughout the day, but I don’t think it’s ever been quite THIS intentional.)

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Cats Off, To Responsible Pet Owners

, , , , , | Friendly | October 5, 2019

(I’m sitting in the waiting room of the clinic with my kitten in a cat crate on my lap. My female kitten has been desexed, and now we are waiting for a vet to come and remove her stitches. As she has had stitches, she also has a cone on her head for the last two weeks and it’s safe to say she’s well and truly over it. The poor thing is softly doing sad little kitten “meep” sounds and looks miserable. As she is also rather small, even as a kitten, the sight looks even more woeful. She has been getting a lot of sympathy from the staff and the receptionist says that since it will take less than five minutes to get the stitches out, she will bump me ahead of the queue to get me out of here quickly. A woman waiting with her dog is also in the waiting room and sees my kitten.)

Woman: “Oh, no, poor thing! What happened here?”

Me: “She’s okay; she’s just a bit miserable at the moment because she’s had the cone for the last couple of weeks. Thankfully, it comes off today!”

Woman: “That’s good; she certainly doesn’t look happy! Is everything okay?”

Me: “Oh, yeah. She’s just been desexed. We’re just here to get the stitches out. She’s had the cone to stop her licking at her stitches.”

(The woman looks rather taken aback by this news.)

Woman: “Desexed? What do you mean by that?”

Me: “Well, I had her spayed.”

Woman: *still looking confused* “Yes, but why?”

(I now assume the woman is confused because my kitten looks rather small for her age, and therefore looks a little too young to have been desexed.)

Me: “Well, it’s to stop her having kittens herself. My other kitten is a male; he was desexed, as well. She looks small, but she’s at the age where it’s safe.”

Woman: *now looking slightly annoyed for some reason* “What does spaying involve, exactly?”

Me: “Well, it’s not the nicest thing, but it involves the removal of the female’s ovaries to stop egg production. Thankfully, it’s a very routine procedure, and apart from the cone and some stitches, my little girl has come out wonderfully. She was walking up and about in two days. She just can’t wait to get the cone off.”

Woman: *now looking horrified* “That sounds horrid! Why would you do such a thing?!”

Me: *taken very much aback, but also annoyed because it’s really none of this woman’s business* “Well, cats make wonderful pets, but they also aren’t good for the ecosystem. I’m not a cat breeder and wouldn’t know how to properly breed kittens and look after them, so I desex my cats to ensure they don’t contribute to a feral cat problem, and also to reduce the number of cats in shelters. Especially since my other cat is a boy; I don’t want kittens. He’s been desexed, too. Not only that, but a female cat in heat is irritating. They meow and screech horribly, and they mark their territory by peeing everywhere.”

Woman: *thoroughly disgusted now* “Well, that sounds ridiculous. I could not imagine putting my poor kitty through that torture and removing their body parts just to stop nature happening. You should be ashamed of yourself!”

(I was about to make my retort when I heard the receptionist call my name. Not wanting to start a fight and just wanting to get out of there, I went in and got my cat’s stitches out. The whole thing took two minutes, and my kitten already looked much happier without the cone. As I walked out, I overheard the receptionist call out for a neutering. Guess who stood up with her dog?)

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Only Thing That Dog Did To A Stick Was Fetch It

, , , , , , , | Healthy | September 23, 2019

Caller: “My dog is pregnant!”

Me: “Ah, would you like to make an appointment to confirm?”

Caller: “Confirm? I already confirmed!”

Me: “Oh, I see. So, a follow-up appointment. Could I have your dog’s name, please?” *takes details* “I don’t see anything in her records about her pregnancy. Did you have her tested at another vet?”

Caller: “No, we’ve only ever gone to you.”

Me: “Then I would advise one of our team examine her to confirm.”

Caller: “I just told you. I’ve already confirmed. I peed on the stick and everything.”

Me: “Sorry? You used a human pregnancy test on your dog? 

Caller: *huffs* “No, I put [Dog] on my stomach like you told me to, and peed on the pregnancy test I got from the pharmacy. It was positive.”

Me: “…”

Caller: “Hello?”

Me: “Sorry, umm, we wouldn’t advise that as a means of determining your dog’s pregnancy. You should come into the vet where we can test her. And I would probably advise you go to the doctor and have yourself checked.”

Caller: “Are you saying I’m crazy?”

Me: “No, I’m saying you might be pregnant.”

Caller: “Oh.”

(We make an appointment, although I’m doubtful the dog is actually pregnant.)

Me: “Before you go, could I just ask where you got this pregnancy test idea? You said we may have advised it?”

Caller: “Not you specifically. A vet on Reddit told me about it.” *hangs up*

(I was working reception when she had her appointment. I asked if she had been to the doctor, to which she went on an elaborate story about seeking a holistic abortion centre — something else she read about online. The vet who examined the dog confirmed she wasn’t pregnant, and told me after the woman had left that she had never met anyone so out of touch with reality.)

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