note that the car wash entrance is blocked from my view

I’ve just finished counting my drawer and I take my first customer

me: hello what can I get for you

customer: I’d like $20 on pump 5 and a car wash

I ring him up and continue to take customers he comes back in and cuts in line and starts yelling

customer: you ***** the car was isn’t even open your useless I want my money back!!

me: I’m very sorry sir I just started my shift and no one let me know it wasn’t working

customer: I don’t give a **** I want my money how ******* stupid can you be!?!?!

me: I’d be happy to give you your money back and you can keep the carwash code for the inconvenience

I start to go through the process of getting his money back

customer: that’s not enough I want my car washed now you little ***** what’s your name I’m ******* reporting you and I’m calling the police

me: sir I’ve been more than nice and apologetic I’m getting your money right now

customer: are you deaf I want my car washed NOW!

he starts coming closed and is trying to get over the counter

me: okay sir I’m going to have to ask you to leave

customer: I’m going to get you fired and put in jail you stupid *****

I pick up the phone to call the police when he sees this he runs to his car and takes off her actually called courprate but everything was record so I didn’t get in trouble

It’s 10:10 pm, and I’m managing a fast food restaurant that closes at 10:00 pm. A few minutes ago, I locked all the doors and turned off all the exterior lights, the road sign, the dining room, and the drive-up menu board.

A car pulls on the lot. A customer gets out of her car, walks up to the vestibule-type entry, yanks on the door, and finds it locked. She walks to the other side of the vestibule, yanks on that door, and finds it locked. She walks around the building, to the door on the other side and — you guessed it — finds it locked. 

She then proceeds to walk up to the drive-up window, bangs on it until I come over, and then asks, “Are you open?”

Related:
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 34
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 33
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 32
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 31
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 30

I have season tickets for a VERY popular professional sports team. For the home opener, I was taking my friend who is the day bartender at one of the local bars. While I was waiting for her to finish up, one of the other customers starts talking to me
Customer: “Oh, man you guys are going to have so much fun. How did you get tickets?”
Me: “Yeah, the games are always fun. I have season tickets.”
Customer: “Really? What did you do, buy a few tickets from someone? So you have like a package of tickets?”
Me: “No, I have season tickets.”
Customer: “Ohhhhh… What are they? Your dad’s tickets?”
Me: “No. I have season tickets.”
Customer: “Well, who has the tickets? How did you get them?”
Me: “Look man, I don’t know how else to explain this to you. I have season tickets. They are in my name. I paid for them. I have had them for years. They are not my father’s tickets. They are not my brother’s tickets. They are not my boyfriend’s tickets. They are MY season tickets. The whole season. ALL of the games.”
I didn’t wait for a response and grabbed all of my stuff and moved to the other end of the bar. I don’t know why he couldn’t understand, but after he asked if they were my dad’s tickets, I can only assume that he didn’t think a woman could have season tickets for a professional sport.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I booked a room online and I was wondering what time I had to check in?”

Me: “Check-in begins at 3:00 pm.”

Caller: “Oh, so I have to check in by 3:00?”

Me: “No, check-in begins at 3:00. You can check in at 3:00 pm or any time after.”

Caller: “Oh, so I can check in any time before or after 3:00?”

Me: “No, any time after 3:00, not before.”

Caller: “Oh, after 3:00?”

Me: *Pause* “Yes.”

(I work at a burger joint inside a mall, and overheard a customer tell this to a coworker)

Customer: “I can’t have any tomatoes on my burger, I’m severely allergic. Can I also have extra ketchup on that?”