Upon Balance, That Was A Stupid Thing To Ask

, , , , | Right | May 4, 2021

We got almost a foot of snow and ice last night, but we are still open. A customer comes sliding up the walkway, nearly faceplants into a snow pile, and enters the branch.

Customer: “Whew! It’s a nasty one, isn’t it? I’m surprised you guys are open! Why are you open?”

Me: “Oh, because people still come in to do banking, even on a day like this.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous. Who would come out in all this snow just to go to the bank?”

Me: *Deadpan* “I have no idea, sir. What can I help you with today?”

Customer: “I just need my balance. That’s all.”

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You Can Always Be Kind, Even With Your Foot In Your Mouth

, , , , , , | Right | April 30, 2021

I am working as a cart attendant at a retail chain. Part of our responsibility is to help guests load items into cars when needed.

One late summer afternoon, I get called over the walkie-talkie to help a woman to her car with her purchase. For some reason, she has parked her van at the very last parking spot, so we have to walk together for a couple of minutes through the near-empty parking lot as I push two heaping carts and she pushes another.

We make small talk about how beautiful the weather is, how the days are getting longer, this and that. We are both smiling and laughing a bit the whole time about unimportant things as I’m loading various chips, sodas, doughnuts, paper plates, napkins, juices, and other things into the car.

Me: “Wow! You must be getting ready to have a big party!”

Customer: “It’s a funeral, actually.”

Me: *Embarrassed* “Oh, I’m sorry.”

She doesn’t respond, and I clam up and finish putting things in the van. Though I know now that I did nothing wrong, at the time, I felt like an insensitive jerk.

I close the van door, collect the carts, and turn to see that the customer is holding out money for me.

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not allowed to—”

Customer: *Cutting me off* “Take it.”

Me: “No, ma’am, I can’t, and besides, I—”

She interrupts once more, her voice cracking.

Customer: “Please take it. You really helped me today. You have no idea how much I needed someone to be nice to me today.  Besides, it was nice to talk about something normal during this time. So, please… take it.”

I took the money, and she smiled, got into her van, and drove away.

Having just moved to Chicago, I was pretty strapped for cash and hadn’t yet eaten on this particular day. The $10 she gave me was able to be used for two meals. It was such a small thing, but I don’t think I’ll ever forget her.

This story is part of our Feel Good roundup for April 2021!

Read the next Feel Good roundup for April 2021 story!

Read the Feel Good roundup for April 2021!

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De Thingz, Not De Tingz

, , , | Right | April 29, 2021

Caller: “I got slides I need made into digital things.”

Me: “I can help with that; we do that all the time.”

Caller: “So, you got a machine for making them into digital things?”

Me: “I have a scanner; I can scan the slides for you.”

Caller: “Great, I want to borrow it.”

Me: “Borrow?”

Caller: “Just for tonight. I’ll bring it back tomorrow.”

Me: “Um… No.”

Caller: “Fine, I can rent it if I have to.”

Me: “No… I can scan them for you; that’s part of what we do here.”

Caller: “How much is that?”

Me: “It’s [price] per slide.”

Caller: “What?! I have like two-thousand slides; that costs too much!”

Me: “Still less expensive than buying a scanner like I have, and it will take far longer than one night to scan that many. You can break them up into batches. Most people find they actually don’t want all their slides scanned.”

Caller: “I can rent one; you’re crazy.” *Hangs up*

No, you can’t rent one. And even if you could find one to rent, I can assure you that you will have no idea what to do with it to make “digital things.”


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Closing Down The Store And Closing Down The Complaints

, , , , | Right | April 27, 2021

We are closing. Our district manager is helping us pack everything up. She’s told us to direct nasty customers to her. I’ve got a customer complaining loudly about how our closing is a terrible inconvenience, etc. I’ve heard it all since they announced our closing, so I’m nodding politely, until:

Customer: “What is your name? I’m going to complain about you people closing this location. I can’t drive all the way to [Town] to go to your other location.”

The town in question is ten minutes away.

Me: “Ma’am, it was a corporate decision—”

Customer: “I don’t care! What is your name?”

Fed up, but still trying to keep a positive attitude, I smile and speak in the brightest tone I can muster.

Me: “Sure thing. My name is [My Name]. You can call [phone number], and that will direct you to our district manager. Actually, our district manager is here. Would you like to speak to her? I’m sure she’d be happy to chat with you. You know what? I’ll just get her for you. Hey, [District Manager]! Can you come here, please?”

Our district manager turns, smiles, and walks over. The customer stares at me like I’ve lost it.

Customer: “Er… no. That won’t be necessary.”

She scurries out the door.

District Manager: “Aww. Another one that didn’t want to talk to me.”

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Let’s Hope This Is Dry Humor

, , , , , | Right | April 23, 2021

I’m bringing the carts from outside into the vestibule at work. It’s rainy so the carts are wet. A lady approaches me.

Customer: “Excuse me, do you guys have any carts that are dry?”

Me: “We may have some carts that other customers have left in the front end of the store, but other than that, these and the carts that are outside are the only ones we have.”

Customer: *Visibly irritated* “Why don’t you have any carts that aren’t wet?

Me: “Um… because it’s raining and they’re coming from outside?”

Customer: “Ugh, this is ridiculous.” *Turns her nose up and walks inside*

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